Chapter One: I Can Do Anything
Dr. Drakkan was having a bad day.
Ordinarily, Shego wouldn't care, watching him yell was funny. But she was being paid to help him at the moment. So she was obligated by contract to care.
So the sudden power outrage from a random lightning strike was her problem too.
"Look at this, Shego! My entire army of robots unusable!" said Drakkan, on his knees in a fury.
Shego shrugged in her skintight green jumpsuit. "I told you we needed a backup generator. When you first start charging an electronic device if you unplug it too soon-"
"I know how electronics work, Shego!" said Drakkan, standing and straightening his lab coat. "I am a super genius!"
"Sure you are," said Shego, who had doubts about her blue-skinned employer. "So, what's the plan?"
Drakkan paused and seemed to consider it for a moment. "There's nothing for it.
"We'll need to reinstall new batteries to compensate for this power outage."
More crawling around on her knees and getting mucky with oil. Shego crossed her arms underneath her breasts and looked away. "Count me out. I already spent two hours on that thing. Send your usual goons to do it."
"I can't!" said Drakkan. "They took time off. Honestly, of all the times to do this."
Shego sighed. "Can't you do it yourself?"
"Me?" asked Drakkan, seemingly horrified. "I am Doctor Drakkan, a mad scientist, and the future ruler of this world that foolishly denied my genius! I do not do manual labor!"
"Well, I don't either," noted Shego, who was already doubling as muscle and chief advisor. "It's not in the contract."
Drakkan began to pace back and forth, muttering to himself as he did so. Shego considered thinking up some advice. But then she remembered that wasn't in her contract either. And doing his job for him at the moment wouldn't amuse her as much as watching him sweat.
Finally, Drakkan stopped. "...I suppose I ought to hire some outside help. We need to get someone in here on short notice. Shego, check the status of Team Impossible, I want to know if they'll be getting involved here."
"Whatever," said Shego. Team Impossible had a bad habit of tweeting their current locations. Not to mention bragging about their achievements. It had made outmaneuvering them a cinch. Moving over to a console, she went about doing it and typed in the name.
Or at least she thought she'd typed it in.
Except she wasn't looking at the website for Team Impossible. Shego was looking at a website for Kim Possible. Checking the URL, Shego noticed that she'd added a K before the impossible. That made it instead of . Or was it ?
Shego didn't care.
Kim was a teenager and a recently graduated one. Pretty cute and from her picture was still wearing braces. There was also a picture of some dopey looking blonde kid on it, and then Shego read the website. Then she realized they were an answer to Drakkan's problem. Glancing over to Drakkan, she decided to bring it up."Hey."
"What?" asked Drakkan, who was in the midst of writing help wanted posters.
"I think I found our solution," said Shego. The best kind, the one you didn't have to work for.
"On the Team Impossible website?" asked Drakkan blinking. "Of course! We can hire the fools to come here, then brainwash them and make them do our dirty work!"
"No, I made a typo," said Shego, not in the mood to point out all the ways that wouldn't work. " . She's a teenager who offers help with the assistance of a partner, Ron Stoppable."
"What kind of help?" asked Drakkan.
Shego glanced back to the website and looked for any details. All she had was a tagline, and she glanced back to Drakkan. "I don't know.
"It just says 'I can do anything.'"
Drakkan frowned. "That seems a bit braggy."
"It's advertising Drakkan, it's supposed to be," said Shego.
"Fine, whatever," said Drakkan. "I suppose they'll make good manual labor. Make contact with them now. I'll get my neutralizer, just in case."
"Are you sure that thing even works?" asked Shego.
"If you do your job," said Drakkan. "We won't have to find out."
Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable were together for studying.
Or that was the idea. In practice, Kim was studying, and Ron was looking over their website, waiting for hits. Ron had taken to scanning it in the hopes of getting out of things they didn't want to deal with.
It was better than eating Nachos like they'd done last time. Ron could actually be a huge help when he put his mind to it. Or didn't put his mind to it.
"So what's the status on the website, Ron?" asked Kim, flipping the page on her bed. A strand of red hair fell in front of her face and over the page. She had to move it away before she could start reading.
Ron glanced up. "Oh, it's uh, going pretty well overall. No hits or anything, since your last babysitting job. Hey, why'd you sign me up as your partner in this anyway?"
"I need someone to run the website when I'm at cheerleading practice," said Kim. "Besides, I might get called for something I need a partner for.
"Hey, why don't you study with me?"
"No, thank you, watching a blank screen is far more. Ron Stoppable-esque," said Ron.
"Ron Stoppable-esque?" asked Kim.
"Yeah, it's my image and stuff," said Ron simply. "I still don't know about the tagline, KP. It's braggy."
Kim sighed, not wanting to have this conversation again. Ron kept saying it was saying too much. "I already told you, Ron, it's an advertisement. Nobody is going to expect people our aid to fight supervillains and-" She looked up. Just past Ron, she saw something pop up on her website. "Wait, something just blinked on the screen."
Standing up, Kim shoved aside her red hair and ran forward. Ron turned to the screen. "Oh, hey, you're right. This is a message from an uh... Doctor Drakkan. He wants help with some repair work. It doesn't require any special skills from the looks of things."
"Wow, that sounds interesting," said Kim, looking over Ron's shoulder. "Tell him we'll be on the address."
"Um, it's in Lowerton from the looks of things, on the outskirts," said Ron, doing some research. "King of a recent purchase, actually."
Kim nodded. "Well, come on. Let's call in a favor and head down there now."
Kim stopped only to dress quickly and comb her hair properly.
Shego peered out of the fortress tower through the rain and thunder. Looking down, she saw a car pull up in front of the driveway. Out of it stepped Ron Possible and Kim Possible. As they did, Kim glanced at the driver. "Thanks for driving us all the way out here, ma'am."
"Oh, don't mention it, Kim Possible," said the woman inside. "You were a huge help with my grandchildren; it's the least you could do."
"Oh, don't worry about it," said Kim. "Anyone could have done that job."
Then Kim looked up at the fortress and looked a bit doubtful. The other kid, though, seemed undisturbed. "So uh...
"Ron, are we sure this Drakkan guy is legit? This place looks a bit sketchy."
"Oh, come on, Kim," said Ron. "You advertised 'I can do anything' on your website."
"Point taken," said Kim. "Well, let's see what we can find."
Shego put away her spying equipment and made her way down the door's steps as they approached. Double-checking the machines, she was glad to see Drakkan had put tarps over everything. But the areas they needed to work with. Drakkan himself was nowhere to be seen, which was good.
Shego had made sure he understood he had to stay out of his way.
There was a knock, and Shego answered. Looking out, she saw Kim Possible and Ron looking up at her in concern. They were actually pretty cute, in a completely out of their depth sort of way. There was no way they'd be any use here.
"Excuse me, are you Dr. Drakkan?" asked Kim.
Shego found this assumption insulting but remembered she had a masquerade to maintain. So she smiled politely like she had learned back in child care classes. "No, I'm his assistant, Shego. I take it you're the girl who can do anything."
"I told you it was braggy," said Ron.
"It's an advertisement!" said Kim and Shego at once.
There was an embarrassing silence before Kim looked back to her. "Um, nice to meet you. I'm Kim Possible, and this is Ron Stoppable, my partner. Um, what's with the green jumpsuit?"
Shego glanced down. "Oh, um, this is a lab suit to deal with slight weapon malfunctions.
"Anyway, we've got to cut the chatter, we're on a timetable here," said Shego, turning and walking in. "A power outage fried a lot of our machines mid powering, and we've got a schedule to keep."
"Oh, so what are you, making an army of killer robots?" asked Ron.
Shego glanced over with an unimpressed look. Was this kid smarter than he looked? "What do you think, kid? Come on."
Shego led them into the room with all the robots. The newly stolen generators were all placed at the feet of their respective robots. Ron seemed to be awed at the size, while Kim was all business. Shego tapped Ron on the forehead. "Ahem, eyes on me." Ron complied quickly. "On my face, thanks."
"Sorry," said Ron.
"Now, I'm going to demonstrate how to install one of these, and you are going to pay close attention," said Shego. "I had to um... acquire these devices twice in one day, so don't break them." Mass theft was difficult enough when you weren't doing it twice in one day without getting caught.
"Don't worry, Kim can do anything!" said Ron.
Shego doubted it.
But she said nothing and kneeled down to begin working to remove the old generator, and put up new ones. As she did, she explained what had to be done, while Ron and Kim looked on. Well, Kim listened intently, while Ron looked bored and out of his element.
Then, all of a sudden, a pink thing scrambled over Shego's arm. She stood up, throwing it off. "Ah! What is that thing!"
"That's just Rufus, my pet naked mole rat!" said Ron, running to grab the creature. "Come on, buddy, hide in my pocket."
"Why would you buy something like that?" asked Shego.
"My Dad has allergies and didn't want a pet with hair," said Ron.
"...Suit yourself," said Shego. "Now watch carefully. I'm going to show you how to install these things."
One lesson later, Shego stood up, having finished. She looked at Ron and Kim. "Now, do you think you two can do this?"
"Yep," said Kim.
"Yeah, Ron Stoppable isn't gonna be stopped by something like a little repair work," said Ron.
"Good," said Shego, now sick of babysitting. "Ron, take the left side, Kim, take the right. I'm going to be over here supervising the work."
They complied and started work. Kim started working busily and seemed to be quite skilled. Ron, meanwhile, began putting things together with a slipshod and disorganized fashion. Shego considered stopping him, but that would increase her workload.
"Hey, Rufus, could you give me a hand here buddy," said Ron, fiddling around with the wrong tool.
"Mmmhmm!" said the mole-rat.
However, as he did, the tarp on the robot fell off, revealing it in full glory. Ron looked up. "Hang on a second," said Ron. "Why do these robots have death rays on them?"
"They aren't death rays," said Shego quickly. "These are meant for mining. See, we use them to cheat away rock safely, so miners don't get hurt."
"Oh, wow," said Kim. "That sounds like it could really help with mine safety."
"I know, right," said Shego flatly.
"Shego, Shego..." whispered a voice from the far wall.
Shego glanced back and saw Drakkan peeking out. Rushing over, she slammed the door shut, Drakkan giving a grunt of pain. "Drakkan, shut up!" Shego whispered. "If you come out here, you'll blow our cover for sure."
"So um, where is this Drakkan guy anyway?" asked Ron, looking up from where he was using duct tape.
"Oh, he's uh... arranging for the payment we used on replacement parts," said Shego. Then she remembered his alibi. "So, you seem pretty at home with this kind of work." Or Kim did anyway, Shego had no idea what Ron was doing.
"Oh my Dad's a rocket scientist, and the Possible family have always been quick studies," said Kim. "We've got a saying 'anything is possible for a possible.'"
"Cute," said Shego. "I left my family behind a long time." Wait, why'd she gone and revealed that.
"Oh, you had some sort of falling out?" asked Kim.
"You could say that," said Shego. "They pushed me into a career I didn't really want. So I broke off contact."
"Ever think about getting back into contact?" asked Ron.
"Never in a million years," said Shego flatly.
"I guess I can understand that," said Kim, moving on to the next generator. "My cousin Larry is kind of not someone I like talking with."
"Yeah, I gotta ask, what is it you have against your cousin Larry anyway?" asked Ron.
"Don't get me started on Larry," said Kim. "He-"
And so began the rant to end all rants. Clearly, one that had long been in the making, and it was very detailed. It continued as Kim and Ron finished one robot after another. What disturbed Shego was that Ron was actually ending up with an installed generator. He'd been using methods that made no sense, but the end result was the same.
"And then he..." continued Kim.
On and on it went. Shego found herself reminded of babysitting her brothers. That was a lie she was glad she had left behind.
"And finally..." continued Kim.
An hour or two later, the robots were done. "...which is why I'm not looking forward to reunions." Kim looked up. "Hey, we're done."
"Yeah, good work, I guess," said Shego, who had been reading a magazine, the Evil Weekly. "So uh, what's your charge?" She put the magazine away where they couldn't see it.
Kim blinked. "We don't charge money. We just do this to help people."
Shego was surprised by that. "Wow, that's uh... very nice of you. Look, do you want a soda from the fridge or something, you've probably helped us a lot?"
"Please, and thank you," said Kim quickly.
Shego nodded and led them into the kitchen. Opening the fridge, she checked what sodas Drakkan had picked up for his henchmen. "Coke or pepsi?"
"Pepsi, please," said Kim.
"Coke," said Ron.
"Right, we've only got diet though," said Shego, tossing them each what they wanted. "I mostly use the stuff as a cleaning material."
"That's a waste of a perfectly good soft drink," said Ron.
The naked mole-rat voiced its agreement.
Shego shrugged. "The stuff dissolves teeth. Dr. Drakkan once lowered a superhero into the stuff when he ran out of acid."
Dead silence.
And, Shego had just blown her own cover.
"What?" said Kim.
Shego quickly backpedaled. "Um... well... what I mean to say is... if hypothetically Dr. Drakken were a supervillain he could lower... you're not buying this are you?"
"Not at all," said Ron and Kim in unison.
Shego sighed. "Alright, fine. Drakkan, you can make your speech now."
Drakkan opened the door and marched in. "What makes you think I'm going to make a speech?"
Shego looked at him flatly.
Drakkan sighed. "...Fair enough." Then he burst into maniacal laughter. "Aha! My trap worked perfectly! Now that my killer robots have been repaired and armed for combat, I will be able to take over the world! Now no one can stop me!"
Raising a button, he turned on the robots, and they moved into position and saluted.
"Um..." Kim halted. "How are you going to take over the world with these?" Good question.
"They are killer robots, you fool!" said Drakkan.
"Well, yes, but um..." Kim paused. "Just one army?"
"I..." Drakkan paused. "Well, you see...
"With this, I'll be able to defeat Team Impossible and uh..."
"Get wiped out by the traditional military forces of the USA?" asked Shego.
"Shut up, Shego!" said Drakkan. "An army of robots isn't a bad thing! They'll crush the pathetic forces of the US!"
"Y'know, I don't think these weapons are going to be of much use against a fully loaded aircraft carrier," said Ron. "Do you, Rufus?"
The mole rat shook his head.
Drakkan paused. "I... well..."
This was actually kind of fun. Shego decided to get in on it. "Yep, they'd be blown up from the sky before they got a single shot off."
"Shego, why didn't you point this out earlier?!"
"You don't pay me to think, Drakkan," said Shego with a shrugged. "And I get paid either way anyway."
"Arg! This can't be allowed to happen! We need a better plan than this!" said Drakkan, pacing back and forth. "We'll have to go back to the drawing board on this one!"
Kim and Ron looked at one another. Finally, Ron spoke. "Right, um, this has been very interesting and all, but um, we've finished our task, and we'd like to-"
Drakkan drew out his neuralizer, and there was a flash. A blank, dopey smile went across their faces. "We are not supervillains. You have completed your job and will now return home, content in the knowledge that you have done a hard day's work."
"Yes, Dr. Draken," said both of them in unison.
Shego quickly escorted the swirly eyed kids out of the hidden lair and to the front deck. By then, the neuralizers trance effect was wearing off. Assuming they didn't run into anything to wake up the sealed memories, there wouldn't be a problem.
"Wait a minute, how did we get out here?" asked Kim, looking around.
"Oh, you spaced out for a minute," said Shego. "I guess you were working too hard. You two did good work, though. Have a nice day."
"Right, uh sure, nice to meet you, Ms. Shego," said Kim.
"Just Shego," said Shego flatly, sick of today.
Then Drakkan's evil laughter resounded as lightning struck above. Kim looked upward with Ron nervously. "Uh is that... maniacal laughter?"
"No, no, see uh... Doctor Drakkan's therapist told him that he was supposed to laugh more," said Shego. She hoped she didn't have to get the neuralizer. She doubted they'd stay put, and she'd have to tie them up. Not even going into having to escort them out. "And um... pretending to be evil sort of helps him work through personal issues."
"Huh, you know I never thought pretending to be a supervillain was helpful for mental health," said Ron.
"Oh, totally," said Shego. "I mean, it's a total rush, breaking and entering... into fake evil laughter, yes!" She halted. "...I have to go."
Then she slammed the door in their face.
Today was way too much work for Shego's liking.
Working with Shego had been a lot more interesting than the usual stuff Kim had been doing.
Now, as Kim and Ron made their way back home on foot, she looked over to Ron. She'd been surprised that he'd managed to get all those robots fixed. Kim had half expecting to end up redoing it herself. But then Ron always found a way to come through in whatever she asked him to do, eventually.
"Well, Shego was really nice," said Kim.
"And really hot," said Ron. "Hey, Kim, do you think she noticed me at all?"
"I think she's a bit out of your league, Ron," said Kim.
"Yeah, I know," said Ron sadly. "So uh, where do you think they were able to get two entire sets of generators in one day? Especially for robots?"
"Well, I..." Kim halted as she saw a newsstand. Running up to it, she drew up one of the papers. Glancing to the newspaperman, she raised the paper. "Excuse me, can I look at this?"
The man nodded.
Kim read through the headlines as Ron came up behind her. "Two entire sets of portable fusion generators stolen in one day. From the same store."
"What model?" asked Ron.
"Um, the uh... the model we installed," said Kim. "Into the robots. With the mining lasers that looked a lot like... death rays...
"Oh my God, we're supervillains!"