Author's Notes:

PAIRINGS: Matt/Mello. Mello/Near.

SPOILERS? Yes, for the entire series.

Chapter 1: Royal Blue Couch

Now was as good a time as any to confess: Mello enjoyed fan service more than he should.

When Misa had first appeared in Death Note, Matsuda had predicted that she would be instantly paired off with Light, but this theory had proven wrong —the Light/L shippers were as passionate as ever. The others had simply regarded the issue with amusement and had joked around that it was a different world now, where Boys' Love was not only accepted by the fan community, but was also worshipped to the point of blind obsession. Light in particular had been vastly entertained by the whole business, and he and L would spend hours at a time plowing through enormous hauls of fan fiction. The two would laugh their heads off as the stories got more and more outrageous.

"Tell me, Matsuda," Light would tease, "did you have any idea that including a handcuffed fight scene in episode 18 would spark the overactive imaginations of the Light/L fangirls?"

Matsuda would reply with an all-knowing sigh, then say, "It's all part of the plan. A little tweak here and there to fuel the show's popularity won't hurt anyone, will it?"

And Light and L would continue to howl.

Mello, however, had been delighted for a different reason. He had thought — or maybe had hoped — that when the time came for his and Near's appearance in the series, the same thing would happen. Place two pleasantly eccentric characters in one scene, throw in little hints of angst and competitiveness, and what do you get? Yes, that's right! First-class slash! And because Matsuda was always eager to go along with what the fans wanted, he would definitely ask the more popular pairings, the Mello/Near love team included, to do fan service. Therefore, Mello nursed extravagant visions of Near and himself sitting side by side as they read the fan fiction supporting their pairing. Maybe, just maybe, all those sweet and seductive pieces would finally wedge themselves into Near's brain, and Near would realize accordingly that he would like nothing better than to engage in a similarly sweet and seductive relationship with Mello.

As it turned out, Mello was right. The fans loved them.

When Matsuda started prepping them about fan service, Mello couldn't help feeling smug.

"Say you're walking down the street together," Matsuda said, "and you see a lot of girls looking. What do you do?"

Near opened his mouth to speak, but Mello beat him to it. "We'll walk along for a while, looking like we barely notice all the screaming fans because we're lost in our own private universe. Then Near will casually hold my hand like he wasn't really thinking about it. He'll wave to the fans. I'll look down at him with an annoyed expression, as if I'm jealous that I no longer have his undivided attention. I'll put my arm around him and look all high and mighty about it. The point is, this all has to look sweet, but not blatantly lovey-dovey."

Matsuda was ecstatic with this response. "That's right! Near, maybe you can tell me again why this is a very meticulous process?"

"That's how fan service is," Near said promptly. "We cater to exactly what the fans want. No more, no less. We show them what they like to see."

"Excellent. Near, don't forget that you're going to be interviewed by Kurosaki Ami two days from now, so review the notes I wrote for you. . . . I think I gave them to your assistant, so just ask him. Mello, same show, a day after Near. Good work, guys."

"So, Mello," Kurosaki Ami said, smiling flirtatiously at him, "we're delighted to have you here with us tonight. I must say — and I know that I'm speaking for everyone in this room — that we all enjoyed your performance in the last few episodes. When Director Matsuda killed off L in episode 25, we feared that things would get a little boring, but it looks like we were wrong!"

Mello leaned back comfortably on the royal blue couch. He took care to look both sexy and intimidating as he smiled back at the talk show host. "Well, yes, I'm anything but boring. And you should have known better than to think Matsuda didn't have anything good up his sleeve. Things only get more interesting from here. You can take my word for it — the rest of the series will blow your minds. And of course the episodes I star in are the very best. Don't you all agree?" The audience hooted and applauded.

"Clearly, everyone strongly agrees. But now we move on to the next subject we must discuss: Near." Excited stirring from the crowd. "The story has made it perfectly plain that you and Near are rivals, and yet a huge percentage of fans begs to differ."

Pretending to consider, Mello rubbed his chin for a few seconds then groaned loudly. "You guys, I can't think properly without my chocolate. If you give me a huge bar of Hershey's, then we may proceed." A guy from the studio hurried to the set with a large slab of milk chocolate and bashfully handed it to Mello. "Yes, thank you." Mello took a big bite, grinned theatrically, and gave a thumbs-up to the camera. The members of the audience tittered, delighted by the whole charade. "So, Ami-san, where were we?"

"We were discussing Near, and don't you dare change the topic again!" she said in mock anger.

"Hmm. . . . Near and I get along well enough, or at least we try our best. It isn't easy, given the huge contrast in our personalities. Most of the time, we're cool. But it really depends."

"But do you find him attractive?" Ami persisted. The fangirls in the audience started whispering and nudging each other.

"Do you have to ask? He's adorable."

Fangirls screamed in earnest. Ami attempted to pacify them, but she herself was grinning. "Now settle down everyone! Mello, won't you put us out of our agony and tell us if there's something between you two?"

"Something between us? Not really, not the last time I checked. There certainly wasn't anything between us last night, and we slept on the same bed. He's very warm, I can tell you that much!" There was raucous cheering all around, and Mello had to raise his voice to say, "All right! All right! I'm kidding. You know I can't tell you anything about that. Do you want Matsuda to kill me? So, really, I'm not allowed to answer that question. It's a secret."

"Thank you for bearing with us, Mello. Now moving on to a more serious topic. The following are standard questions we ask the Death Note family, because aside from the fact that we receive informative and detailed answers, we also learn a lot about the interviewee. How exactly was Death Note conceived, and what is the story behind the unusual closeness among the main cast members?"

"Death Note is the director's brainchild. The idea came to Matsuda when he was still in middle school. This idea consisted not only of a story, but of a world. Yes, that's what it is to me — the world."

"I'm afraid I don't really understand what you mean when you say that," she said apologetically. "Can you please enlighten me?"

"You see," Mello explained, "it would be natural for any viewer to perceive Death Note as a fictional creation; however, to me, that's as real as it gets. In my world, the Death Note really, truly exists. This perception of mine was in fact implanted into my brain by Matsuda. I'm sure you've heard about the way it happened. He gathered some students from his school. . . . No, 'gathered' isn't the right word. He selected us — six students from various backgrounds, but with a single common characteristic that was essential to the plan: a certain class of quirkiness. L with his sweets, Near with his toys, me with my chocolate, Mikami with his ironclad sense of justice, Light — who was a dominant bitch even then — and Misa, who already held an undying, often suffocating obsession for Light. So Matsuda asked us, do you want to create a new world? We said yes. He said, are you willing to give up everything for that new world? We said yes. He said, are you sure? There's no going back. We said yes. He said, you are now erased, and I will rewrite you at my leisure. I know it sounds absurd, but that's how it happened. Matsuda might seem like a blockhead on TV, but he's actually a charismatic, influential, and extremely intelligent individual. He's our leader, has always been and will always be. I mean, clearly, he's sheer genius, isn't he? Thanks to him, look where we all are now!"

"Indeed, Death Note has won a whopping 52 awards so far, has been translated into 29 languages, and has been dubbed by TIME as 'arguably the most sensational television show today.' Congratulations!"

"Thank you. All this praise, even though the series isn't finished yet. . . . Sometimes, we pinch ourselves, thinking that it's all just a dream."

"Oh look at that, we're nearly out of time! Mello, thank you for coming here tonight. It was a pleasure to interview you."

"Anytime."

"All right, we have just about time for one last question. Matsuda-san has hinted that this week features an appearance from a new character. Your comment on that? Should we be excited about this?"

"No comment. I don't want to spoil the story for you."

"There were rumors that this character's name was Matt."

"Was that his name? To be honest, I kind of forgot. It's a small role and, hey, I'm a busy man."