Once out of the base Jay resumed to breathe deeply.
He finally he was out of that environment. When he'd left him years ago, he'd sworn he didn't want to have anything to do with it.
As the two were heading for the car back to the district, the detective was distant. His mind wandered, he thought back to scenes, moments, images in which Logby, now a captain, was with them in Afghanistan.
And then there was the letter. What was he supposed to do? Read it alone? Talk about it with the team given the case? Or better to inform Voight by opening it with him and maybe with Hailey so as not to be alone?
Meanwhile, the colleague brought him back to reality by distracting him from her thoughts.
- Hey, how you doing? - she asked
- All right - the detective said with a sigh.
- Are you sure? You seem distracted, distant - she urged him
- Yes, really. I couldn't wait to get out of the base. Now I feel much better. - Jay said, lying even if only partially.
In fact, the detective felt much better, thanks to the pill that his brother had given him and above all thanks to the fact that the much-held meeting was finally over.
Getting into the car he thought about what had happened in those days.
He wasn't the type to be seen as weak and by that time he had a breakdown.
He decided that from now on he would show himself strong and show everyone that he was fine. In case of need he would go and talk to him, his brother.
He was the only one who understood him without him speaking and the only one Jay could be vulnerable to.
The journey to the district was silent.
Jay actually didn't feel very well, and as time went on he grew paler and paler.
He felt grounded, he had eaten little and nothing in those days and now he was paying the consequences.
He had noticed that the colleague from time to time while she was driving was watching him out of the corner of his eye.
- Don't worry, I'm fine. I just need something to cheer me up. I feel a little grounded. - Jay anticipated.
While he was talking he could be seen that he was doing it with difficulty, he seemed tired, he was sweating. His hair was more and more tousled, clinging to his forehead.
Arriving in the district Hailey got out of the car and asked Sergeant Platt again for the blood pressure device.
She came back to Jay, she measured it for him and she realized it was too short.
The detective in addition to having eaten little and nothing, in those days he had also vomited several times.
Before returning, then, Upton went to the bar and brought a glass of water and salt to Jay who soon recovered.
The detective went to the locker room to settle down a bit and then joined Hailey and the other colleagues