21: March 2045, A Bearable Weight

"Oh my goodness Kim, I just don't know what to do!"

"Go for it," she urged me, "he's a nice bloke. And I think he's calmed down a bit these days."

I still wasn't sure. I'd been so happy with Eddie, how could anyone else measure up?

"You don't need another Eddie," Kim said, "you just need a nice bloke."

She was right, of course. Kim was my best friend, and often knew better than me what I needed. She had been a solid support since Eddie died, not only someone I could talk to, but a close friend, companion, and source of a huge amount of laughter . . . and wine. All those years ago it was our children who ran around the garden together. These days it was our grandchildren. I loved that Dexter still brought his children to visit me. Eddie would have been glad I had a friend like Kim. And he would be pleased if I found happiness again. So perhaps it was worth taking another chance on love.

And so I called Tom Clarkson back and I said yes, I would like to go for that meal with you.

Although we'd never quite lost touch since leaving Waterloo Road, we hadn't remained close friends like we had with Kim and Chris. But as I got to know him again, I found we had an awful lot in common. Like me, he'd raised a brood of children, only some of them related biologically to him. I'd seen his granddaughter, sweet Little Izzy, a few times over the years, but mostly only really watched her grow up via Facebook. Now not so little at 38 years old, she was almost indistinguishable from the grandmother she never met. Izzy Childs was a passionate, idealistic Drama teacher.

Chlo's husband Donte reminded me of Eddie in many ways. Impulsive, casual, eminently likeable, he flew by the seat of his pants running his mobile mechanic business, with not a sense of concern that his wife earned more than him. Just as I had with Eddie, Chlo smiled fondly while he teased her, rolling her eyes at the chaos he created, whilst maintaining her own perfectionism and dignity. In her mid-50s now, she retained the beauty of a much younger woman, and nurtured the young beauticians she hired for her salon as if they were her own children, priming them for success, and celebrating each and every one who moved on to bigger things. She was busy planning her next vow renewal with Donte. Tom had lost count of how many times they had done this!

Mika of course had made a success of her life as well. Intelligent and serious, yet with a gentle, calm assertiveness, she made an excellent Head of Pastoral Care at a troubled school not unlike Waterloo Road. Although she had never married or had children of her own, she was a loving auntie to Chlo and Donte's six children. And you know, if I could find love now in my 70s, have this enormous family despite never giving birth myself, maybe she would too. But I could see she felt no hint of disappointment or loneliness with the quiet life she had created for herself, able to retreat into her home and close the door on the chaos that surrounded her both at work and amongst the rest of her family. In some ways, I envied her.

Sweet Josh eventually settled down with his husband Isaac, and was a gentle, loving father to the two little girls they adopted, now teenagers. He'd battled through a few periods of mental illness, but eventually got himself onto an even keel and continued on to build a happy life for himself. Although Josh hadn't had any kind of notable career success, unable to handle any kind of stress, Tom was eminently proud of the man Josh had become – and with good reason.

And so Tom brought with him this group of loving adults and children into my life. My grief for my beloved Eddie became a bearable weight as I looked around and saw myself surrounded by so much love and happiness. My time with Eddie had started too late, then been cut unfairly short, but the time we did have, we had made the most of. What more can you hope to get from life?