Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters sadly
I was writing this story while in dark place emotionally so I'm afraid it's a very sad one. I cried buckets while writing it but I hope you enjoy it. Please review it and let me know what you think. There will be about 6 chapters and is pretty much completed but I'm just doing final edits and while I'm in a better place emotionally doing my final edits is hard as I'm crying lots again as it is bringing up some tough memories so any reviews will help keep me going.
Hope you enjoy
Queenie
x
You Are Not Alone
Prologue
Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
But you are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone
'Lone, 'lone
Why, 'lone
Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
you are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
you are not alone
Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there
You are not alone
I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
you are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
you are not alone
I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
you are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone...
Not alone ohh
You are not alone
You are not alone
Say it again
You are not alone
You are not alone
Not alone, Not alone
If you just reach out for me girl
In the morning, in the evening
Not alone, not alone
You and me not alone
Oh together together
Not not being alone
Not not being alone
"You Are Not Alone"
Michael Jackson
Chapter 1- The Burden of the Past
Draco sat quietly in his chair, withdrawn from the conversation as Hermione sat on the couch beside Ron looking sadly at baby James as she rocked him to sleep. Ron was watching baby James with a pained look on his face. Sirius and Remus sat on the other couch talking in subdued voices about something that sounded important but Draco wasn't listening. He found he cared for very little these days, except for James. James was the only thing that kept Draco getting up in the mornings and he had long since given up on taking pride in his appearance as he once had. In fact, if he had been listening to Sirius and Remus' conversation, he would have realised how worried everyone was. He looked awful. He wasn't sleeping and his skin had a greyish tinge and his hair was lank and had lost its shine.
Draco was staring into his glass of elf wine, thinking of the first time he and Harry and their friends had ever drank from these very glasses. That had been a much happier occasion and it had been a wonderful day, despite the looming threat of Voldemort who was becoming far more active. Harry and Draco had married when they left school, with all their friends and extended 'family' there as they tied the knot. Everyone was so happy that day, beaming from ear to ear overjoyed at Harry and Draco's happiness. The glasses, expensive ones, had been a wedding present from Ron and Hermione, and they had all enjoyed a glass of wine together when Harry and Draco got back from their honeymoon and moved into their house together. The wine was a housewarming gift from Ron and Hermione too. They had drunk, laughed, and talked about all the adventures they had had and all the moments they had shared.
That was before. Before the darkness and the gaping hole that seemed to fill Draco's entire being. Before all their worlds were torn utterly apart, by two words uttered with complete contempt. Draco thought of Harry. His warm, loving smile, the innocent way he looked at you when he didn't understand something magical (which was a lot). Draco thought longingly of Harry's touch, the expert way Harry could send Draco to heights of pleasure he had never thought possible. Gone, forever. Just like that. He would never have those moments again. The only thing he had left was James, their son, now nearly two, but Draco found looking at James too painful. He so resembled Harry with his untidy mess of black hair, his nobly knees, his mouth and nose. James' eyes however, were the same as Draco's; beautiful grey eyes with long curling lashes.
James, like Harry, was already showing a natural talent for flying and he loved zooming around the garden on a toy broomstick that Ron had bought him. This thought briefly snapped Draco out of his stupor in time to hear Hermione say.
"He's Harry's double," she said with tears streaming down her face. "Except..."
"The eyes," Ron finished sadly. He looked up and saw Draco watching them. "The eyes are Draco's."
Draco hastily brushed away his tears.
"He's inherited Harry's natural talent on a broomstick too," Draco informed Ron. "He loves that broomstick you bought him. See here."
Draco went to the bookcase and pulled out a video album. (It looked like a photo album but instead of each page holding a photo, you opened it at a blank page and tapped it with your wand and it would record all the sights and sounds, like a Muggle video camera). He opened it at the last page and gave it to Ron. Sirius and Remus came and stood behind the sofa to watch. They all watched a clip of James zooming around the garden on the toy broomstick, his toes skimming the grass; he even managed a little loop the loop.
"He's a natural!" beamed Ron. "Harry would've been so proud."
"Sirius?" Remus asked. "Are you okay?" Sirius had turned white and looked close to tears.
"I gave Harry a toy broomstick just before...before Lily and James went into hiding. They sent me a picture of Harry zooming around the garden on it. I don't know what became of that picture when I went to Azkaban."
Baby James was now fast asleep looking more like Harry, as you could not see that the eyes were Draco's eyes. Draco turned away. He used to love watching James sleep, as Harry stood with his arms around his waist. Now every time Draco looked at James there was a sharp pain in his chest. It just reminded him too much of Harry and how much he missed him.
Hermione handed James to Ron who put James in his cot while Hermione came up behind Draco and gave him a hug. Draco melted into her arms and sobbed.
"I just miss him so much," he whispered. "I still can't believe he's never coming back."
"I know," Hermione replied stroking Draco's hair.
"And when I look at James all I can see is Harry and my heart breaks a little more each time, but I can't help but look at him. He's the only reason I get out of bed in the morning, but I don't sleep. I can't. I can't cope without Harry," Draco broke down completely sobbing in her arms, letting her stroke his hair and mutter calming words in his ear. Harry used to do that. 'Oh god, Harry I miss you so much,' Draco thought.
Over Draco's shoulder, Hermione gave a worried look to the others, who looked equally as worried and she knew they agreed. Draco needed help. He couldn't cope on his own and he needed their support, despite their own need to grieve properly for Harry now that all the press surrounding Harry's death had waned.
"Draco," Hermione said quietly. "We don't have to leave if you don't want us to. We can stay as long as you need and help you with James, so you can have time to grieve properly for Harry. On the other hand, if staying here is too painful we can stay wherever you want. We can all get through this together, if you want us to."
Draco looked up at Hermione hopefully, and then round the others and saw them all smiling at him. He was so grateful they wanted to help him. A part of him had wondered if they really liked him or if they were doing it because it is what Harry would have wanted and to see James. He realised now looking at them that the latter was stupid. He did them a great disservice to have thought that. Right from the start when they found out whom Harry had been sneaking off to see for most of the first term of their sixth year, they had been nothing but welcoming and forgiving for past sins. True Gryffindor's. For Harry they had made genuine attempts to get to know him and to become his friend.
"Four," Hermione had said. "Is the number our group should've been all along. Then everyone can have couple time without someone being left out."
Their genuine attempts to befriend him had made him realise what great friends he had missed out on having because of 'Slytherin pride'. All this had been done in secret though because Draco was terrified of his father, and what his father would do if he found out. Draco was extremely grateful to have these wonderful people as friends. He needed their help.
"Do you really mean it?" Draco asked after a couple of minutes. "Would you really stay?"
"Of course we mean it Draco, you're our friend and that's what friends do."
"Thank you, it's so hard to grieve for Harry and look after James. He doesn't really understand what's happened and he keeps asking where Harry is. I don't know what to tell him," Draco hiccupped. "I don't think I can bring myself to explain it."
"Do you want me to help James understand next time he asks about Harry?" Hermione asked.
"Would you?" Draco asked gratefully. "I think I would just burst into tears if I tried to explain it."
"Of course I will. Now what do you say we crack open another bottle of elf wine and we'll have a good laugh and cry about all the good times and the bad times we were lucky enough to share with Harry."
"I'd like that," Draco replied.
TBC