Hello! I'm just starting to write again at the inspiration of ByWillowy. I know I'm not as good a writer as I would like to be.. But I was reminded that it was fun and that you can only get better the more you write. So I dedicate this story to ByWillowy for inspiring me to pick up my pen again. :) I know I'm not that good and feeling really rusty.. But I hope you will enjoy the read. THANK YOU! -P.S. A little A/U, I incorparated Hotch and Morgan into my story because I miss them lol.

It took 3 seconds.. Only 3 seconds, for a 14 year old secret to break through, what she believed, was an impenatrable steel wall. Made that way with countless years, days, hours, minutes, and seconds of maintaining her self control. Control not to let her eyes show the longing in them, her fingers to show their anxiousness and trembling, her heart to stay in its cage and remain quiet. In all of 3 seconds, those years of emotional turmoil and tears became something she endured for absolutely nothing.. The deepest secret she kept locked in her heart was forcibly extracted by this.. this.. no one!.. This.. monster of a man, had just taken it from her..

"Hot Dam.. Now thats what I'm talking about." Their captor gestured with a shake of his gun. "Those are some last words right there.. But not enough to save your life."

(BANG!)

She closed her eyes as the sound of the bullet whistled past her, and all she thought was how fitting of an end it felt to be in this moment. Realization finally hit her when she found herself to be breathing still, heart pumping wildly in her chest. Slowly she opened her eyes to stare at the now, lifeless body of their captor laying between them. As the initial shock started to wear, she lifted her eyes to her savior and found him staring directly at her. His breathing heavy, and labored as he rested his head back against the desk side behind him, trying to calm his racing heart, never breaking eye contact with her. And as he watched her she could feel the change behind those eyes causing a shiver down her spine. (Good or bad she didn't know..)But he was looking at her in a way he had never done before, and that terrified her..

He broke contact first as their breathing had become level again. He finished removing the bonding that remained from his wrists and holstered his gun back to his ankel. She watched as he hauled himself to his feet, using the assistance of the desk edge behind him. (With the threat now gone the adrenaline had worn off leaving their limbs weak and trembling with relief) After a moment of standing firm on his feet he turned his attention to her. He said nothing as he approached, coming around behind her and placing his hands on each side of her waist, lifting her up onto her feet. She held her breath and tried to control her tremble at the contact, as his hands lingered on her. Her heart pumping the blood through her veins at an irregular rate, causing her cheeks to flush to an unwanted shade of crimson (She spent years perfecting her control on the treacherous muscle, and now she felt like a beginner all over again with a heart that was refusing to cooperate.) She knew his lingering hold was just to make sure that her limbs were capable to support her, there was no other reason, and with that thought she felt a sharp pain settle in her chest.

When he finally did release her she felt the loss of his warm touch. Deep down in her bones she honestly wished he'd never let go.. But this wasn't a fairy tale ending. The world was too cruel for that.. And it was time to face reality she finally turned to thank him she found the words lodged in her throat. She attempted swallowing a few times, hoping they would finally cooperate, but still they refused to come out. She noticed he was watching her again with that same look. The terror within her was rising with every passing second his eyes were locked onto hers. He made it impossible for her to look away..

Her relief was immediate as the team suddenly rushed in, breaking the moment and giving her the capablity to place herself back into the situation they were in. She rushed to the victims yelling out information and directing the medics to where their attention was a priority. She didnt trust herself to look back without losing herself again.. So she never did..

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"Did you mean it?"

With his question she felt herself crumbling. Why she thought she could convince him that it was all a ruse, a show to stall and buy time she didn't know.. It was pointless to try, the damage was done and there was no denying that she meant it. He would never believe her, because when she had said it, she said it with her heart. They weren't just words, and he no doubt felt the sincerity and truth within them.

He knew the answer already. It was clearly reflected in the way she looked at him. She didn't even try to hide it this time, she knew it was too late.. She attempted to make a verbal reply, but before she could get the words to come out she felt a hand come up to rest on her shoulder. "Guys they're about to cut the cake."

She didn't know if she was upset or relieved by the interuption of their friend, but she found her voice and smiled, making her reaction positive. "Great, we'll be right there."It was enough of a response to have their friend make her way back toward the celebratory group, leaving them once again alone. She was not sad to see her go.

After a few seconds, she saw him make ready to walk away from her and she couldn't help the panic that took over as she placed her trembling hand over his chest preventing him from leaving. She didn't know what posessed her to react but the thought of him walking away from her at this moment scared her for some reason.. Almost as if she would, somehow never see him again if she let him go.. Which was stupid. Right?.. As her hand rested over his chest she could feel the warmth, and the steady beat of his heart on her finger tips, the contact sending that same warmth through her veins.

"Its ok." He said.

Her hand slowly fell to her side.

"Everythings ok."

'It was?.. It is?.. Thats all he had to say? That 'everythings just ok?' Well maybe for him, but not for her!.. She felt herself go numb with his words, a deep chill replacing the warmth and causing a lack of the strength to challenge him. And she hated herself for that.. "Ok".. Was all she managed to get out. And with that last pathetic, and soft spoken word, she felt her heart seize as she turned and left him there at the bar, commanding her limbs to return her to the group of happy faces and congragulatory cheers. He never tried to stop her as she went, but god, how her heart wanted him to..

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Walking into the office instantly felt like she was treading into foreign territory. She didn't know what was wrong with her, but everything felt to have shifted on its side, even though everything was exactly the same as it had always been. As usual she was the first one to arrive at work, she knew the others would follow in shortly. But she also knew that 'He' would be the next one to arrive. He always was, as they had a routine to have coffee together every morning in the break room prior to starting the day. It was considered their 'thing'.But with her confession still lingering in the air, making her heart pound with the memory still so fresh.. She'd be lying to herself if she claimed to know what to expect now.. But he had told her that 'everything was ok'.. So why expect things to change? He obviously didn't.. So to the breakroom she headed, making the traditional 2 cups of coffee, his with 2 shots of cream and 6 teaspoons of sugar,( because of course she knew how he liked it, she'd been making it for years) She placed them on the circular table, one in front of her and the other in its usual position right across. Pulling up a chair she sat with her trembling hands firmly wrapped around the warm porcelain in front of her and waited anxiously..

"Hey."

Her head bounced up so fast when she heard his voice she had to close her eyes for a second to get the room to stop spinning. Her heart picking up its tempo, then slowly relaxing when he spoke again.

"Sorry girl, didn't mean to scare ya? Just came in to grab myself a cup. You ok?"

It took her a moment to respond as she looked up at the clock above the doorway. "Hey Morgan, yea, I'm good, just a.. just an eventful weekend thats all." She checked her watch to compare with clock on the wall, making sure what she saw was correct.. It was.. "Sorry I must have dozed off for a few minutes.." She finished, as she looked across her, finding 2 now room tempature cups of coffee. She felt a tightness develop in her chest when she pieced it together.. He didn't come...

"Ah ha! Whoever said moms don't get to party after they have children." Morgan said, giving her shoulder a light shove, and a playful smile, before adding, "Hey, you seen pretty boy this morning? Kind of odd, me getting here before him.. Maybe he had an 'eventful' weekend too." He said jokingly, with a wink in her direction. Joking or not she felt her stomach clinch and sink with his pun. But she was a professional, she could play it off well. "Yea well, you never know. Guess you'll have to drill him for details when he gets in." She joked, giving him the best smile she could muster.

"What am I getting drilled for?"

Her eyes snapped in his direction when she heard his voice, causing her heart rate to jump off grid. He wasn't looking at her and she was actually glad for it, because she was sure if he was watching her that he'd be able to see her heart pounding through her blouse. Even with being at the other side of the room. She was concentrating so hard on calming down the drumming in her chest that she wasn't paying attention to the banter going back and forth between her colleagues. After a few minutes she vaguely made out Morgans voice as he mentioned he'd see them on the floor as he walked by her and exited the room. With Morgan gone she slowly looked up to rest her eyes once again on her best friend. He still wasn't looking at her, his gaze was focused over the cups that were still set, untouched on the table. She watched as he slowly picked up the cup she had prepared for him and walked over to the sink, dumping the contents down the drain. He didn't look at her when he spoke. "Sorry, I was running late so I just brought coffee from home. Thanks anyway." And with that he exited the room without a glance in her direction. He lied to her... Everything was not ok...

And that's the 1st chapter.. Like or comment if you enjoyed what you read please! I would really appreciate it! :) I hope to have the next chapter up shortly. THANKS for reading!