She came to the world on a bright morning, flooded with the orange light of the sunrise. Surrounded by the forest, the smell of trees and moss.
She came with ease, calmness, and silence.
She came to the world with death by her side and death took the first toll - her mother.
She came to the world with hope. Hope to be loved, caressed, nourished.
She came to the world into the warm hands, holding her, lulling her.
She came with sadness, with tears touching her cheeks. Tears of loss and pain.
She came to the world with curious, wide-open eyes, bright blue like the sky, red hair and delicately pointed ears.
She came to the world with innocence, pure heart, and goodness, like every new-born.
She came with a name — Celia — the name of someone already forgotten, someone who was lost to her before she knew it.
She came with no expectations of the world, of the people.
She came to the world which destroyed her, hardened her heart and toughen her skin.
She came to the world with all that was good, pure and all of that was gone.
The world offered her trials, tribulations, doubts, and frustrations.
The world she came to was violent, merciless, full of joy and sorrow, anguish and pain.
Nonetheless, the world gave her a man, her father, a promise of another tomorrow. The greatest gift of all that's what he was.
In the world without a home, he was her rock, her solitude, her teacher and her guardian.
The world is not dangerous because of those who do harm but because of those who look at it without doing anything, he reminded her.
Barefaced like her he had no home, no past, no clan.
He belonged nowhere and everywhere.
Curious, bright blue eyes observed him and belonged with him — throughout the hands that held her when she was born, the warm voice calming her, his magic which he was wielding proudly, his dreams he described beautifully and his love which he shared endlessly with her.
The world destroyed her so she could be saved.
The world gave her magic — frightening, tingling sensation on the tips of her fingers. The power she knew but couldn't control, couldn't comprehend.
Her mind felt too tight, her body too small to contain it.
I will teach you to control it, my daughter.
That he did.
Her father kept secrets. Secrets he shared only with his diary — a thick, leather notebook.
It will be yours once I am gone, Celia. Be patient.
So she was.
Her father taught her patience.
He gave her travels — through forests, meadows, mountains, old ruins.
He gave her knowledge of reading and writing, of cities, villages, and clans. Knowledge of the history of the world, the language of ancient elves and skills to survive.
He gave her wolves, terrifying animals which she befriended.
He gave her Fen'Harel — the legend, the tale, the statues seen in many parts of the land and the man who once lived.
He gave her love — the fairytale she never knew and never felt.
You can't hurry love, force it. When you love you just do, and you enjoy every second spent with them.
Appreciate it cause loved one comes and go.
So she listened and believed him.
He gave her everything he could but still, he kept his secrets.
He took her to towns, taught how to stay hidden, how to speak with humans and trade with them. He taught her when to lie when, to tell the truth.
He taught her the mastery of cleverness — to lie with the truth.
He taught her when to speak and when to spare the words.
He took her to city elves and Dalish.
He took her to many places that taught her the truth she already knew — she did not belong anywhere and everywhere.
He taught her the taste of blood and murder. He gave her a comparison between killing and surviving.
He did whatever he could to prepare her for the world.
He did not fail.
Dalish. Elves. People.
They gave her forced vallaslin to ground her to convince her she belongs, to release her from the influence of Fen'Harel.
They gave her a new name — Falherna. The anagram of the name of her beloved god.
He caught your scent a long time ago. You are doomed, they said.
Dalish taught her how to pitty them and avoid them, how to lie to them.
They showed her their stubbornness, their fears, and superstitions.
They called her mad, abomination. To them she was dangerous.
Still, they violated her carnality. Act against her will.
Once more the world destroyed her, so she could be saved.
Humans. Shemlens.
They killed her father, left her brokenhearted, burning with hatred.
They stained her hands with blood, woke something dark and grim inside her - she took pleasure in killing them.
For the last time, the world destroyed her.
This time she could not be saved.
A blank page in her life history. A void no one and nothing could fill.
Her father's secrets stayed out of her reach. The only token of his was locked by a spell. She had left with nothing.
The dark time came. Weeks, months full of anger, guilt, hate.
Self-destruction was her desire.
Loneliness reminded her every day about her loss.
Alienation was her choice.
Longing after what was lost did not want to leave her.
She just was.
Existing, breathing, observing, absorbing, functioning without interacting.
Fen. The wolf.
He came to her life in a forest on a day when life seemed senseless.
He gave her a second chance. A chance for redemption.
When they found each other, they were both wounded and alone.
He gave her her smile back, her heart and a purpose in life.
He saved her when the world did not care.
New life.
The world allowed her to start fresh.
She preferred forests, sleeping among the stars, but she traveled from one city to another.
Making contacts, making deals which could be advantageous in the future.
She had two lives — one with Fen, one without him.
Necessity.
That's what kept her in cities and clans.
She was the outsider, one who showed up and then disappeared when the necessities were fulfilled.
The world gave her loneliness.
Life without a companion. She accepted it, learn to live with it.
Still, she loved with all her heart.
She loved her wolf, loved nature, loved living.
She loved the man who once lived — Fen'Harel.
Dreams of him she kept close to her heart and the Fade sometimes responded to her unfulfilled desires.
Responded with grey fur and steel-blue eyes.
Lonely dreams were her companion.
She knew she could go with life alone.
Faron. City elf. Assassin.
He occasionally drifted through her life. He seemed so young with his impatience, impulsivity, and temper.
Still, she liked him. His fierceness, laughter, his honesty.
He gave her friendship, new abilities, and companions.
A new profession. A group of men.
Men who did not blindly follow something that others defined as the truth.
Individuals who were not limited by morality or laws.
Their lives were brief and unimportant. The world cared nothing for them.
Her new friends allowed her to seek redemption, not revenge. Gave her a new weapon and new clothes. They opened her eyes to the cruelty she only heard of before.
They made her a part of something important and big.
She felt important, strong.
The world seemed a better place for once. It almost felt like she belonged.
She felt saved.
Sabrae clan.
The light in the darkness.
She hunted for them, traded for them. Another necessity in her life but different from others.
Marethari. Keeper.
Woman of knowledge, open-minded, understanding.
She gave her a small flicker of hope. Hope for dialogue, respect, and connection between her and Dalish.
Yet the world had another plan — for some she still was a dangerous, mad outsider.
The world offered no peace, not even a short break.
She fought and endured. She was just a means to an end.
She accomplished her missions and left again.
Kirkwall.
The city of chains — metaphorically and literally.
It gave her desperate need to run back to Fen, forests, mountains, and seas.
Necessity and Faron made her stay, and so she did.
Days seemed long and dirty. Nights were too loud and uncomfortable.
She did not complain. It was more she ever had — a bed, an armor, friends, and food.
The world gave her a break, peace of mind. For a time there was only a job, evenings with her crew and nights filled with dreams.
Yet, Kirkwall made her anxious.
Something was in the air. Something unsettling.
She blessed the world when she left it behind.
Now. The conclave.
Standing on a hill near the forest, she looked at the horizon thinking on Anders's actions, Merrill, The Keeper, and the people she left behind.
She shook her head at the thought.
The world was about to change.
The Conclave was near and the fate of all people depended on the negotiations, which were soon to begin.
She felt the upcoming danger, the air smelled of electricity as though before a storm, ozone was palatable in the growing wind and the sky had taken on a strange sea like color, neither blue nor green.
Templars and Mages were approaching from either side of the world, entrusting their hope in the Most Holy Divine Justinia, and in her idea to stop the conflict which had been growing more and more dangerous for months.
Fen howled loudly and his fur ruffled.
She patted his head, speaking quietly "I can feel it too, my friend".
Grey eyes lingered on her face for what felt like the longest time and her hand stayed on his back, petting and comforting the animal.
"You must go now. I'll find you, ma Fen" she kneeled beside him.
The wolf howled again touching her hand with his wet nose "Fen'Harel will guide you. We will meet again".
She petted him, delighted by the warmth of his body and roughness of his fur. She rose slowly, moving her gaze back to the horizon and to the Temple of Sacred Ashes.
"Go now" her voice was unyielding.
Goodbyes to the ones you love had to be made quickly, without unnecessary words.
The animal stayed at her side for another moment, then with a flick of his tail, he made his way slowly into the forest.
There was no need to watch over him.
The wolf knew how to find a way back to her.
In a few hours, she would meet him again, in the forest near Haven.
Her lips stretched into a smile when she thought about spending more time with her wolf.
The last mission was short ahead, and then she would be saved from the world for good.