TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT

Run, whirlwind run
Further and further away
Into the sun

- "Girls Like You" by The Naked and Famous

Chapter 1

Naiya sat in a ski lift by herself. No one else had seen her get on it. There was no one around to stop her, which was a mild relief. She peeked at the dark purple and black mark that was hidden by the glove on her hand.

A reminder. She couldn't keep doing this. She couldn't keep living. Naiya tucked her black curls back in place underneath the headband of her ear muffs. She was done. She was done existing. There was only regret in her short life, and she didn't want to keep adding to it.

As the ski lifted her higher and higher, Naiya re-enforced her resolve. She had to. She was scared. So, so scared. Every part of her wanted to live, but Naiya didn't know if she could deal with the consequences that would surely follow that decision. The things she would have to see and do. The orders that she knew that she would inevitably have to follow. She couldn't see any other way, and she was desperate. Naiya wanted the pain, the guilt, the pressure to stop. She felt like her lungs were collapsing inside of her rib cage when she thought about it.

The world would keep spinning if she was no longer in it. It was going to be alright if she gave up. She would be free. The pain would stop. Naiya told herself all of these things like bittersweet promises. She wished there was another choice, a light at the end of this tunnel, but there was nothing.

Carefully, she pushed the safety bar up off of her when it seemed like she was high enough. Hopefully this time she would succeed. Hopefully this time she wouldn't reopen her eyes in her own personal hell. Swallowing tightly, Naiya stared at the snow below her boots. There were tears in her eyes, but she couldn't let this chance slip by just because she was a little scared of how far of a fall it was going to be. How much it might hurt. She closed her pale, brown eyes and pushed herself off the lift.

Cold air whooshed around her long enough to startle and exhilarate her before she smashed into the snow. Now everything ached and screamed, her nerves alive with the pain, and Naiya was disappointed she didn't die. The tears she'd been holding back where now pooling and dripping down her already freezing cold face. Burning a trail down her wind burned cheeks. She couldn't do anything right. She'd have to wait for the cold weather to finish the job because she couldn't get herself to move a single aching muscle.

She laid there in the snow for hours, struggling to remain conscious. The den-den mushi in her pocket rang endlessly as the snow fell, reminding her that she was still alive. Eventually she couldn't see a thing, but the snail wouldn't shut up. It rang in her head, over and over again, like a beacon. A reminder. She wished she was able to move a limb so she could throw it away from her. Naiya wished she had the foresight to get rid of it before she stupidly failed to end her own life.

It was so cold. So cold. A reminder that she was still alive. A reminder that she failed. A reminder she wanted to forget.

.

Naiya opened her eyes slowly, cringing against the blinding light of the steel gray room. Something felt wrong. She couldn't quite place her finger on what it was as her consciousness wasn't fully together yet. In fact, she felt empty. She could remember what she assumed would land her in some room that smelled like antiseptic like this one. She closed her eyes, keeping her breath steady.

Slowly, Naiya tried to collect everything she could remember. She recalled trying to kill herself, an unsuccessful endeavor apparently. What else? Her name, Naiya. Why was she trying to commit suicide? She came to a standstill with personal details, so she moved on. So who found her? Her brain felt scrambled. She could barely remember anything, just the jump and how she had felt at the time. Scared, Determined, Anguished. Every emotion swirled back to the surface just thinking about it. She wished she had succeeded, but a part of her was glad, thankful even for the clean slate she had been given with the failure.

Once she adjusted enough to the light, she moved her hand up to her face to look at the mark on it. She had to make sure what she thought was a memory was real. If the blotchy purple and black mark was still on her right hand, she'd believe she had been suicidal. Naiya stared at the mark on her skin. It had been real. Her head ached. Her whole body ached for that matter. Why was she alive? Clearly she had not desired resurrection, and it scared her. What was she trying to achieve through her death? It had seemed like a very important task. Like it would stop her suffering. For a moment, she feared that who she had been running from had her now. It was a dangerous thought, that sent her surging into an upright position, struggling and gasping for air. A panic attack. For some reason, she remembered these. Remembered what to do to bring herself down. Her shoulders shuddered with silent sobs, and she covered her face with her shaking hands.

Naiya slowly brought herself back out. Her breathing calmed, and she looked around herself. Metal bolts stood out on the walls. A ship of some kind. The door was a strange one with a lever that she was unfamiliar with. The room was quiet except for the whirring of the machines, and it was extremely clean. She couldn't hear anything outside of the room from what she could tell with all the ambient noise. The room looked like a state-of-the-art medical facility. It was a little bit impressive for something on a boat.

The door opened loudly with the sound of metal on metal, revealing a large, white bear in an orange jumpsuit. The two of them stared at each other for a long moment of awkward silence before the bear spoke.

"You're awake!" a polar bear gasped in shock. She wondered if it was normal to see a talking bear, or if this was an unusual sight. She honestly couldn't figure out how to react to him. Maybe acting as if it wasn't odd at all was the better route, so she did her best to maintain her placid expression.

"I think so," was all she managed to get out in a flat tone. The bear was already hurrying back out of the room however to really register her response. Naiya stared at the door for a little longer. Perhaps he had gone to get someone.

She busied herself trying to figure things out once more. Although she didn't come up with much before the door opened again, revealing the bear and someone new; a tall, intimidating individual from face and demeanor, but the fluffy hat in no way gave off the same vibe. Either way, he looked annoyed to be there, if not merely bored. If he was just bored, he had some serious resting bitch face, which she figured was probably the case.

He picked up a clipboard and sat in a chair next to her. With his other hand, he placed a heart surrounded by a periwinkle box next to him, "We'll start with easy questions first. What's your name?" While Naiya was marginally intimidated by the heart that sat beating on the table, she also felt a little confused as to why he needed it within her line of sight. Surely it wasn't hers? Was it? The thought was almost too much for her, so she set it aside, trying to focus on the question she'd been asked.

"Naiya," she responded, "I don't remember my last name." She was getting the sinking feeling that every other question was going to be impossible to answer. His gray eyes observed the heart as she answered. Naiya's earlier fears went surging back to the forefront.

"How old are you?" was his next question. His expression was as unreadable as before. Naiya had no guesses as to what he was thinking, or why saving her required such a line of questioning.

"I don't remember," she replied. His eyebrow twitched slightly, and Naiya assumed her response annoyed him. She got the feeling he wasn't someone you wanted to piss off. That was too bad for him though, because she was only going to continue to have nothing more to tell him.

"What do you remember then?" he asked with a sigh, leaning back into his chair. He seemed suspicious enough of her for him to have some sort of definitive proof of who she was, which meant they were enemies somehow. She wasn't sure how, but she'd have to figure it out. That, or he was just naturally suspicious. There was no way for her to know. She barely remembers a thing about herself after all. What good would it do to assume so much about the people who saved her life?

"Trying to die," Naiya sighed. She didn't particularly want to elaborate on that thought. It had been difficult enough to pass through the highlights that she could remember when she was combing her own memory earlier. He seemed surprised by her response though, but the expression disappeared quickly.

"Why?" he pressed.

"I wanted to," she said without looking at him. The heart on the table next to him continued to beat in tune to Naiya's own, and she swallowed tightly, tearing her gaze away from it once again. She didn't like this. A creeping sensation itched at her shoulders, and she just wanted this questioning to be over.

"And that's all you remember?" he asked. His hand moved to the heart beside him.

"Yes," Naiya responded in a soft voice. She wondered if she was allowed to know who he was now. She figured she ought to at least thank him for saving her. Even if she hadn't desired the help, "Who are you?" The question seemed to bring him to a pause, like he hadn't expected it. Naiya had sat through his line of questioning, the least he could do was tell her his name. She supposed he hadn't believed she was an amnesiac.

"Trafalgar Law," he answered slowly. Then resumed getting up from the chair, taking what Naiya could only presume was her heart. The thought terrified her.

"Thank you," Naiya said softly, "Law." She didn't really know why she had said it, and Law didn't respond. He merely left. Thus, Naiya was left once more with her thoughts.

She stared at the ceiling. Her neck ached, and her head pounded. She didn't dare move another muscle for fear of inflicting more pain upon herself. Naiya's mouth was dry, and there was nothing to occupy her mind beyond what had just happened.

Trafalgar Law, the name sounded familiar, but at the same time, didn't ring any bells. He was strange too. He didn't show a lot of emotion, so she had no idea what he was thinking. There were too many potential answers. At least he had a nice voice. It was soothing almost, a stark contrast to how he presented himself. He wasn't unpleasant to look at either. Though his eyes were rather intimidating. Something about the look in them made her feel uncomfortable. Like she needed to run as far away as and as fast as she could.

Then there was the heart he kept looking at. It appeared to be hers. It was the only thing that made sense, but that seemed impossible though. Law was probably trying to make sure she wasn't lying. An insane sort of lie detector test. Still, if it was her heart, how could she still feel it beating? It wasn't adding up.

Naiya's head pounded. She hated staying still like that; she couldn't think. She pushed herself up into a sitting position, and her whole body groaned in protest. Her arms were covered in light purple bruises, the rest of her body was probably covered in bruises as well. Naiya reached up to touch her head where the pounding was stemming from and felt metal staples there. She wondered how long she had been asleep for. It seemed like something she wasn't going to get an answer to for a while at least.

When Naiya grew bored of sitting and observing her bland surroundings, she began pulling off the wires that were attached to her chest and arms. One of the screens next to her flatlined, which drove her to fiddle with it until she finally pulled its plug out of the wall. After she succeeded in freeing herself from all the wires and a needle that was in her arm, Naiya began to pace around the room, looking through drawers. It looked like there were mostly more medical supplies and a few uninteresting pieces of paper with illegible writing on them. The bed and the side table were both bolted down to the floor, but the chair was not. Instead it was strapped to the table to prevent it from rolling around when not in use. There was no way of knowing where she was, even if she did find a window to look out of, but at least she could assume she was on a ship of some kind.

Naiya looked around some more, hoping to find some of the clothes she had been wearing before she was brought here. She assumed what she was wearing presently wasn't her own. The coveralls' sleeves went well past her hands, and she had to roll them up to keep them from driving her insane. Same thing with the legs that she had almost tripped over more than once while pacing around.

The door opened suddenly to reveal a guy wearing a white jumpsuit and a hat that said "PENGUIN" on it. Naiya froze in place, staring, and he looked just as startled. Then he blushed, seeming to reboot with minimal issues. Naiya merely remained where she was.

"You shouldn't be moving around like that yet," he started, attempting to lead Naiya back toward the bed with the tray of food he was holding. She didn't protest, allowing herself to be herded back, although she did end up tripping and headbutting the edge of the bed, causing the poor guy to freak out as blood started to trickle down her forehead from her stitches. Naiya just sat herself down on the bed while the guy rushed around to stop her bleeding with some gauze and then running out to go get someone. Naiya merely waited for him to return while holding the gauze to her head.

He returned with Law, who Naiya caught calling him Penguin, which meant he was wearing a hat that declared his name on it. Helpful. Law looked irritated when he saw her, but Naiya felt like her injury wasn't serious enough for all the attention it was gaining. It barely hurt nor was she spewing blood.

"You've been awake for an hour. How have you already managed to hurt yourself?" Law grumbled irritably as he looked over the bump on her head.

"I have a talent," Naiya responded, causing Penguin to snort. Law shot him a glare, though there was a slight up-tick in his lips that Naiya caught. At least she'd managed to be amusing with her blunder. She stared at the floor while Law glued her head back together. When he was done, he left without a word. Naiya then looked to Penguin who was bringing the tray of food toward her now.

"Here you go. We don't have a cook, so the food kind of sucks. It was Shachi's turn to cook though, so blame him not me," Penguin smiled. His cheeks were tinted pink again, and Naiya smiled back slightly.

"Okay," she replied. Penguin left at that, and Naiya was left to stare at the plate of strange looking food. Something about it didn't look quite right. She was trying to decide whether or not it was a potato or a mushroom on the plate when the whole place shook. Naiya heard people running by her door and some shouting. Next she heard some sort of alarm going off, so she set the tray aside and went to the door. She pulled up on the lever to open it as she had seen Law and Penguin do and looked out. In the hall, everything was louder. The polar bear, seeing her, went to stop her from leaving the room.

"Ms. Naiya, stay in your room. We don't want you to get hurt," he said, gently directing her back inside the quiet room and closing the door. The ship shook again, knocking Naiya onto her butt. She was almost desperate to know what was going on, but she figured it was probably best to listen to the bear and stay put. Especially since she couldn't trust her own feet to keep her upright in normal circumstances.

Naiya stayed in the room for a while before her curiosity got the better of her. She opened the door again, and although the alarm was still going off, there were less people running around than before. Most of them barely even looked at her when she passed by. She eventually found a porthole, but all it looked out to was the water. There wasn't any land to be seen. She caught a glimpse of another ship though from it. So they were being attacked, or were they attacking? Naiya continued wandering, and went up a deck when she found a ladderwell.

When she found the kitchen, Naiya was presented with the most disappointing thing she'd seen as of thus far. It was dirty, and whatever was being cooked didn't even resemble food. It was a stark contrast to the shining room she had woken up earlier in. For some unknown reason, she felt an overwhelming desire to clean everything up, and make something that looked marginally better than whatever had been left behind to burn.

Naiya began by throwing out the burning chicken(?) and soup, and cleaned everything with whatever she managed to find in there, which was a mop and a couple rags. The place wasn't as clean as she would've liked, but it was a start at least. Then she set herself to finding food, which wasn't too hard, except for when she thought she locked herself in the freezer for a few minutes before finally managing to get the door back open. She also couldn't find any seasonings, so she was going to have to make due with salt, pepper, and hot sauce.

When she finally started cooking, the alarms were still going off, and Naiya only caught two rags on fire, which she counted as a win since they were easy to put out. They were also all she had for oven mitts. She had found quite a few vegetables, though most weren't looking great, and she had to cut them down to make them edible. Soon enough Naiya had a soup that smelled way better than the previous one going, and she was working on cooking some chicken to add to the giant pot.

She didn't notice when the alarms turned off, but eventually people started wandering in looking starved and asking when she was going to be done cooking. She honestly had to agree with them as her own stomach was starting to rumble as everything was starting to come together into something that resembled food. She didn't even know that she knew how to cook, so she was glad it was going well so far. Penguin looked shocked when he saw Naiya though.

"You shouldn't be here!" Penguin started, "Law will kill me if he catches you wandering around." He looked like he was going to try leading her away, but she didn't trust any of them to finish cooking. Naiya was not going to let her perfectly good food be ruined. She was determined to finish what she started. Mostly because there was no way she was eating some mystery meal that had been cooked up by whoever Shachi was again. Naiya couldn't even put a bite into her mouth. She was scared she would end up bed ridden again if she did.

"No way, I have to finish this first," she glared at Penguin. His cheeks turned pink at that.

"I mean it smells great, but you're not allowed out of your room," Penguin responded nervously, his eyes darting in the direction of the door. He let out a small scream when he saw Law standing in the doorway, clearly wondering why everyone was gathered there. Naiya stiffened when she saw him as well.

"Well, he appeared sooner than expected, huh?" she whispered to Penguin.

"Yeah, I'm done for," Penguin hissed in a terrified voice. Naiya sighed, then straightened and smiled brightly at Law. She supposed she could try her best to keep Law from remembering that she was supposed to be under lock and key by Penguin.

"What are you doing out here?" Law asked barely looking at Penguin. Already off to a good start then, she figured.

"I found out no one can cook around here, and well, I had to do something. I'm pretty hungry, and you can't expect me to eat something that might make me sick all over again," she responded. Naiya felt like she was presenting a fairly reasonable argument.

"What do you mean?" Law asked, looking a little irritated. Naiya had to force the smile to stay on her face.

"Well... It smelled all kinds of horrible. I swear my stomach was trying to get away from it," she said cheerfully. Law now looked annoyed with her, which was the direction she was hoping to steer him in. Instead of having him be mad at Penguin, who had done nothing wrong... probably. Naiya had no way of knowing, to be honest, but she didn't really care.

"Besides, with everything going on outside, the food in here was just burning anyway," Naiya started. With the way Law sighed at that, it was clearly not the first time the food had been burnt during a battle. She smiled slightly, "I figured I had to do something to thank you guys for saving me anyway." A couple of the guys that were there awed at that, looking at Naiya in adoration. Law still looked irritated, but he didn't end up stopping her. Instead, his eyes went to one of the rags Naiya was holding.

"Your rag is on fire," he pointed out. Naiya looked down at her hand and let out a small squeal before folding the rag in on itself to snuff out the fire. Law was smirking slightly when he left. Penguin let out the loudest sigh when Law left.

"Sounds like you're not screwed now," Naiya smiled. Penguin nodded with a smile on his face, looking relieved.

"How's the food coming?" Penguin asked.

"It's almost done."

Hi there. It's been a while since this story has existed (2013), so I doubt anyone will immediately recognize it. It's very different now too, since its getting a complete overhaul.

Let me know what you think!

- Minatu

EDIT: 2/25/2020