One for Sorrow

Pairing: McRoll

Spoilers for season 10 - Episode 7

Chapter - 50

It was now late afternoon and everyone was sitting around the backyard in deck chairs or camp chairs, food had been eaten and now was the tradition of going around the circle and everyone saying what they were thankful for.. While some families did it before the meal, they choose to do it after so they could enjoy their food without it getting cold, and that was how Steve always loved to do thanksgiving..

Catherine and Mary decided that Steve should go last, so it started with Junior who had his parents here with him and he and Tani were still flirting around with he idea of being together, "First, I'd like to say I'm thankful for Steve who gave me a home when I needed one.. and to my parents for being here today.. I know it's hard not having Maya here, but it means a lot that you two are here today. I'd also love to thank Tani for helping me to transition back to life on the land".

Tani blushed softly but smiled as his mother went next, her husband holding her hand looking directly at Steve, "I'm thankful that you took a chance on our boy, and that you have kept him safe and given him a roof over his head.. As a mother, you have no idea how grateful I am for that". Steve smiled and nodded to her, "you are welcome", he mouthed to her.. Junior's father went next and he sighed softly, not knowing what to say at first, but then came the words.. "I'm thankful that my son and I are on better terms.. After we lost Maya, I was so scared of losing our only other child that I turned against him when he wanted to join the Navy.. Now I realise, the Navy helped to shape him into the man he is today, and I'm proud of the man he has become".

Koa coughed, smiling a little shyly as he sipped on her beer and then spoke softly.. "I guess what I am thankful for is my sister Tani.. I can't say the last couple of years has been easy on her, dealing losing her father and then with a brother who was battling addiction, but she never gave up on me.. I'm grateful and thankful that you all have welcomed me with open arms into your Ohana". He looked down for a moment and then back up, "I thought when my Dad died, Tani and I were alone in the world, but now I know that isn't the case, so thanks".

Adam nodded and smiled towards Koa and lifted his own beer in thanks, and then Tani smiled, sitting beside Junior.. "I'm just thankful to not be sitting alone for thanksgiving and that Steve and Danny took a chance on me, even when they know I was kicked out of the academy.. It was a hard time in my life and I didn't want anyone to cut me slack for what I knew was a mistake, but they took me in and gave me a home.. and then through them, I met my best friend, Junior". She gazed over at him and smiled shyly, they still were in that friends to lovers transition stage and hadn't had much time to think of what to do or say next.

Sitting there taking it all in was Adam and he sighed softly.. This year had been hard for him, and he had his own ups and downs as well, "When I lost my father, and then my brother Michael, I had no family left on the island.. All my remaining family lived in Japan, and though I know Steve, Danny and especially Chin were suspicious of me, and wondering why I was with a member of five-o, I quickly gained their trust when I saved Kono's life… I always wondered what would happen if Kono and I didn't last, and if I'd still be welcome into this Ohana Steve has created, The day Danny and Steve found out about Kono and I, they made sure to reassure me I was still welcome by giving me a five-o badge, and that.. that is what I am thankful for.. for making me realise I still had family here on the island when I felt at my worst".

Duke stood up, he was going to speak for his family, Laura was always a little shy around a lot people, "Laura and I grateful for everything all three of the McGarrett men have done for this Island and our country.. I didn't know Steve's grandfather, but he sacrificed his life so we could enjoy our lives… John McGarrett, he saved me when I was only a rookie cop and took me under his wing and helped me become the man and cop I am today, and Steve.. Well, from the moment I learnt that John McGarrett's son was back on the island and had taken up the offer too lead the governor's taskforce, I knew the John would be proud… One thing you need to know if you don't already about Steve McGarrett is his loyalty.. Once you have earned his loyalty, you will never truly lose it".

Steve smiled and nodded, "Mahalo", he answered back to the older man quietly, Catherine leaning in to kiss his cheek.. She loved hearing that about her man, how much of an impact he had on people's lives, and was so proud of him. She knew from the moment she met him, that he was just in another league, there was a lot of men that loathed the fact a woman was taking a man's spot, but Steve, Freddie and a few others always encouraged her and made her feel welcome with them.

When Quinn ended up being demoted, she felt like she had lost a sense of her identity and wasn't sure if she wanted to continue with the Army, though not long after, she met Steve and Danny and ohh boy what a meeting that was… "Before I met Steve and Danny, I was struggling.. I had not long gone through a divorce, and was trying to work my way through those emotions and having too leave my step daughter, that I rebelled.. I did something that got me demoted and I was wondering if I still waned to be in the Army". She smiled softly, "Then luck had it.. my case over lapped with five-o's and I had the honour of meeting Steve and Danny, and then to asked to join the taskforce… Steve has given me a family, a family I was longing for, and missing when I left my marriage, and for that I'll never be able to thank him enough".

Kammie had been listening intently and through he knew a lot of them didn't take him seriously all the time, he knew that he was lucky to have such amazing family.. If not for them, he might find himself still a criminal himself.. "I'm thankful that you all have supported my business ventures over the years.. I know I have some crazy ideas sometimes, but I appreciate you all having my back, and supporting me and Flippa especially Steve.. He is always the first one to back me".

Sitting in her mother's lap was Joan, she was half asleep, but she whispered to her mother that she wanted to go next, and she smiled, turning her around to face everyone.. "I'm so happy and thankful to be back on the island with the people that mean the most to Mommy and I.. I used to miss Uncle Steve a lot when I lived in California and now I get to see him more often". She took a breath and smiled softly looking at her Uncle, "I love you Uncle Steve". Steve leaned over and kissed his niece on the cheek and whispered back, "I love you too Joanie".

With a deep breath, Mary decided she may as well follow on after her daughter… "I'm thankful that we get to be here as a family together today.. We might not be a conventional family by any means but we are family and I'm so grateful for that.. For the longest time I was alone in the world, I only had Aunt Deb, I hadn't seen Dad, Mom or Steve in many years and then when Dad died, I decided it was the wake up call I needed to start to really put my life together and be a woman that my Dad and Steve could be proud of. That's when I adopted Joan, and while I know Steve was skeptical at first of my ability to be a parent, however his support has never once wavered, and he really is like another parent to her.. We'll never be able to thank you for all your love and support".

Lori smiled, her husband standing by her side as she sat with their son in her arms sleeping and she looked towards Steve and Danny, the only two besides Catherine that she still knew in this group. "I'm thankful that I was fortunate enough to know Steve, Danny, Chin and Kono and for the opportunity I was given with my time with five-o. I'm also thankful to Steve for accepting my resignation as going back to the mainland introduced me to my now husband, and I'm grateful to be back in Hawaii now".

There seemed to be a theme surrounding these speeches and all revolved around Steve, and while he didn't like the spotlight on him, he was more then a little tickled pink at all these people he called family thanking him, and he squeezed Catherine's hand feeling a little teary who looked back smiling at him.

Noelani had been nervous when she took over from Max, but HPD and Five-o had really made her feel so welcome and at home that she felt like she was Ohana very early on. "When I got the job taking over from Max, I was nervous to say the least, but Duke, Steve, Danny and the five o team made me feel so welcome and like I

have always been one of the gang, it helped me so much so thank you to all of you for making my journey as medical examiner easier, it's wonderful to have all your support".

When Lou first met Commander Steve McGarrett, he had to admit he didn't like him at all, but the two men worked hard to establish a good working environment and from then, they became good friends. "I'll be honest.. Steve and I didn't get along at all, however as time went by, we were able to work through our issues, and I'm thankful to have him by my side as my friend and colleague". He smiled softly, and added, "I'm also thankful of my beautiful wife Renee and our two children Samantha and Will, I don't know where I'd be without them in my life".

Renee was in Chicago with her parents and the kids, and while Lou wanted to go as well, with all that was going on with Steve, he decided to stay put.. He missed his family but Renee had been supportive of his decision to stay on the island.

Danny had been through so much with Steve over the time they knew each other and while they might have gotten off to a not so good start, he was his brother and best friend now. "I was missing my family a lot when I came here, my parents, siblings and it was only a year after my divorce was finalised from Rachel and I was still grieving the end of my marriage and then I met Steve… He has this ability to just be there when you need him, and I consider him to be my brother and best friend and I'm so thankful that he has been in my life for the last ten years".

For Grace, she never felt comfortable being on the island till she was introduced to her Dad's work friends. She loved being with her mother and step father however her fathers work friends always included her in things they did and especially for her Dad's work partner Steve, he always treated her like a niece and she loved the bond she shared with him.

"Uncle Steve has always been there for me, and always treated Charlie and I as his family, and not just his work partner's kids, and when I had my accident, he did everything he could to work out what happened and deal with the guy who was harassing Katie and I.. I don't know if he knows this, but he is one of my best friends, and I'll never forget what an impact he has had on not only my life, but Charlie's and Danno's".

Steve nearly choked up at that, he didn't realise that he had that much of an impact on Grace, but then when he really thought about it, she was only around eight years of age when he first met her, and now she was only several months off of being eighteen and officially being an adult and that despite not knowing her for the first eight years of her life, he never felt he had missed out or loved her any less. Catherine smiled seeing the look on his face and squeezed his hand more, knowing what it meant to him.

Charlie had been going to say something as well, however he had fallen asleep on his dad's lap and Danny didn't have the heart to wake him so he decided that he would leave him as he was, though his transplant was a huge success and he wasn't sick anymore, he still got a bit tired easily sometimes when he had been playing hard throughout the day.

Catherine swallowed back a lump in her throat, and took a breath… "I'm thankful for a lot of things, though one thing I am most grateful for and thankful for is this man sitting right beside me here.. I met him when I first began at the Naval academy in 1996, and it's been a wild ride these last twenty three years.. Many ups and downs along the way, and through all of it, one thing has never wavered, and that has been his support of my decisions.. Even when I knew it had hurt him, he still supported me fully.. He has helped shape who I am today, and has made me realise just how incredibly lucky I am to have found love with him.. I fell in love with him early on, but we never took it further till six years after we first met and throughout everything, my love for him has never gone, it's only grown stronger through the years".

He squeezed her hand the way she had been for him, smiling softly, his own eyes tearing up a little at her words, his heart skipping a beat, "I'm thankful he has given me this chance, and I promise to you all here and now, that I don't ever intend on going anywhere else ever again unless it's with him.. We have seen the best and worst of each other and still our love grows strong.. I also am thankful that you all have supported me coming back.. I know after what happened, it's hard to put that trust back in me, but I am not going to let any of you down".

She then moved closer to him, and leaned her forehead on his, gazing into his eyes whispering words just for him, "I love you Steve", before kissing him softly and lovingly on his lips, "love you too Cath", came his own whispered words softly as he returned her kiss and smiled as she pulled away to go back to her seated position.

All eyes were now on him and he took in a breath and exhaled slowly, looking at all the people there that were there to celebrate Thanksgiving with him.. "Well, I think we all know what I'm thankful for, and that is all of you.. When anyone comes home from the military, especially when you have made the decision to retire, or resign, or because you have been wounded in battle, it's always hard to lose those sea legs.. It took me a long time to adjust to being back on land and having a a more stable life where I was living in one place for longer then a month or two.. I was grieving the loss of two great men.. My Dad and my best friend and brother Freddie.. I felt like I was sinking, but along the way, I realised that I had people that genuinely cared for me, and I slowly began to see my place in the world again, I began to swim.. though my father didn't want me to be a cop, it's in the blood.. My Grandfather wanted to be a Detective when he retired from the Navy, and my Dad was in the force after he left the Navy, and so I knew I was destined to follow in their footsteps".

His brow creased like it always did when he was thinking and focusing, "It took me a long time to realise that family didn't have to be blood and that I'm not alone in this world.. Catherine was the first and for a long time the only person I opened up till, and even then it took me a while to fully open up to her as well.. Mary and I felt abandoned when we thought mom had died, and then when Dad shipped us off to the mainland.. We both dealt with it in our own ways, and we managed to come through it", looking over at Mary with a now sleepy Joan in her arms, he smiled and winked towards them.. "We are stronger and closer for the experiences we have had to go through and I'm lucky to have my sister and niece close again in geographical sense".

Keeping a hold of Catherine's hand, he smiled, loving how she calmed him just by touching him, and rubbing the back of his hand with her fingers, "I'm really thankful for Catherine, for finding a life partner who knows what it's like to be in the military and truly understands how your mind words and what you are constantly faced with each and every day.. I always wondered why neither of us could make it work with other people, and then it hit me.. They just didn't truly understand the complexity and complicated minds that we have.. I don't speak about this often as I don't wish to be a burden to you all, however Catherine knows my PTSD, and how I struggle with what I've seen, and done.. because she has the innate intimate knowledge and understanding as well.. She's always been my anchor and the one to chase away the nightmares.. and with all my heart, I'm grateful to be getting the chance we have always deserved together".

Chuckling as he thought about when he met Danny for the first time, he shook his head still trying to find the right words for the man that had become his best friend, work partner and brother, "I know Danny and always seem to argue and have these disagreements with each other or carguments as I know you all like to call them, but honestly, coming back to the island after being away for so long.. It wasn't easy and apart from Chin and Duke whom I'd only ever really knew from reputation, I didn't reconnect with anyone from my high school days.. A lot of them left the island and a lot of them I just didn't feel like I'd fit in anymore, but what Danny didn't realise at first and I don't think even I recognised at first was I was just trying to find my place in the world again, and that I wanted to make fresh connections, and with Danny, I feel and always felt comfortable just being myself. I know Catherine and I will get there with a family, however I really want to thank you Danno for letting me be apart of your family, and letting me share in the joy of having kids in my life in some way.. One day you will get to be the Uncle in Cath and my kids lives as well".

He smiled softly at Danny and they nodded silently to each other.. Danny could tell that Steve was still struggling and while he knew the man would have good and bad days, he knew he was resilient and that he would get through this like every other struggle he has had to deal with in his life. It was Steve who got him through the loss of his brother Matty and there was nothing else that Danny wanted in this world then his best friend and brother happy. "Mary and I, We might not have had the best relationship as adults till Dad died, but I remember how I always used to love the fact Mary as a little girl saw me as someone she could trust, and wanted to be around.. I recall one night not long after Mom died, before he shipped us off and I found Mary on my floor in her blankets sound asleep and I didn't hesitate.. I picked her up and carried her into my bed and held her all night.. I often thought of that night Mary, when I was about to go on some high stakes mission overseas and hope to god that I'd make it out to show you that you aren't alone in this world.. The one good silver lining that came out of both our parents deaths, it's made us closer and while they should both be here with us, I'll always be grateful that I have you and Joan in my life".

There was so much more he wanted to say, and yet he knew his team.. Even if he didn't call them all out individually, he knew that they knew how important and vital they were to Steve.. They were more then just employee's to him, they were his family, his Ohana and regardless how long he had known them all for, they all had a special place in his heart.. When he got to the island to bury his father and find Victor Hesse, he didn't realise that he was ultimately setting himself up to put down roots and settle down, and though it took a while for him to learn to trust, the people in his inner circle, the ones here today had more then learnt his trust and loyalty.

The people around him knew how hard it was to break down those walls of a Sailor that had seen more then anyone else would ever want to see, and that is why they were all so honoured to even be here and considered his Ohana.. For a man like Steve McGarrett didn't come around often enough and as they sat there together as a family watching the sunset over his backyard which looked out onto the ocean, they all knew it didn't get much better then that.

Author Notes:

This has been an amazing journey so far on this story and I feel it's just getting better and better.. I hope you all enjoyed the last four chapters, I have put my heart and soul into these stories and I really enjoyed writing these last four.. I think chapter 51 will be about the video that Doris made for Steve, Mary and Joan and Catherine as well and then 52, I might do a bit of a time jump.. Maybe Christmas/New year 2019, and then get into 2020.. I originally was trying to write this in real time, however things get away from you, real life happens and then it ends up being more then a year since you started it and it's nowhere near finished yet.. I did recently go back and re-read this whole story and I will admit, I'm wondering did I write this.. I try not to be biased but it feels like one of my better works and I think I can only keep getting better. I am not sure if I will include the pandemic in the 2020 chapters.. I think I may just do a Magnum P.I season 3 and talk about it in the past sense as though it happened and now has been resolved, or not as much an issue now..

SteveMcGarrettLover:

Thank you so much for your lovely words, I just love writing the bond between niece and uncle.. I have a lot of Uncles myself and have had plenty of sweet moments with them over the years and am now an Aunt so I feel I understand that bond an Aunt/Uncle has with their Niece/Nephew. I love those moments in stories when you are thinking and focusing on your thoughts that you don't realise how you got somewhere. Sorry it's taken a while to update these but hopefully the four chapters will make it up.

Aloha50:

Thanks for the lovely words, I really love knowing my work is appreciated by the five-o fans. He certainly is a softie with his Ohana, and he is fiercely protective of them all. I hope you enjoy these four chapters.

Guest:

I've translated your comment through google translate so hopefully it's translated correctly. I agree, they are my one true pairing, and their love is very real and forever.. It's why I love writing these stories about Steve and Cath and especially about her finding her way back to her man because despite dating other people, they always know they are destined for each other. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy my take on it.