Author's note: after writing crossovers for The Big Bang Theory and other fandoms (True Blood and The Walking Dead) this is my first 'regular' TBBT story. Before I continue about the why of this fanfic here's a short commercial: if you need a Dutch language editor: send me a PM! Now about the story: I stopped following TBBT after season eight, occasionally learning about new episodes, but when the show had come to an end, I read a summary of the final season. I learned that Raj, who always longed for romantic love, hadn't found a partner. I rather liked that, for being alone is fine. Penny was hesitant about having children and ended up pregnant (women can change their minds about motherhood, but story-wise Bernadette already went through the same), and before that she longed to be an actress and she gave up on that. It is true that dreams may alter and that people can be happy when walking a different path in life than the one they'd first planned on taking, but where most other characters got their hearts' desire such as family, love, a beautiful wife, a marriage that includes lovemaking and a Nobel prize why couldn't Penny? So in a universe far away and very nearby there lived a woman by the name of…

Act one

'Penny isn't it?'

That's what I just told you, Penny thought, looking at her customer. 'How may I help you?' she said as perkily as she could manage. It had been a hard day, starting with Sheldon waking her at exactly 11 p.m. for some nonsense, followed by Leonard asking her to tell his girlfriend Stephanie that she, Penny, posed no threat to their relationship. She'd had to serve an arrogant eight year old birthday boy, his annoying friends and haughty mother without getting a tip and now she was pretty sure that her present customer was going to complain. He did: she'd forgotten the side-dish and the soda he'd ordered.

'Sorry. I'll get it for you. A salad wasn't it?'

It wasn't. Penny dragged herself to the kitchen to place the full order. Her boss Ricardo happened to be there as well and Penny pretended not to notice the glance he exchanged with Shane, the kitchen help.

'Here you are sir,' she said as she placed a bowl of pasta and a drink on the man's table. She couldn't bring herself to apologize again and turned to leave when she was stopped by a remark.

'When I was fifteen I had a job at a farm. Picking strawberries wasn't what I liked to do but I got to be good at it.'

Penny supressed a sigh, understanding the message underneath. She pretended to be deaf to it: 'Would you like a strawberry desert?'

'No. I'm trying to tell you that if you have a job, you have to make the most of it.'

'Yeah. I'm not fifteen.' When you're fifteen, Penny thought, there is a world ahead called "when I've grown up" and no one pictures herself to serve people for the sheer satisfaction of it.

The man, who wore a suit, wiped his mouth with a paper napkin before taking a sip of his lemonade. 'I've seen fifteen year olds who were far better waitresses than you. You've chosen the wrong "career".'

'This isn't a "career". It's a way to pay the bills.'

'No point in not trying. But I guess you stopped doing that at school right?'

The man continued to eat. Penny stared at him, feeling ready to do two things: hide herself in a corner to cry or punch her customer. Seeing another customer gesture at her she anticipated more trouble ahead, but the distraction made her blink her tears back, unfold her fist and walk over.

After her shift she couldn't bear to go to her empty apartment so she entered a pub where she sat down in a corner and ordered a drink.

'Hello lass.'

Lost in thought Penny looked up and frowned when she saw who'd come to her table.

'You've got no right to "lass" me.'

'You're right. I'm sorry. May I?'

The man gestured at the seat opposite Penny's and took her silence for approval. The waitress brought Penny's drink. 'Here's your zingy blackberry lemonade miss. Could I get you something sir?'

'No,' Penny said. The waitress eyed them and gave Penny a small nod. It made Penny feel safe somehow and she wondered whether she'd ever made people feel that way too.

'I was in a bad mood,' the man said when the waitress had walked away. 'I took it out on you and I'm glad to find you here. My apologies for what I said.'

The man looked uncomfortable enough for Penny to believe he was sincere. 'I didn't finish school,' Penny heard herself say.

'Lots of people didn't and they're still happy.'

Penny took a sip of her drink. 'Thanks.'

'What for?'

'Not saying "still successful".'

The man shrugged again. 'Success… If that makes people happy that's fine. Would you like to be successful Penny? I'm John by the way.'

Penny nodded in acknowledgement of the introduction. She wasn't in the mood for a cheerful "Hi John!".

'Don't want to vent your feelings about what that grumpy guy said huh?'

Not really no, was Penny's first thought. Still she wanted to get rid of her down mood and her friends, with their nerdy jobs and sense of belonging, would agree with John, Sheldon especially.

'I think I'd be happy if I were successful. And before you scold me again -'

'I won't.'

'I'd like to be successful as an actress.'

Hundreds of women in LA would say the same. Thousands even. John didn't grin or smirk because of a dream that suddenly seemed childish to Penny. He just nodded. 'Landed anything?'

Penny took another sip of her lemonade.

'Sensible that, if you're driving.'

'So now you're trying to make me feel smart?'

'Ha!' John, caught, cried out.

Penny grinned. She'd been pleased with herself for not having ordered something alcoholic and the compliment, however transparent, made her feel even better about it. 'Would you like to try one too?'

John inclined his head and Penny felt like a lady. She made eye-contact with the waitress and gestured at her drink, raising one finger. She received a smile and a nod. Taking a deep breath, she faced John. 'I didn't. Land anything.' That embarrassing scene doesn't count. 'I'm too mid-west and Scandinavian it seems and so are heaps of other would-be actresses. My friends hang out with a sort of famous actor occasionally and I met him but it doesn't seem right to ask him for help. He'd just be embarrassed and annoyed.'

John didn't respond to this but instead asked Penny if she spoke a Scandinavian language. On her negative reply he said: 'Take a course. Just a "I want to visit Sweden and be able to order in a restaurant or call the police" sort of course. Take a similar German course too. You could pass for German. Or Russian.'

'I'd be the sexually free tourist or the girlfriend of the villain's right hand man,' Penny said, half fantasizing, half mockingly.

'Once you're in because you can say "Kuten tack mine herr" without an accent, you might make it to be the villain.'

I'm not the only one with a vivid imagination, Penny thought and she changed the topic by asking John whether he lived in Pasadena. He said he was from North Carolina and he proved to be a truck-driver, which made her jaw drop. 'In a suit?'

'Without a tie. I love to drive long distances but I don't care much for the truckers' world. I feel comfortable in a suit.'

'Good for you to choose your own clothes,' Penny said. They talked about uniforms and that led to a conversation about Star Trek and Star Wars. Penny told him about her friends and how she'd come to appreciate science-fiction because of them. 'This is illogical,' she thought out loud.

'What is?'

'Us, sitting here. If I were to see this in a film, much as I'd like it that the woman and the man got along now, I wouldn't find it believable.'

'But here we are. We get along. I'll drink to that,' he said and he raised his glass.

Penny moaned. 'I didn't even notice her bringing it. Damn. I hate it when people ignore me.'

She searched the room to find the waitress and when she'd made eye-contact she mouthed 'Thank you'.

'Being a waitress allows you to observe people's expressions and gestures right? I guess you use some of those during auditions? And there's the chance to manipulate customers. A man like me, cranky and rude: how to make me behave? It's a good place to work on your acting technique.'

In the week following her conversation with John Penny strived to be the sort of waitress the woman in the pub had been and she recalled what John had said about the learning possibilities of her job. Ricardo nodded at her approvingly when she'd mastered a difficult customer by being kind to him. When she had dinner with the guys that evening it was Ricardo's nod that made her respond to Howard's remark about his new German descended neighbour who used to teach at high school.

'He speaks German?'

Chewing his food Howard nodded.

'You think he'd give me classes?'

'I beg your pardon,' Sheldon said. 'You inquiring after classes is extraordinary Penny! In case you want to learn German, I too speak the language.'

Penny was sure that her well-meaning friend was capable of belittling her in other languages than English. Excited and a little anxious all the same, she accepted Howard's offer to ask his neighbour.

OoO

Six months into learning German Penny had an audition for the part of an Austrian tourist who stayed in a hotel where someone had been killed. It was a tiny part: the character would briefly be interviewed by a police-officer. The casting director's assistant noticed that she didn't stick to her lines. Penny pointed out what the character would have said in German and that it made sense, provided she only had high-school knowledge of English, to use a bit of German grammar. The assistant asked her to read the lines as they were written down, accent and all. Penny did so and didn't get a call to show up again. Still, she was pleased with what she'd done and said: to her own ears she sounded more mature. She'd noticed a shift before and thought it had to do with the formal German language as well as with the fact that her teacher's English lacked words such as "gonna" and "dunno". Sheldon had praised her improved grammar and her tips had gone up, though that had more to do with her improved manners at work.

Several weeks after the audition she served a familiar face.

'Hello John! How nice to see you again. How are you?'

'Hello Penny. I'm fine and I'd say so are you!'

Penny felt flattered by John's approval. She took his order and happily accepted his invitation for an after work drink.

'You've changed,' John said after they seated themselves in an Irish pub.

'I'm more content than I used to be.'

'You were a good hostess at the Cheesecake Factory.'

'Thank you. It's better than I thought it was. I'm glad you were such an annoying customer back then.'

'Ha! I'm glad it worked out this way for you.'

They talked about John's present gig and after that he casually inquired after Penny's acting.

'I took your advice and got German lessons and I just started Russian classes.'

'At a community college?'

Penny shook her head. 'I get private lessons. My German teacher is a retired biology teacher and my friend Howard speaks Russian. I used my knowledge of German during an audition for a small part in a police-series but that led to nothing.'

'You're not disappointed?'

Penny shook her head. 'I liked myself during the audition. Do you realize that if this were a film, you'd secretly be a guardian angel?'

To Penny's surprise John didn't laugh at that. 'You did this Penny. You took classes, you changed your view on work. You're your own guardian.'

'Hi! How may I help you?' the waiter asked.

'Hello. A zingy blackberry lemonade please,' Penny and John said simultaneously. It made them both smile.

'My German teacher, Eric, is Howard's neighbour. I'm pretty sure that Howard sensed that after one lesson I was about to give up, and he invited me and Eric over to have dinner at his place after classes. His mother's a great cook.' Penny described a typical Wolowitz meal and with a slight blush told John that she'd enjoyed herself so much that first evening that she just couldn't stop her pre-dinner classes.

'If you're right about Howard, he's a good friend.'

'Yes he is. He used to be creepy toward me and I used to be bitchy in return, but we've left that behind us. We spend a lot of time together: apart from teaching me Russian he helps me rehearse my lines. I joined an amateur theatre company.'

'Great! When will you perform? What play is it?'

'We're now doing "Pride and Prejudice". We'll be on stage in two months' time, we've only just started.'

'Could I have seen a poster of that production in a shop window?'

'Of a comic book store?' At John's nod Penny continued: 'Howard's friend Stuart runs it and he allowed me to hang it there: I told him the nerds who visit his shop would find single women in the theatre.' John grinned at that. 'He's now selling graphic novels made after Austen's books.'

John was sorry that he wasn't around to see Penny perform, but after opening night he checked the internet for reviews by critics:

"Just like in Players of Pasadena's previous production the stand-out in the cast was Penelope Drottning, whose Lydia Bennet was a vivacious flirt. The grand Lady Catherine with her piercing stare and her haughty demeanour was also played by Drottning, who, unlike the other players, didn't take her cues from the BBC series of 1995."

"Roger Kirkman as Mr Collins and Penelope Drottning, who played Lydia as well as Lady Catherine de Bourgh were the best performers. The director had done better to have him play Mr Darcy and make her Elizabeth Bennet."

'Good for you Penny,' John whispered. The Players of Pasadena produced four plays a year and their next production was an adaptation of "Vanity Fair". John read about it in a motel in Alabama.

"The director transferred many wonderful scenes from the novel into lines spoken by a story-teller dressed in contemporary clothes, who appeared on stage so often that the players barely had the opportunity to breathe life into their characters. Even PoP's veteran player Roger Kirkman was at a loss playing Joseph Sedley. Only Penelope Drottning (who can soon be seen in ABC's production of "Hamlet") managed to make the most of a severely cut part. Her Becky Sharp deserves better than a ruined play."

During a lunch break in Georgia John found a review of Penny's first Shakespearean performance:

"Osei Younge's Hamlet stood out in the comical parts and though by no means an intellectual, his prince was warm-hearted. A standout in the cast was David Hashimoto as the first player: he brought a quiet dignity to the part and also showed the anxiety the players must feel after their ruined performance. The second standout was Penelope Drottning who stepped in two weeks before opening night to play Rosencrantz as well as the first gravedigger. Her (male) Rosencrantz was keen to assist the king, yet fond of the prince and struggling with these conflicting interests. As a (female) gravedigger her comical timing proved to be very good."

OoO

With a smiling Eric and Howard watching the scene Deborah Wolowitz hugged Penny, who felt smothered and loved. 'I'm so happy for you!' the older woman exclaimed.

'Ma, you'll break her spine,' Howard gently warned.

Debby, who'd ceased to be Mrs Wolowitz to her son's friend many months ago, let go of her.

'It's only a pilot by an unknown production company,' Penny said, but she couldn't stop smiling all the same.

'Tell me all about it,' Debby entreated. Penny gladly obliged: 'Months ago I auditioned for a part and I never heard from them again but the casting agent of that production asked me to audition for the part of a German exchange police officer in a new series. That was yesterday and today I got in and we'll shoot a pilot next week!'

'Wonderful!'

It was wonderful and exciting but once on the set Penny felt that the pilot was handled without care and conviction. During the three days she was needed she gave it her best and hoped for the best. Afterwards she worked double shifts in the Cheesecake Factory and between that, various sports, courses and rehearsals for an Agatha Christie play Penny found time to go shopping with Howard when he needed a suit for a cousin's wedding.

'Sheldon told me,' Penny said as she waited for Howard to get changed, 'that Leonard and Stephanie will be at the wedding also.'

'Yes, she's a friend of the bride,' Howard replied from the fitting room.

'Who will be your plus one?' Penny asked as she compared ties on a rack.

'If it wasn't for the fact that you have a rehearsal that evening, I'd ask you.'

Howard sounded casual, with a hint of anxiety. Penny thought of how supportive he'd been and how fond she'd become of him. She selected a tie. 'I think the director might like to give quality time to the other players. Anne isn't in every scene.'

Hearing a curtain being moved aside Penny turned to watch her friend. 'What day is the wed- Howard!'

Howard shyly stood by as Penny admired his appearance.

'Turn around.'

Howard obliged, making a curtsey when facing Penny again. It made her laugh.