She couldn't breathe.

She couldn't bloody breathe.

God save the queen- I'm going to die.

I'm going to die, seated alone, at the Iris Knight institute while all my friends sit in lines and snack on Lord I'm going to die

Air, so plentiful just moments ago, felt more severely rationed than rubber in the war. Suddenly the shaking began.

Fear of scuffing the floors only added to the waves of panic rolling over her body, mind, and heart.

Damn these freshly mopped floors and damn these squeaky tables and damn the scuff marks I'm making.

Good Lord help me, I'm going to die. At this point- I'd rather death. Oh dear-

"Pant for me. That's right, allow yourself to gasp. There's no one here, I closed the door when I came in. No one can see you right now." Her internal dialogue was interrupted by the kind voice of Nurse Turner,

"That's right, that's okay. You're safe. You seem to be hyperventilating, it's normal in this situation. I'm right here with you."

Thank God.

The panting continued as Nurse Turner looked on.

"I've been kneeling next to you, I'm going to pull this chair closer and sit with you. It might squeak, I'm really sorry."

The chair slid rather smoothly, all things considered, over the tile and came to a stop at the table legs.

"Nurse, I- I'm so sorry!" The cry was punctuated by tears and gasps for air.

"You don't need to apologize. Don't talk until you feel able. I'm going to ask you a few questions, they're all yes or no. Just nod for me, okay?"

Okay.

"Do you want me here with you?"

Nod

"Has this happened before?

Shake

"Ah, well this must feel a little extra scary than. It will all be alright, I promise you. Do you want to try breathing with me?"

Shrug

"That's perfectly fine. I'll explain it, just keep panting for me in the meanwhile. Allow yourself to take shallow breaths- it's scary right now but that will pass. When you feel able, start inhaling just a little deeper and holding that breath for just a second more. Keep that rhythm. When you feel ready, challenge yourself to breathe just a smidge deeper and hold for a second more. I'll do it with you, you won't do this alone."

She continued panting, but the gasps seemed slightly less labored.

Nurse Turner's gentle voice broke the gasp punctuated silence, "Do you want to try breathing with me? You'll lead, you'll control the speed. Just nod for me."

Nod

Am I breathing? I'm- I'm not sure. Someone's here with me, though. Thank. God.

Nurse Turner quietly counted under her breath, just quiet enough for the girl to know they were breathing together. But as the girl's breathing slowed, the chair started squeaking and shifting as tremors overtook her body. Nurse Turner, in all her years of experience, had no way to stop the tremors. No advice to give, no practice or attempt to calm the poor girl. Nurse Turner spied the crucifix worn by the girl and thanked her lucky stars for something more to say. She leaned closer to the girl and recited a collect Nurse Turner knew inside and out.

"Eternal God, You abide though all things change.

We are anxious and fearful, and we turn our hearts to You, looking to You and leaning on Your strength.

It is written: Blessed is the one whose strength is in You.

Bless us now with faith and courage. Help us to feel that You are with us, steadying and sustaining us with the assurance that we are loved.

Be with us and bring us hope, that in the days to come, our aspirations may be fulfilled for our good and the good of those we love who depend on us.

Banish our fears with the sense that you are always present, to uphold and sustain us, as it is written: Heave no fear, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with the power of My righteousness. Amen."

With her shaking starting to lessen, the girl found her voice. Shocked at the desperation in her tone, she pleaded for Nurse Turner to stay by her side.