Chapter 18

The hero gets a makeover

The four of us sat in a large room in the castle, clearly used by the king when he wanted to meet foreign dignitaries or whatnot. The chairs were large and plush, the table a fine wood polished to a mirror shine, and tapestries hung from the walls to cover the bare stone. We were fairly sure it wasn't going to be needed in the next hour, so Clarissa suggested we sit down and talk about our next move.

"So do you really need this armor?" Rose asked. I had told them everything, how the tool shop owner had been helping me and had offered me a full suit of armor if I could prove I was in the line of Erdrick.

"Yeah, we don't get any fancy armor," Alita complained. "Why should you?"

"Are you really planning on marching into the castle of the Dragonlord, fighting our way through the place, and battling him to the death?" I asked her.

"Uh, yes? What else are we training for if not that?" she answered, clearly insulted I would even ask. The others nodded.

"Knowing he's a dragon twice as big as Kethrinax? Not to mention he's also an accomplished wizard because of all the time he's been alive studying magic."

"Let's turn it around then," Alita suggested. "Are you planning on marching into his chamber alone? Wearing the scales of his subjects? What if you had a helmet made of the skull of one of the king's subjects? What would he do?"

"Order me killed, I guess?"

"Exactly. He would be enraged. You think some silly armor would protect you at that point? Given the size and magic as you've just pointed out."

"Well what do you suggest?" I asked shortly. "This," I banged on the armor I was wearing, "isn't going to save me. And unless one of you has seen the Light Armor in some dusty back room in this castle I'm going to assume it's long gone. Clearly it wasn't with the journal, so after hundreds of years it could be anywhere. Am I supposed to scour every corner of the world to find it? If it has held together this long anyway, which I doubt."

"I don't like that idea anyway," Rose told us quietly.

"What idea?" I asked, rubbing my head.

"Relying on some magical artifact from his time. I mean, can't we solve our own problems with what we know today? Why do we need some smelly old armor he wore?"

"Well said!" Alita told her, slamming the table with her palm. She smiled and looked away, mumbling thanks. "She's right," she said to us. "We have a problem, let's solve it with our own strength, our own magic, our own ideas. We can always have better armor made, okay maybe not magical armor like his was in the past but we know how to get money now, lots of it. We can have some made."

"It's true," Clarissa agreed. "We don't have to rush off this second. We've got time to get outfitted. Not only that we can discuss things with Kethrinax, maybe dragons have some weakness they don't like talking about, but that she'll tell us considering who we're facing."

"Lightning?" Rose asked.

"Hard to control that, but sure," she agreed. "We have some time, for now let's just raise our levels and keep practicing. Maybe talk to the tool shop owner, look at old books to see if dragons have been killed in the past and how they managed it."

"It sounds okay to me," I agreed. "But if you saw that armor, you would know why I wanted it so much. Even if I took it off before entering the Dragonlord's chamber, the protection it would offer making our way through the castle could be invaluable."

"So you just have to figure out how to find a small piece of metal instead of a large one," Alita told me. "At least the armor you couldn't hide under a rock."

"But at least we can guess it does still exist, the princess implied she did have some way of locating it. She wouldn't have if she knew it was gone."

"We could always have, you know, a fake made?" Rose suggested. "No one knows what it looks like, do they?"

I shook my head. "I wondered about that, after I first talked to the king and found out others had claimed the title. Asked myself why there were not a dozen fake tokens in the world already. But no, I won't be the one to start down that road. I won't do any of this quest dishonestly. I will either find the token, as is my destiny as an ancestor of Loto, or somehow make do without."And if I am not related to him, and it is not my destiny to save the world, so be it. But I will die trying with a pure heart before I stoop to trickery to get the armor."But even apart from the armor, the token may open other doors, get us more help. It's a symbol of hope more than anything. Nobody knows me, they can't trust me. But the token is part of a greater story."

"I don't completely disagree," Alita reluctantly admitted. "And I have to say, my estimation of you has gone up a little. You're sticking to your principles, despite your need for the token. I wonder if I would do the same..."

"Of course you would!" Rose insisted. Alita just looked troubled.

"What I don't understand is why make that information so vulnerable," Clarissa mused. "Telling only one person? And what if the line of kings didn't have daughters? Only sons? Or what if the queen died giving birth to her first daughter without passing it down? The token would be lost forever. You should never have information known to only one person ever, it's too easily lost. Write it down and hide it, is that so hard?"

"You say that sitting in a castle that, until recently, sported a locked door that prevented anyone from buying any keys to unlock doors. Redundancy is a four letter word here at Tantegel Castle."

The others laughed. "He has a point," Alita said.

"What if it wasn't in just one place?" I blurted, inspiration coming to me in a flash. "What if it is written down somewhere?"

"Wait, you don't think..." Clarissa began.

"I do," I told her, nodding. "I think I have an army of maids of my side, and as you can go anywhere in the castle without being questioned, you have your next mission. Search the quarters of the princess and the queen looking for any scrap of knowledge about the token. It must be written down. What if a queen forgot it? Or it's a series of numbers that could be easily mis-remembered? No, the more I think about it, the more I feel that somewhere in this castle is a clue. Loto wrote things down, his journal is evidence of that. I'm guessing he wrote this down too. Even some coded message would be more than we have now. You have to find it!"

"Not just us, hero, you're going to help too," Alita told me, a smile coming to her face I didn't like the look of one bit.

I put my hands up. "I'm not a maid. I'm pretty sure if I'm caught snooping around, even as the person that brought the princess back, it wouldn't go well for me. Peeking into the princess's wardrobe? The king would throw me out, he wouldn't care what I was looking for."

"But what if you looked like one? Then you could be right by our side."

"Er, what? I don't like that glint in your-"

"Wait are you suggesting we..." Clarissa asked, with an expression on her face that might have been horror or excitement, it has hard to tell.

"Yes I am," Alita told her, smiling broadly.

"Oh goody!" Rose said, clapping her hands together. "This is going to be fun!"

"Fun?" I echoed, horrified. "What are you talking about, fun? We don't have time for this, besides I would never pass for a… For a..."

"Believe me, no one looks at maids twice," Alita told me. "As long as you have the clothes and perhaps a wig, just keep your head down and it'll be fine."

"There is no way I am-"

And so seemingly only moments later, but possibly hours later, I found myself dressed as a maid. The three had taken an almost devilish delight in getting every single detail perfect. Every. Single. Detail. I protested, many times in fact, that in the time it was taking them to make me look like a maid they could have searched the rooms and been back by now. But they would hear none of it. My clothes came off, measurements were taken, you get the idea. The only real benefit I got out of it is they changed back into their maid clothes at the same time so I at least got to see more of them than I ever expected. (Alita browbeat the others into it, saying fair was fair after all) I would have protested more strongly, but the fact was I needed these ladies and if they wanted to have a bit of fun, who was I to deny them? Even if it is at my expense. I am, after all, allowing them to risk their lives outside these walls. Maybe allowing is the wrong word, they can go where they like. And they have maid I mean made it clear they're following me even into the heart of the Dragonlord's castle. Though I of course plan to leave them behind should I attack the place, they don't know that. They could die, and they must realize that at least on some level. Horribly, at the hands of the Dragonlord or his minions. This might be the last bit of fun they ever have. Can I really deny them that? They went a bit overboard, in my opinion, finally gushing over how great I looked when they were done and having me twirl around and pose and such. Then came the moment of truth, stepping out into the hall and following them. They were chatting away as we headed through the halls of the castle like nothing was amiss. I had to admit they had a point, the other people wandering around didn't seem to notice, and we easily reached the rooms of the princess and went inside.

The room was fit for royalty, at least in terms of size if not grandeur, as many shelves and displays stood empty. "Much of what should be here has been sold," Clarissa told me sadly. "To satisfy the ever increasing demands of the Dragonlord for gold. The king called it a temporary loan, to be reversed once the kingdom had money again so he could buy his stuff back, but who knows how many of the treasures of the castle will be returned when this is all over."

"So we'll make new treasures," Alita told her. "Come on, start looking around!"

Oh now there's a big rush. I see how it is.

We searched the rooms, it seemed the books hadn't been sold as many of them were still on shelves. We left them for last, looking for loose bricks or other hiding places one might have put a few slips of paper showing where the token was. We searched her desk, and any papers we found in the drawers. We searched her closets and wardrobes, checking for false backs and boxes of trinkets collected while younger. We looked over, under, and into everything in the room, then finally turned to the books. Each of us took a stack of them, shaking them out for any loose paper and briefly looking them over to see if they were relevant. Many were just books most likely used in her studies, though some were storybooks. One book we found, which was under the bookshelf and shoved in the back caused Rose to blush furiously, exclaim "oh my!" and quickly put it back again before the others could grab it. But we did have one piece of good luck, as a slip of paper fell out of one book as Clarissa shook it. She looked it over and handed it to me, asking "What do you make of this?"

I looked it over. It seemed to be a short poem, and the book it came out of was not about poetry, making it fairly out of place. The poem read:

To bring forth

the light that makes

evil rue the darkness that they

caused to ensue, once again must a hero

make tremble the land as an aged

one watches the hourglass

sand.

Two paths lay

before the proof

of the birth the first is a maze

through the mountains' great girth. The second

is shorter but more full of woe as there

you will find no crops that can grow.

... ... ... ...World is broken

... ... ... ...find my token.

... ... ... ...At the end

... ... ... ...of the world

... ... ...Loto

"Well that last part doesn't even rhyme," Alita complained. "But it is signed Loto, so..."

"Is this the clue we needed?" Clarissa asked. "And why is it laid out so funny?"

"It's a poem," Rose told her. "It's as much a painting with words as a landscape is a painting with, uh, paint."

"It's supposed to look like that?"

"Many poems are enjoyed more by looking at them and not just hearing them read," she explained.

"Oh!" teased Alita. "Has someone been spending their hard earned money on books of poetry?"

"There's nothing wrong with it," she quietly protested. "Besides, that was before everything, you know..."

The ladies went silent. They did know. We all did. Alita took Rose in her arms. "I know," she said softly. "Those days will return, we'll make sure of it."

"Yes we will," she replied fiercely.

"Not until we figure this out," Clarissa told them. "Let's keep looking, just in case, but this is probably the best we're going to get."

And it was the best we got, having completed our search of the princess' rooms we moved on to the king's rooms. I got a bit more nervous at this but there were no guards here so the others just breezed right in. I wondered if that was wise, just letting anyone have free access to the king's chambers. On the one hand it freed up a few guards, and there were precious few of them left in the castle. But on the other that meant every night they would have to do a sweep of the room to make sure someone wasn't hiding in the wardrobe or something to knife the king in his sleep. I mean he had some looking for wine, right? They could have been guarding his rooms instead. But as I looked around it seemed to be the same story here, most possessions were gone leaving the place rather stark. There were few places a person could hide, so the verification the king was alone probably didn't take long. We searched the place as we had done before, but came up empty.

"We better be about our duties," Rose told them, passing a window and noting the sun was getting low. "We can puzzle out the meaning of the poem tomorrow, maybe."

"Do you..." and here I paused thinking to myself what are you doing man? It's over, why would you say things like "want some help?" You said it. Why? Why did you say this crazy thing? Brain, what is happening up there?

The three stared at me. Apparently this wasn't something they had expected either.

"Help?" Clarissa asked.

"I mean, it's just..." Why did I offer to help them? This is crazy! "You spent all that time making me look like this…" And you can take it off now. Isn't that what you wanted? "It would be a shame to not…" Not what, you fool? You idiot! Stop talking! "get the full experience." You didn't stop as I requested! What is wrong with you?

"You want to experience being a maid?" Alita asked, somewhat suspiciously.

"I want to help," I explained, wondering if that was indeed the only reason. "It doesn't matter if it's saving the world or just making your jobs a little easier. There is work to be done. Let me help you do it. What am I going to be doing otherwise? Besides it would be weird seeing you dusting or whatever, or Clarissa serving me after being given an honorary maid position, if I'm just sitting around."

"He likes it!" she decided, breaking into a large grin. "Being a maid! It's the only reason! He wants to walk around the castle like this some more!"

"I don't know, I think he really does just want to help," Rose told her. "The dress is largely irrelevant at this point. He probably doesn't even think about it anymore, like us the first time we wore the armor. After a while it just became normal."

"No one looked at him twice, just like we said," Clarissa agreed. "Maybe he wants to see how long he can keep up the ruse."

"I just want to help!" I protested. "Do you want me to or not?"

Alita and Rose looked at other other, and Alita shoved Clarissa so she stumbled into my arms. She was laughing. "Go on you two. Do what she does and you'll be fine. Have fun!"

The other two linked arms and headed away down the corridor, giggling and whispering. I helped Clarissa straighten up.

"Well she didn't have to shove me," she grumbled. "But thanks for catching me. You really want to do this?"

"If I can help, it's better than me sitting around in my room. Getting too late to go back to see Kethrinax. She'll wonder what happened to us, we were only supposed to be gone for lunch."

"Okay, Miss Hero, let's make you into the best maid you can possibly be!"

Several hours later we finally got a chance to eat, after clearing away the king's dishes and cleaning up after everyone that ate in the main room. I followed Clarissa's lead as best I could, and it wasn't hard though I didn't exactly know all the maid etiquette I should have. She coached me a bit before the meal started and reminded me not to speak, or I would give it away at once. I got through it, and she took me through her other duties for the evening. Lighting fires, getting out clean linens, picking up clothes to be taken to the laundry, that sort of thing. I mostly carried things, she would take them into the rooms if there was someone there. It was dark by the time she took me by the hand and said we were done, leading me back to her room.

"And you practice weapons on top of all that?" I asked her. "How?"

"It hasn't been easy," she admitted, lighting her lamp and turning to face me. "But like you saw, anyone in a maid outfit is mostly ignored, unless they do something to call attention to themselves. We cover for each other, giving a few people a chance to practice but then taking extra work on the next day so we can trade off. It's been slow, but what else could we do?"

"I understand," I told her. "I don't think they understand what you go through. I didn't."

She reached up and took off my kitty ears. Yes, I had worn them, the king's orders were the king's orders, after all. "Glad you do now. Let's get you out of that outfit, unless you intend to sleep in it?"

"Uh, no, best take it off," I agreed.

"Turn around so I can get your buttons."

We got it off, and she handed me my clothes so I started to get dressed again. I guess I'm not staying the night. Wait, why did I think that? Just because you let her dress you up, did you think she would bring you to her bed that very day? Is that the reason you offered to help? Don't be absurd.

"Thanks for putting up with us today," she told me as I pulled my shirt on. "I hope it wasn't too bad for you."

"I'm not saying I would want to wear that every day," I told her. "But it was fine. I got to blend in for the search, and we did find what we were looking for, I hope. And you enjoyed it, as did the others. Don't say you didn't." That made it a little worth it. I guess.

"Oh no," she replied with mock seriousness. "Watching you squirm at the beginning was simply delightful. I wouldn't have traded it. Still, when someone tells your story I'm sure they'll spend a lot of time on the day you disguised yourself as a maid to get the clue that led to the token."

"Who is going to tell anyone? Not you, I hope!"

"Oh?" she asked innocently. "You're not going to put the full details into your own journal, to be found hundreds of years from now by the next hero?"

"I don't think so, no."

"What a pity," she said sadly, but she was trying to hide a smile. "At least think about it, okay? I think it could be a valuable lesson for them." She put a finger to her chin. "Gee, I hope Alita doesn't go spreading it around. She's a terrible gossip you know."

"Do you think she would?" I asked, worried.

"No, I'm sure it's fine," she decided. "See you tomorrow." She opened the door for me.

"Have a good night, Clarissa," I told her, stepping back into the hall.

"Bye!"