The Black Chrysalis Journals

by AaMcClelly

In the vast majority of cases, there is a distinct wall between HiveWings and their SilkWing slaves, one that does not encourage empathy and is rarely crossed. However, one HiveWing plans to shake up the status quo, and try to pave the way to a world where his friends can be on open, even ground as him. Naturally though, his journey will be anything but straightforward.

1. Chapter 1: A SilkWing's Journal

Author's Note: Alright, so I wrote this shortly after reading "The Hive Queen," so forgive me if there are any lore inconsistencies. This was originally going to be a standalone, and some might have seen this story as "A SilkWing's Journal." Well, I decided to add another chapter or so; we'll just have to see how far it goes. In any case, I hope y'all enjoy reading it, and I look forward to your reviews and critique. This is rated T for blood, depression, and self inflicted injury.

I am Viceroy. I am the head servant of the house, Red Brush. I have been their servant for over twenty years, and it has been an interesting occupation to put it lightly. The family has always been in constant turmoil, especially since Mistress Vespa passed away, which has been the greatest tragedy the family has ever dealt with.

I still remember the magic that one used to bring to the house. Most of the time there were at least two sides for everything in the family, from ethics and justice to food and decorations. To be blunt, that has not changed – it has gotten worse in fact. But if there was one thing that everyone could agree on and back up, it would be our love for Mistress Vespa. Nobody was as sweet or playfully sarcastic as she was. Nobody had the audacity to treat SilkWings and HiveWings as equals. Nobody could love as deeply as she did and share it as freely as she did. Well, I guess there are a few others like her. Her son is becoming more and more like his mother, and at the same time still growing into his own dragon. Alderfly can be very kind, but his sarcasm and irony are like a razor. He believes in equality and equity like she did, but he fights for it like a savage backed in a corner as opposed to using delicate and fancy persuasion. He can love as deeply as his mother, but he chooses who is worthy of that love.

I remember Mistress Vespa's passing all too well. At first when she was sick, she lay at home because we thought she had a condition that could be cured with simple medicines. When her health did not improve though, the doctors took a much closer look and said she had something nasty in her lungs. The entire household was almost as religious as my father after that. Everyone was praying and begging to Clearsight for Mistress Vespa's recovery. I even caught Master Hornet in his office whispering a prayer, and it continued for at least a minute until he noticed I was there. I know I was terrified for her life, for she was the one that convinced me that some HiveWings are redeemable.

Mistress Vespa would call me by my name with a voice that said I was her equal. She did not do this in public, because she would probably be punished by the Queen, but she would do it whenever and wherever in the house. It would drive Master Hornet crazy, but he never could get her to stop doing it, and eventually he gave up. She would ask me how my day and family were, and remembered the things I said. She bought my children birthday presents, made sure my wife could go to the doctor for her arthritis, and would always make sure to save me a few dried plums after parties. I used to think she was Clearsight in a new body because of all the love she gave to us.

So, when we knew she was going to die, we all wept and keened for her. It was on the night of her passing that the problems between Master Hornet and Alderfly became almost permanent. To be blunt, Master Hornet is a very petty dragon, and always competed with his son for Mistress Vespa's love, even though he received more than was proper, in my opinion. He rarely tried his tricks in front of Mistress Vespa because she had too sharp an eye for injustice, but he would always try something that got Alderfly out of the room or late for a gathering. It was frustrating to watch, but what Master Hornet did on the night of Mistress Vespa's passing was evil.

Before her condition became so horrible, Alderfly could go to the hospital and visit her. But the two days she was at her worst and we knew she was going to die soon, Master Hornet forbade Alderfly from seeing Mistress Vespa. His reason for this was that his son was too young to see someone he loved in so much pain. If it had been anyone else it could have been seen as misguided protection, but I know my master too well. I know that night was painful for him, and that pain brought out his savagery and greed. That is why Master Hornet and Alderfly do not eat together unless they must entertain guests.

I remember those months right after she died. That time was horrible because the entire house was dark and quiet, and there was a great divide between masters and servants. Master Hornet was more snappish and treated us like mindless drones, and Alderfly became downright mean. He had always been a cheery and respectful dragonet, even to me and the other servants, but after that night he treated any SilkWing he passed like dirt. He was always ready to shout at us, to give us punishments at the splash of a raindrop, and as a whole became something Mistress Vespa would be horrified by. The greatest offense was when he started bullying my children. They did not see each other often, but when they did he tormented them and always had them coming to me or their mother crying.

I grew to hate Alderfly. The sweet little dragonet I had known for three years had become a little brat I wanted to grab by the tail and use to beat rugs. I used to plot ways to make him get hurt or humiliated. Since he had hurt my children, I had no qualms with figuring out whatever was necessary to defend them. Today I am rather ashamed of some of my thoughts, for I see now that they were almost as petty as Master Hornet's. I realize now that the masters of the house were not the only ones driven to savagery to escape pain.

I remember the afternoon when Alderfly changed. It was during the raining season and everyone but Master Hornet was cooped up in the Hive. He was at Bloodworm Hive for business, which made all of us thankful. Since there was only one brat in the house, it was easier for me and the other servants to avoid Alderfly because there were more rooms to escape to with no risk of running into Master Hornet. Essentially there was no risk of jumping from the frying pan into the fire. It was quiet, and almost peaceful, though everyone was still mourning to a degree. I discovered none of us at that time were suffering half as much as Alderfly though.

I was in the storage room looking for dried reeds. My shift was close to an end, and I thought I would take a few things from the house instead of flying all the way to the market. I planned to replace what I took, though I still felt guilty. I think Clearsight put that strange laziness over me, because if anyone else went to the storage room I don't know if Alderfly would be here today. I had entered quietly, for that is how servants must move, and I was not there for long before I heard someone crying. I thought it was one of the younger servants mourning for Mistress Vespa, so I decided to give them privacy, but before I left I heard a yelp. I was very confused, and went looking for the dragon.

I did not expect to see Alderfly in something like the corner of a storage room. I expected even less to see him there with a knife, slicing his wrist. It was not a very sharp knife, so the cuts were shallow. But seeing him soaked in his own tears and cutting into his own arm was too much for me, and I gasped. He looked up at me, and had a face like any of my children would have when they were caught doing something bad. We stared at one another for what felt like a long time. I stepped forward and took the knife away, and he let me do it with no resistance or complaint. I set it on a shelf, and when the metal touched the wood it was like pulling a lever on him, because he immediately began to sob again. I did not have the heart to leave him, because I suddenly remembered that this used to be the sweet young dragonet who adored his mother. I realized this was an angry dragonet that had lost his mother and been barred from saying goodbye to her by his own father.

I think that the spirit of Mistress Vespa gave me the strength to look passed Alderfly's recent behavior. I wrapped him up in my wings like he was one of my children, and he leaned into me like I was the father he should have had. He cried for a long time, and when he was stable enough to speak I asked him. "Why are you hurting yourself?"

He dug his claws into the floor and anger burst forward in his eyes, and he said. "I hate everything! I hate Dad, this house, everyone at school, everything! I miss her so much, it's not fair! I just… I just don't want to feel it anymore."

He started to cry again, and I let him. I wanted to help him, but I needed to make sure I used the right words. Once I felt confident enough, I told him. "I know everything is terrible right now. We all miss your mother and are frustrated with the world, to put it lightly. But there is one thing I know for certain: your mother would not want you to hurt yourself. She would want you to look for help, because she would know you are strong enough to move passed all this." I held him by the shoulders, and he looked up at me. I could tell by his eyes that my words were intimidating, that the idea that he would have to tackle all that pain brought a sense of dread. But I looked at him with as firm an expression as I could – I noticed then that I had shed a tear or two as well – and said. "I know you can do it. It will not be easy, but I beg of you, Master Alderfly, to at least try your best for the sake of your mother and her spirit."

Alderfly looked away from me, his tears still falling here and there. He looked to be thinking hard, but then he said. "I don't know what to do."

I let the words fade away, and told him. "I will help you."

He was quiet again. Then he looked up at me with puffy wet eyes and said. "I don't want to be alone."

I understood this dragonet did not need to be alone right now, but I still had obligations at my home that needed tending. I was in a dilemma. I could have brought Alderfly home and he could eat with my family and me, but bringing home my children's bully did not feel like a good idea. I had not forgotten Alderfly's most recent behavior, and I cannot say I trusted him to not go back to all that once his tears dried. I took time to debate with myself by finding medical supplies for Alderfly's wounds. He had cut himself twice before I had gotten to him. By the time his wrist and forearm were properly treated, I had come to a decision. It was quite a gamble, but I knew that what was done tonight would be important for our relationship with the household.

While Alderfly fiddled with a loose piece of wrapping on the bandage, I looked at him with a stern look – one a servant probably should not direct at a young master – and told him. "Master Alderfly I need to get home. My family is waiting for me there, and my time with them is very important, especially these days. You are more than welcome to come and eat with us, but on one condition: you do not be mean to my children."

He stopped playing with the bandage. I could not see his face, but I saw by his posture that he was tense. I was still nervous, because I did not know if he would catch on that his own servant had given him an ultimatum. Either you can stay here and be alone, or you can come with me and treat me and mine with respect. If it had been someone like Master Hornet, I would probably have gotten my eyes ripped out. But Alderfly was very quiet for a long time.

He looked up at me and nodded, saying. "I won't, I'll be quiet."

I was still unsure about what would happen, but Alderfly had agreed to my terms and I am a dragon of my word. Especially where dragonets are involved. So, I took what I needed from the storage room and brought Alderfly with me back home. I gambled a lot that evening. I first gambled whether I could get away with negotiating with one of my masters, then I gambled whether everyone would behave at home. I was worried about how badly my children would react to me bringing their tormentor home, and I knew my wife would not be much different. She is as protective of our clutch as I am. But I knew this was a difficult situation that had no straight-forward solution, and it would demand for us to build character. I hoped that both Alderfly and my dragonets would learn some empathy.

We reached my family's cell near the Hive's lower quarters. Alderfly said nothing and stayed very close to my side while we walked and flew. When we reached my home I heard my little ones bounding toward me from the silk bridge. I looked over just in time to see their faces go from gleeful and loving to confused and horrified. I did not want them to make a scene, but I was not going to do what many would and try to carry on like everything was normal. I do not waste my time with weak and petty fantasies.

I walked towards them and told them. "Swallowtail, Buckeye. Master Alderfly will be joining us for dinner tonight. Some things happened at the house and he needs to be with us right now."

Their eyes were like claws around my heart. I could tell they felt betrayed. I had comforted them when Alderfly bullied them, and would sometimes join them in criticizing his behavior. So, their father went from protecting them from the enemy to bringing the enemy to our front door.

They looked at Alderfly with what I thought very good control over their tempers. They scowled some, but most of their anger was kept in their eyes and did not come out in their snouts or voices. I looked at Alderfly with them and realized what might have made them pause. Alderfly's eyes were mostly dry, but you could tell he had been crying very hard, and the bandage around his arm had a few blotches of blood. I was proud of my children for being as calm as they were, though I still hated how they looked at me as we went into the house without speaking a word. I did not blame them for their anger.

My wife did not keep her temper in check as well as my son and daughter though. When she turned around from the counter-top her face went from pleased to shocked in a very short time. She kept looking at me and Alderfly as she said. "Uh what is he… what is going on, Viceroy?" Her eyes began to smolder and she was careful to not look directly at Alderfly.

I faced her and told her like I told our children. "Master Alderfly will be joining us for dinner tonight. Some things happened at the house and I cannot leave him alone right now."

I knew she was not satisfied with my brief answer, but her eyes looked over Alderfly. My wife's eyes are sharp and quick. I know she saw his puffy eyes, the bandage on his wrist and his lowly posture and expression. She might have been confused and maybe a little suspicious, but she became silent and nodded.

I looked down at Alderfly and saw that he stood close to me. I did not put a wing around him to comfort him because I knew that would upset my family more, and in all honesty I wanted him to feel their looks. In a dark way I was satisfied with how he kept his head low and looked to be thinking small thoughts. I thought it was a good sign that he seemed ashamed. I saw my children on the other side of the room staring at him with very faint frowns, though I could not tell what they must have been thinking. I imagine they were not pleasant thoughts. It was even more awkward because of how cramped our home was. Because of my station, my family and I could afford a very nice cell, and we were fortunate to find one with three rooms. It was a mere soapbox to Alderfly though, and he would not be able to get away from judgement.

I took pity on him after a few minutes though. I realized that all the staring and quick scowling was getting to him, and I could not let that continue when he was supposed to be there for comfort. I put him by a corner with a few of our books and hoped he would find one that interested him. I then had my children working on getting food ready, to occupy them from being so aware of their bully. With three cooks, there was not much for me to do in the kitchen, so I began setting up the table. Normally it is quite plain, but because we had a guest I made sure to get a table cloth and our best dishes. It was not long before everything was ready, and the five of us finally sat at the table and tried to eat.

I could not stand the tension. Nobody spoke or looked at each other, not even to have condiments and food passed around the table. All anybody but I did was grunt and point at something, and it would be passed to them with even less acknowledgement. I was between Alderfly and my children so they did not need to be right next to one another, but my wife sat directly to Alderfly's right and behaved coldly towards him. He remained quiet as the dead, and only ate the food that was directly in front of him. He was trying to avoid as much interaction as possible, and it was because of this that he did not ask any of us to serve him like he would at his home. I believe he was all too aware that he was no longer in his home.

I let this continue for a few minutes, but eventually I broke the tension because it felt wrong to let it keep going. I turned to Buckeye and asked him. "So, you had that race today, right?"

Everyone at the table froze like I had become a monster that had not noticed them yet. My son took a moment before looking up at me, then said. "Yes."

I expected him to continue since we both knew there was more to say. But in such an uncomfortable place I had to prod him towards giving me more details, so I asked him. "Well, how did it go?"

There was silence again, though it was not as long as before. Then Buckeye leaned back a bit – I think he was using me to block the sight of Alderfly – and told me. "It went pretty well. I got third place this time."

Before then my son had only been in seventh and fifth place. I was genuinely proud of him, and I smiled wide when I said. "Ah that is fantastic! How hard did you have to fight for it?"

My son smiled too and said. "It wasn't easy. Admiral and Morpho got a little lazy I think and tripped up, almost literally. Toward the end I really had to push myself because Spicebrush had a greater lead, but I actually passed her at the last second!"

I was very proud now. I gave my son a slap on the back with my tail and told him. "Good job! It should not take long now for you to get first, yes?"

My son was grinning wide as he said. "Yeah, only two more ranks to go!"

I chuckled at him and turned to take a bite, but just before I could get any food, Alderfly suddenly spoke up and said. "No, wait, you need to go up three places."

The whole place became quiet and dark again. Everyone stared at Alderfly either confused or angry, and he seemed to shrink in his place. I was unsure how far I could get with being his temporary father, but I thought it was a bad idea to let his statement hang like that. Especially since it was incorrect.

I took a moment, then told him. "No, Buckeye is right. He only needs to go up two placements." Alderfly glanced up at me for a moment, then looked back at his plate. He looked genuinely unsure whether to say something, but his eyes seemed to say he believed I was wrong and did not know how to tell me. I understood he likely had a prejudice against any SilkWing's ability to do math, though to be fair he was of an age that liked to test adults, even his own kin.

He must have made his decision though, because after a few moments he held up a talon and counted off his claws as he said. "Third, second, first. That's three placements."

What he said was actually very helpful, because I now understood where the mistake was. It seemed a strangely common one among dragonets, and even some dragons. I moved aside my plate so I had a clear space before me and said. "Those are three placements, but Buckeye only needs to go up two more, not three." I expected Alderfly to have that look that said he did not believe me, though he would not admit it in words. Before he could respond to me, I outlined the flower pattern on the tablecloth and told him. "Look, if these flowers represent third, second, and first, then Buckeye is on this flower. Now this will be his new starting point. If he wants to get to first place, he must go up one, two placements." I illustrated everything I said with the flowers and my claw. Alderfly looked confused now, which I thought was an improvement from being downright dismissive of my lesson. I then told him. "If third place is where Buckeye is now, he only needs to go up one, two placements. One, two. To see how far he must go, do not count the flowers, count the spaces between them from third to first. There are only two spaces between all three of them."

I was silent for a few seconds because I wanted to know if he had any questions. Alderfly kept staring at the patterns and my claw with that confused face, then his eyes became almost as big as the dinner plates and he whispered. "Oh, I get it."

I was growing tired of the silences, so when another threatened to take over the whole table I said. "So Swallowtail, how was your day? Did anything special happen?"

After that everyone seemed to relax. It was strange, like that simple little lesson had put everyone in their place. Buckeye was happy enough that I had backed him up, and Alderfly looked humbled and embarrassed. He kept looking at the pattern of the tablecloth in a way that I now know to be his "calculating face." The table was almost cheery, and Alderfly was almost invisible aside from a little chuckle here or there.

We finished our meal and cleared the table. Once the dishes were cleaned and left-overs preserved – an act that confused Alderfly – my children put their homework on the table for us to work on. Helping them with their school was an important job of mine, and was one of the reasons why I offered Alderfly a place to stay with us instead of staying at the house with him. I was not going to choose him over my own children. I dedicated so much time to my masters, and I would not waste any time that I could have with my family. I still hold to that today.

Math was the top subject my children always brought me. I have always been good with numbers, so it made sense that I was their tutor. But I was taken by surprise when Alderfly quietly came up and watched us with that calculating face. We did not notice him beside us until Swallowtail turned to grab a piece of paper. He said nothing until we reached a problem that he thought he could solve, and he shared with us the method he had learned in his own school. There was nothing incorrect about the method, and he did it correctly, but it was slow and fancy. It was a very academic way of solving the problem. My line of work demands I be quick and efficient, and I had learned and developed ways to solve problems that satisfied that demand. I showed him the quick formula that my children and I used to solve the problem. He was unsure at first, but once he got the hang of it he could not deny it was better. After that we got him scraps of paper and he joined my children and me with the homework.

I believe that night and that tutoring lesson were very, very important for how he thinks now. That was the night that showed him many of the lies about SilkWings. We are not stupid or lesser dragons. We have the same essence as any HiveWings, and he has argued that with his father for years now. It's gotten him in trouble several times, but he is too stubborn to give it up. He is too much like Mistress Vespa.

Later that night I followed my wife into our room while the children cleaned up and organized their work. She asked me what happened and I told her. My wife is very protective of our children, but she has a lot of compassion too. She would neither forget nor forgive what Alderfly had done to our son and daughter, but she could not turn away someone who was in so much pain and so much a danger to himself. It helped that Aldefly showed humility though, because it told us that he had regret and could change. When we saw him around our children that night we caught signs that he was ashamed. He never said anything, but he saw my daughter's school bag and the rips that were on it. He had slashed it only a few days before, and when he saw it he looked away and to the ground.

Alderfly stayed the night, sleeping in a makeshift hammock my wife wove on the spot. I could tell he was awkward because he was used to sleeping pallets, but we had none at our home and the only alternative was the rug. The next morning I found him fast asleep in the hammock. Like every servant I am up and about right at dawn, which is earlier than what many HiveWings are used to. I gently woke him and asked if he would like to sleep in or come back to his home with me. He was not pleased at being woken up, but he also did not like the idea of being left behind with dragons that only had half the sympathy I did for him. We flew back to the house and he made his way to his own bed.

After that Alderfly never disrespected the servants again. He was distant from all of us at first, but eventually became comfortable enough that he could be in the same room as us, though he was usually silent. Over the next several weeks he stayed with us three more times because of his depression, and each time we all grew more tolerant of him. My wife even started talking to him, although she sounded stiff. My children never spoke to him unless he asked them something, and they would respond with very short words and never met his eye. I thought it was interesting that he would try to have conversation with them. After a month or so we found a brand-new school bag waiting outside our cell with a letter that read Swallowtail. It was a very nice bag, made of clean and smooth leather and had bright colors. A few days later there was another bag with a note that said Buckeye. It was of equal quality and also had bright colors, though different from the last bag. My children were excited at the idea that they had a mysterious admirer, but my wife and I knew who the gifts came from.

I had half expected the gifts, but nothing prepared me for when Alderfly visited us and asked for my children. We were not certain at first what he was planning to do, and a few of us were worried about some malice. But then he apologized to my children. He kept his eyes down, but his apology sounded sincere and practiced. He had been thinking about it for a while. We were all speechless, but my children eventually accepted his apology and he went home that day, relieved I think, and he did not come back for another week. Then he visited us and asked how we were, including details on my son's rankings – which he had increased by two placements since we last talked about it. My children and Alderfly were very awkward, but after a while they started talking more and seemed to forget that they had once been bully and victims. Ever since that day my children and Alderfly would visit one another in secret, so as not to catch the attention of Master Hornet or anyone else, and they have become close friends. I think all this helped Aldefly get out of his depression. By trying to make amends with his servants and in a way studying SilkWings, he had found himself a project. When his project was not enough to pull him away from sad memories, I was there to talk to him, and later on my children helped him as well.

I have great respect for Alderfly. He is so much like his mother when he looks between HiveWings and SilkWings. Whenever he needs help with his genealogy research I never hesitate to help, because that research could be the foundation to destroy the Queen and her servant's lies about SilkWings. That could be the first step to getting us rights.

I will say this last thing, when it comes to Alderfly. While he is very similar to his mother, there is one thing that makes him very different from her: his determination to act. I mean no disrespect to Mistress Vespa, for she was one of my favorite dragons, but she was too passive. She had hoped that by being an example she could change how SilkWings were viewed and treated, and there can be merit to her kindness and subtlety. But so long as Queen Wasp rules, no amount of delicacy will overthrow that one's lies and power. We need HiveWings like Alderfly, who are willing to shake things up within those ranks.