Summary: A series of short vignettes taking place in season 4. Missing scenes in the attack storyline.
Dirty
"You should probably clean this up," he said to her nonchalantly, acting as though he hadn't just destroyed her life. And with that, he left the room, shutting the door behind her.
Anna's body curled itself into a protective ball on the floor. She lay there still and quietly for several moments. Each second felt like an eternity. She felt almost removed from her body, watching from above. As if she was in a picture show and this was all just for show. But it wasn't. It was real.
Sobs began to escape harshly from her busted lip. The reality of what had happened to her was beginning to sink in.
John.
Her first gut feeling was that she needed her husband. She needed him to hold her and make this all go away. She ached for his comfort.
Immediately reality hit her hard. No. She couldn't do that. If he knew, he….. No. She was spoiled, ruined. John would never want to touch her again. He couldn't know.
And Green. John would certainly kill him. There was not a doubt in Anna's mind that he would. If he did, then John would surely swing.
Anna suddenly felt sick. How had she allowed this to happen? She ruined everything. Bile began to rise with her throat. She grabbed a bucket from the floor and emptied into it. Her throat burned as the liquid rose from her stomach. It reminded her of how strongly she had screamed for him to stop and for someone to help. No one did.
Anna's breath caught within her throat, as her eyes scanned around the room. The room was turned upside down. She would have to clean it to keep anyone from knowing what had happened. She couldn't let them know. The way they would look at her. She blinked back tears.
Her mind tried to process how long she had before everyone would be coming downstairs. She didn't have much time.
A guttural scream left her lips as she stood. Her body ached; her legs and arms were so sore from how he had held her down. She tried to ignore the deep ache between her legs.
Wrapping her torn dress around her. Anna quickly and quietly attempted to put everything back where it belonged. The faster she could clean it; the faster she could erase it from it being there.
No matter how much she scrubbed the floor where it had happened, it still seemed dirty. Tears stung behind her eyes. She had to hurry. Her time was running out.
Once she was finished, Anna did not feel relief. She wanted to fall deep within the cracks of the floor and disappear from all that was around her.
She felt dirty. She could never become cleaned. If anyone knew, they would see the handprints of Green all over her.
Her body burned. Every place he had touched her stung.
Suddenly she felt frantic. She couldn't leave the room looking like she did. If she did, everyone would see her. Then they would know. They would see her in her shame. Shame covered her.
Anna debated walking home, before she could be found.
No.
She still had Lady Mary to care for that evening and John would question why she had left without telling him. Not to mention how long of a walk that would be with a torn dress.
Anna felt her body tighten. She was unsure what to do. She felt lost.
She pressed her body back against the wall feeling unsafe. Her body began to shake. No longer having the room to focus on, she could feel herself falling apart again.
Soon the servants would be coming downstairs. She had to hide somewhere. Somewhere safe.
Anna peeked through the doorway to ensure no one was coming down. She listened closely for footsteps. When she was sure she heard nothing, Anna stepped into the hallway and glanced wildly around her.
Part of her feared Mr. Green was still there lurking behind the shadows. That he would jump out and grab her again. She shuddered at the thought.
Her eyes landed on Mrs. Hughes' door. She could make it into the room quickly. That would be her plan. Mrs. Hughes would have to be told, but she trusted her.
Anna rushed down the hallway and nearly cried out in relief that her door was not locked.
Suddenly, she felt exposed standing in the middle of Mrs. Hughes' sitting room. She grasped a hold onto her table to keep from falling over from the trembling that had taken over her body.
Her eyes found a corner behind the cabinet. She slowly walked over to the corner and pressed herself back against the wall, before allowing herself to sink to the floor.
To be continued
This will only be missing scenes from Season 4 and not a cohesive story. I rewatched season 4 the last few days and I thought of some scenes I would have liked to have seen. That inspired this story. Let me know if you would like more.