Chapter 8

The hero learns that some people have funny ideas about things

The king brightened as I walked into the throne room the next morning, actually smiling in what seemed a genuine way as I approached him and went to one knee.

"Your majesty," I greeted him.

"Again our newest hero of the realm returns!" he exclaimed. "And seemingly better outfitted and stronger than ever. Rise, and tell me of your exploits so I may record them in the royal scrolls for all time!"

Something in his voice made me suspicious as I stood, and I looked at him. Things clicked into place. "You were actually being sarcastic the first time you asked me that, weren't you?" I asked suspiciously.

"Ah." He had the good graces to actually seem a bit embarrassed, looking away from me. "In perfect honesty, yes, yes I was. I thought you would spin some tale of heroism to try and impress me into giving you more money or something. But then you told me about the tomb, and finding the journal, and meeting with the townspeople and all that. You didn't ask for anything, and I verified your story with the owner of the tool shop so you're on the level. You really do seem serious about all this, and I regret my earlier rather flippant attitude when you came to tell me your deeds."

He didn't mention that last night, but then, I suppose there was no reason to do so. "So if I was here to ask for more money..."

"I would have to refuse you," he cheerfully informed me. "My reasons are the same, I can spare little money while the kingdom is under siege."

And if you have to buy a key every time you want to open the door… "Of course. That's not my intent anyway," I assured him. "So do you want to know what I've been up to, or..."

"I do! As you actually seem to be taking this seriously, unlike your predecessors. I would actually be interested in what you've been doing the last two days. Please, go ahead!" He brought out a writing desk, uncapped his ink, and dipped in his quill.

Is there no royal scribe? I guess it gives him something to do. Actually, shouldn't he be seeing, what are they called, claimants? Supplicants? To dispense the king's justice or something? Though with travel so limited maybe he has literally nothing better to do. Still, the last two days are mostly just killing monsters. I told the king of what I had been doing, including visiting the next nearest town and almost reaching my goal of having enough money to buy a decent sword.

"And is there no word of my daughter?" he asked wistfully.

I hesitated. "Only one rumor of note, majesty, though I hesitate to even bring it up it's so outlandish. According to one villager the rumor is she was hidden away in a cave, of all things." The other about her being taken east is hardly worth being called even that, though I suppose she could have been taken south but for what end?

"A cave? I see." He seemed to be considering the claim seriously, waving the quill back and forth a little as he stared off into space.

"But this must be nonsense, why would the Dragonlord take her and then not have her by his side? I doubt there is anyone he would trust to watch her, for a start."

"True, that would be the more logical thing to do," he agreed. "Still, there is a cave system somewhat nearby. It goes under the water, leading south. You'll find it far to the east of here, should you wish to check it out."

"With a better sword in my possession, it will be my first destination," I promised him. "It can't hurt to investigate, and no doubt I would need to go that way sooner or later anyway." Even if it's just to put that rumor to rest, at least I can say I tried.

"Indeed. Is that everything?"

"For now, yes. But I did wish to discuss something with you, majesty."

"Very well." He stoppered the ink and set the pages aside to dry. "What would you like to discuss?"

"Keys and doors," I replied. "The tool shop owner," I really must remember his name, "explained to me after finding some odd lore in Erdrick's journal about doors in his time that keys in the modern age can open any door, but are only good for one use."

"That's true," the king agreed. "Makes opening the treasury a hassle, and I have to waste solders guarding it because any fool could open it, but what about it?"

"It seems to me I might encounter doors that need to be opened on my journey. As I saw you open a door I figured there must be a person that made keys somewhere in the castle. If you don't mind me buying one or two just in case, I thought you could introduce me."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Sensible, and if you go by royal appointment perhaps you think to get a better deal, eh? I can't fault your thinking or your logic. There's no secret, so I don't mind telling you. Yes, there is a key maker here in the castle. Guard! Show our young hero to the east wing so he can visit our key maker. Tell him I sent him, see if he can get a better price as he does seem to be the one to- what is it?" We both looked at the guard who was looking like he was about to deliver bad news, or was holding in some gas.

"Sire!" The guard replied crisply, now that he was under scrutiny. "I can't sire, it was one of the things on today's agenda for later that I needed to tell you."

"He's not sick is he? That would be a disaster! Why wasn't I told immediately?" the king rose from his throne.

"It's nothing like that, sire," the guard hastened to assure him. "I'm sure he's fine."

"But you don't know?"

"Uh..." He looked to the other two guards at the door who seemed to find every interesting things at the corners of the room to study.

"Speak plainly, what's going on?"

"The door separating the two wings was accidentally locked last night," the guard informed him. "We'll need a key to open it, and as only your royal personage is allowed them-" He said this as a man trying not to openly pin blame on his monarch, but at the same time shifting blame away from himself or others because of that monarch's perhaps questionable policies in the past. It was a delicate balance, and he seemed to be practiced at it.

Wait, last night as in about the time we were discussing keys? Had I come the day before in ignorance I could have just walked the halls without issue but only when I learned about keys did some kind of obstacle come into my path? This can't be the Dragonlord's doing, even his reach can't be that long. But what other explanation do I have? Coincidence? Maybe, but it seems directed at me rather than simply a random occurrence.

The king covered his eyes with his hand. "Incompetence. Never become a king, my boy, you'll only regret it. All the problems are yours but you can't take any of the credit for their solution, because it's expected for you to have the solutions to everything. Of course I did decree that only I could buy keys, for obvious reasons, but never thought I would be locked out of my own castle in this way. Very well, I'll use one of my keys to… my keys..." He was patting the pockets of his robe. "Oh dear. Now that is a problem!"

"Majesty?" I asked.

He lifted up the cushions of his throne, feeling around the edges. Then he looked under the chair. He patted his pockets again. My hopes were sinking as each of these steps was performed. Finally he spoke again. "Nope. I used the last key I had to open the treasury for you. I didn't rush off to buy any because I figured in my own castle," he reiterated, glaring at the guard, "I wouldn't need to because he's just down the hall. Now it seems half my castle is denied me!"

"Couldn't someone with an ax just chop the door down given a bit of time?" I asked, puzzled. "It is an emergency at this point, right?" I mean aren't people now trapped in that part of the castle?

The king and the guard (the king first, the guard after seeing it was fine by the king's example) fell into peals of laughter, slapping their legs and gasping for breath. The king suddenly stopped, and the guard hastily straightened again.

"You know, if this hero thing doesn't work out, I'll hire you for my jester," the king told me. "Should this Dragonlord situation ever be resolved, anyway. Chop a door down. With an ax, like it was a tree." He threatened to laugh again while miming chopping something down with an ax but clamped down on it. "Wow. That was a good one. No, you'll have to travel to Rimildar to get some. No help for it, I'm afraid."

Really? There's no other solution but me heading to another town to buy a key for you, to unlock a door in your castle? "Wait, hasn't someone on the other side realized it? Couldn't they just get the man who sells the keys and get him to unlock the door? I'm sure it won't be long before someone over there realizes it, right?"

"You would think that," said the guard. "But the key maker has a strict policy. Someone has to buy one of his keys, he won't use them himself."

"Oh yes, very strict," the king agreed seriously. "Almost an oath really. Strange fellow, but there you have it."

"Even to save his own life? He's trapped over there!"

"A man of iron principals, is our key maker," the king assured me. "He would rather die and his skeleton decorate his chambers forever rather than take one step towards a locked door with the intent to unlock it for himself. Being able to make keys, well, that's an awesome responsibility isn't it? I think we all sleep better at night knowing the man has a policy like this."

Do we? Do we really though? "And no one on the other side currently would have the gold to purchase a key?"

"Doubtful," the guard said. "He charges a hefty fee, and with gold as scarce as it is..."

One would think we would move to another currency in that case, like silver. Or that keys would only be one or two gold, given how valuable it now is. "I see."

"Besides, none would dare to go against the edict of their king, that's me in case you forgot," the king added. "Even if they had the gold, better that they follow my orders then let it get out they bought a key of their own."

Is it? Is it really? Better to be trapped than figure, 'oh, the king will understand that in this one case we had no choice' and just buy your own darn key?

"Never fear, if you're low on gold. I'll reimburse you when you return," the king assured me. "Off you go then. If you don't know where Rimildar is one of the guards can direct you."

"Of course, majesty," I said, bowing. This is stupid. How can they be this stupid? "I would like to request one other favor, in the meantime. May I have leave to explore the rest of the castle without an escort?"

"There aren't any secret passages or anything," the king assured me, a little too hastily. I hadn't even thought of that. "Not that I've had anyone looking, or anything. But I'm sure you're not here to make off with the meager furnishings the castle has left. Very well, guard, tell the other guards the current heir of Erdrick may have free run of the castle."

Does he not know the name of the guard, does he not care to know and just calls all of his guards 'guard,' or does this man have the rather unfortunate name of 'guard?'

"At once sire," said the guard, who turned and went down the stairs.

"Thank you, sire," I told the king. I also left, leaving him to, presumably, sit staring at his other two guards and do nothing. While I did everything for him. Didn't really seem fair to me, but I guessed we all had our part to play.

I explored the rest of the castle, and yes, there was a locked door that people were shouting through. It looked like wood, I was half tempted to find an ax somewhere and just go at it, but any one of these servants could do the same. Why did they find that so amusing anyway? Is it iron or something and just disguised as wood? But why go to the trouble?"Isn't there a window or something someone could climb out of?" I asked the group around the door. "Or climb up into that part of the castle to go and get a key?"

"Windows are too small," one of them told me. "It's a castle, after all. They're just for firing arrows out of, not for squeezing through. No, they're screwed all right. Probably die unless someone can find a key somewhere."

The others agreed this was probably what would happen, not seeming all that broken up about it, despite how much they said it was such a shame. They all seemed to be of the mindset it was just inevitable, nothing could be done, and those on the other side should just accept their fate and die quietly. I, of course, was not going to let any such thing happen. There must be some other option!

"Could I slip gold under the door, and someone on that side could take it to the key maker and buy a key?"

"And go against the wishes of the king? None of us would be so rebellious!" The others agreed hastily. "Besides, it wouldn't work. Look for yourself."

I did, the door was tight on all sides. I had to hand it to whoever built the place, they had done a good job with the doors. "I guess not. Could we get a bird to take a small sack of coins though the window, or maybe just throw one through? There must be a ladder, we could get up to the arrow slit and pass some..." The people there started looking at me like I was mad, and I heard a whispered "bird?" from the back as though they were saying "arsonist" and I beat a hasty retreat. There was something wrong with the people here, there could be no doubt about that. Well, if a key they needed, then a key I would get. The place couldn't be that far away, right?

I got directions to the place, from three different people because it seemed so unlikely what they were telling me, but their stories all matched up. The town of Rimuldar was, in fact, on another continent altogether meaning it would take me weeks, if not months of travel to make it there. I would have to make it to the eastern edge of the land, go under the ocean through the swamp cave (the only cave to the east making me highly suspicious because it had been mentioned so many times already) then around a series of mountain ranges to finally reach a town that sat in the middle of a lake. There was no port, so even trying to sail there I would only get halfway before I was back to the same problem. I would have to walk the entire distance, and that town was the only one on the entire continent. Everything else had been destroyed by the Dragonlord and left to become wilderness again. There were no roads, even if I had seen a horse or a cart, there would be no benefit to having either. I didn't know the first thing about caring for a horse in the first place, and it would probably cost me more gold than I was going to spend on the sword given how much everything else cost around these parts.

Needless to say, I needed another option. The people now trapped behind the door in the castle would be dead long before I could reach this town even in the best of times, and then return. Just walking to Garinham took far longer than it normally would because of all the minions of the Dragonlord I had to stumble over and destroy. I couldn't begin to imagine how many I would run into on a journey of this length. What would I eat, to start with? Would I have to camp in the wilderness the whole trip? I headed back to Brecconary to talk it over with the tool shop owner, the man had a dragonscale armor maybe he had a spare key lying around? On the way I passed a building I hadn't given any thought to before and then pulled up short. Whipping my head back I stood there and stared. It was a small building, set against the edge of a wall, maybe 8 meters across and 5 meters deep. But most important of all it had a door.

I raced over to it, figuring I would do the only thing I could do in that situation- I pounded on it.

"Hello?" I called inside. "Is anyone there?"

I heard a surprised squeak from inside, as if someone gasped and then fell off a stool. There was some clattering around and a voice ghosted through the thick wood. "Hello?"

"Hello in there! Are you all right?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because there's a door! Look, do you have any keys? They need one up at the castle due to a… certain incident."

"I don't sell keys, I sell fairy's water, I mean fairy water. Do you want to buy fairy water? Come in then, I'm not doing business through a closed door."

"How do you do any business at all?" I shouted through after a brief pause. At this point the townsfolk who were out were looking at me quite strangely and edging away from me. "How do you go home for the night? You must have a key to open this door!"

"I really don't," they assured me. "Sorry, you'll have to come in if you want any fairy water."

"What good is it?"

"Keeps minor minions of the Dragonlord away."

Oh, that would be useful. "And you're not out here selling it why? No one can buy your product if you're going to put a locked door in their way. Keys seem to be in extremely short supply in this region."

"I did wonder why business was so slow lately," they admitted. "Nothing for it though. Nice talking to you."

"Gah! Buh!" I sputtered, as they moved off again. I had no idea what to say to that. They had locked themselves in their own shop? How was that good for business? Any number of people would want that product, provided it worked, given the risk of simply traveling between here and the castle. I would gladly buy some, just to have a bit of a respite from being attacked every few steps. But if I needed a key, that was on another continent, how was I supposed to get access? And why did they call it fairy's water first? Do I want to know what it's made of? I shook my head and headed to the tool shop. The more I stayed here the more I didn't understand this place. But what happens if I start to? This place could drive a person mad, and I have a feeling that person is me.

The tool shop owner didn't have any keys, and admitted it was a bit odd the fairy water shop had "closed" in the way it had, given the brisk business it was likely to do otherwise. Nor did he have any ideas on getting to Rimildar any faster. He had a map, and between here and there were many hills, mountains, and forests. There was no shortcut, I would have to take the long away around. And it would be a long way indeed.

"This key business though, it seemed a large part of Erdrick's quest, and it seems like it's going to be a large part of yours as well."

"So it seems," I agreed. "And you're sure they can't just be chopped down?"

"And ruin a perfectly good door?" He seemed shocked. "Perish the thought. No, no, it'll never work. You have to use a key."

"If you say so. But they'll be dead by the time I get back!"

"There is every possibility of that. But that is really the king's fault, for having a door put there in the first place. And you say they didn't seem all that concerned?"

"They did not."

"Curious. Well, what else can you do? Better buy some torches if you're going to explore the swamp cave. I have a fine selection if you would care to look?"

He's a merchant all right, I shouldn't let myself forget it. "I'll get some, but I'm not leaving right this second. Another day won't make a difference. I have to earn enough gold for a better sword, especially if I'm undertaking a long journey."I would rather strike first and win a battle in a single blow than buy better armor and try slugging it out with whatever I came across on the road.

"Humm, undertaking. Poor choice of words there, but I take your meaning. I don't disagree. You have to do what you think is right, just as Erdrick did. And believe me, from what I've learned from the journal you're not the only one to run into ridiculous situations. I'll go over it with you tonight, hopefully I can get through the last of it and you can have the copy to take with you to read."

"Fair enough. I'll see you tonight." I go once more to the slaughter.