A/N: This song was inspired by "If Momma was Married" from Gypsy. Enjoy!
Ember: If Mother was married
Our castle would be
As quiet as quiet can be
Just Mother, some horses, three dragons
And Ros, our minions, and Ticktock, and Wilkins,
And me...
If Mother was married…
Ros: If Mama was married
I'd jump in the air
And give my best rubies to you
You'd get all those hot irons
out of your hair
And once and for all
You'd get Mama out too.
If Mama was married…
Both: Mummy
Get out your white dress
Ember: You've done it before
Ros: Without much success!
Both: Mummy, Godspeed and God bless
We're not keeping score
What's one more or less?
Oh, Mummy, say "yes"
And waltz down the aisle
While you may
Ember: I know Ros would support you
She'd even escort you...
Ros: And Ember would give you away!
Both: Oh, Mummy, get married today!
Ros: If Mama wed Ticktock,
There wouldn't be anymore,
"Girls, nobody loves me, you're all I have left in the world!
I wish Stayne were here!"
Ember: "I'm not loved or feared!"
Ros: We love you, Mama!
Ember: Screw Stayne!
Both: Mummy, please take our advice,
You broke Ticktock's heart,
Ros: And he was so nice!
Both: Mummy, we'll buy you the rice
If only this once
You wouldn't think twice!
It could be so nice
If Mummy got Ticktock to stay…
Ember: But Mother burns bridges...
Ros: And people betray her...
Both: She always gets carried away
Oh Mummy…
Oh Mummy…
Oh Mummy…
Get married today!