Chapter 17

The hero meets the princess

I sat in my room that night, joined by Clarissa who had changed back into her… Work clothes? Maid "costume?" Official uniform? I had no idea what to think about the cute, cat eared woman sitting across the table from me at this point. Who was she really? The fierce fighter who got over her fear of the dragon and took a few turns when I needed a break, or the maid assigned to me by the king? Or neither of those things? Does she need to be one thing or the other? Can't she just be herself, doing what she needs to do in order to survive the world she finds herself in? She's Clarissa first, the maid thing is just her job, and the fighting thing is just her trying to do her part against the Dragonlord. But who is she, herself? She had brought dinner from the kitchens and sat down to eat with me without even asking. Probably not typical maid etiquette but then, it seemed maids around here weren't typical so what did I know? She certainly didn't have a typical maid relationship with me and I wasn't going to demand she leave and eat elsewhere; I was somewhat glad of her company to be honest, but also wishing she had left me alone after my embarrassment of the afternoon with her watching. I wouldn't send her away just because of that.

"Don't look so down," she told me. "I think you improved a little bit there, in the end."

"It's kind of you to say," I almost didn't growl, thinking about how spectacularly I was tossed around by Kethrinax. The problem with dragons was their formidable defenses, starting with their shape. They had a long neck, so getting past all those teeth and horns to strike at their bodies meant you had to be extremely quick. But if you could manage it, there was the tail, which they could use like we would use a hand. It was just as strong as the rest of them, so if you didn't watch yourself while you were trying to hack at the body the tail would come at you from the side and wallop you. Of course one could strike at the neck directly, hoping to sever the head, but those backwards facing horns meant they could simply turn their heads and pull back a bit and you had two pointy bones to deal with. Plus their claws, plus the fact she told me the Dragonlord was a winged dragon, so he could use his wings in combat too, shielding his body or knocking a person off balance. So he was going to be even harder to deal with, if I could even reach him being twice as tall. I could just see it now, me smacking the legs of the Dragonlord while he looked down at me in amusement and then fried me with magic, or his fire breath, or magically augmented fire breath.

"I mean it," she went on. "You think I could throw a knife with anything resembling accuracy for weeks once we started training? Because I couldn't. I had to 'level up' my knife throwing skill." She put her hand over her mouth to hide a smile.

"If only I could level up my leveling up skill," I grumped.

"Well, at the moment I only see you leveling up your being a stick in the mud skill."

I had to chuckle at that. "Okay, okay, you got me," I told her. She is trying to raise my spirits, maybe I shouldn't be so down on myself. "There's just so much riding on me, I have to get this fight right, the first time." I suppose that's what the practice is for. Better to fail now and learn than just rush the castle and get killed in the first five steps.

"On us, hero. On us. Or did you forget I'm going to be at your side now?"

"Not at all." At least until I leave for the Dragonlord's castle. How can I, in good conscience, take you into a place like that? I mean I suppose Daisy followed Loto to the bitter end, but she had been a mercenary for years according to her. How long has Clarissa been training? Of course, the same could be said for me so maybe I'm just being a big hypocrite. Maybe if I had seen "warrior Clarissa" first instead of "maid Clarissa" I would more think of her as the warrior first and this being just a part she was playing. But I don't. I see her as the "helpless maid" first and her decked out in armor and carrying weapons as the part she's playing. I'm a terrible person, aren't I?

We talked about other things as we ate, she really was good company, and had seen a lot of crazy things in her time as a maid. After we finished and she cleared up said goodnight. "I have a lot of things to tell my fellow maids," she told me. "And I have my own exercises to perform before tomorrow. So I'll see you then."

"See you then," I replied, wondering what I was going to do with myself as the sun went down. I'm supposed to be the hero of the world, I can't work less hard than a maid, can I?

She left and I decided to go into town, have my sword sharpened by the blacksmith and talk to the tool shop owner about the journal and the Zora fellow mentioned within. I made it there without issue, the path being well known to me now. People nodded to me as they passed, so at least that was better than a gathering mob like I had seen not that long ago. I stopped into the first shop and told the man what I wanted, getting the sword out and setting it on the counter. The blacksmith looked at me like I had gone nuts, swords didn't need to be sharpened, he told me. "You must be thinking of something else."

"I've spent the day (or at least part of it) smashing this thing into dragon scales, skeleton bones, gooey slimes, whatever the heck ghosts are made of, and more. Are you telling me it's held an edge though all that?"

"My friend, you could throw a tomato in the air, whip that blade up, and slice it as cleanly as anything you've ever seen even after a hundred days of doing what you've done today."

I shuddered. Please, by all the gods, I couldn't take a hundred days of that. I don't want to have to do it tomorrow, though I know I must. Either let me win or kill me, but please don't drag it out that long, I beg you. "Could you do it?"

"Do what?"

"The whole tomato thing you just said. Could you hit a tomato with a sword after you threw it? Sounds pretty hard to me."

"I just used that as an example, I wasn't suggesting you try it. Still, go get a tomato from the market and set it down on a table and slice it if you really want to make sure."

"Okay. If you say it's still just as sharp," and it seems to be now that I look at it, which is odd. What is this sword made of anyway? "I'll take your word for it and bother you no more tonight."

"Glad to hear it's being put to good use though. Come back when you need better armor or a bigger shield. And tell everyone who asks where you get your equipment from!"

"I will." I'm the hero of the world, and this is my favorite store in town.

The tool shop owner invited me in and said that, yes, Zoma was known to those who researched history. "He's not as well known as Baramos was, because Baramos went around terrorizing people and got his name out there. The only ones who heard the name Zoma were, like it said in the journal, the king and Loto's group who went and killed him. Those deeds were recorded for those that want to look into it, but by then everyone knew Baramos was dead and was too busy getting drunk or smashed to care. They celebrated thinking the danger was over, poor fools. But it worked out in the end." He shook his head with a chuckle. "Why do you ask?"

"We were concerned the journal might be fake, or at least parts of it faked, in order to make it harder for me to defeat the Dragonlord."

"You think he found it and changed it? Why not just destroy it?"

"Isn't it better from his perspective that I follow bad advice than no advice at all? If I'm flailing around there's at least a 50% chance I'll do something right, but if I follow bad advice it's 0%."

"Maybe," he allowed. "I mean it all seems to line up fairly well with other accounts-"

"Which have all been passed down for hundreds of years?" I interrupted.

"What's your point?"

"So perhaps a young dragon, hundreds of years ago, got it into his head to become the lord of all dragons someday. This dragon, deciding not to repeat the mistakes made by Baramos, who he noticed just got killed by a hero, looked into that history. Finding it full of useful things heroes should do he came up with some changes, waited until Loto died, changed his journal, and made sure the two accounts matched up by appearing as a storyteller that spun tales of Loto's adventures. When he felt he was powerful enough he showed his true intent and here we are today. I come along, find the fake journal, and follow its terrible advice to a bad end!"

"That would be an insane amount of planning!"

"Dragons know they are going to live a long time. Wouldn't you start planning things out if you knew you were going to be alive in three hundred years? And still be in your prime? Heck, be as powerful as you might ever be?!"

"Uh, maybe?"

After all, one hero was spawned to travel the world looking for the means to defeat it. Why wouldn't the same thing happen when I, as the lord of all dragons, made my presence known? Even if he gave up that dream later, or died before he could get to that point, there would be no harm done planning for it. At that point it would just be a cruel joke played on us, what would a dragon care about that? No, I think it's plausible. "I'll ask Kethrinax tomorrow, get her opinion."

"You're bringing me, right? I have so many new questions for her!"

"We go there to train, but if you think you can make it back here on your own, you're welcome to come. I'm not really an escort service."

"I understand. Maybe you can ask her to come nearer the town that night so I don't have to go as far?"

"I'll ask her."

And so I headed back, turned in for the night, and was awoken by a knock on my door the next morning. Clarissa was there, bright eyed, and started setting up the table. I noticed she was once again setting the table for two and wondered why she didn't prefer to eat with her fellow maids. Did they 'kick her out' for being assigned to me? Or do they just have such different schedules and people to serve in the castle they don't eat together at all? I felt a little bad, clearly she had gotten up early, washed, dressed, went down to the kitchens, loaded up a tray, and brought it back up here. Meanwhile what had I done that morning? Slept. Does that seem fair to you? I had washed in the other chamber, so I had only heard her setting the table, and when I seemed presentable I came out to sit down.

"I have two volunteers to go with us today," she announced, picking up a teapot that was leaking steam out the spout. She poured the tea and looked up at me.

"To learn to fight dragons?" I asked.

"I doubt they're ready for that," she clarified. "No, they're going to stick nearby though, while we practice, in case they get into trouble. But I thought they might fight some minions and raise their 'levels' just like I did."

"A party of four is somewhat traditional," I mused, rubbing my chin. All the while thinking great, even more people that can get killed and it'll be my fault. Wonderful.

"Exactly what I thought!" she exclaimed happily, setting the teapot down.

Wait what?

"That's why I didn't press for more, I thought four seemed to be the best number of people to have."

Oh, the party of four thing. The tool shop owner wanted to come too, but I guess he's out. I'll have to remember to ask her if she could stand being nearer the town so he could do his interview. "You think they'll be able to?"

"I don't see why not. I clearly did. I'm stronger and faster than I was yesterday, I'm sure of it. I want to go further as well, maybe in the afternoon we can head out and find some stronger monsters to kill again."

"Sure, whatever you want."

"Great! Well, sit down, I may be your maid for the moment but I'm not going to spoon feed you!" She laughed.

After we finished she took the tray away and went to change. When she headed to the gate she was trailed by two similarly dressed woman she introduced as Alita, and Rose. Alita had short black hair, large green eyes, and seemed to favor a slightly curved sword instead of the twin daggers. I briefly wondered how much maids made to afford such a thing being made but maybe the maids polled their resources to have made enough for the whole group. Rose on the other hand had swept back blond hair that fell below her shoulders, blue eyes, and had a bow across one shoulder. A quiver of arrows rode at her hip, and she also had a dagger strapped to one leg. Probably in case she ran out of arrows.

"Nice to meet you," I said to them.

"So this is our hero and savior?" Alita wondered, looking me up and down and then walking around me like I was a horse she was thinking about buying at the market. When was the last time I saw a horse? "I suppose he'll do."

"Alita, be nice," Rose chided. "It's nice to meet you too. Clarissa said your name is..." and she said my name.

"That's me. And you're both going to be okay leaving the castle and fighting monsters? They're going to be all over once we step outside."

"Clarissa filled us in," Alita told me. "If what she says about 'levels' is true, and learning magic and all that, we're totally prepared!"

"I brought extra herbs and such," Rose told me in a whisper, leaning over to me. "Keep an eye on her, she's kind of… exuberant?"

"Let's go!" she was saying, dragging Clarissa by the hand. "Get out of this stuffy castle at last and actually do something! Dragonlord, here we come!"

Oh yeah, so getting killed.

So the four of us rotated who got to perform the final blow on any monsters we ran across on the way to see Kethrinax, and made good time to the clearing where she was waiting. The two maids were properly excited to speak to a real dragon, and hung out at the edges of the place while we continued our practice. They were pleased to learn about the gold they could make doing this, and as we were sitting there resting remarked that this probably paid better than being a maid, and they wished they had known of it earlier.

"But it requires an evil overlord to steal the kingdom's gold and create wondering monsters," Clarissa protested. "At least as a maid you're not relying on the suffering of others to make your living."

"Good thing we're getting in on the action now then," Alita remarked. "Before the hero here destroys them all and gets all that gold for himself."

"He's so selfish," Rose agreed with a giggle. "Trying to keep people safe and all that. Now we know the real reason he does it. The gold."

"For sure."

Not exactly, ladies.

We headed back into town for lunch and couldn't help but overhear that the princess had awoken, so after a quick bite we headed back to the castle to see for ourselves. The guards let us though at once, it seemed she had been asking about whoever saved her, and I dropped to one knee by her bed.

"Majesty," I greeted her. She still looked terrible, with limp hair, sunken face, and thin arms. But she was propped up with pillows and smiled as I was announced, her eyes were clear so it didn't seem like there would be any long lasting effects of her ordeal. The remains of her latest meal hadn't been cleared away yet, and it seemed she had an appetite so that was probably also a good sign. The healer was in the room with me, and Clarissa came too, but our two newest party members the healer made wait outside.

"So you're the hero that rescued me?" she asked, voice a bit horse. "Please, rise. Sit by my side."

"I had a hand in it," I admitted, not wanting to say I had exactly rescued her. I had secured her release, was more accurate. "Princess, please, if you can tell me, do you know why the Dragonlord put you where you were? It makes no sense and it's been bugging all of us since we found you."

She giggled and covered her mouth. "I annoyed him."

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked after a moment.

"I annoyed him," she repeated. "Off key singing, and annoying questions, and insentient babbling, and weeping, and completely unreasonable demands just all the time. I was quite a brat, if I do say so myself." She looked quite pleased as she made this announcement.

"And this was some kind of plan?"

"That's right. I was hoping to be put somewhere outside his direct view. Make it easier to escape. Little did I know he would shove me into that cave. And then just leave me down there. I guess he figured I wasn't all that valuable to him after all."

"You must have made quite the impression on him," I suggested.

"For sure. He gave up thoughts of actually marrying me by the second day, the second can you believe it? I was hoping for the first but I really hit my stride the second day, so it's not too bad."

"Yes, quite the achievement." She annoyed him so much he just threw her away? Interesting technique, but I suppose it was all she had.

"It worked out in the end, if you found me, which I'm told you did. For that, I thank you. Tell me, how may I reward you, hero?"

Ah, now we come to it. Finally! "I desire but one thing, majesty. I wish the secret knowledge-"

"Of what's under my skirt? You pervert!" she interrupted. "But you did save me, so I suppose any reasonable request..."

"Uh, no, majesty. The knowledge that has been passed through your line-"

"You want our secret family chili recipe?"

How much of what she did was an act, I find myself wondering. I pressed on. "The location of the token as made by Erdrick, proving you are his heir."

"I'm not his heir," she protested. "I come from a line of kings, not heroes!"

"That you do," I agreed. "No, I wish the token for myself, but I am told you know where it is to be found."

"Ah!" She smiled, realizing what I wanted. "You want to find it and claim his bloodline as your own."

She gets it! "I do. I have been told I am related to him, but many people require more substantial proof before they will aid me."

"Those jerks!"

"Agreed, highness."

She seemed to consider. "The request is not without merit, I admit. And I can help to guide you to the token, that much is also true. I can't point to it on a map, you understand, but I do know how far away from it someone is. That can help you locate it, for sure."

"Then you will help me find it?" I asked, hope rising within me.

"Of course, if you need it for your quest, let it finally be found. Maybe then people will stop asking me about it, honestly, the thing has been such a pain in my behind. Why he left the coordinates with us and not the object itself… Anyway. Before I can give you any direct help though you must answer me one simple question."

"Anything!"

"Do you love me?"

"Er..." I stared at her, but she seemed quite serious. "I'm not sure of the relevance..."

"It's a simple yes or no. Do you love me?"

"Princess, this is our first meeting, do you not remember? We are strangers, I don't even know your name, how can I claim to love you?"

"But you must. Do you love me?"

I looked over to Clarissa who looked as baffled as I felt, and turned back to the princess. "Do you mean in a general sense, like I love the kingdom and the royalty that rule over it?"

"No, I mean me. Personally. Do you love me?"

"I've only just met you. I admire your plan for escaping, of course. But I cannot honestly claim love for you, personal love, after so brief a meeting."

"But you must. Do you love me?"

At this point I looked around the room for a lifeline and the woman looking after her came to my side. "Why don't you get some rest, my dear?" she asked. "I'll have some nice tarts sent up from the kitchens, would you like that?"

"But he has to love me!" she protested.

"I'm sure he does dear. We all do. Let's let her get some rest now, maybe in a few days she'll feel more like herself."

"He has to say yes, don't you see? It's the only way! Do you love me? Say you do! Say that you love me!"

"It was an honor meeting you, majesty," I told her, giving her a bow and filing out with the rest.

"But you must!" she called out as the door closed. "Do you love me?"

I breathed a sigh of relief as I looked at Clarissa, who was wide eyed. The other two had stayed in the hall and looked confused, and the healer just looked concerned.

"I'm sorry about that," she told us. "Clearly there's been some mental stress from all this that may take months to heal properly."

"What was that all about?" I asked.

"Consider what she's gone through," the healer suggested. "Being taken from her family, the life she knew. Her mother, dead, possibly even killed right in front of her by the minions of the Dragonlord. No one came for her, she lost hope. The Dragonlord tossed her aside for some reason. Maybe she had some plan to annoy him, maybe she was just being herself, I don't know. It's possibly true that's just something she told herself, over and over, after being abandoned. That it was all part of her plan, and not because she was undesirable. Clearly she wants someone to hold onto, the king as I understand it has never been all that affectionate with her. She wants to know she is loved, it's understandable."

"Should I just tell her yes?"

She shook her head. "Lying to her won't help her situation any. You are strangers, she would pick up on that sooner or later, and then demand to know why you lied. I'm sorry. Whatever you needed to know from her may have to wait until she's not obsessed with being loved and can think straight again."

"Wait, what's this?" Alita asked. "She's holding something hostage until you tell her you're in love with her or something? That's crap!"

"Lita..." Rose tried to shush her, grabbing her arm and looking haunted.

"No, it's not right and you know it. I should go in there and give her a piece of my mind-"

"Please, do not disturb my patient any further today," the healer said with finality. "She is not well, and we are going to have to take it slowly so she can become well. Besides, you should remember your station, maid. Yes, I recognize you despite that ridiculous getup you're in. Its is not for you to lecture the princess on anything, despite how you are dressed at the moment. Why not have the kitchens send up some tarts, that is your actual job, is it not?"

"Ridiculous-" she started to say, but the healer primly turned and went back into the room. "Whatever. It's your call, hero, do what you want."

"I'm sorry about whatever it was you were talking about, but you'll just have to go without it for now, I suppose," Rose said. "It isn't that big a deal, right?"

"I suppose you're right," I told her sadly. No fancy armor. Great. Now what am I supposed to do?