I cannot apologise enough for the 10 year delay in updating this story, so I won't but I think I might be getting my groove back.

(All mistakes are mine)

Chapter 9

I'm not sure how long I sat there listening to the beeps of the machine and watching Nan's chest rise and fall with every breath she took. I gently rubbed my thumb over the knuckles on her hand that seemed to look so small in mine.

I heard someone clear their throat behind me and turned to find Emily standing in the doorway with a look of concern.

"What's wrong?" I asked in a panic, starting to rise out of the chair I was in.

"Nothing with Nonnie but I think you should get home and rest, she might not wake up for some time yet and you look exhausted." Emily said while walking over to me and placed a caring hand on my shoulder.

I looked back to the prone figure in the bed and knew that I wouldn't be going anywhere until Nan woke up and told me to 'get lost' herself. My heart seized at the sight of her. The vivacious woman from only a few hours earlier was gone. Nan had always looked good for her age, marking it up to fresh air and living life to the fullest. The woman in front of me looked like a stranger.

"I can't." was my simple reply.

There was no way I was leaving.

Nothing could make me.

….

Night rolled into morning and with that came a twitch of Nan's finger and her eyes moving behind her closed lids. That got me out the door and shouting for a nurse, the most I had moved in hours.

The doctor came rushing in with an air of calm about him and asked me to leave the room while they checked Nan's monitors and vitals.

I didn't want to leave but slowly made my way into the corridor where I leaned against the wall in front of her door, not willing to go too far away.

I felt my long-forgotten phone vibrate in my pocket. Without really paying too much attention to the name that flashed up on the screen, I answered it with a tired "Hello"

"Bella?"

I knew that voice anywhere, it was Edward.

"Hey, how are you?" I asked wearily, trying to sound normal, considering the situation I found myself in.

Last night I wanted Edward here with me but that was selfish. I couldn't drag him back into this mess when I was the one that told him I needed space. I needed to actually listen to myself for once.

"Uh, yeah I'm ok." Edward replied, clearing his voice at the end.

Awkward wasn't even the word for how this felt.

"I'm sorry for calling so late last night, I uh…think it was like muscle memory calling you, ya know?"

Edward chuckled quietly down the line.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, the amount of times I've gone to text you over the last few days and then had to stop myself is insane."

It crazy how hard my heart was beating just hearing his voice and here I was slouched against a wall outside my grandmothers hospital room.

I needed to have a word with myself, seriously.

"I was thinking…" Edward started to say but got cut off by the nurse.

"Your grandmother is awake." She beamed at me.

The exhale I let out was like I deflated there and then.

"Sorry Edward but I have to go." I ended the call and felt momentarily bad for cutting Edward off like that but promised myself to text him an apology later. With everything going on, my parents had taught me good manners after all.

I walked into the room behind the nurse and saw Nan's eyes focus on me as soon as I cleared the doorway.

"Hey Nan, you gave me a scare there." I said gently, making my way to her bedside.

Nan cleared her throat and then just patted my hand that I had placed on her leg.

"Takes a lot more than that do end me, dear girl." She croaked at me, grimacing.

"Now, Mrs Swan, your throat will be sore for a few days because we had to place a tube down your throat to help you breathe. You'll be in the hospital for a few days just for observation.."

"Absolutely not!" Nan tried to shout, stopping the doctor in mid flow.

"I am discharging myself and going home, I'm not fucking staying here!"

I was shocked but not really surprised to hear that come out of Nan's mouth. She was one feisty cow.

"Now look here boy," Nan started before the doctor could get a word in, "I get that you're a doctor and all that but I am telling you now that I will do better at home. Am I going to die?"

"Well, uh….I can't really…"

"I know you can't tell me yes or no boy but I AM going home so get me the required paperwork." Nan told him in that quiet stern way that all grandparents seem to master, then turned to me.

"Don't even think 'bout telling me to stay in this hospital, I want to go home. I am not dying right now and I will not die here."

Nan sounded so strong but I could see her lip quiver with emotion as she finished her sentence.

As much as I disagreed with Nan about leaving the hospital, I knew how much the thought of dying here scared her. My grandfather went into hospital after a fall that broke his hip and he never came home. He caught an infection a few days before he was supposed to leave and never made it.

I swallowed down the thick lump in my throat and gave Nan a small smile and nodded in agreement with her.

"I'm gonna call Jake." I told her and stepped outside while Nan took a deep breath and rested her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes.

The doctor followed me out of the room and made a quick exit mumbling to himself about getting the paperwork in order.

I noticed that my hands shook as I pulled my phone back out to update Jake and noticed a message off Edward.

Hey, I'm just headed into class but message me to let me know what's going on. You're still my best friend, Bella x

I felt like I had been punched in the throat. My eyes filled up and I sucked in air like I had just breached the surface of a lake that was dragging me down.

That's what it felt like around Edward, even though my heart ached for him, he was my oxygen.

The problem I had was did I fall back into old habits and spill my guts to Edward or did I keep my distance?

Before I could dwell on that question anymore, call it divine intervention or whatever but I spotted Emily walking down the corridor with Jacob in tow.

"Chica!" Jacob shouted at me with a big smile on his face. "I heard Nonnie gave Dr Tightass a good telling off."

"Babe," Emily giggled from behind her hand, "Calling him Dr Tightass is not the insult you think it is."

Jacob looked confused and I fought to keep the grin off my face as he pushed past us into Nan's room.

"Knew it would take more that a good seeing to, to finish you off, Nonnie."

I could hear Nan's chuckle from outside and a slap sound that I assumed was her telling him off.

I looked at Emily and I could see that she wanted to talk to me privately. I nodded my head to the direction of the nurse's station and she followed me.

"You know this won't be easy, right?" Emily asked me, placing a caring hand on my arm.

"I know." I replied with a small smile.

I exhaled.

"She's going to need a lot more care and I hate to think about the fight you're going to have on your hands with that one but I do think Nonnie will be much happier at home." Emily said in her usual caring way.

"You're right on both counts." I said sardonically. "She's going to fight me every step of the way, but I love her and if this is what she wants, who am I to say no?" I reply with a shrug.

Emily placed her arm around me and gave my shoulders a slight squeeze of comfort.

"You've got us, Alice and I just know that if you asked him, Emmett would be there for you in a heartbeat." She said with a smug ass grin.

I gave a small chuckle at that statement but didn't bother to reply.

"I just want to get her home and settled, nothing else matters right now." I told Emily as we made our way back into Nan's room.

I could see that some of the light had returned to her eyes as Jacob regaled her with the dramatics of Nan's heart attack.

"I swear, Nonnie, you nearly had half the town here last night. I don't think you realise how many people love you." Jake told her smiling down at her, as he gently caressed her hair back from her face.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and when I got it out I saw it was another message from Edward.

Everything ok? X

I took a deep breath and thought for a second about what I was going to write in reply.

Looking at Nan and Jacob, I couldn't help but smile.

I didn't feel sad, worried but not sad, and even though Nan was smiling and itching to get home, I knew that it wasn't going to be an easy ride.

Edward had been my constant for so long and even though I loved him so much, I missed my friend too. Could I have that? Have my friend?

I thought for a few seconds about how to reply and came up blank. I thought about my earlier reaction to hearing his voice and replied without even thinking.

Can I call you? xx

I held my breath as I saw the bubble come up that shows the other person is typing and waited for his reply.

My day is pretty packed and I don't want to rush this conversation, can I call you tonight? There's so much we need to talk about x

It felt like a thousand butterflies had been released into my stomach when I read his message. I bit my bottom lip while typing out my reply.

Tonight xx

….