Prologue
Rowan looked up at the photo in her hand, then up at the matching house in front of her. It wasn't very impressive, but she'd spent hours staring at the photograph. She shivered in the wind and looked up at the moon. Excitement coursed through her and she dashed up to the front door, sliding a bit on the muddy lawn. She knocked and waited but there was no answer.
Fighting disappointment, she shivered again-it was freezing out here. She glanced back up at the house and plucked up the courage to open the door. Peering inside, she couldn't see anyone or much of anything. There was a little bit of light coming from the other room, where voices emanated in low tones. She squinted as her eyes adjusted to the darkness and crept forward toward the next room, flinching as the floor creaked loudly beneath her feet. The voices hushed instantly.
A man and two women moved quickly into the room and stared at her. The man had hair down to his shoulders, which was black. His eyes were also black and reminded her of the woods at night. His expression was full of confusion, anger, and what looked like a little fear. The first woman had long, straight hair that was blonde, almost white. She had a pretty face and was tall and skinny. The second woman had dark curly hair and scary eyes. She looked irritated at the interruption and had a long, skinny piece of wood in her hand.
She handed the man the letter in her hand and took a step back anxiously. Their eyes on her didn't feel friendly, but she had come too far to turn back. He finished reading and stared at her, the letter hanging limp in his hand.
The dark-haired woman looked from Rowan to the man and let out an insane bark of laughter, "Does that letter say what I think it does Snape?¨ She had an evil grin on her face and looked angry and happy at the same time. He gave a slight nod, too stunned to argue. She let out another cackle and whispered something to the other woman. The blonde woman looked stunned for a moment but when she looked at Rowan, it was with a peculiar expression. While the dark-haired woman looked at them it was with obvious disdain, the light-haired woman looked at them with envy.
Rowan was confused, she had tried to read the letter but when she looked at it, it was blank. Its contents were a mystery to her and everyone's reaction only made it more confusing.
They all stood still for a few tense moments until she involuntarily shivered again. The blonde woman looked at Snape and he nodded at her, still not functioning quite right. The woman took her by the hand and she allowed herself to be steered through more rooms.
"My name is Narcissa. Your name is Rowan, right?"
Rowan nodded slowly, still uncertain.
¨How did you get here? Who sent you?" Narcissa asked gently. Rowan only stared at her. The truth was, she couldn't remember much beyond the trip here. But she also wasn't sure she trusted these people.
Narcissa led her to the bathroom and flicked one of those pieces of wood at the large claw-foot tub and it filled with steaming water. Her mouth fell open a little bit; it had filled like magic. She was hesitant to strip, but the warm water looked so inviting and she longed to get cleaned up. Her desire for warmth won out and she peeled off her dirty clothes and stepped cautiously into the tub.
Narcissa washed Rowan's hair gently and left the rest for her to do herself, clearly aware of the boundaries the child had put up. She held up a towel and allowed Rowan to step into it before drying her off. For a moment Rowan felt guilty about her silence; this woman was being nice to her. They trekked to another room and Narcissa flicked her stick at the closet, which was empty, doors gaping open. Then it was suddenly full, hangers swaying gently as if there was a breeze. She handed Rowan a nightdress, which she slipped into gratefully. It was soft and silky and most importantly, clean.
Narcissa pulled back the covers on the bed and watched as Rowan slipped in.
She leaned down, "Don't worry, I'll keep you safe." She kissed her on the forehead and left the room. Rowan wasn't completely at ease yet, but she found herself trusting Narcissa. She was also exhausted and despite her nerves, she fell asleep quickly.
"Severus, she doesn't remember anything about before she came here. No more than her name. Who is she?"
"She's...mine," he said finally.
"So, you admit she's your child then?!" Bellatrix challenged loudly.
"Shh, Bella!" Narcissa scolded in hushed tones.
Severus said nothing, crossing his arms. Bellatrix's antics were wearing his patience thin.
"I suppose I'll be on my way then; the Dark Lord will be interested to hear about the latest development with his prodigal son," she gave an evil grin and disappeared with a crack.
"I need to go too Severus. But I would love to help you with her. I- I've always wanted a daughter," she admitted painfully.
"Of course. I'll be the first to admit that I've no idea how to care for a child. Your assistance would be much appreciated." He was stiff in admitting his shortcoming, but he seemed to be grateful for the offer of help. She beamed, her face alight with gratitude and excitement.
"Thank you so much Severus. I'll be sure to come by often," she said smiling beautifully.
"I'm sure she'll be glad to see you," he replied evenly. With that, she too disappeared with a crack. He walked to the bedroom where the little girl was fast asleep. Her breathing was slow and even, her dark curls tumbling around her face. She looks so much like her mother. He pulled the covers up over her shoulders and turned away.
When Rowan woke up the next morning, she didn't know where she was and jumped up with a squeak as if shocked. The man called Snape had been asleep in the rocking chair in the corner. Now he jerked awake.
"Sorry! I'm sorry," she apologized, upset with herself at having woken him.
"It's fine," he replied dully. "Really, it's okay," he added when she continued to look at him fearfully. He knew he was in way over his head already. "Come here," he said. She hesitated before sliding out of the bed and stepping forward tentatively. Still nervous, she tensed as he reached out to lift her onto his lap. Searching for the words to explain to her, "Did you walk here all by yourself?" I nodded. "Do you remember where you came from?"
"I can't remember," she replied, almost so quietly that he couldn't hear her.
His face was impassive before softening, "I'm sorry. But I promise you won't have to do that again." She looked at him, a glimmer of hope in her face. He continued, awkwardly trying to find the right words, "I'm your father. Would you like to live here with me?"
"My daddy?" He nodded curtly. She threw her arms around his neck, surprised and overjoyed. He was caught off guard by the burst of emotion, not to mention unaccustomed to affection.
"Come on then, let's get some breakfast," he set her down and stood stiffly. She jumped down and took his hand happily, which made him glance at her, but he didn't take it away.
They made their way to the kitchen and her father cooked them breakfast; it wasn't fancy, but it was passable and she was hungry enough that it didn't matter. Just after they had finished breakfast, there was a knock at the door. Snape, assuming it was Narcissa, allowed her to follow as he went to answer it. He glanced through the peephole and his posture stiffened before opening the door. Instead of Narcissa, it was a man. He had dark hair, and a handsome face. Rowan thought that it would have been a nice face, but there was something different, scary about it. At the sight of Snape, the face split into a malicious grin.
"So Severus, I see Bellatrix wasn't mistaken. A father."
"Yes, My Lord, please come in and I will explain what I can." They went back inside to the sitting room. She wanted to leave, but something inside told her she should stay. The two men began talking and she tried to listen while examining the man more. Something about him didn't sit right with her. Her father mentioned a woman, but left her name out of the conversation, seemingly on purpose. The man listened, but looked bored by the whole thing, his posture relaxed and aloof. After the conversation concluded, he turned his gaze down, where she was still tensely huddled in her father's lap.
"Come here child," he said it softly, but there was no mistaking the authority in it. This man was important. She turned to look at her dad and he nodded. Rowan slid off his lap and padded over to the chair. He looked her over and lifted her chin with a long finger. She remained stiff and gazed defiantly into his eyes; she had decided she did not like this man.
"She will certainly be beautiful when she's grown. I may have some kind of use for her in the future." He sat back in his chair so she scurried back over and scrambled back into the protection of her dad's lap. She stared at him from across the room. She didn't like how he talked about her.
He smiled, "Yes, I'll definitely have a use for this one. I trust this change in circumstance doesn't affect your allegiance Severus?"
Snape slowly shook his head, "Of course not my Lord." And without another word he disappeared.
"Come let's get you dressed," her dad said with a sigh.
"Who was that?" she asked fearfully.
"A very important man," he replied after a moment of thought.
He picked some clothes from the closet Nissa filled yesterday and handed them to her, clearly unsure of whether he should help her dress or not. She took them and dressed herself as much as she could; the clothes were much fancier than she knew what to do with.
She tugged on her father's robe, "Can you help me with the buttons?"
Later on, her father brandished a pair of dressy looking shoes at her, "Put these on."
"Where are we going Daddy?"
"We have a meeting to attend at the Malfoys'. Narcissa's house," he added, seeing her confusion.
She immediately brightened. "Nar-narissa's house?" she echoed excitedly, struggling to pronounce the name. He paused before nodding and then held his arm out.
"Okay, hold my arm as tight as you can and don't let go," he instructed. "Ready?" She nodded.
With a crack, they were gone. It felt like she was being squeezed on all sides and couldn't breathe. Then it was over. She gulped air and tears streamed down her face.
"I'm sorry-I couldn't-breathe-and it was-tight!" she got out between gulps of air.
He exhaled, "No, I should have told you more about what would happen." He realized that didn't make her feel any better and added, "You did good though, you didn't let go." He wiped away her tears and took her hand. They walked up to a huge silver gate and her jaw dropped at the house behind it. It was huge, silvery white, and beautiful. She made to stop at the gate, but they passed straight through it and up the walk. There were large birds walking around the courtyard.
"Daddy what are those birds?"
"They're peacocks Rowan," he said. He said it plainly but the corners of his mouth turned up a bit. She wasn't sure what was funny, but she smiled too. They walked into the big house without knocking; everything was polished and shiny. She wanted to stop and look at everything, but didn't get much chance because they kept walking through until they entered a long room with a table and people. She shrunk down as she noticed all of the people until she spotted Nissa's blonde hair and dropped her father's hand, rushing over.
"Nissa!" Rowan exclaimed as she ran over. Everyone's head turned to look at her. Her face went red and she froze standing next to Nissa.
She pulled Rowan onto her lap, "Hi honey."
"This is your house?" she asked, still awestruck by the high ceiling and chandelier.
"Mine, my son's, and my husband Lucius'," she said pointing to a little boy on her left and the man to their right.
"Hi," she greeted him quietly; he didn't appear to be as nice as Nissa. He stared at her and then at his wife. "Are those your, um," she thought for a moment, "Peacocks outside, Mr. Malfoy?" she asked curiously. Her father, who had followed her over, smirked.
A dull flush rose in his cheeks and he said nothing until Nissa elbowed him, "Yes, those are mine." There were some snickers around the room but she continued on.
Her confidence was bolstered, "I think they're pretty! Just like your house! It's really shiny!" she smiled a little at him.
"Thank you," his voice was flat and he turned away before speaking.
"Shh!" someone hissed urgently.
Everyone stood as the door opened and the man from earlier walked in. He sat at the head of the table and everyone else sat after him. She peered around the person next to them but sat back when he met her eyes. He gave an amused chuckle.
"As you all have probably noticed, there is a new-ah- person joining us. May I introduce, Miss Rowan Snape." He seemed to enjoy making the announcement. Everyone exchanged surprised looks and craned for a look. Her father stood stiffly as everyone scrutinized them. She took the opportunity to check out the rest of the people gathered; the only familiar face was the other woman from yesterday. The woman smirked when she met her gaze. She gave Rowan a bad feeling in her stomach.
"Wormtail, take her to one of the rooms until we're done," the man dictated lazily. She noticed that the little boy had quickly disappeared. She looked to her dad and Nissa for help but they nodded solemnly. She reluctantly obliged and went with the new man, Wormtail. She wondered why he had such a strange name. He was short and didn't have much hair. His nose was pointed and he had eyes that looked like they would start crying. She could picture him as a mouse, but a worm? He led her out of the room and upstairs without saying anything.
Wormtail didn't say anything or help her up when she tripped on the last step of the stairs. He just stopped and watched and then kept going. He led her to a room that looked like no one had used it in a long time. It wasn't dusty or dirty, but everything was placed too perfectly. It was too new. He shut the door and left.
She looked around; the walls were pink and there were toys everywhere. In toy chests, on shelves and neatly lined on the floor. She eagerly dug through one of the chests and found a toy broomstick. Not knowing what to do with it, she tossed it aside. Also in the chest were more brooms like it and a few games. Another chest was full of stuffed animals. When she pulled one out it grew to full size, bigger than she was. Her jaw dropped and she squealed with pleasure. Trying to drag a stuffed kitten with her, she went to examine the books on the shelves.
There were junior spell books and bedtime stories and many others. She flipped through one of the spell books and noticed a spell that would make things float. Not sure what to do and feeling a little silly, she pointed at the big kitten.
"Wingardium Leviosa!" she commanded with as much force as she could muster. She gasped as the kitten rose off the ground and bobbed next to her. She wondered if there were more neat things like that in other rooms. She should go check; after all, no one had said she had to stay in this room. Her cat trailing behind her, she opened the door; there was no one in the hall or down the stairs. She stepped out and shut the door behind her.
Opening the next door, she peered in. Nothing that seemed like fun was there. A giant bed, two dressers, one with a mirror, and an enormous chest at the foot of the bed. She thought maybe inside the chest? She trotted over and tried to open it. It was really heavy, but slowly the lid began to lift.
Suddenly many loud cracks sounded and she was surrounded by people. They all had those strips of wood like Nissa and her father, all pointed at her.
Terrified, she looked for a familiar face. There! Nissa's husband. Lu...Lucius. She ran over and clutched his legs, the stuffed cat still trailing loyally behind her. Lucius pulled back, but another few cracks sounded and her father, Nissa and the man appeared. She scurried over to her father and looked up at him, afraid. She had obviously done something wrong. Everyone stared at her, tight-lipped and astonished.
"My Lord, how could she have-?" Lucius began, but the man cut him off.
"Come here," he ordered, crooking his finger. She walked over slowly, the kitten still bobbing along. "You did that?" he asked, pointing at the cat.
"M-m-make it float?" He nodded, and then so did she. "Is that bad?" she asked, tears welling in her eyes.
"Show me how."
She dashed out, glad for a moment away from everyone's' eyes, grabbed the spell book, and dashed back in. "With this," she stated nervously, pointing to the spell.
"Do it again." He snapped his fingers and the cat fell to the floor. She looked at the book again just to be sure, and then to the cat.
"Wingardium Leviosa!" she commanded again, and the cat rose back off the marble floor. There was a brief murmur from the crowd; everyone seemed impressed. Except for the scary woman, Bellatrix.
"My Lord obviously someone is interfering, she doesn't even have a wand. And even if she did, her powers wouldn't have developed at that level yet," she sneered.
He ignored her and glanced over at the heavy chest. "And how, did you open," he pointed, "that?"
She was confused, "I-I just opened it."
"Everyone out! Except Severus and Bellatrix!" She made to go out with Nissa and Lucius, but he called her back, "You stay." Then he spoke to Bellatrix, "That chest was protected by charms that I cast myself. We will make other arrangements for it's contents later."
She bowed her head and the man turned to her father, "And Severus, do you have an explanation for this?"
"No, My Lord."
"We will need to discuss this further later. For now, allow her to rest."
"Yes, thank you My Lord," her dad said with a slight bow. Her father took her by the hand and led her out. They went down the hall into yet another room. There was a bed with a bedside table and a dresser, and an open door leading to a smaller room that mirrored the first except for a small toy chest in the corner.
She looked at her father, "What's going on?"
"We'll discuss it later."
"Am I in trouble?" she asked fearfully.
He stared at her for a moment, "No, you aren't in trouble."
When she woke up the next morning her father was already gone from the next room. She got up and went downstairs, in the big room from last night there were already people eating breakfast. She sat in the empty seat between her dad and Narcissa and grabbed some french toast from the stack on the table.
"Where's everyone else Nissa?" she asked. She was curious, although she was more at ease with less people around.
"They were only here for the meeting last night. Until the next one it's just us."
Narcissa spent the day with her, playing with toys and reading her stories. When it came time to leave, she pleaded with her father to stay, "Daddy, I want to stay and play with Nissa!"
"It's time to go. We'll come back soon," he added hastily when she appeared to be on the verge of tears.
"Do you promise?"
He sighed, "I promise."
She visited Narcissa several times over the next couple of months, but she was glad that there were no more of those meetings; she didn't have to see the scary man again. And it seemed that Bellatrix had returned to her home as well because Rowan didn't run into her again either. She nearly had a meltdown when her father told her that she wouldn't be seeing Narcissa again for a few months; they were going to some place called Hogwarts.
"I don't want to go to Hogwarts," she pouted. "I want to play with Nissa."
"We have to go. I have a new job there and I'm not leaving you at Malfoy Manor for that long without me."
"Why not?" she demanded, stomping her foot.
"I don't- I'm not. Period. No arguing," his voice had turned icy cold and he glared at her frustratedly. Her lower lip trembled and she sniffled; he hadn't ever been mean to her before. He softened and seemed to panic, "Don't cry," he coaxed anxiously. "It'll be fun."
"How will it be fun?" she sobbed into his robes.
"Hogwarts is full of magic."
She sniffed, "Really?"
He nodded, "Everything there is magic; the food, the pictures, even the stairs."
"Okay." And that was that. She said a tearful goodbye to Narcissa, who gave her father a pointed look, but said nothing. Severus hadn't admitted to her that he didn't feel safe leaving Rowan behind, but Narcissa had an inkling. Still, Narcissa took Rowan shopping for her own trunk and some toys to take with her; something to play with but nothing extravagant enough to evoke Snape's fury. No matter, as Narcissa was already plotting to save those gifts for Christmas.
Things went well until it was nearly November. Her father woke her up early and dressed her, as she was too sleepy to do it herself. He bundled her up in her coat and dashed out of the room without his own. He carried her all the way down to the village where he warned her that they were going to apparate before quickly disappearing. He sat her at the breakfast table and gave her some pancakes before dashing out. She wasn't sure what was going on, but she ate her breakfast gratefully after stripping off her thick coat. The dining room was empty and a little intimidating; she hoped Narcissa would come down soon.
Wormtail came in before she was finished with her breakfast.
"The Dark Lord wants to see you now," he said.
"M-me?"
"Yes. Move." She scurried after him to a room with a fireplace, armchairs, sofas, and bookshelves.
The Dark Lord was sitting in one of the armchairs. He gestured to the sofa and she sat down, avoiding his eyes. He didn't say anything, only looking at her intently. She was wondering what was going on when images flashed in her head. It was like a movie behind her eyes; of herself walking through the woods, through town on her way here. The letter and picture that were her only guides. A quick flash of a white house in a village, and a sharp pain in her head.
"No!" she screamed. She covered her face and curled up in a ball, tears streaming down her face as she felt a wall in her mind start to crack. She flung up mental shields to get him out of her head, to keep the wall intact. No matter what, she knew that she couldn't let him get through.
The Dark Lord recoiled as all of a sudden, he was rejected from the girl's mind. She had forced him out. She had forced him out. He couldn't believe it. She uncurled from her ball on the sofa and fled from the room clutching her head, tears flowing. She slammed into Severus on her way out the door; he looked terrified and angry. Her father scooped her up and hurried off, leaving the Dark Lord furious that Severus had failed to address him for a stupid child.
The day was nearly over and she was still curled up on the bed. Narcissa was trying to find a spell to make her head stop hurting. Her dad was in the corner brewing a potion he hoped would help. She had a sinking feeling that nothing they tried would help. She could feel the barrier in her mind now. And she could feel the cracks in it that man, the Dark Lord, made by trying to get inside her head. She didn't know what it meant, or why it was there, but she knew that she needed to keep him out. She never wanted to see that man again.
All she could do, for now, was wait and hope the pain would go away with time. Hopefully it would be soon. Tears still ran down her cheeks, Nissa and her father knew not to try and talk to her. She couldn't respond.
"Severus! Narcissa! The Dark Lord! He's gone! The Potters, that little boy!" shouted Bellatrix urgently.
"What about the Potters?" her father asked urgently.
"What do you care? They're dead! Except that little boy! Without his protection, surely we'll be thrown in Azkaban. We need your presence immediately."
Severus' face went blank instantly before he gathered his words, "Narcissa, stay with her? I'll be back later; Lucius can brief us after. I need to go speak to Dumbledore. Surely you understand?"
Narcissa nodded but Bellatrix exploded, "Why do you need to talk to Dumbledore?! The Dark Lord is dead, there's no need for that anymore! Unless you're just a dirty traitor! You scum!"
"Bellatrix! Do you really believe the Dark Lord could be defeated so easily? I need to continue to follow the Dark Lord's orders until I receive orders to do otherwise. If your loyalty to the Dark Lord falters so easily I could easily question your allegiance as well." With a snarl, she flounced out of the room.
"Narcissa, I'll be back soon." She nodded. He kissed Rowan's forehead as lightly as possible and apparated out of the room, streaking like a bolt of lightening to Godric's Hollow.