all we'll ever be
x M.L.B x
"should I smile because we're friends or cry because that's all we'll ever be?"
x M.L.B x
She never thought she would fall in love with Chat - not when there was Adrien in her life with his soft smile and kind eyes. Adrien was everything a girl wanted - a perfect gentleman and she wanted him badly for the first few years since she first met him.
Even with Lila, Chloe, Kagami and countless others trying to gain his affections, she never stopped loving him.
But . . .
She was seventeen now, nearing eighteen and since Ladybug's and Chat Noir's first debut as Paris' heroes and Hawkmoth decided to choose quality over quantity. While akumas would appear on average one a week, they were much more powerful and it forced her to give Alya, Nino, Chloe (ever since Master Fu discovered a piece of magic that could rid the citizens of any notion that Chloe Bourgeois could be Queen Bee, she's been wondering if that's a good thing) and Kagami permanent hold of their Miraculous'.
And with akumas came the inevitable pressure upon her shoulders. As the akuma's powers increased in power, so did the damage they inflicted upon Paris and she waited for the day when Miraculous Ladybug wouldn't fix everything.
That all seemed to disappear when Chat bounded in, however.
The best way she could describe Chat as was her best friend. He knew her more deeply that Alya could - maybe her own parents - and was always able to tell when she needed something (anything) to take her mind off the burden on her shoulders. And, no matter how corny or cheesy his jokes and puns were, they never failed to make her laugh.
She treasured those nights at the top of the Eiffel Tower, just her and Chat after a long patrol and laughing (sometimes dancing if the mood struck them) the night away. She craved those races across the rooftops, Chat right beside as they raced against each other, seeing who was faster (Chat won more often than not, but she told him she let him win).
In those moments, it was so easy to forget who she was. Forget that she was baker's daughter who had to get up early the next morning and got to school or that she was a heroine with powers that could save the world or destroy it if she failed.
Then Ryuko came swinging in with her witty comments, graceful moves and unflinching determination and she pretends to not notice the looks she began to send Chat and not long after, the looks he returned.
She's confused why it twists her heart so painfully.
Life carries on, and any thoughts of a possible relationship between Ryuko and Chat drifts away. Life seems perfect and orderly (if she discounts the akumas) until the dreams come.
Eventually, her swoon-worthy dreams of gorgeous Adrien shift. His gentle hands, though still just as gentle, are suddenly coated in ebony leather as they cup her cheek. His kind smile turns into a cheeky grin and his perfectly coiffed golden mane of hair is suddenly wild and shaggy in a way that she can't help but love. His eyes are the most jarring though. Instead of soft, emerald green eyes that gaze at her adoringly, instead they are slits (though just as impossibly green) that glint with a challenge he dares her to accept and are framed with a mask as dark as they stand under.
Instead of her glorious Adrien, her reckless Chat stands before her.
He leans forward, his clawed thumb brushing her cheek, and she can't help herself from leaning forwards either. Just as she feels his lips brushing hers. she jolts awake, red in the face. She's glad she doesn't have to face Chat until the next akuma attack.
She denies any possible feelings for Chat that extend past simple friendship to Tikki (she won't admit it to herself either).
When she sees how Ryuko and Chat interact, it merely gives her more incentive, even though she still pretends to not see the possibility for more between Ryuko and Chat.
But it's when she looks at Adrien one day in class and she feels nothing. None of those butterflies, no dizzying thoughts in her mind - nothing.
With Chat, later that very day, she feels everything.
She sobs the night away, mourning for a love that would never be.
It takes her a week, but finally - finally - accepts what's she's been denying for so long.
I love Chat Noir.
A little while later, after a lot of celebrating between her and Tikki, she decides to tell him at their next patrol.
She never did.
x M.L.B x
Paris glows before her, extending into the dark horizon. She clenches the rail tightly, biting her lip and trying to contain herself as she waits for Chat.
The thought of her best friend sends butterflies racing in her stomach. A smile twitches at her mouth.
She hears a thump behind her and her smile grows, knowing that her partner has arrived. She waits, however, just waiting for him to creep up behind her and try to scare her (he did, once, but she's grown use to his tricks by now).
His cool hand lands suddenly on her shoulder and he cries, "Boo!"
She whips around, an unimpressed expression pulling at her face, but she can't hide her joy at the sight of him - she doesn't want too. He merely laughs at the sight of her face and she thinks she's never heard anything more beautiful. He comes to sit on the rail and she joins him, even though she knows they should be patrolling.
They sit in silence, the unsaid words spoken more clearly than they could voice themselves.
She glances at him from the corner of her eye, watching him fidget and a knowing smile pulls at her mouth. "What is it, kitty?"
He turns to her, a shining smile directed at her and she loses her breath. "You know me better than I know myself, don't you, bug?"
"Course. Now, TELL ME!" She whines playfully.
"Demanding."
"Idiot." She shoots back, fondness colouring her tone.
He still smiles, something in his gaze that she can't name, though it's on the tip of her tongue. He stares at her for a few more moments and it's like he's looking straight into her soul. She shifts on the rail, slightly uncomfortable and the action seems to break him out of his trance that he unknowingly fell into.
"So . . ."
She waits silently, knowing he'll tell eventually.
"Basically, there's been someone new in my life lately."
Something pricks at her skin, raising goosebumps and she clenches the rail tightly. Something's wrong, though Chat always had a better sense of impending doom than her.
He takes a deep breath, gazing at Paris, like he can't look at her. Her heart sinks. "She's . . . well, she's amazing."
She ignores the tears that pool in eyes.
"Yeah?" She's thankful that her voice doesn't crack.
"Well . . ." He takes a deep breath once more and what he says next is so fast, the meaning doesn't sink in, not right away. "Ihaveagirlfriend."
"What?"
"I have . . . a girlfriend." He gazes at her now, that something in his eyes burning brighter and there's something else like hope in his eyes. "And it's Ryuko."
The words are like knives to her heart, tearing it to shreds. Of course. Tears blur her vision so much, he's only a indistinct silhouette in the dim glow of the lights. The realisation that Chat is not hers slowly sinks in and it's the worst thing she's ever felt and it's more crushing than watching Adrien go on many dates and never with her.
"I . . . I . . ."
Her throat closes up, her heart constricts and she feels like she can't breath. The distant sound of cars drowns out and silence rings in her ears. She thinks she can hear the faint sound of her shredded heart dropping to the floor, right at Chat's feet.
"Congratulations!"
She plasters a fake smile and a happy expression on his face through the tears she hopes he cannot see. She gazes at him, right in his lush eyes and she sees the hope dies in his eyes, though that something still glows, but . . . duller.
She stays there for a few more moments, hating the awkwardness that settles over them before she makes up a hurried excuse and then she turns and RUNS.
When she lands on her balcony, she ignores Tikki and simply flops onto her bed and gazes up, not really seeing anything.
She feels nothing.
x M.L.B x
Paris glows before her once more and she smiles a bittersweet smile at the memory.
It's been a year since Ryuko became a permanent Miraculous holder and six months since she's had her heart broken by her best friend.
She turns her head slightly, careful not to disturb him, to gaze at him.
He's sleeping and she thinks he's never looked more peaceful. His face has smoothed over, a small smile twitching at his lips, his hair falling into his closed eyes as usual.
These stolen moments on random rooftops in their city she treasures more than her best designs as she can pretend that Ryuko never stayed, that it's just her and Chat once more. Her Kitty and His Lady running over the rooftops, the invincible team. These moments where she can pretend everything is fine and her heart doesn't hurt that badly anymore.
She squeezes his hand - the one that's entwined loosely with hers - gently, careful not to rouse him. She can watch over Paris this time.
She slumps though, her mind errant and returning to Ryuko and Chat. She can't hate them, however much she tries. They had no control over this, neither did she. She just wishes that she saw it sooner, accepted her feelings quicker and maybe, Chat would've been hers instead. She would've been his instead.
She sniffles, turning away from him and gazing up at the stars. They twinkle down at her, oblivious to that pain that's haunted her for six months.
Six months.
Six months - it feels like eternity, she thinks.
An eternity of having Chat so close, but so far from her.
Six months of fake smiles and fake laughs, she wonders if there's real left. Maybe, but it's been buried so deep under the heartbreak she can't uncover it. She thinks that she'll get over him eventually (if she digs deep down, she'll know that a part of her will always be Chat's, no matter how much she fools herself that she doesn't love him in that way anymore) and she'll be happy with someone else.
The ripple of pain that goes through her at the thought of being with someone else instead of Chat is almost too much.
She turns away from the stars, unclipping her yoyo from her waist, checking the time. She realizes it's almost midnight and they've both got school tomorrow, so she quietly shuffles closer to him and shakes him awake. He does so with a grunt.
His eyes blink open blearily, gazing at Paris but not really taking it in before he turns his attention to her. Even after all the pain, his eyes still cause her to lose her breath. Awareness starts to slip into his gaze and he draws his hand out of hers and she misses it before it's an inch away. He rubs at his eyes, a yawn escaping his throat.
"Hey, sleepyhead."
"Mornin', though it looks like 'night' to me, bug." A throb runs through her at the loss of his affection name for her. Ever since that night, 'Milady' had never been so much as whispered. She hates herself for how much she misses it.
"Come on, we better get home. It's late."
"How late?"
"Almost tomorrow." She whispers, chin on her curled up knees. She gazes at Paris, still slightly awed by it's beauty even after all this time (it's better than the pain and the joy she feels every time she looks at Chat).
She jolts at the feel of his hand on her shoulder. "Thanks for letting me nap. I'll take patrol next time though."
She whirls, "What? No!"
He holds up his hands in surrender. "Woah, bug. Did I hit a button?"
She shakes her head, guilty. "No. Sorry, guess I'm just a bit cranky."
"All the more reason for me to take patrol next time. You need sleep, bug." Chat points out logically.
Huffing at his logic, she refutes, "No. I'm coming. That's final."
He looks at with that look again, his head tilted just so and she looks away quickly. She can't look at him while he's giving her that look. It hurts too much.
She hears gravel shift and Chat grunting and she looks up at his towering figure above her. His hand is stretched out, a kind smile on his face that is very familiar but she just can't put her finger on it.
She takes his hand, struggling to ignore the sparks that scatter up her arm at his touch and she quickly pulls away when she fins her balance. She doesn't see how his body slumps ever so slightly.
"Night, bug. Guess I'll see you at the next akuma attack?"
"Hope so. Night, Chat."
Their words are short and stilted and she wishes they were back to what they were like they were before. Before Ryuko.
He turns away, but she still watches him. The words are on her tongue, the words that have been there for six months but what she's never dared say. But this time, she throws caution to the wind and whispers them to his retreating figure.
"I love you."
The words dance on the light breeze before they die out and she whips around, yoyo swinging in her group before she runs into the night.
She doesn't notice how Chat's ear twitches as he captures her confession and how he freezes in shock.
Instead she runs.
x M.L.B x
AN: Firstly, I'm sorry for my very long disappearance. I have no excuse really.
BUT, there's something I do need to tell you.
I will not be continuing "Spots Worn By Another" or "HTTYD: Twin Edition".
I've realised that I'm not happy with what I've been posting and I don't think it's fair to you lot if I'm not happy with what I'm writing. You guys deserve my best. Another reason is that I'm just making things up as I go and I don't like that. I have no idea where I'm going with either of these and that just leaves me at a loss with what to do next, so . . .
Instead, I'm going to take the stories down properly and plan them before I think about reposting them.
This can be said for any future stories I may post. For now, I think I may just stick to writing one shots.
But, I am thinking about continuing this story, but I'm not completely sure yet. I love this idea I've started with, but I need to do some more planning, but even then, I'm not totally sure I'll continue this. It's up to you guys really.
Another note: This is not edited in the least, so I apologize for any mistakes in grammar or spelling.
- Bye!