Chapter 1 - Things fall apart

Dhadhak Dhadhak Dhadhak

She so desperately wanted to clutch at her grieving heart, in some small attempt to hold back the pain his venomous words caused; but it was of little use. He had said his bit and so had she.

For the first time, Gauri didn't hold back, she didn't allow any of his preconceived notions to cloud his judgement any further. The truth had been laid bare for both to see; one misunderstanding after another. His hate for her had made him blind to any truth she wanted to share with him, clouded his rational thought and infected his heart against her. He had cursed himself for loving her so but mostly he had cursed her, placing blame for something he could not fully understand, and when she could bear it not more, when his accusations hurts so bad, it felt like he was ripping her heart right from her chest, she finally fought back. She was quiet no longer. Her rage was mightier than her Sankar-ji, her words, each one like a hot knife to his stomach as she finally spoke her heart.

Omkara didn't know what to do but stand there, taking in everything she was saying to him… in English. When had that happened? He wondered but his thoughts were soon coloured in shame when he realised just what it was he had misunderstood. When he came to know the truth of what she had actually been trying to tell him, he couldn't believe he had misread everything so. But he had been so wrong. He watched in nothing less than shock as she tore the letter up before him and then at last his greatest fear reared as he watched her walk away from him, the pallu of her white sari trailing after her. He stared, wondering if she would look back, but she didn't. He had finally drove her away.

He felt his chest tighten, tears threatening to fall as he knelt down to pick up the torn letter she had so lovingly wrote to him, in the classes she had secretly taken so that he would be proud of her. His wife.

Dear Omkara-ji

I love you

Your wife

Gauri

He felt the knife twist deeper, hearing her confession and seeing the proof almost mockingly before him. He hadn't thought to stop he as she walked away, and it would only add to the many great things he would regret when he thought of his wife. He closed his eyes, drawing heavy breathes and clutching the torn pieces of her letter; holding on to what little tactile proof he had of her love, for surely she would no longer love him. Not after the terrible awful accusations he had thrown at her, not after the judgements he had made on her character; such thoughts consuming him with guilt. Gauri would surely not forgive him after how he had treated her, especially when she had never once asked for anything in return. He realised she had been right about that, of course she was right. He had merely assumed she was wrong based on a misunderstanding. He had never truly given her the chance to explain, not when she was running from Kali Thakur and not when Bua-ma had been trying to hurt him. She had never asked for anything, he realised, not a single thing and yet he had always been so quick to hurt her. His rage had always been far greater than his love, and it was unbelievable to think, but he did love her. He loved Gauri so much, it had hurt to think of her with someone else. It had hurt to think of her what he had assumed was her betrayal and knowing how much he loved her. But he had never said so, and he certainly never truly showed it… and yet she had loved him. At every turn, at every insult, at every misconception, she had still loved him.

Shame filled him so deep, he wondered if it were possible to drown in it. He turned looking around, hoping to see her, hoping to stop her and explain – if she would let him – how sorry he was. He would accept any punishment she was fit to bestow upon him. He would gladly take it for he knew he deserved it. But she was gone; no sign that had been there but for the pieces of paper in his hand.

A thought struck him then, an urgency to speak with Gauri's teacher, perhaps in some way hoping that he would validate everything Gauri had confessed.

It didn't take him too much time tracking down Gauri's English teacher. Omkara was filled with unimaginable guilt as Arjun looked at him with a smile.

"You're Gauri's Omkara-ji?" he had asked with a smile. Omkara could only mutely nod. Gauri's Omkara-ji, he did like the sound of that very much.

"Gauri is one of my best students," Arjun had gone on to say, "You must be very proud of her."

"I…" Omkara stopped. There wasn't anything he could say to that. He had always been proud of her, just too ashamed to admit it to himself.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think Gauri has class today," Arjun had said with a confused frown.

Omkara didn't bother to correct him, and a moment later, Arjun was called away.

He knew then that he had to go after her. Omkara knew then that he had to find her. He had to make it known to her that he was sorry. He hadn't realised how wrong he had been. He had never stopped to think that he could be wrong. But he had to try to make her understand just how wrong he was and most importantly just how sorry he was; and if he was lucky he would be given a chance to tell her that he loved her.

Arjun had returned a moment later, "Mr Oberoi you're still here," he commented.

"Y-yes. I'm looking for Gauri," Omkara replied.

"As I said, Gauri does not have class today," Arjun responded frowning.

Omkara nodded and quickly looked away, "She did mention she had to go home some time back," Arjun added as an after thought, "I had thought that meant home to you but shaayad …" he trailed off looking uncertainly at Omkara.

Omkara looked at him in earnest. He knew immediately where she was heading; Bareilly. She would go home for Gauri believed there was nothing left for her in Mumbai. She had released him from their vows. The tie that had bound them together for so long was no longer there. He heart ached hearing Arjun so confidently say that he had thought Gauri's home was Omkara… had she really loved him that much?

Omkara had stood contemplating it for some time. He had yet tell Shivaay and Rudra about all of this. He didn't know if he had the courage or the strength to relive his wife leaving him again. He would tell them later, he decided. He had made a complete mess of everything and it was up to him, not his brothers to try and fix it. He would not worry them unless he had to.

So he hastily made plans to go to Bareilly, hoping to find everything he had lost; hoping to find his love again.

}{}{}{}{}{

Shaayad – maybe

AN: Hello dear readers!

So I've had this story sitting pretty for a while and have finally worked up the courage to post it. It's been a new challenge for me so I would very much appreciate

your thoughts on it! Tell me what you think. I have the first few chapters ready and will post them relatively soon.

This story is predominately about Omkara and Gauri but will feature Shivaay and Anika obviously. It might not be completely canon as I have taken some

creative liberties here and there.

xoxo

Immortal Dragon Empress