Happier Than the Morning Sun

It was fleeting, but the thought crossed Miranda's mind to wake up Val and have her help with an outfit. It had to be something casual, comfortable and most importantly, cute. Almost like she didn't care about what she was wearing when in fact, she'd spent fifteen minutes deciding on whether to put on sweatpants or jeans. Feeling like sweats were a little too lax, she opted for an old pair of blue jeans that were the perfect fit around her butt, but baggy around the waist since she'd lost some pounds after her divorce. Next, layers because of the chilly Seattle weather that she knew would be awaiting: a bra, tank top, long-sleeved dark blue shirt with her hospital logo and her purple fleece-lined hoodie that kept her cozy no matter the temperature.

Slipping into her white Nikes, Miranda gave herself the onceover in the mirror, satisfied that her makeup and hair looked good. She checked the time and realized that she only had twenty minutes to get to the park. Dani was strolling out of the kitchen as Val was coming up from her room. They were both still in pajamas. "Uh, what's going on here?" Dani asked gesturing with her coffee mug which was actually Miranda's.

"Where are you going?" Val asked.

Ignoring that, Miranda said: "I cannot believe you."

"Who? Me or her?" Val asked.

"Danielle."

"What is it now?" Dani asked.

"Mandy," Val started, "Use your words."

Miranda held up her hand for her younger sister. She had this. "Did you tell him that he'd be a 'crazy ass nigga' not to get my number?"

Val looked shocked as Dani agreed with a slight bounce of her head. "Maybe."

"You backed off for me?" Dani sipped from her drink. "So, why were you being so… mean?" She looked at Val who was shaking her head, just as bewildered. "Why didn't you just tell me that? Why did you—?"

"To light a fire under your ass, of course. And because if I'd told you to go for him, you would have ignored me. Or taken a million years to let your guard down." Miranda looked from Dani to Val who was now nodding.

"Mmm… maybe not." Her sisters exchanged disbelieving looks. "Oh, whatever!" She screeched as the three of them laughed.

Dani leaned against the wall. "In all seriousness, I did find him attractive. And if you weren't my sister, I'd probably would have kept pushing. You know I don't like to lose." Miranda made a face. "But I could see that you really liked him, so…"

"You backed off for me?" She repeated.

"If you want to put it like that." Her faux indifference about it nearly pissed Miranda off. But as much as she wanted to be mad at the older Bailey, she could only admire her. The one she'd looked up to since the day she was born, who never let anyone harm Miranda, even if it was her own fool self. She was the reason Miranda had stayed on the premed track at Wellesley after a tough bout of imposter syndrome and homesickness.

"You're aggravating," Miranda told her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Inserting herself into the conversation once more, Val asked: "Wait a minute! So why didn't you do that with Chris?"

"Who?" Dani asked.

"Chris Simmons." She poked her sister trying to jog her memory. "Chris! The boy you took to—"

"Prom!" They said together.

"Right, right," Dani recalled.

"Yeah," Miranda said tilting her head. "He liked me and you swooped in and took him."

"Mandy…" She wiped her face, yawning. "Chris was a little shit, okay? He didn't like you. He was obsessed with me. And because I didn't want him..." Dani sighed before heading back into the kitchen with her sisters on her heels. "He thought he could get to me through you and I wasn't having it." Miranda glanced at Val who appeared to be hearing all of this for the first time, too. "So, I set his ass up."

How had nearly twenty years gone by and she was just now finding this out? "Set him up how?"

"I asked him out and got some good optics for prom for mom and dad before sleeping with Tareen."

Miranda thought for a second. "His older sister?"

"Yeah," Dani smirked, remembering. "We slept together on prom night and the night after that and the one after that."

The younger Bailey sisters exchanged surprised looks. "You didn't?!" Miranda asked.

"I did."

"Damn, girl," Val said, beginning a slow clap.

Miranda couldn't help but to join in. "But if you lay a paw on Ben, I will hurt you." She bobbed her head. "Him first, then you."

Dani held up her hand. "Deal."

They walked her to the front door. "So, where are you two going at this hour?" Val asked taking Dani's cup from her and making at face at the taste. "That needs sugar."

"No, you need to get your own. Shit."

Miranda laughed. "Um, to Boren Park." She shook her head at what she was about to say next. "To see the sunrise."

"Damn, that's sexy," Dani told her. "Man's got game."

"He doesn't have anything yet," Miranda said.

"Yet," Val said while drinking more coffee.

Ben called as she put her hand on the knob. Her sisters silently begged her to put him on speakerphone. "Hi."

"Hey. Um, I'm already here. Please tell me that you're on your way."

She smiled. The GPS said that she was twenty minutes south of the park. "Yes, of course, I'll be there in like… five minutes." Dani and Val snickered and Miranda put her finger to her lips.

"Are you lying, Miranda Bailey?"

"Ten minutes."

"Right. I guess I'll see you in twenty or so, sweetheart."

Miranda hurried to take him off speaker. "Okay, bye."

"Ahem!" He said in her ear.

"Fine… Bye… honey," she responded ending the call and opening the door, pretending not to feel the stares of Dani and Val.

"'Honey'?" Val asked.

"'Sweetheart'?" Dani followed.

"It's a long story," Miranda said breezing out of the door.

On her way to the park, Miranda tried to calm herself down. A date! Jesus! She hadn't been on a real date in… forever. She and Ben would no longer only have four minutes to talk or be in a darkish club with music blistering their eardrums or even a couple of miles away from each other talking on the phone. They'd be inches apart, face to face.

That part she was looking forward to. But there was the nagging feeling of what if he wasn't how she remembered? Or what if she wasn't what he wanted anymore? There was no time to answer those questions because Miranda had arrived at the winding, near empty parking lot. She pulled her black BMW right next to the only vehicle out there, a dark red Ford F-150 that was parked backward. The bed of the truck faced the lengthy, dark sky.

Before she turned off her engine, she peeked through the window to make sure that the driver was Ben. He rolled down his window, smiling widely. "Hi."

Miranda was so happy to see him that she could only nod, nervous. They got out and met in the space between their cars. Her arms twitched to hug him. Instead of doing so, she stepped back, taking in his outfit. In a pair of dark blue, loose joggers and a fresh white tee and pair of white sneakers, to say he looked good would have been an understatement. She'd made a big deal about sex, but right about now, she wanted him. The thought made her inhale her bottom lip, releasing it slowly. "Hi."

He looked at his watch. "Well, uh, we still have some time before the main event of our date."

"And what's the opening act?"

"May I?" He asked holding out his arm. She latched herself onto him much like the woman was doing at the club. And Miranda didn't blame her. Ben smelled so good, his cologne eased into her nostrils, subtle and manly. They walked around to the trunk of his truck and she saw that it was set up beautifully. There was a fluffy blanket covering the floor of the trunk. And several pillows were placed around the sides. It all looked so comfy, she wanted to crawl onto it immediately, especially since she was still feeling a little bit tired. A speaker sat off to the side with a small cooler and a tote bag sitting next to it waiting to be opened. And she wondered what goodies he had in there.

Miranda looked up at Ben who was looking down at her. "You did all of this in an hour's time?"

"It's just a little something," he told her, lifting his shoulders nonchalantly.

But it was the sweetest thing any man had ever done for her. Like Dani had predicted, it was all so intimate, simple and quiet. They could distinctly hear the animals, insects and the wind surrounding them. "This is really incredible, Ben." She really hoped her tone expressed how appreciative she was.

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

He faced her and wrapped his arms around her and she put hers around his neck, squeezing him. "Couldn't wait to hug me, could you?"

"Me?" She asked.

"Yes, you," he taunted with a smirk.

She pushed him away but he held on to her, his fingers tapping at her waist. "You hugged me first."

"Ehh, maybe I did."

"Regretting it?"

Ben shook his head. "Not at all." They climbed onto the bed of the truck. Miranda took off her shoes as he fanned a blanket over their legs. "I'm glad you came out this morning."

"I can't believe I left my house at this ungodly hour."

"I must be some guy."

"Hmmph," she started looking to the side with a shrug. "You're alright." He added another pillow behind her back and it was such a sweet gesture that she leaned into him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"So, the sunrise doesn't happen for a while."

"We needed to find a nice spot."

She looked around comically. "Ah, yes, because people are lining up to get to Boren Park at this time."

"Exactly." He turned on some music and she realized there was nowhere else she'd rather be.

She reached across his body to turn down the speaker and she could feel his abs through his sweatshirt. Her brain scrambled. "Uh, did you know that sunrises vary with the season?" Before leaving the house, Miranda had researched the time of the sunrise. It had been so long since she'd delved into atmospheric optics.

"I did."

"You didn't."

"I did. Did you know that New Zealand witnesses the first sunrise each day?"

She cut her eyes at him. "No. I didn't," she said deflated. "But did you know there's something called a 'false sunrise'?"

His jaw shifted. "Nah."

"Apparently, the sun sometimes appears to have risen, but it's still under the horizon."

Ben nodded. "That's actually very interesting."

"I thought so."

They exchanged a few more facts, trying to one-up the other. Their friendly competition made her heart smile. Marcel had been right. He was just as nerdy as she was. When there was a break in the conversation, she asked: "Are we calling this a date?"

"I was gonna follow your lead on that," he said. "What do you think?"

"Depends on how it goes, I think."

He gasped. "Then let me step my game up."

"Let's see what you've got," she said.

"Okay." He clapped. "So, I've got snacks galore and drinks chilling, music playing and great conversation, obviously."

"Obviously," she said feigning obnoxiousness.

"Woman, please. You and I both know that I'm a phenomenal conversationalist." Miranda teased him with a smile. "Is that look your way of telling me that you don't like talking to me?" He picked up his phone and skipped the song.

She bobbed her head as low R&B music poured out of the speaker. "I love talking to you."

"Love? Wow. Okay. Slow down there." Her heart stopped and she tensed up. She really had to remember to screen her words before they exited her mouth. He must have sensed her discomfort because he said: "Miranda, I'm only kidding."

"Oh, right."

"You okay?"

Physically, she was fine, but emotionally, she was a wreck. "I don't know how to do this. Like… I… You probably go on dates every weekend." Above the light from his phone, Miranda saw the complete confusion on his face, so she tried to verbally gather her thoughts. "And I haven't been on a first date in a long time," she told him earnestly. "In fact, I…" She took a deep breath. "I just got out of a marriage, so I don't even remember how to date," she babbled as a laugh riddled with anxiety escaped.

Ben cleared his throat. "Can I speak now or…?" She nodded. Admitting that had been hard, but it was best to just get it out of the way now. Let him run before she completely ruined things. "You make a lot of assumptions, do you know that?" Not sure if she should respond, Miranda just waited. "I do not have dates every weekend. I'm simply too tired and I don't have the time."

She winced. "I shouldn't have said that." He nodded in agreement. "I'm sorry."

"Though even if I did, it wouldn't change how I feel about you."

"And how's that, Benjamin Warren?"

"Cut it out. You know I'm attracted to you, Miranda Bailey."

Breathe. All she had to do was calm down. Some of the swagger she used to have came back forcefully. "You should be." Ben smiled widely, his teeth brightening the area momentarily. He was no doubt into her and she felt the same. If she stopped trying to sabotage things, it could be smooth sailing from here. "So, uh, what does a wife have to do to see what's in that there cooler?"

"Oh this?" He opened it and revealed two kinds of beer. She turned her nose up at one, pointing at the other. "Thanks."

"You got it."

They lay back, listening to music, talking about any and everything. There was a level of comfort that she shared with Ben that had never been there with Tucker or any other man. She sensed that if she told him that she wanted to go to Canada to see the Northern Lights, he'd drop everything and accompany her. Miranda sighed knowing if he asked her that very thing, she'd be calling out and buckling in, too. She dug her hand into a bag of chips. "What made you pick sunrise?"

Ben didn't answer right away and she looked over to see if he was still awake. "I heard you."

"Oh."

"I'm just thinking about how to tell you that I needed to see you again without you thinking I'm some kind of lothario."

She leaned back on the pillows, sipping her beer. "Sounds like you're on the right track."

"Good. Then I wanted to see—"

"'Need'."

"What?"

"You said 'need'. You needed to see me again."

He turned onto his side, shaking the truck a little. "I want and needed to see you again."

"Well, of course, you did."

"Plus, nothing else was open, so I had to get whip something up."

"You do get points for creativity," she replied, questioning whether this was his first time orchestrating a sunrise date or if she was indeed that special. Miranda put the bottle to her lips, not drinking, but holding it there to keep herself busy.

Ben reached into the bag and pulled out a container with two sandwiches from Dunkin Donuts. "Turkey, bacon and provolone or chicken, bacon and ranch? Do you eat meat?"

She nodded and reached for the turkey. "Yes."

They ate and drank more beer while they chatted, their conversations light as they got to know one another more. Like his favorite color just happened to be her favorite color. But she'd mentioned hers first so did he really like amethyst or was he copying her? That debate was never-ending and fun. He matched her wit and her sarcasm, something many people weren't able to do.

"So, we get her stitched up and on her way, right? Two steps from the building, she gets hit by a car."

"No way," he said.

"Yes. Hit by a bike and a car in the same day."

"Jesus." The two of them chuckled. Their fingers were intwined. Now it was second nature to touch him. He didn't mind that she reached for his hand first. And Miranda didn't care when he kissed her fingers, brushing her skin across his beard. The electricity between them overwhelmed her from minute to minute.

Every molecule inside of her wanted to kiss the man in front of her. And she was sure he felt the same way, though they were each probably waiting for the right time. But every time she looked into his eyes, warm and inviting, it seemed to be the perfect time. He took her beer bottle from her hand. "What are you doing?" She asked as he put their drinks on top of the cooler.

Their eyes met and while she couldn't quite see them, she knew what they wanted. They were asking permission to kiss her and she obliged by tilting her chin upward. His hand touched her cheek, drawing her in. Their lips met in a soft kiss that made the hairs on her body stand up. She danced across the back of his head, stroking it to their movements. It was her first kiss in a long time and it did not disappoint.

When they separated, he blew some air out of his mouth. "Wow."

"So that's what you were doing."

"Yes." Ben hooked her chin and bit his bottom lip. He released it and she had no choice but to kiss him again. This one was much shorter, but where the first one had been sweet, this one was full of passion. The second taste of him had her body reeling. This time she allowed his tongue to enter her mouth and she half-regretted that she hadn't let him do it sooner. Miranda dropped her head into his chest, getting even more comfortable. And she couldn't be certain, but she thought she felt him kiss the top of her head. "Are you having a good time?"

"I'm having a wonderful time" was the last thing she remembered saying before dozing off. The sun started to peek over the horizon and the two of them lay next to each other, one snoring, the other usually a stickler for complete quiet while she slept, smushing herself more into the vibrating body. It was laughable that they were missing the focus of their date, but a ringtone blaring shook her awake. Hitting the covers, Miranda searched for her phone and rushed to pick it up. "Hello?" She asked sitting up, stretching. Her eyes went to the sun that seemed like it was only inches above the land, but she knew better.

The mixed voices of both of her sisters attacked her ears. "Where are you?"

"I'm still with Ben," she whispered to them. The man beside her roused in his sleep, but didn't wake. "But y'all knew that."

"Oooh, Ben," they sang.

"Shhh!" She hissed.

"We had to make sure he didn't 'Taken' you," Val said as the microwave beeped.

Miranda rubbed her eyes gently trying not to mess up her makeup. "He did not 'Taken' me. I am fine."

"What is he doing right now?" Dani inquired. Miranda could hear her crunching into something.

"Sleeping," she answered looking over to see one of Ben's eyes wide open, the other closed as he yawned.

"Not anymore," he said sitting up. His chest pushed against her shoulder.

The flipping in her heart stilled her. "I have to go." They squealed as she ended the call. "Hi."

"Hey. Were you gossiping about me?"

"Mind your business," she said not bothering to turn her head because their lips would surely meet again. Ben groaned lowly and grabbed her waist, tackling her. "Ahh!" Her yelp turned into laughter. Hitting his arm, she readjusted and stared at him.

"Good morning," he said with a smile, nuzzling her.

Her heart had stopped tumbling, but now her stomach was betraying her. "Good morning."

"Coffee?"

"You have coffee?"

He nodded and reached behind him and uncovered a thermos. "Now, it's not hot, but it should still be good and warm… ish." He poured some into the small cup attached and handed it to her.

"Thank you." Miranda wouldn't have pegged herself as a person who would have agreed to a first date in a park, but here she was… extremely relaxed and, dare she say, delighted. She extended her legs beneath the blankets, flexing her toes. "I think we've missed the best part," she said. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him smirking.

It was so mischievously sexy. Somehow, he pulled her closer, his eye contact unfaltering as he sipped from the container. The sun continued its spread over the sky. "Did we though?"