The room around them was still except for the faint hum of the ac unit and the sound of the ceiling fan blades slicing through the air. Normally that kind of quiet would've left Emma feeling unsettled. Silence during any time but sleep meant inactivity and boredom, as well as the need for distraction, especially when she was used to the soundtrack of her life consisting of music or her talking roommates or the general fast pace of a city as loud as New York. Virginia Beach was a sleepy little town in comparison.

But Emma's mind wasn't craving any kind of distraction now.

She was grateful for the silence and the hyper awareness of Clay that it created. Every movement he made and each breath he took while she counted the steady beats of his heart beneath her hand. Laying there next to him with her eyes closed, Emma finally felt present and calm for the first time in what has felt like ages since Clay left.

They had been reluctant to let go of each other when he got home, only separating enough for him to unlock the door so they could enter the apartment. From there she dragged him straight to his bedroom where he went to the bathroom to change into shorts and a tee while she stripped her bottoms, leaving her only in his shirt that hung to the tops of her thighs.

They worked quietly together to turn down the bed. Folding the blanket at the foot before they crawled in on top of the sheets to lay face to face on their sides. Neither said a word. Instead they seemed to communicate through touch, trying to soak in each other's presence.

Emma kept her hand fisted in the front of his shirt while he traced his palm up and down her arm. The motion was hypnotizing, lulling her into a sense of calm from the warmth of his touch and the steady sound of his breathing. Her grip on the fabric tightened when he released a sigh before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear with more tenderness than you would expect from someone in his profession. From there, the tips of his fingers skated over the apple of her cheek, following the gentle slope of her nose before tracing the delicate cupid's bow of her lips. It was as though Clay was trying to memorize her. Committing every angle and curve of her face to perfect memory so that even when he's thousands of miles away he'll be able to close his eyes and remember the exact shade of her lips.

Finally opening her eyes, she looked up at him through long lashes as he cupped her cheek in his palm. Sometimes Emma would forget what it was like to be the subject of Clay's attention, caught in the gentle intensity of his gaze. Forgot how it made her feel like she was the center of the universe.

"When did you get here?" He asked, his tone low as if afraid the sound of his voice at a normal volume would be too jarring.

"I left Hannah's after dad said you were all back. I really wanted to see you."

"Me too. I'm glad you're here."

She answered with a small smile, letting her eyes roam over his form for the umpteenth time since they were reunited.

"You're sure you're not hurt?"

"Well I dinged my funny bone, which is never actually fun, but other than that I'm okay. Trent even made sure to confirm for himself before I was even allowed on the plane home."

Emma's lips twitched briefly at the joke as she nodded before kissing the crook of his elbow that he had tucked under her head. Clay's attention was drawn once more to her lips at the display of affection, grasping her chin between his fingers.

"I'm sorry for scaring you." He skimmed the tip of his thumb back and forth across the edge of her bottom lip. The joking lilt from mere seconds ago was gone, leaving somber regret in its place.

"When dad told me…" Emma stopped, swallowing to keep her throat clear and her voice calm before continuing in a whisper. She was determined to get this out.

"I was so afraid."

CECECECECECE

The world around Emma seemed to come to a standstill after Jason finished delivering his news. It was oddly reminiscent of when she had been told about her mother, how she would never be coming home. There was the same shock and fear and dread. And that moment where Emma wondered if she stood still, if she just stayed in place and never moved for the rest of her life, then maybe she wouldn't have to live with the possibility of never seeing Clay Spenser again.

But life didn't work like that. The world and everyone in it, including Emma, had no choice but to keep moving forward.

Everything was a blur from there. She faintly recalled being led by Hannah to get her stuff and being driven to the Seaver's house. Emma was so caught up in mentally preparing herself, hoping for the best but expecting the worst, that she didn't fully take in her surroundings until Hannah had shaken her before placing a steaming mug of chamomile tea in her hands.

She cupped her palms around the warm ceramic, suddenly realizing how cold she felt. Hannah had done her best to give her space while being close by should she need a shoulder to cry on. But Emma was intent on not letting her stoney facade crack, knowing that it served as a dam for all the emotions on the verge of overtaking her.

"It's okay to cry, Em." Hannah gently encouraged.

She shook her head vehemently, her voice wobbling despite her best efforts. "I feel like if I cry then that means he's not coming home and I can't-"

Emma cut herself off, trying to breathe. To stay calm and ignore the persistent pooling of tears that she was determined to blink away and the pressure building up from holding them back.

But Hannah understood. She knew what it was to know your loved one was running straight towards the danger that everyone else was fleeing from. Knew how important it was to never give in to the fear until you know with absolute certainty what's going on. Because once it took hold, it would eat you from the inside out.

SEAL's were taught to draw on every ounce of strength they had to soldier through. And when they started to feel like there was nothing left to give, no strength left to fight, they dug deep to find whatever scrap of willpower was left to keep going. It was a hard lesson learned. One their loved ones came to learn as well.

Hannah pulled her best friend into a hug, squeezing tight as if to lend her whatever strength she needed to get through this. For now, it would have to be enough.

"Okay."

CECECECECECE

A single tear skated down her cheek before being soaked into the pillow beneath her head, leaving a shining track in its wake. Emma wiped it away with the hand she'd been keeping tucked between the bed and Clay's arm.

"And then when he told me you were okay, I felt like I could finally breathe again. I was allowed to be upset and happy and I didn't have to go through the motions of pretending I wasn't terrified you wouldn't come home." Her voice broke as a sob threatened to escape.

Clay slid Emma easily across the bed, closing the already small space between them and enfolding her in his arms. He was relieved that she seemed to calm quickly as she wedged herself tightly against him, but he couldn't help the bubble of guilt lingering in his stomach for being at the center of why she was upset. But she wasn't alone in this.

"I was scared too." He confessed with a whisper, his lips pressed to the soft skin of her forehead. Emma curled tighter into his chest.

"I know this life isn't easy. I've known that my entire life. Everytime we wouldn't hear from my dad for long stretches of time or when he'd get hurt after a close call. I know what that feels like. This wasn't like that."

She tilted her head back with a sniffle and shook her head as she met Clay's eyes. "This was different."

CECECECECECE

The sun had gone down hours ago but the lack of new information left her in an emotional limbo. Hannah allowed herself a break and took that time to shower while Emma was seated at the kitchen island trying to eat for the first time since breakfast. It brought that morning from the beginning of the summer to the forefront of Emma's mind. Sitting in the exact same spot the day after her first encounter with Clay, feeling giddy and uncertain. So different from how she felt now, only that uncertainty still lingered, dancing hand in hand with fear.

"Can I make you something else?"

Victoria Seaver's voice broke through the haze of her muddled thoughts. At Emma's confusion she gestured to the now cold bowl of soup she'd been stirring for the past ten minutes as she sat lost in her head.

She sighed, setting the spoon in the bowl. "I'm not really hungry."

"You have to eat, Emma." Victoria gently admonished, taking away the bowl and setting it by the stove. "You can't let yourself waste away."

"I know." Emma propped her elbows on the counter and dug the heel of her palms into her eyes. "I keep trying to think about what my mom would do, how she would cope. I think she kept herself distracted by making sure Mikey and I were okay."

"She did." Victoria confirmed. "Alana was a champion at it too."

Emma huffed a small laugh, remembering how her mom would bounce back and forth between her and her brother, trying to keep their lives as normal as possible. To not upset them. Not unless it was absolutely necessary.

"Sometimes I felt like she was preparing herself for it. Like if the worst had happened, she had a plan in place to keep us all from falling apart."

"She probably did." Victoria answered honestly. "We all do to a certain extent. Not that it makes it any easier."

"No." Emma agreed. Even the best planning wouldn't be enough to cushion that kind of blow.

Victoria sighed, leaning back against the sink and sipping at her cup of tea as she watched Emma follow an invisible path on the granite surface with her finger.

"If you're as serious about Clay Spenser as I think you are, I want you to know that I'm always going to be here for you when you need someone to talk to. No judgement."

"When?" Emma quirked her eyebrow. She received a knowing look in return.

"You can love him to bits but there will be days that you'll question your sanity for falling for a man like that."

They all did. Victoria did with Adam. Alana with Jason. Naima with Ray. The job isn't easy for anyone, but it can also be incredibly inconvenient in the face of family and relationships. And it must always come first.

On a surface level Emma has always known why her father chooses to do what he does. But it wasn't until she was older that she learned the difference between knowing and understanding. What she wasn't expecting was to gain a new understanding of her mother, and of the woman standing in front of her.

"There was a time that I swore I would go kicking and screaming before I ever let myself get involved with a guy who was military. Let alone a SEAL." Emma nodded with a wry smile. "It changed a bit as I got older and realized the problem was more about how my dad dealt with the job than the job itself. I know that people can make it work. I've seen people make it work. But I also know that seeing it work and being the one to make it work are two different things."

Emma was so sure that she had it all worked out in her mind long before she stepped foot in Virginia Beach for the summer. She could safely say she no longer turned her nose up at the notion. However, she was still adamant that one had to look up, down and both ways before crossing.

But then she had also never been faced with a man who was able to single-handedly turn all of that on its head without any effort at all.

"Then Clay came along. And I practically fell right into his arms without a second thought."

And of course she did. With those stupid blue eyes and dumb cherubic curls, as if any man has the right to have hair like that. And he had the audacity to open his mouth and be smart and funny and kind of wonderful. All of that combined with his ridiculously adorable smile. She didn't stand a chance.

So there Emma went, going against every concern she's ever had like a total sucker. Clay had her hook, line and sinker. And up until this moment, she never had a reason to look back. Because as easy as it was, there was a part of her that thought back to how hard she used to hold onto that stance and how growing up the way she did was the nexus of every doubt that built that wall.

Her next words were spoken softly, hesitantly, as though it took effort even saying them.

"Hannah said I could change my mind. Find someone else. Something that won't be so hard to live with."

Victoria sighed and shrugged one shoulder in agreement, placing her palms on the counter.

"She's not wrong."

She knew Hannah was Clay and Emma's biggest cheerleader. Victoria herself was surprisingly invested in the blossoming relationship, looking forward to hearing the updates her daughter would give about the two. She was practically already in the process of preparing her maid of honor speech. But Victoria also knew that Hannah would support her best friend in whatever she chose. Even if it meant walking away for her own peace of mind.

"Is that what you want?"

Is it?

Emma's lips trembled as she thought about Clay being ripped from her against both their will and having to move on with her life. Cope with the loss and the pain the way she knew Hannah and Victoria did. The way she did with her mom.

Maybe Emma should've known better before letting Clay step so easily into her life only to become one of the most important parts of it. Maybe she shouldn't have let herself fall so hard so fast knowing the risks. But that place at the core of her being that's home to everything she holds dear has already carved out a spot meant only for him. And Emma knows she'll carry it for the rest of her life. Knows how completely useless it would be to walk away when she'd still love him no matter how much distance is put between them.

She could pretend all she wanted that their connection could be hidden away and forgotten. As if Clay was just another one of her father's men. But losing him would still break Emma's heart in addition to knowing she would've already broken his too. Even the thought of it, the mere idea that she could move on as if there had never been anything there at all was absurd.

Because the simple fact was this: No one else would ever do for Emma Hayes. Not before Clay Spenser and certainly not after.

"No."

Victoria gave her a small, understanding smile and reached across the counter to grasp Emma's hand.

"You're at a crossroad right now, Emma. And I think you already know where you're heading. It's not an easy path to choose, but you know that too."

She did. This was a club she'd been a card carrying member of her entire life. Yet now that Emma was choosing it, it somehow felt like she had more to lose. Something which Victoria understood all too well as well.

"The day Adam and I got married, my mother told me something I'll never forget. She said 'Tory, life is short but love is long.' I never knew if she meant that as a blessing or as a warning. Sometimes I think it might have been both. Maybe neither. But I've been asked a lot of times by a lot of people how I dealt with losing my husband. If I still would've chosen Adam if I had known. Friends, family, co-workers. Even Hannah. I told all of them what I'm going to tell you."

Emma's attention was rapt as she waited for her answer.

"I wouldn't have traded a single second with that man, not even for a guarantee. I loved him and the life we built together, and he loved me. Completely. Not everyone gets to have that."

A beat of silence passed as Emma took in the meaning of her words and the weight they carried regarding the relationship forged between her and Clay. They shared a look of understanding when Victoria gave Emma's hand a single, firm squeeze before releasing it and turning towards the stove.

"Now, I'm going to make you a grilled cheese, you're going to clean your plate, take a long hot shower and get some rest. You need it."

Though kind, her tone brokered no argument as she began heating a pan while buttering slices of bread. Emma knew she would do well to listen. In the end, Victoria knew exactly what she was going through, and though it wouldn't be easy, the best way to get through it was exactly that.

Through.

CECECECECECE

Clay was equal parts relieved and conflicted. He was well aware that a life with him wouldn't be all sunshine and rainbows. The toll his job takes on home life and relationships is a reality that he and countless others like him have had to grapple with from the moment they signed on the dotted line. But it was hard knowing that loving him could be such a heavy weight to bear. Not when Emma's had to carry so much already.

Not when Clay has spent so much of his life not being enough for people to stay and too much for them to do anything but leave.

"You're sure?"

He hated even asking. Hated that he might have to accept a reality where their time together came to a screeching halt right then and there. Because Clay knew that the part of him that would accept her decision was battling with the half that was ready to beg Emma to change her mind. To stay with him. Let him make her happy.

But more than any of that, she had to be certain. He needed her to be certain.

"Clay." Emma admonished softly, cradling his scruffy cheek.

She may have been uncertain about herself but Emma never doubted how she felt about him. After all the time they spent together, it mystified her that he would think she'd give up on him so easily. As if she could cast him aside like seeing him wasn't the best part of her day. But, she reminded herself looking at those uncertain blue eyes, he's been burned before. Let down so many times in his life, made to feel like a burden who was better off being left behind. It wasn't just her he was protecting. It was himself.

Emma was determined to break the wheel and put a stop to the endless cycle of people that have come and gone in his life. Taking everything he gave and but giving nothing in return, leaving Clay feeling as though they never wanted or needed him at all. But he would never have to worry about that with her. Emma wanted him to understand that he wasn't alone in this great big thing they'd grown between them. It wasn't just him taking a risk.

She was asking him to take a chance on her too.

"Do you remember that lady at the butterfly exhibit? She asked us if we wanted her to take our picture and kept saying we made such a beautiful couple?"

Clay nodded hesitantly, unsure where this question was leading.

But he remembered the older woman making the comment with a knowing smile. Just before, Emma was taking a picture of him when not one, but two Monarchs decided to land on him, one on his head and the other on his shoulder. When she showed him the cutesy filter that gave him fluttery eyelashes, rosy cheeks and a flower crown, Clay had done his best to wrestle her phone away as she laughed about sending a copy to the guys. Admittedly, they never shied away from physical contact with each other. While it was seemingly innocent to them, to an outsider the affection between them heavily resembled the intimacy between couples. He was also reminded of how flustered both of them got before they tried to laugh it off. Looking back, the only people Clay and Emma were fooling were themselves.

"I really wanted it to be true." Emma confessed. "It was already getting hard to pretend that nothing was going on. I had to keep telling myself that it didn't matter because you didn't feel the same even though Hannah kept saying you did but I refused to believe her and I kept going through this cycle of denial over and over in my head and then...and then…you kissed me."

The corners of her mouth tilted up as she remembered that perfect moment where everything seemed to suddenly click in place.

"It was like the room had no ceiling or floor and I was just...floating."

Emma gave a small, watery laugh and sniffled. She swiped away her tears once more before taking a deep breath and locking eyes with him again, serious but no less honest.

"We're not always going to get it right on the first try. It's going to take hard work and compromise, but I believe in us. You're not my dad and I'm not my mom. Neither of us are our parents." She stated firmly, knowing it wasn't just her own insecurities about what she witnessed when it came to military marriages and relationships. Especially SEALs. "And if you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you, then you know that there could never be room for regret."

Clay nodded, swallowing heavily. He looked so hopeful that Emma couldn't resist cupping his face with both hands, bringing her forehead to rest against his.

"You can't make me promises about your safety or that you're always going to be here. I know that. All I ask is that you promise to do everything you can to make it back to me." Emma stated, a little afraid but resolute, pouring as much conviction into her voice as she could muster. "And I promise to always be here to welcome you home because I need you and I miss you and I-"

She cut off suddenly, knowing that once said these words could never be taken back. They would no longer be two people who became unusually close in such a small window of time. Never be able to look another person in the eye and claim their connection was just a friendship without it being a lie. And if Clay felt the same way like she suspected, as if he were constantly on the verge of being swept away by the rushing wave of feelings the way Emma was everytime she laid eyes on him, then both of their worlds would be irrevocably shifted.

But she's looking at him now. She sees his attentive gaze as he leaned into her touch while absentmindedly swiping his thumb over her hip bone. How open and earnest he is and always had been since the beginning. As quickly as her panic came, it began to cease, leaving behind utter certainty. Emma knew her words rang true. She knows she'll never regret a single day she spends with this man. Because in his hands, her heart will always be safe.

"I love you."

The words were said softly, as gentle as Emma's small palm against his cheek. But the monumental impact was unmistakable.

The small, concerned furrow at the center of Clay's brow smoothed out from shock and elation. The entire plane ride home was spent imagining how this conversation would go and all the millions of ways it could go wrong. Even though that gleam of hope that it would all go right lingered stubbornly, Clay never actually expected to hear this. He knew Emma cared about him, sure. She also liked him enough to let him kiss her, yeah. But love him? Just like that? No convincing or cajoling or having to ease her into the idea that he could be worth it if she just gave him a chance?

No, Clay thought. Not this girl.

Not his girl.

She's already decided. And like Jason, Emma wasn't in the habit of saying things if she didn't mean them. So if she said it, she meant it. And she loves him.

Clay was surprised to feel his own tears begin to collect in his eyes from the unbridled happiness coursing through him. How right this moment felt. It's been so long since he's heard those words that Clay almost forgot what it felt like. She loves him.

Emma Hayes loves him.

It was thrilling to even think about it. And even better is knowing that he no longer has to shove those feelings down and hope she doesn't notice how completely gone over her he is. Clay can tell Emma that he loves her as many times as he wants, in as many ways as he wants. Because he can. He can now.

Cradling the back of her head, Clay finally did what he's been dying to do since the moment he walked out of that bar what now felt like a lifetime ago. All that relief and longing and love coming together to culminate in this moment. In him leaning in without reservation or fear, and capturing her lips in a fierce kiss that she eagerly returned.

"Say it again." He hoarsely begged between kisses. His hands left her face as he gently crowded her to lay back against the bed with him now hovering over her. One forearm was planted next to her head, careful not to lean on her dark blonde hair while the other hooked around her waist.

"I love you." Emma shakily murmured once more against his lips. She felt so small in comparison to Clay's heavier form, but she was glad for it. Emma needed him and the way he surrounded her to keep her tethered after such an immense emotional release. Her legs came up to cradle his waist while she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, all in an effort to pull his solid form closer. Her gentle curves molded to his hard planes as his hips slotted perfectly between her thighs.

"I love you, Emma." Clay's voice was hoarse as he repeated his statement between kisses. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

God, Clay didn't think he'd ever get tired of saying that.

Emma couldn't help but smile against his lips at his declaration, her thoughts running parallel to his. It was like all those feelings that had been building up since the start had finally boiled over and she was being swept up in the giddy happiness and euphoric joy of how free she felt knowing she loved him and he loved her.

But as their kisses and caresses became more heated, the undeniable tendrils of arousal were beginning to take root. The arm Clay had wrapped beneath Emma slid to her lower back and brought her arching form closer as he shifted, placing more of his weight at the juncture of her thighs and sending bolts of pleasure surging through both of them. He took advantage when her mouth dropped open with a gasp as their hips met and slanted his mouth over hers to deepen their kiss. They explored each other unflinchingly. Hands roaming over each other's clothing while lips and tongues traversed over whatever bare skin either could reach . Both of them were intoxicated by the taste and feel of each other, and the knowledge that they no longer had to hold back.

She could bask in his warmth and the feel of smooth skin over hard muscle while tangling her fingers in his short curls. And he could steal nipping kisses, peppering them down her neck and shoulder while his hands mapped her delicate form, soft and supple.

Both of them were becoming desperate to reach what was hidden beneath their thin clothing. Which is why Clay wanted to kick himself for what he was about to do. He had one hand on Emma's thigh beneath her shirt, his fingertips brushing the lace on her hip while she continued to ground her center against him. It would be so easy to get rid of these minuscule barriers so they could finally feel every inch of each other, but he knew they were riding too high on a flurry of emotions to let things continue in the heated direction they were going.

He broke their kiss with a groan.

"Emma, wait wait wait, baby wait." Clay panted, fighting for control over the urge to see if he could turn her breathy little moans into shouts of pleasure.

"Why?" Emma whined in protest as his grip on her hips prevented her from moving.

"I know, trust me. I know. But we gotta stop." He rolled off of her and onto his back, scrubbing his face and taking deep breaths as he willed his body to calm down. It was made a little more difficult when Emma slid closer to press against his side. His heartbeat was racing against the small palm now resting on his chest.

"Let me take you on a real date first, Em. I don't want us to feel like we have to rush." Clay explained in response to Emma's arched brow as she laid her head against his shoulder. "Plus, it'll make it a lot easier for me to look your dad in the eye if I know I'm doing right by you."

She snorted, laughing at his reasoning but she acquiesced nonetheless. Emma could see by the pained look on his face that he didn't want to stop any more than she did. But if he needed this to make himself feel better then she wouldn't push. Much.

"Can I still stay the night? I promise to stay on my side of the bed." Emma smirked playfully, scooting away to lay on the other pillow.

Clay responded by reaching down to the end of the bed and pulling the covers up over them before wrapping her right back up in his arms.

"You can stay right here." He nuzzled his nose against hers as they snuggled close in the center of the bed. After the long week they've both had, they deserved to get some much needed rest.

Emma basked in the silence once more, feeling much more at peace in Clay's arms now that they were both secure in choosing each other. She was just starting to doze when she felt his lips press against her forehead.

"I promise." He murmured against the smooth skin.

Clay bent his head and captured Emma's lips in a soft kiss when she tilted her head up to ask what he meant.

"Whatever it takes, Em." Clay swore after breaking their kiss with a gentle pop. Peering down into Emma's shining eyes that held her own promise to be his home and his safe harbor. The place where he rests his head when the work is done. "I promise to do whatever it takes to make it home."

Unbeknownst to them, this is a promise that Clay would continue to make before every spin and every deployment. And in return Emma would make her own promise time and again as she saw him off. These words exchanged in soft tones and hurried whispers would become a mantra that got them through even the roughest of separations, and would one day cement themselves as vows for which the two would live by. Never to falter.

"I'll be here. Always."

A/N: I know this took forever, but we are FINALLY here. Please let me know what you guys think. Did it meet your expectations? Was it better? Did it miss the mark?

I. Need. To. Know.

But if you just want to stop in to read, I'm totally good with that too!

Please drop me a review if you've got any feedback, good or bad, or if you just want to say hi. Thanks for reading!