CHAPTER SIXTEEN
September 1965.
Saturday night.
"Hey! Have you heard the news?" Ryan exclaims at the top of his voice, the door of banging shut behind him. His face is red, and he's puffing and panting like he's run all the way here. "You'll never guess what's happened."
"Quit being dramatic and spill it then," Danny says grinning at him.
He nods, gulps down a couple of deep breaths then starts up talking.
As Ryan pours out his news, I know I've got to get out of here. Away from everyone talking about it like it's something out the movies or some news report on tv rather than a guy from our neighbourhood, someone we all know. One of our own.
End up driving, not really heading anywhere in particular, navigating the streets of the city trying not to think about how easily it could have been any one of us standing there in his place. How it could have been Curly. How it could have been me.
Out the blue it crosses my mind to head down town and hunt out Wayne Myers. Tonight seems to be the night for settling scores. So why not with him, too?
I'm almost there when I come to my sense and realise it's about the dumbest idea I've ever had. Aside from the fact I have no idea what I'm doing, no plan, it's not like I'm exactly in any state to take him on anyway. Not after the rumble. No. If I'm gonna put the Kings' boss out of action once and for all, I'm going to do it properly—not go looking for a fight I've got no chance of winning 'cause I'm already bruised and battered and barely thinking straight.
Maybe there's been enough trouble for one night, should probably call it a night, head home. Ain't like the River Kings are going anywhere. They'll still be there tomorrow, next week, next month—however long it takes me to come up with a plan to get even with them once and for all.
Only it's as I'm turning the car away from Kings territory that it finally hits me. How I don't actually want to home. That there's only one place I want to be right now.
~oOo~
"Jesus, Tim, what the hell?" Leigh pushes her window open a little wider while she stares out at me, like she's half a mind to tell me to get lost. "You got any idea what the time is?"
The time? God it's has to be long past midnight, remember it was well after eleven when Ryan had come barrelling in through the door at Buck's making his announcement. But beyond that, I've got no clue.
"Please, Leigh? I need to speak to you. Five minutes is all. Then I'll go, I promise."
And I suppose I must sound pretty desperate, 'cause she nods at me, quickly glances at the closed door of her room. "Yeah, only keep the noise down. My dad's across the hall, hopefully he's still sleeping."
She opens the window to its widest and stands back. Grabbing a hold of the window ledge, I haul myself in through the gap as carefully and quietly as I can muster, narrowly miss falling on my face when the pain in my side takes me by surprise, barely managing to grab a hold of the edge the dresser to steady myself at the last second. As I do, a couple of books tumble to the floor, and I wince, hoping the resulting crash isn't really as loud as it seems.
Leigh stands a couple of feet away, studying me as best she can in the low light of her bedside lamp.
So I force myself to hold myself up a little straighter, like I'm not in pain and my head ain't killing me. That I don't feel close to breaking point.
Don't do a very good job though, not going by her expression. Guess I must look even more of a wreck than I'm feeling.
"What the hell happened to you, Tim?"
Leigh steps a little closer, reaches up and gently touches my forehead with her fingertips, makes me feel for a split second like there's nothing wrong between us. Only even in this state I know it ain't that straightforward 'cause we haven't actually spoken in a week now and the one time I've seen her since then she crossed the street, carried on walking like I wasn't even there.
"The rumble was tonight, against the Socs. Nose got busted again." Try to smile but fail miserably, 'cause now we're probably both thinking of the last time it happened. Me being a jerk to her, Miller decking me in the parking lot.
"God, Tim, sit down, how bad are you hurt?"
"I'm fine," I lie, letting her take my hand and guide me to sit on the edge of her bed all the same. "Everything needed settling, after all the trouble with that Cade kid. Tonight should have done that at least."
"That's great, but what's all that got to do with me that you needed to come here in the middle of the night?"
"I had to see you, after everything else that's gone down tonight."
"Why? What else happened?" Her voice is gentle, reassuring, reminds me of that first night, way back when she was just some girl in Nick's kitchen. When my brother was still home causing me trouble.
"Winston."
"Why, what's he done now?"
"He's dead."
Try not to think about how I only saw him a few hours ago in the hospital and cracked those jokes at his expense.
Or how it was only two nights ago that we were drinking and he asked me to back them in the rumble, to call in a favour and get Lewis and his guys on board too.
That despite all the trouble I've been in over the years I ain't ever known anyone to die because of it.
"God, Tim." She grabs my hand, squeezes it. "How? What the hell happened?"
Start off explaining to her what we heard back in the bar, how he'd been gunned down by the cops like the dumb idiot I always knew he was. That he lost it 'cause that other kid Johnny died, up in the hospital. Only it seems now I've started talking I can't fucking stop as I carry on telling her how damn sorry I am for the way I treated her, that it wasn't ever supposed to end that way, that I want things to go back to how they were. Leigh says nothing though, lets me carry on spilling it all. Then when I'm done she moves a little closer and wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a hug, only to shift quickly back again as I flinch a little under her touch.
"What's the matter, Tim, you bust your ribs in the fight as well as your nose?" She studies me more closely, fingers hovering over the dark stain that's barely visible on my black T-shirt, at the tear in the cotton.
"It's nothing."
"Nothing? Come on, let me take a look."
"No, I'm fine." Try to push her hands away, while she frowns.
"Come on, you're gonna let me, Tim. So take your damn shirt off will you? It's not like I haven't seen you without it before, is it?"
"Okay, okay." I start to drag it over my head when the pain tears through me again, makes me draw in a sharp breath.
"Here, let me give you a hand." Her hands are gentle as she helps me, then focuses back on the rough cut visible on my side. "What the hell, how'd you get cut like that?"
"Some asshole brought crap he shouldn't to a skin fight."
"Tell me you've cleaned this at least?"
Nod at her, had doused it with some booze when I'd first arrived back at the bar.
"So who done it, some Soc?"
Nod again, 'cause I can't exactly admit to her it was that jerk Jones outta Brumly. The one she was drinking with last Saturday night. That the only reason I got cut up was down to the fact I'd taken the opportunity, in all the confusion near the end of the rumble, to try to take him out as well. How I'd cornered him right after I'd laid out some big time Soc, not realising he had that piece of pipe until he caught me square in the ribs and ripped into me with the jagged end of it. That after that I'd nearly lost it and Lewis had had to step in and stop me, discipline the fucker himself before I finished things.
Can barely concentrate anyway, with her hands on my skin as she turns me a little into the light, presses gently either side of the wound. "Hmm, it's not pretty but it doesn't seem too deep. You need to be careful to not move too quick and open it up again."
And I don't exactly know how it happens or who moves first but somehow we're kissing. I try to ignore the pain that's overtaking me as I wrap my arms around her, don't want this moment to ever end. Only I don't get a choice in that 'cause Leigh pushes me gently away, and next thing she's heading towards the door.
Jesus I'm an idiot. I've pushed her too far, too quick. Blown my chances yet again. Dragging myself up onto my feet, I reach for my shirt.
"Guess I better get going then."
"No don't." Leigh shakes her head. "That is, you don't have to, unless you want to? I was only going to grab you some Aspirins, might help you feel a bit better. You could stay a while? If you want to?"
Much as I want to be here, I need to be certain she means it, take a step towards her and rest my hand on her shoulder, as much to steady myself as anything, 'cause the room is starting to spin and I suddenly ain't feeling so hot.
"You're sure?"
"Yeah. Don't think you're exactly in any state to go anywhere right now anyway, it's a miracle you even made it here." And then she kisses me real quick. "Now go lie down before you fall down."
~oOo~
Sunday.
Raised voices bring me round with a jolt.
Takes me a couple of seconds to get my bearings, and despite all the crap that's happened in the last twenty four hours I still find myself grinning at the realisation that I'm actually here, in Leigh's bed. How right it felt to have her here next to me, curled up against my uninjured side with her hand on my chest, telling me everything would be just fine. The first time in all the nights we've spent together that we've stayed together until morning, even if I wasn't exactly in any shape to take advantage of that fact.
Except we aren't together anymore, I'm here alone. Sets me wondering whether any of it actually happened like I remember or if I got hit harder than I thought and it was all some fucked up dream.
Angry tones cut through the air again, bring me back to reality.
Tentatively, I sit up and reach for my jeans. A quick glance at her alarm clock makes me do a double take, 'cause somehow it's already after midday. Least my head's not hurting so bad, even if the rest of me feels like shit still. Shaking myself I pull on my clothes and edge towards the door, quietly open it a fraction so I can hear a little better and try to make out what the hell is going on out there.
Leigh and her old man must be in the kitchen or something 'cause although I can hear them arguing, snapping backwards and forwards at each other, I still can't exactly make out the words. Although I don't suppose it's about me, reckon Frank'd be in here giving me a piece of his mind and some if he knew I was in here.
And then the volume of his voice goes up another level. "...But nothing, Leigh. Now I've been fine this last week, and all the time since I've been home, haven't I? ... I said haven't I?"
Don't hear no reply, but apparently she must eventually agree with him, 'cause he continues on at her.
"Okay then, so no more about this. I'm going out. I'll see you later." And a couple of seconds later the front door bangs shut and his truck starts up, tires squealing as he drives off.
Crossing the hall I find Leigh in the sitting room, busying herself with tidying up, make her jump a little when I speak to her.
"Morning, you should've woken me."
"'S'alright, you looked like you needed the sleep."
"You okay?" Can't exactly miss her serious expression or that her eyes shine like she's close to tears, the fact it feels like there's that uncomfortable distance back between us again. "You in trouble with your old man?"
"No, not really. Just he's a stubborn idiot who thinks he's indestructible. Thinks he can carry on exactly the same as before and be fine. Don't care for me telling him he shouldn't." She shrugs, still doesn't smile. "Anyway, don't worry about it. You want to go shower or something?"
"You sure you're alright?"
She shrugs again, picks up a glass from the table and heads to the kitchen, like she's avoiding answering me, and I end up following her.
"Leigh? You gonna talk to me or not?"
"What do you want me to say?"
"How about you tell me what's troubling you? Seems you've got more on your mind than your old man."
She spends an age shuffling things about on the counter before eventually turning back to me, plays with the hem of her top as she asks her question.
"Why did you come here last night, Tim?"
"I came to see you. Last night, everything that happened, made me wise up to what's important. I want you back, Leigh, I miss you. And I was kinda hoping you felt the same, after you let me stay."
"You were a mess; turning up here banging on my window in the middle of the night. I couldn't make you leave, wouldn't have forgiven myself if I sent you away and something awful had happened to you." She leans back against the sink, folds her arms, stares at the floor rather than at me.
"Don't tell me you don't want me. I might have been pretty out of it but I sure as hell wasn't imagining you kissing me or holding me, all them things you said to me."
"Maybe, but I don't know that it's that simple."
And that sick feeling she's moved on gets me again, force myself to ask the question, even though I'm not sure I want to hear the answer. "Why? Have you got someone else? You serious about that Brumly guy now or something?"
"What? No." And finally she holds my gaze. "There wasn't anything to that, just seemed like a good idea at the time. Sylvia put me up to it. Said it always worked on Dally, made him realise what he was missing. So I thought maybe..." She pauses, her face flushing scarlet. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter what I thought. The truth of it is, I had a couple of drinks with him, didn't even stay all that long after you left. Spent the rest of the night back in Sylvia's bathroom throwing up and crying about you. Let's just say I'm not likely to be drinking that much again anytime soon."
And while she shakes her head at the memory, I can't help but smile a little at her words, 'cause at least if she's been crying about me then I must still mean something to her. "Then why d'you avoid me the other afternoon?"
"Why do you think? The last time we spoke didn't exactly go well, so I didn't want to make a fool of myself again. Besides, it's hardly a secret that you've been seeing other girls, so I figured you obviously weren't missing me all that much."
"Jesus, I deserved all you said to me that night and more." And beyond that I don't exactly know what to say, 'cause it's true, there's been too many other girls. Want to tell her that I spent all that time wishing it was her I was with, that none of them made me feel the way I do around her, only the moments gone and she's speaking again.
"Yeah, but that still doesn't change the fact you didn't trust me. Or that you did what you did, Tim."
"So are you saying you don't want to be with me?"
She open her mouth like she's about to speak, stops again and runs her hand through her hair, before finally answering me, "Yes… No... Oh, I don't know. I mean I've got no wish to keep fighting with you, Tim. But then I don't want to end up like Dal and Sylv used to be, with you running around and me forgiving you every single time, falling back in your bed whenever you've got nothing better going on. Because that sure as hell isn't what I'm looking for."
"Listen, Leigh, that ain't what I want either. I know I fucked up big time with you. Knew it straight away, that night in the parking lot, only I was too much of an idiot to actually admit I was in the wrong. So will you take me back, let me make it up to you? I mean, we had some good times didn't we? We were pretty damn good together, don't you think?"
"Yeah, guess we were."
"Reckon we could be again?"
And as she finally smiles at me, I get some small glimmer of hope that maybe things will work out alright after all. "Yeah, I reckon we could."