The Lost one (Part III)

After the day Erik revealed his past, he had made an effort to grow closer to him, and prove that he had changed. It was extremely important to Gus, he needed to prove it, to Erik, and to himself.

And it seemed to have worked. Erik seemed to be in better spirits after that day. They grew closer, more trusting of each other. It was a time of great artistic growth for both of them; Gus had composed his first piece of music with the help of Erik, and it was accepted to be played at the opera, to their collective delight. Gus also became closer to his opera colleague Merryl, to whom he offered to teach French, since the girl had French ancestry from her mother. She took him up on his offer, and in exchange she helped him to develop his cello skills. It was the first real close friend he had made since Erik, and he cherished her deeply. That whole period of his life was much cherished by Gus overall, short as it were.

With the passing years, it seemed as though Christine was always in those French papers, and Erik surely did not fail to notice that. It seemed that every time it happened, all the progress he had made with Erik vanished for a few days or even weeks; he spent less time at the opera, had less time to spend with Gus, and when they did, he was always visibly distraught, angrier. That also had an effect on the boy, especially noticed by Merryl, who was always concerned with him. Unfortunately, he could never tell her much at all about Erik, in respect to his privacy. Nonetheless, those were always the times they grew closer to one another. Merryl would always try her best to cheer him up, sharing stories about her life, going out with him to novelty attractions such as those new moving picture shows they had at a fair which started appearing seasonally in town.

They shared a love for these kinds of attractions, in fact, Gus discovered he had much in common with the girl. She was only about three years older than him; they were both orphans inspired by their mothers to become musicians, and they both had particular interests in the piano and the cello. Unfortunately, Merryl never had the opportunity to learn the piano. She only learned the cello because it was her mother's instrument, who used to play at the opera until she got sick years ago. It was a degenerative disease. It stopped her from being able to play, forcing her to find other jobs. Eventually she became unable to do even those, and spent months bedridden, accumulating debt. Merryl had applied to the opera the same month her mother had died, which made Gus feel even worse now for what he had done to the girl years prior.

"Don't worry about that, Gus. Even if I had gotten the job, I wouldn't have been able to quit those debts in time anyways. Besides, I might have never gotten to know you as well as I do now, so I'm glad things turned out the way they did." That was what she said in an attempt to comfort him. Coupled with her tender smile, it did in fact work, it worked on ways Gus wasn't even able to describe.

After that day, he got permission to teach her the piano within the opera house, which delighted the girl, and even Erik, who would sometimes observe the two and their progress, no doubt proud of his pupil. Unfortunately, those days were few and far between, as he was far too focused on his work.

During that time, Erik's ambitions were increasing. Along with an epic opera he was composing, he wanted to expand that opera house into a whole theater company, with ties to several opera houses along the country, to where contracted artists could tour with their talents and compositions. It would be a massive undertaking, but one which he had been planning for quite some time. Erik had lived a considerably frugal life during those years, which coupled with his amazing abilities as a composer, allowed him to amass large amounts of money to partially finance the project, and a great deal of trust from the opera manager, who approved of it. Welcoming some time for himself, Gus accepted Erik's offer to travel through several states in search of opera houses willing to take them up on their offer, as well as hotels or inns to accommodate the traveling artists.

He spent the better part of the next couple of years in those travels, getting to know several states and cities, being introduced to many different kinds of music along the way. It was an enriching experience for him, but he always felt like he was missing something. He missed Merryl much more than he thought he would. It was a strange feeling he tried to shake as best as he could, but it always came back.

Gus was, in general, successful on his travels, proving to be a shrewd businessman himself. The trip wasn't without its hitches though. Especially in the southern states, he faced much resistance and disrespect from the opera managers. In one instance he was even kicked out of one of those establishments, which "did not serve his kind there". If anything, these experiences, the disdainful looks some passersby gave him as he walked formally clad with expensive clothes, gave him a bit more of an understanding of Erik's general hatred for people. He soon learned that there was no use in reporting any of that to the police, so walking way was all he could do.

In spite of all that, he managed to sign contracts with opera houses in key southern states such as Florida and North Carolina, as well as some northern states, most important of which being New York, the planned apotheosis of Erik's tours. With that, his ambitions would be sufficiently appeased, and Gus could return home after endless months.

Arriving at his home town at the afternoon, he welcomed the scents and sights of a small town with muddy roads and wooden buildings after spending so much time in a huge city. He went straight to the opera hoping to find Merryl there, which he did. It was a warm welcome he received from all in the opera, but from her especially. She rushed to his embrace as he walked into the hall, catching him somewhat by surprise.

When most of the commotion from his return was settled, Merryl told him that Erik wanted to see him as soon as he arrived, at his home. It was only natural that he would want to talk to Gus about his travels, but he was still very happy to hear that. It was harder to say goodbye to her than he thought, as there was much he wanted to tell her about, but he departed to Erik's home before nightfall. Going through that doorstep was still difficult for him even after all this time, but thankfully the scene there was very different this time. Erik himself welcomed him into his home, wearing the black mask he had fashioned, as he often did.

Gus told him all about his voyages, and Erik finally revealed the full extent of his project to him.

-This will be my magnum opus, kid – Said Erik, handing him a bunch of sheets of paper containing an opera intitled "Fearless Broken Hearts". – I have even designed artwork for it, it is to be reproduced in banners, posters and leaflets.

Erik then handed him a sample of what was to be a leaflet. It was quite big and intricately detailed. The artwork contained a heart with one eye on one side shedding a tear and a broken piece where the other eye would have been. It was a simple but quite intricate painting.

-So, do you plan on touring this opera through the country? – Asked Gus.

-No, that would be far too expensive for now. I plan on touring my other pieces as well as classic works on a smaller scale with contracted artists, culminating on a massive finale at New York's Metropolitan Opera House, featuring this piece.

-This… this is unbelievable, Erik. It is simply amazing. You did all of this by yourself? – Said the boy, his voice filled with excitement and awe.

Erik however, did not seem to share of his excitement. He had a faint smile on his face, but he was visibly distraught, staring at the ground.

-There is one more thing, kid. – Erik said, hesitating.

-Well, what is it?

-I want Christine to be our first contract.

Those words sank in Gus like a stone. He was speechless as his smile faded away from his lips.

-She has been deservedly garnering fame throughout Europe, and would be an amazing asset to our company. – Erik continued.

-An asset? Is that really why you thought of her of all people?

-Listen boy. Never throughout all of these years has the thought of Christine left my mind. That thought was what kept me alive during my trip in that god forsaken boat, and kept me from giving up until I met you, kid.

-Yet she was always the reason you fell right back into your worst self, Erik!

-Kid, you haven't seen half of the worst of me. – He interjected angrily. – Besides, she had no fault in anything. All of my problems are of my own making, all of my demons are made out of my own soul.

-But what good has wallowing in that past done to you, Erik?

-It has inspired me to compose, to atone, to live. A part of me never gave up the hope to one day make it up for Christine, meet her again, perhaps. I owe this to her. Her last memory of me is that of a monster, who kidnapped and kept her apart from her husband. I don't want that; I can't have that.

-I thought it was enough what you had done here, what you had done for me.

-Gus… Ever since I arrived at this continent, you have been the only part of my life that has been consistently good for me, and that means the world to me. That is why I wanted you to understand me. No matter what good I may have done here, it was never enough to rid my mind of the thought of her, of my guilt. Christine is alive, and I have the opportunity to do something good for her. Think of it as a parting gift to her, an attempt to not be perceived as a monster to someone I deeply care about. I think this kind of love is something you are already beginning to understand.

-What do you mean?

-You know what I mean kid, I've seen the way you look at the girl Merryl. And I've seen the way she looks at you back, the way she talks about you.

The boy blushed, attempting to blabber some counter argument to no avail. He had never thought about it. Merryl? That was nonsense. Yet he couldn't deny it to Erik. The more he thought about it, he found it harder to even deny it to himself. That thought petrified him, and almost eclipsed his concern about Erik and what he had just told him. That is until Erik looked him in the eyes and spoke again:

-Listen, I need your help, Gus. From what I read, she has been performing internationally without her stupid dung pile of a husband, so she might come alone. I want you to be her escort and translator, even though I suspect she's picked up a little English from her travels. No matter what your feelings toward her or her husband might be, I trust you to be cordial and attentive. You are the only person I trust enough to do this, kid.

-And when would this be? – The boy said after standing silent for a while.

-Hopefully in a few months. I still need to arrange the details with the manager. I needed to have you on board before doing so. Please, Gus. I need this.

Silence struck once again, as Gus's eyes remained locked on Erik's pleading gaze, his mask likely to be hiding recent scars.

-I will do it. – The boy said before heading straight to the door.

-Gus! – Erik interjected. Gus paused before looking back at him. – Thank you.

That was the last he heard before leaving the apartment, bothered, contemplative. It was already nighttime when he went to the orphanage, greeted by the nuns, as Father McKenzie was already asleep at that time. He had missed the old man and his wisdom, and certainly could use some at that time, but it wasn't worth it to awaken such a frail man just for Gus to ramble about himself. Instead, he spent the night awake ranting to himself, about Erik, Christine, the undertaking he had just agreed to, but above all, about Merryl.

Months came and went, and he could neither shake his feelings for the girl nor tell her about it. Just being close to her felt like an extra burden for him as he tried his best to keep composure. The day came in which Erik finally personally asked Gus to post Christine's letter of invitation to the tours.

As he arrived at the post office, a thought popped in his head: What if he didn't post the letter? Erik could certainly find another actress, he might even be convinced to let go of his past, focus on his current life for once, the life in which he is not a murderous specter of lust, in which he is present in Gus' life. It would be so easy to just throw of that letter with the immaculately intricate wax seal… As easy as it was years ago when he threw away Merryl's letter…

The priest's words rang louder against his consciousness, and he decided that he could not make the same mistake again. The letter was mailed as intended, and an answer was received from Christine via a telegram not many days later, to Erik's delight. The contracts were mailed over, and the whole process was completed sooner than later.