Marinette didn't know how long she stood outside his house, but she knew it had been more than 15 minutes, for the cold seeped past her cotton gloves, numbing her fingers. Her body refused to shiver and welcomed the chilling of her bones. It was only when commotion came from inside the home that she became aware of the weather and its waging war on her body. She grimaced as she clenched her fists. Stiff and cold, she shoved them into her maroon trench coat and rocked on her boots. Her breath formed a small puff of condensed air when she exhaled and raised her fist to the door.
Rap, rap.
No one answered but the house went silent. She counted backward from ten before she raised to her fist to knock again. The second her gloved hand touched the green door, she hesitated.
Knocking twice seemed like an act of desperation.
Especially considering the eye hole in the door, which she assumed he had seen her out of.
Her vulnerable hand started to shake and she tried to play it off as the cold, but it was also the hint of nervousness she refused to acknowledge.
The cold withered her bones and she knew that she did need to enter some house soon or she would freeze. Rocking on her boots, she stuffed her shaky hand in her left pocket and pulled the warm one from her right.
With her fist raised, she aimed to hit the door-
-only to feel nothing beneath it.
"Marinette," it was surprised, soft and hushed, but concerned.
"Hi," she coughed. Her body betrayed her and hunched over. He ran to catch her, pulling her inside.
"How long've you been out there?"
He had to have known, but it's hard to skate on frozen waters without skates.
She pushed his question aside as well as his arms from her body. She shut the door behind her and gasped when she noticed the living room.
Cherry and lime lights decorated the walls. A live Christmas tree stood courageously in the far corner, its limbs coated in silver and gold tinsel and a kaleidoscope of ornament colors. A fire roared from across the tree. On the other half of the living room were several opened boxes, still full of Christmas trinkets.
"You're decorating."
Adrien nodded, placing his hands in his jean pockets. His juniper sweater wrinkled at the wrists.
Marinette didn't have any more to say, so she peeled off her coat and strode toward the heat. Her fingers hovered outside of the metal, protecting her from the flames themselves. She felt Adrien's presence still remaining at the door.
Clenching her fingers open and shut over and over again, Marinette felt her body come back to life.
Anything but him, though. She studied the bricks in the mantel, the crackle and pop of the fire, and the coffee table.
The coffee table.
Two plates and two cups resided there. Empty crumbs dotted the plates and red liquid the half-empty cups. Being a baker herself, she noticed it was a yellow cake with white buttercream frosting. She assumed the latter was cider.
The coffee table. It was all she could stare at. Her fingers started to overheat, and she could feel beads of sweat forming inside her snow-white sweater, but she couldn't bring herself to pull them away. She didn't dare look at Adrien.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him shift and although his voice felt far away, he said, "Kay, was over earlier helping me decorate."
"Kagami?" she asked.
His silence answered her question.
She rose and walked into the kitchen. He hadn't bothered putting any of it away. But then, he probably never expected her to show up. The cider's lid was off and the cake hadn't been covered. She pulled open a cupboard and covered the cake with plastic wrap.
His voice came from behind her and she imagined him, his hand against the door frame, his weight leaning on his left foot, and the hurt in his eyes.
"We just decorated," he said.
She shook her head, it wasn't that. Her words came out in a whisper, "It's nothing," she shrugged, "if I wanted to know who you were hanging out with when I was gone, I would've asked."
The ice between them seemed to thicken. She turned to face him. His gaze was on the floor.
"Kitty," she called. She didn't know where that had come from. The personal nickname was a step toward something she didn't want to admit she wanted. He slowly raised his eyes to hers. It wasn't a step onto the ice, but it was an acknowledgment of it.
She stepped toward him, slowly wrapping her arms around him. He returned her hug immediately and she relished in the warmth of his body.
"My lady," he breathed. The warmth of his breath against her neck made her skin prickle.
"I like them, the decorations." His embrace tightened briefly and she felt him bury his face in her hair.
"Are you finished?"
His head moved left to right against her. "No," he whispered.
"What's missing?"
He drew back and stared at her. His eyes searched for something, although she didn't know what.
"'Tis the damn season," she said with a nervous chuckle. He didn't laugh and stared. She swallowed. He blinked and the look in his eyes was gone. Stepping back from her, he clutched her hand and pulled them back into the living room. He led her over to a box and handed her the star.
"Let's put it on the tree," his smile was so small, she wondered if it had even been there, to begin with.
"How am I gonna reach that?" She pointed to the tree.
He shrugged, "I'll bring the coffee table over." It came out so effortlessly she forgot everything about the coffee table until he froze and she backtracked through his words. Ignoring all of that, she sauntered to the table and dragged it across the wood floor until it sat directly beside the tree. Star in hand, she stepped onto the table and leaned over to snag the tree's top branch. She balanced on one foot and pulled the tree to her height. The star was inches away from the top and if she could just-
-"Mari, wait!"
It wasn't slow motion, it was as quick as a snap. One second balanced, the next not. But she hadn't hit the floor or cracked her head on the coffee table. Adrien cradled her body in his arms, one arm holding her legs and the other her back.
Neither of them said a word. Adrien bit his lip and wouldn't meet her eyes. She heard him sniffle. Peering over Adrien's shoulder, Marinette looked for the star and grimaced when she saw its fragments scattered across the hard floor. Leaning back against Adrien's chest, Marinette didn't move. Adrien didn't let up either. He wouldn't make any eye contact, still, so she studied him.
She found herself lifting gloved fingers to his cheek and cradling it. His eyes finally pierced hers and Marinette broke the contact to study her hand on his cheek. He still bit his lip. Marinette brushed her fingers across them and gently pulled them apart. Adrien remained so standstill. The passing thought of how he was still able to hold her came and went.
This was slow motion.
Her face approached his and Marinette pressed her lips against Adrien's, her gloved hands leaving his cheek to wrap around his neck.
Now, this was an act of desperation.
But it wasn't an unanswered one.
Adrien's lips moved against hers, and in one swoop, she lay on the couch. Removing her legs from his side, she wrapped them around his waist. She ran her hands through his hair and suddenly aware of the cotton between them, pulled away from him to peel them off.
Adrien didn't hesitate, directing his attention to her neck as he peppered her with more kisses. Marinette threw the mittens somewhere across the room. His hand roamed over her body and eventually migrated underneath her shirt. He caressed her skin and mumbled indecipherable words against her skin.
She wasn't thinking, but it wasn't the time to think. So, she pushed every reasonable thought out of her head.
The only constants in the world right now was the boy gently pulling her boots off, her hands reaching to yank his sweater and toss it in the same direction of the mittens, and their hushed breaths as they tried with unreasonable attempts to melt the ice between them with heat.
#
Her body felt limp. Perspiration dotted her back and warmth filled her aching body. Still, instead of the former, freezing ache, a pessimistic and gloomy one now coursed through her.
Adrien's face rested in the crook of her neck. Their breathing synched and Marinette watched as their bodies rose and fell together. She ran a tired hand through his blonde waves.
The room shimmered around them. The tree remained starless, and Marinette didn't want to leave the couch to stare at the mess of the fallen decoration. Adrien groaned as he removed his head from her shoulder. Marinette watched as he pushed himself up and stared at her. She knew the question that would follow. She dreaded it. She wouldn't look at him.
"Mari," he called to her. Her eyes scoured the room for the star. She'd rather stare at that than the broken soul in front of her.
He peeled himself away from her completely and rose from the couch to collect his clothes. She wasn't ready when he tossed hers at her.
She didn't have time to stifle the surprise and laughter that bubbled out of her. Adrien grinned. He strode back to the couch and knelt beside her. Marinette started to put on her top. When it was over her head, Adrien reached for her hand.
"Where are you staying?"
"My parent's house." Her parents didn't really care that she was out. She was twenty years old.
"Stay with me." His eyes filled with hope.
Marinette knew she shouldn't, they had broken up months ago. Yet, that didn't stop her from preventing what happened moments ago. If she was honest, she would have never stopped him. She still loved him, after all.
"Please," Adrien brought her knuckles to his lips.
"I want to," was all she could say.
"So stay," he said.
She couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth, so instead, she agreed.
#
Her parents hadn't batted an eye when she came back the next day to retrieve her suitcase.
Her maman, had asked, "Where?"
She called back, "A friend's."
#
The Christmas decorations were finally up. They had cleaned up the star together, both of them silent throughout the whole process. Marinette broke that by accidentally slicing her finger open via one of the broken glass shards.
"Guess I'm still clumsy as ever," she chuckled.
"Don't know how you ever make it as a designer, m'lady."
The nickname coursed through her heart, and she smiled despite her brain telling her that she had been hurt, both in the past and right now.
#
They slept most of their days away, cradling in each other. Neither of them cared that they could be out doing holiday activities like ice-skating or snowman building.
They had made it to the kitchen for coffee one day when Marinette wished she hadn't said her thoughts aloud, for it left a wide chasm of awkwardness between them.
"I missed it here."
Adrien didn't say anything, just glanced at her once before shutting the cupboards, "We're all out of sugar."
#
She didn't dare bring Adrien over to her parents for Christmas dinner.
"My parents need me for a few hours, today," was all she said.
He took the hint, "That's fine, I have some errands to run anyways."
Dinner was nice, as usual. Her mamanasked about her "friend", and Marinette brushed her off, "He's got errands to run, but the turkey's good this year, Maman."
Her arms were full of leftovers when she returned to his house. She nearly dropped them when she stepped over the door sill.
The living room was dark. "Adrien?"
It was as quick as a snap.
The decorations lit up and the room was branded in cherry and lime lights. Adrien stood in the center of the room, a small box in his hands.
"No," she sighed, "I didn't get you anything."
He shook his head and gestured to the plates in her hands, "Food works."
She set them on the floor, "It's probably not the same as what's in there."
"That's true, but it doesn't matter. You're here."
Not for long, her brain reprimanded.
"Adrien," she started.
He strode to her, "Just open it, m'lady."
She gingerly took the box and pulled the ribbon. She lifted the box and found a small, black box waiting for her.
"Adrien."
He ignored her and took the box from her hands. Marinette froze, somehow feeling numb despite the heat and roaring fire.
He didn't take a step back and didn't kneel. Adrien opened the box and Marinette gasped at the ring.
It was silver, reminding her of his old miraculous ring. Yet, instead of pure, plain silver, this ring had tiny ladybugs all around it.
"Chat, it's," she couldn't find words.
"You. It's you, Bug, and it's yours. I know you've missed having Tikki around, and, I was gonna give it to you this year anyway, woah, wait, are you okay?"
She wasn't. Tears rolled down her cheek and she felt the need to lie on the floor and sob. Sob for this man in front of her who she so dearly loved and who loved her and-
"Bug, Mari, are those happy tears?"
She shook her head. Some of the tears were happy because the ring made her happy, but most of those tears were regretful and remorseful for their relationship.
"Adrien, I'm going back tomorrow." There she had said it. She didn't need to say where. They both knew. New York City hung over their shoulders like dark rain clouds.
She didn't dare meet his eyes, so she walked to the couch and took a seat. He followed her and she was reminded of a week ago, when he had asked her to stay, and now it was the same, but so very different.
"I can't stay," was all she said to the crouched man in front of her.
Adrien held her hand, "I know."
She gasped and finally stared at him. "You knew?"
He nodded, "I knew you'd go back to NYC, Mari, so don't feel bad, okay? I asked you to stay and you did, and if that's all this will ever be-"
"No," she cried.
"-then I'm okay with it. If this is all the universe is gonna give us, then I'll take it."
"But," her eyes fell on the ring box in her hand.
Adrien smiled sadly and reached for her right hand. He gently pushed the metal onto her fourth finger. Marinette shivered as the silver came to rest on her hand. She closed her eyes briefly and imagined a world where the ring would lay on her left.
Adrien squeezed her right hand, "We can call it even."
She returned it. "'Tis the damn season," she said. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her. She nestled her head into his shoulder and sighed.
The road not taken looks real good now.
That was how it all began.