13/04/2065
Everyone has bad dreams, memories they rather forget, fears and emotions, right? So why does a bad dream cause me to blow up in peoples faces. Say irreversibly disgusting,horrible,vile things to the one you are terrified about losing. Just a few hours ago I did exactly that, got scared, blew up in kayo's face and said some vile things ALMOST PUNCHED HER and then as a punishment got suspended of all duties for awhile but if it was up to me my punishment would be alot more . how could i be so stupid, saying those things i am the one who is as bad as the hood. Field commander of IR, eldest son of jeff tracy ,pilot of TB1 and biggest idiot of the world
Let's start at the beginning the night before
I just got off one of my solo missions, the ones wich john begrudgingly gave me the others dont know about they are my destressors and training sessions in a way like nurses go on rotation to learn and help patience , well didn't go to plan when a young child died. Died in my arms, asking for her mum. They are never meant to go wrong! They are the jobs too big for local services but not really needing the birds'but alas it happened and now i'm sat on my sofa staring into space the mission on repeat in my head people screaming as the tree fell. Little girl…. Oh, the little girl. Tears start to slip down my face and before I know it my body is wracked with sobs.
The reporters still going on and on about kayo. It is not her fault. I just wish they would just shut up! Pushing through the reporters I made it back to one. Almost in tears, I flew home. No…..no…..no….. it's not her, its not her…. All I could think about is kayo in my arms instead of the little girl.
I got home and just sat there, her Cries replaying in my mind. The thought of it being kayo was torcherus when she came in I couldn't handle it and screamed at her. I said the opposite to the truth. I messed up but all my pent up sorrow and worry get streamed out as anger.
Well…….. you know the rest. So day 234 since the stupid therepist made me start this. Scott tracy over and out.
A/N I'm really stuck for ideas if anyone wants to help :)