Author's notes:
This story is my gift for TygrisNox, keep being awesome. I had a lot of fun writing this.
I suck. Because of that this story wouldn't exist as it is without Philily. Thanks for being an awesome beta (I can't Enlghs), giving me great ideas, judging me harshly, and enduring my Elsanna obsession.
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The sound of her own light footsteps crunching snow echo in Elsa's ears.
The street is so quiet. Not a bird, nor an animal, much less another human.
She stops in front of the door and rings the bell, stuffing her hands inside her pockets.
As she waits she sways her body, changing her stance out of boredom, chilling outside. She takes this time to try and pinpoint what else had changed in the neighborhood in her absence.
At least she can enjoy the wait unphased by the cold. There's no hot puff of air when Elsa breathes. It was THE joke about her every winter. Elsa the Snow Queen, like the one in the fairy tale. Nobody should ever stop under a mistletoe next to her, they used to say, lest you forget who you are if she kisses you.
As the years passed the joke stopped bothering her, but not the accident that prompted the joke's existence. She figured it was a good way for everyone else to cope. Maybe a good way to cope even for her.
What am I doing here? I shouldn't have came. I didn't run away, but why do I feel like I don't belong here anymore?
It's not like Elsa cut all ties when she left for college. They still call on her birthday and she still calls on theirs. More importantly, she still chats online with most of her redheaded peers, mainly Anna.
And holy crap, it sure is a ton of birthdays to remember.
Her attention goes back to the door as she hears it opening. "Hey." Elsa greets automatically with her hands still inside her pockets.
A redhead with pigtails stares back at her. A full second passes in silence until Anna squeaks with glee and jumps into Elsa's arms.
"YOU CAME!"
Completely stunned, Elsa has no other option but to hold Anna, otherwise she would allow her friend the terrible fate of falling butt first in the cold unforgiving hardwood flooring.
Elsa grunts, barely holding Anna's weight, but adjusts her balance and succeeds at stabilizing them both while Anna's legs waggle in the air and Anna's arms snake around her neck.
"I was starting to fear you wouldn't come, but you're here! I can't believe you're really here!"
I can't believe I am here either.
Anna giggles happily, nuzzling Elsa's face. Elsa freezes and blushes.
When was the last time they touched so intimately? Two years? No. Four years? More?
She doesn't have time to think of any implications when she realizes she's touching waaaaay more than she thinks she is supposed to be. Not only is Anna barefoot with her feet in the air, she's also hardly wearing anything fit for this weather, unless you count the baggy sweater, but her shorts show more skin than Elsa is used to.
She gulps, feeling the warmth spreading all the way up to her cheeks. Her fingers are sinking into Anna's bare, warm thighs.
Crap. Am I blushing? Why am I blushing? Stop blushing!
Elsa sighs powerlessly. What else can she do but endure the typhoon that is Anna? "How can you wear something like that?"
"No 'it's so good to see you again', after all this time?" Anna laughs unrepentant. "It's hot enough inside, come on."
Anna disentangles herself from Elsa with the intention of getting out of Elsa's arms.
"Eeek!"
But as soon as her feet touch the cold wet floor she comically jumps back into Elsa's arms, taking Elsa by surprise again when both of them are almost thrown off the porch.
Elsa snorts, accepting her own fate and walking inside with Anna in her arms.
She feels stunned when she walks in. In a way it's like I never left. Like this house got frozen in time at an overly happy Christmas day after everyone went to sleep. Her field of vision is filled with more Christmas decorations than she ever saw inside this house before. Not that some years didn't get close.
"Wow… You went overboard this year." Elsa comments after placing Anna on the floor.
Anna always liked Christmas better than Elsa, but Elsa never knew it was this much. Or is it a recent development?
"No time like the present, big party and all." Anna swats Elsa's chest.
"Who's coming? You said it was big, but-"
"The whole gang, you know how it goes."
"Everyone? Really?"
"Yeap."
Wow.
The last Christmas Elsa could remember with everyone present was, what, ten years ago? As the time passed gathering all of Anna's family was a harder and harder task, everyone with their busy lives and growing families.
For Elsa being in this house feels like coming back home. Not that she lived here literally. Well, maybe literally? She simply spent more time here than in her own house. Anna's family and all her siblings and cousins and whatever extended family was around functioned as unofficial babysitters for most of Elsa's life. Elsa's own house was always too empty, her parents always busy with work.
Silence falls between them as Elsa looks around checking out the decor in more detail. She is not sure what to say, what subject to bring up, so she avoids looking at Anna.
Suddenly Anna hugs her from behind. Elsa's eyes widen, completely frozen.
"I missed you."
Anna's bittersweet tone sends shivers down Elsa's spine. She turns to give Anna an appropriate hug.
Elsa feels her throat bob when she looks at Anna. She wanted to be normal next to her. While Elsa doesn't think she is behaving normally she feels normal. Like she belongs. In a way it's like she never left. Or is it simply the way Anna looks at her?
"I missed you too ladybug."
Anna pulls away and grins. "Will you help me with the decor?"
Elsa looks at Anna stupefied. "You aren't done?" There's enough green, red, and gold here to put a mall to shame.
"No, silly. First we finish this then I make you some hot chocolate, what about that?"
"Sounds good."
"Kay, kay, be right back."
Elsa watches Anna vanishing through a door and finds herself alone again. Waiting. It's something she never liked. Being alone and waiting.
Her mind drifts back to her own house… White walls instead of wood. It wasn't a particularly elegant house but its emptiness reminded Elsa of the sterile environment of a hospital or… It just felt cold compared to the warmth of Anna's house. Its welcoming cabin aesthetic, like a warm safe haven in the middle of the cold uninhabited woods of Elsa's life.
And Anna family always… they always shared. She was simply one more. Just a blonde head in a crowd of red. It made her feel like a Harry Potter in a crowd of Weasleys, that never failed to make her feel special somehow. They simply accepted her being there, unbothered by the extra mouth to feed, as if she was one of them. Here she could belong and never feel alone. In a way one can safely say she was raised by Anna's family instead of her own parents.
Anna comes back with a cardboard box slightly too big for her to be carrying by herself.
Elsa hurries to help her put it down.
But Anna doesn't accept her help, chuckling. "Thanks prince, but I'm a big girl now."
Elsa scratches her neck embarrassed. "I didn't mean it like that." That was a very old joke, but this one is only between the two of them. Elsa never decided how she felt about being called a prince.
As Anna crouches to open the box Elsa starts thinking about who will actually come. Anna said everyone, but she can't believe that. It's like saying you know everyone inside a stadium. Anna convinced Elsa to come back this year because she said it was a very rare, very big party. It got Elsa curious about the feat, and… how could she avoid that? She couldn't simply not be here, it would be like missing a planetary alignment. A planetary alignment that would miss a-not-blood-related planet. I know they'd notice my absence. Anna keeps gushing about how they miss me.
Deep down Elsa finds that hard to believe. The older she got the more she felt like an intruder. Always afraid her presence would be noticed and she would be kicked out. A parasite trying to not disrupt with the digestive system, so it can feed off their familial love. That's why she ran away as soon she was accepted into college.
Wait… Everyone? Like… Partners? All the in laws too? Can this house hold so many people? I know it's big and it has two floors but even then…
Her brows furrow. What about Kristoff? Will he stay with his own family or will his family come here? "Is Kristoff coming?"
Anna looks startled for a second, then blushes as she rearranges a strand in her pigtails. She hesitates before she replies. "Kristoff and I broke up. I forgot to tell you."
Oh. When was that? Elsa has been speaking with Anna more often lately, even if it's been two years since they didn't video call or see each other face to face. Wasn't she planning to tell me or… I don't know. Didn't she think it's important? Anyway, it doesn't matter, just be nice with her you dickhead. "I'm sorry… Are you alright?"
Anna waves a hand, still blushing as she looks back at the box. "I'm fine. It wasn't working."
Elsa merely bounces in the balls of her feet, unwilling to ask for details. Part of her hungers to know, partially because why did Anna wait for Elsa to bring it up? Was it a bad break-up?
Anna breaks the silence, still staring at the box instead of Elsa. "I just realized it wasn't what I wanted."
Oh. Crap. That doesn't sound too good. "Did you… fight?" I just… I want to comfort her.
Anna picks up rolls of Christmas lights and stands up. When her friend faces her Elsa feels a chill run down her spine. Anna always had such a piercing gaze. "Nothing like that. We are good friends."
What does she mean?
Elsa feels like Anna said something completely different. Anna's mouth moved and Elsa's ears heard right, but what she saw and what she heard felt disconnected. Elsa thinks it's the way Anna looked at her that didn't match what she said, almost as if she wanted to say something else. She doesn't look sad about it… Like she knew why it wasn't working. Why do I care why it wasn't working? That's none of my business.
Before Elsa can reflect more about about it Anna smiles and pulls Elsa's arm. "Now that you're finally here you can do something for me. You're perfect for the job."
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"You've got to be fucking kidding me."
"I think you're doing great!"
"Why didn't you do this earlier?"
"Because it was too cold!"
"It won't get any warmer!"
"You're the Snow Queen!"
I can't believe this shit.
"Why don't you put some PANTS on and do it now?"
"You know my balance sucks!"
Elsa groans, rolling her eyes. She can't believe Anna convinced her to do this. She finishes climbing the roof with the ropes of Christmas lights on her shoulder.
She looks down. Damn. Shit. Shouldn't have looked down. This house is taller than it looks from the ground! She wobbles, taking one step at a time, careful not to slip.
Placing Christmas lights on Santa's sleigh. Perfect job for the Snow Queen my ass.
"I'm not fucking Santa to be in the roof with a fucking sleigh-" Elsa rants to herself.
"You're adorable as Santa! You don't even need a wig!"
"Shut up!"
All Anna does is giggle as she watches from the safety of the balcony while Elsa works decorating the sleigh with lights.
Elsa knows why she was so easily manipulated. Why this is the perfect job for her. The Snow Queen has a sleigh. The Snow Queen isn't bothered by the cold. The Snow Queen can perfectly stay outside for hours putting up Christmas decor and won't catch a cold.
Elsa takes one last look at her work before trying to climb down, but Anna's voice stops her.
"Wait right there! Get in the sleigh."
Elsa frowns. "What?"
"Come on!"
Anna grins, raising an old fashioned professional film camera.
Elsa blinks, understanding what Anna wants. She crosses her arms. "No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Pretty please? It's a special Christmas!"
Elsa rolls her eyes. Stupid traditions. She should have guessed this is what Anna planned all along.
Elsa jumps inside the sleigh, adjusting her hair and doing her classic Snow Queen pose, elegant and poised.
Anna squeaks with glee as she takes the picture. "All done!" Anna shouts, distracted with the camera.
Of course Elsa knew Anna had this in mind, but she didn't want to believe Anna still cared…
Elsa sighs. Climbing down the roof like a cat. Traditions. Every year Anna took a pic of her inside any sleigh she liked, even if that sleigh wasn't hers or meant to be climbable.
"See? That's why I needed you up there." Anna pats Elsa's shoulder when her feet touch the balcony again.
That's SO inappropriate. "How about don't do it to begin with? This is fucked."
"But I like my roof all glowy."
"It's an unnecessary life hazard."
"In that case I am totally safe because I have you and your strong arms to do it for me. Couldn't do it without you."
Elsa scratches her neck embarrassed. The truth is she likes doing these stupid things for Anna. Just to see her smile.
"Everyone will love this!" Anna smirks still distracted with the camera.
What? Can she develop that film in time for the party? "No!"
"What?"
"You didn't tell me you were going to show that pic to everyone! I thought it wouldn't get done by tomorrow!"
Anna blinks, her mouth opening in astonishment and realization. "Yes, of course. Silly me."
Elsa squints her eyes. There's something very wrong here and I'm not liking it.
"Anyway," Anna takes Elsa by the arm. "Let's head back inside. You can have that hot chocolate now."
"I deserve that hot chocolate now."
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Elsa hums, comfortably resting in the kitchen. She sips the chocolate and honestly, it's perfect. She raises her eyes to look at Anna only to notice the redhead staring intently at her.
What… What does that- what does she-
Elsa shakes her head wordlessly. No, no way.
Anna just keeps staring at her with puppy eyes.
No, no- arg. Elsa sighs in defeat, her shoulders dropping for a second before she squares them again. Anna bounces in her chair excitedly when she sees Elsa gave in.
Elsa takes a large gulp of the steaming beverage and makes an angry face. She closes her eyes and exhales via her nostrils.
A large puff of condensed water comes out.
Anna claps her hands to the demonstration, as if it was some impressive feat. But I know she's mocking me. "You can still do it! Just like a dragon!"
"I thought I was your prince?"
Anna grins. "What's better than a dragon prince?"
"A prince that isn't a dragon?"
Anna snorts. "Come on, do it again."
Elsa sighs, taking another large gulp, less elegant this time. She exhales through her mouth now making a growling sound. "I will get you," Elsa manages in a decently deep tone, "lock you in my tower."
Anna stands, sitting on Elsa's lap and wrapping her arms around Elsa's neck. "And how is your tower, mighty dragon? Is it comfy?"
Elsa freezes. That's the third hug today, what the hell. She gulps, trying to keep in character. "Very cold." Elsa starts playfully. "You will hate it."
Anna scoffs, jumping from Elsa's lap. "You're no fun."
"Oh, so I am no fun?"
"No…" Anna grabs a broom. "You see, being no fun is a crime in this county. As its princess it is my duty to enforce the law."
Elsa raises an eyebrow. "And what is the punishment?"
"I will have to slay you." Anna squints and grins like a cat, positioning herself like a sword fighter and pointing the plastic tip of the broom at Elsa. "Vvvvsssshhheewwrr."
"I am an unarmed dragon." Elsa raises her hands in surrender, but Anna dashes at her anyway, forcing Elsa to get up and evade the very real broom.
"A dragon is still a dragon!"
"That's hardly fair! I invoke the rights of mystic creatures!"
"Denied! Vvvvvrrrrew!" Anna fences at Elsa again, making fancy sword noises with her mouth.
"How does a princess have a lightsaber anyway?" Elsa shouts as she makes her escape out of the kitchen.
"It is a very advanced realm with good interstellar trade!"
Elsa jumps to hide herself behind the couch where Anna can't see her.
She hears Anna walking as she surveys her surroundings in search of ammo and spots a dust pan. As she reaches for it she steps on the box of decorations Anna brought in and holds back a hiss of pain as not to denounce her position.
"You can hide but I can smell the brimstone from here, you know."
Elsa raises from her hideout mock offended. "Are you saying I smell?!"
"Like a skunk!" Anna dashes to where Elsa is.
Elsa gasps dramatically, raising the dusting pan to defend herself from Anna's makeshift sword.
"How dare you!" Elsa can hardly pass a convincing offended tone. She shoves Anna making the woman lose balance and roll down the couch.
"Accio enchanted lasso!" Elsa kicks the box, using a plank as lever, tossing some of the left over Christmas lights on the air and grabs them.
Anna stares at Elsa wide eyed on the floor as their eyes met.
Yes, you know exactly what I am gonna do.
Anna squeaks and starts running away on all fours before she can recover enough balance to stand on two feet.
Elsa puts a foot proudly balancing herself on the back of the couch and roars before she starts chasing after Anna.
"You can't be a dragon AND a wizard! It's not fair!"
"So now you care about fairness?!"
"Have mercy lady dragon!"
"NEVER!"
Elsa tackles Anna on the floor, starting to wrap the Christmas lights around Anna.
"No! No, ahaha- please stop- no- don't tie me! I am kidding! I surrender- please don't!"
"Too late." Elsa grins playfully, tying Anna like a foal in a rodeo.
Anna doesn't go down without a fight, kicking Elsa in the shin, making her lose her balance and fall on top of Anna.
Elsa blinks, trying to clear her blurry vision. All she sees in front of her is Anna's face.
Their breaths hitch as they remain in silence.
Elsa's eyes are immediately drawn to the scar across Anna's nose.
She remembers it as if it had just happened. They were playing like today and ended up under the mistletoe on top of the stairs. One of Anna's cousins decided to mock them and started shouting "kiss" repeatedly. Other cousins joined the chorus and Elsa had got annoyed because they were upsetting Anna. When she angrily turned to fight them… I didn't see her, I only felt her when my elbow hit her.
For so many years she wished she had been more careful. If she had she wouldn't have accidentally pushed Anna down the stairs. If she had been careful there wouldn't be blood on the steps and the first floor.
If I had been careful… She wouldn't have turned to her parents and asked who was the strange girl in the room.
Eventually Anna recovered the little memory she had lost. No one blamed Elsa, but the joke stayed. The grim method of the family to cope with mistakes. Nobody kiss the Snow Queen under the mistletoe or else they'll forget who they are.
But it was never a joke for Elsa. She always pretended it was.
Along with all the guilt it also skewed Elsa's view of Anna. Or better, the way she thinks Anna sees her. Why had Anna befriended her? Pity? Did Anna pity the lonely weird girl? Was it purely because of hidden motivations? Did Anna want the help of the smart girl? Was it to show off? Did she want a way to stand out, being one of the middle children? Did Anna's parents tell her to befriend the outcast?
With time their friendship resumed where it had stopped and Elsa decided to stop overanalyzing. It was what it was. She was happy being with Anna and the alternative was basically being all by herself again. To lose every good thing she had.
In fact, she isn't sure, but she can swear the boys lessened the ratio of pranks with her. Maybe they were afraid someone didn't come back from the hospital the next time. She never truly understood why they accepted her. Anna's siblings and cousins had never stopped embracing her, playing with her and helping her like they always had.
She was happy again, but...
While she had stopped over analyzing motivations, everything felt dullened. She couldn't believe their affection was genuine anymore. There was no one to blame but herself. She was the one that spoiled it all.
It was then she stopped feeling like a Harry Potter among Weasleys and more like an intruder. When she was a teen she couldn't see their attention the same way. While she didn't want to be alone, none of it mattered in the same way.
Then the boyfriends started. Not like they never existed. Anna's older sisters always brought boyfriends. Elsa never cared then, but Anna's boyfriends bothered her. Like they were stealing the attention of her best friend. The cut for Elsa in Anna's time pie chart lessened each day. Boys and school applications took priority.
Time moved on. Anna changed. Her family had changed. The house had changed.
Elsa had changed. She didn't think twice after getting a scholarship in a different state.
They never lost touch completely, but things with Anna had never been the same…
Until now.
"Mistletoe."
"Huh?"
Anna's green eyes point at something upon them.
Elsa follows her gaze and sees that in fact they had fallen under a mistletoe. She shakes her head accepting of… Her life, her past. The now. Everything. What else can she do? Being resentful or guilty never helped anyone.
She lowers her head as expected. Better to kiss the Snow Queen than have her kiss you.
Anna can't move her arms, but she kisses Elsa's forehead softly. Why does it feel different?
"I'm sorry." Anna starts when Elsa is disentangling her.
"For what?"
"That running gag is mean."
"You didn't come up with it. It's not your fault."
As soon as one of Anna's arms is loose she places a hand on Elsa's shoulder. "No. I should have said something."
"You were a kid in a house full of kids. You were the only one that actually liked me there. That's what matters."
Anna scowls. "That's not true."
Elsa smiles caressing Anna's hair. "Even if it isn't, they love me as a surrogate. It's fine, Anna. Let's drop it."
Anna stands, completely free now. "No, I- I don't want to drop it. I don't even know why you accepted coming back."
I don't know either.
Elsa rubs her face. "Do you have something to drink?"
Anna blinks. "I have hard eggnog?"
Elsa groans mentally, but in reality only shrugs. I should have known and brought vodka.
"Better than nothing."
"Wait here."
Elsa watches Anna go and sits on the couch, closing her eyes.
She feels a hand offering her the mug and she sips from it in silence. Anna sits across from her in a different couch.
"I ruined the mood, didn't I?" Anna rubs her own arm, sipping from the eggnog.
I guess.
"There's nothing to ruin, Anna. The past is in the past."
"Is it really that hard to believe they love you?"
What does it matter? Is she comparing it with her own love for me? Elsa rubs her face. "No- it isn't hard. I know they love me." Elsa pauses, thinking the words but they escape her lips regardless. "Tough love."
"I'm sorry-"
Elsa raises a hand. "Don't be. I didn't come here to be miserable."
Why did I come here?
Elsa looks at Anna, the alcohol giving her newfound clarity. "I came here to see you."
Anna blushes and wriggles her hands nervously. "Thank you… for coming."
Elsa looks at her pants, pensive. She doesn't feel like moving from her spot. "Come here."
Anna hesitates but moves and sits besides her leaning on Elsa's shoulder. Elsa exhales softly. "I don't regret coming, so don't fret over it."
Anna bites her lower lip. "Even when I made you climb the roof?"
"Even then."
"You really are a good friend."
Friend… Elsa snorts. "You know, I was jealous of your boyfriends."
"Oh?" That seems to pick Anna's interest. "And why is that?"
"All your time was for them, not me. How can I be your prince when you toss me away like that?" Great plan Elsa. Liquid courage can also make you stupidly honest.
"I didn't toss you away."
"You so did."
"No."
"You just didn't notice- Look. Forget I said anything."
"How could I know you felt alone when you didn't say anything."
That's not what forget what I said means.
"Just drop it."
Anna huffs and sits on Elsa's lap, straddling her. "I told you before, I don't want to drop anything."
"Why did you call me here? Was it actually because of the party or you were moping and thought you couldn't shrug it off with a call so you decided 'hey, I will ask Elsa over so she can tell me there's nothing to worry about'. Great move." Elsa sips from the eggnog again.
Anna squints her eyes. "Do you hate me?"
"No."
She shifts in my lap before she talks again. "Were you jealous?"
"I just said I was jealous."
"But what were you jealous of?"
What, indeed?
"Your time, I just said that. Want me to write it?"
Anna shoves a hand on Elsa's mouth. "Stop being a grumpy ass." She takes the mug from Elsa's hand. "If just hard eggnog does this with you- I don't even want to know."
"What do you really want from me? Are you lonely after you dumped your fiance or is this because he dumped you?"
Anna shifts again on Elsa's lap. "What if that's what it is?"
What? "What?"
"You heard me. What if I am moping because my fiance dumped me? So what?" Anna presses a hand on Elsa's chest. She doesn't do anything else, only keeps the pressure there.
It is enough to make Elsa's heart thump faster.
"I'd say you're an awful person."
"Is that something you didn't know before?"
Alright I wasn't expecting that. "You're not awful."
"Then why are you so grumpy with me?"
"I do everything you want me to!"
Anna's hand moves to the zipper on Elsa's hoodie. Elsa holds her breath as Anna pulls down the zipper.
Elsa's hand shoots up and holds Anna's wrist.
"I won't be your rebound-"
It hurts. It hurts so fucking much. Elsa can't believe this… After all these years, how can Anna be so awful-
"And why is that?"
"What?"
"Why do you do everything I want?"
Elsa squints at Anna and they glare at each other. Eventually Elsa relents, giving in first.
I can't believe I am doing this. "I just want to see you smile."
Anna doesn't say anything, instead resting her head on Elsa's chest. "I'm sorry."
"Stop saying you're sorry."
"No… Sorry for letting you think I'd go as low as to get you to agree to be my rebound."
"If you liked girls at least-"
"Why do you think I don't like girls?"
"Hell how should I know! You never told me."
Wait… She does?
Anna simply grins back at her. Elsa drops her arms, dumbfounded. "It doesn't make it any less wrong."
Anna nods. "No, no, it doesn't."
The redhead places her hands on Elsa's shoulders, staring into her eyes. "Which is why it hurts me that you think I'd call my best friend for a quick fuck because a guy made me sad."
Elsa gulps, feeling the weight of Anna's hands on her shoulders growing as heavy as lead. But not in a bad way, just hard to ignore. Her eyes flicker from Anna's eyes to her lips, maybe even to Anna's neck. She doesn't dare go down to her chest. I'm not a horny dickhead.
But she feels, horny that is, and perhaps like a dickhead too. She clenches her hands and realizes she is touching Anna's bare thighs again in an instinct to support her… Or is it something else?
Immediately she takes off her hands as if they were over fire. She gulps, feeling like she just made a mistake. That she gave too much away.
Anna's gaze is laser focused on Elsa and it feels like she is about to eat Elsa's soul and use her bones as a toothpick.
Elsa fidgets with Anna on her lap, Anna's fingers clawing at her flesh making her feel trapped. There's nowhere to run and there isn't enough alcohol to get me drunk. She takes up the courage to ask something she figured out hours ago but it had never made sense until now.
"There's no one else coming, is there?"
The mood changes immediately and Anna's eyes widen subtly. So she didn't think I'd notice? There's no way I'd be the first and only to arrive by now. Anna stares into her own lap embarrassed. She blushes as she replies. "Most of the family are on a cruise, so there is a big reunion somewhere. So… not a lie? Not all of it?"
Normally Elsa would call Anna on her bullshit statement but right now her mind is too busy. What do I say? What do I do? What does this mean? Why did she plan this? Don't be dumb Elsa. You know why. I need more eggnog.
"You really like when I smile?"
I am not alive. I crashed my car on the way and I am having a hallucination.
Elsa nods, her hand shaking as she holds Anna's in her own. "When you smile and I know I was the one that did it… It's like all the pieces of the puzzle of my life fall in place and for a moment everything is alright."
Anna is silent for a while before she brushes her nose on Elsa's, making Elsa shake hesitantly.
"I… I thought a lot about it." Anna's hands rest on Elsa's stomach. "I've thought- what was missing in my life. Why I wasn't happy."
Anna chuckles ruefully, shaking her hair, her pigtails almost undone in the chase. "You'd laugh if you knew how Kristoff and I broke up- It's so silly and-" Anna catches herself and stops talking.
Elsa wants to know. She really does, but at the same time she really doesn't want to hear about Anna's ex right now.
"But today- today when I saw you the world wasn't grey anymore." She caresses Elsa's face with the back of her hand. "And I could laugh with you and be myself and I could simply be happy again."
Anna's hand brushes Elsa's lips and Elsa kisses them. "You see… when we broke up… He was jealous of you."
Elsa's breath hitches. It doesn't make any sense. Me? Why would he- It's surreal. I am not listening what I am listening. This is not happening.
It can't be happening.
"You're right, you're not my prince."
Anna lowers her mouth right next to Elsa's ear.
"I always saw you as my Queen."
Elsa's eyes widen and a shiver runs down all of her body. Her hands move on their own accord seizing Anna's thighs. Her intent was to make it stop, maybe even push Anna away. I just need space-!
However it has a completely different effect on Elsa, making her libido spike. Elsa stares at Anna's lips, her heart threatening to escape her ribcage. Anna squints her eyes like a cat, apparently very pleased with Elsa's reaction.
Elsa feels frozen on the spot. Anna is the one to close the distance, claiming Elsa's lips.
Elsa's whole being hums in delight, one hundred percent sure this is not happening. They're kissing- She's kissing me- We are kissing. We-
Anna… When had she not loved Anna? Never? Elsa loved Anna even before she could understand what it meant. When the world slowed down and she saw Anna going down the stairs she knew there was no turning back from her even if she didn't understand why. She thought she lost her friend. The world had ended for her. She'd give her life in exchange for Anna's any second.
The only thing I could do was move on when she didn't need me anymore.
"You don't need me." Elsa wants to cry. I don't need her either. I was living a good life. It was all behind me. It was, wasn't it? Please tell me it was? That everything was fine?
Anna pulls away at Elsa's statement and looks at her curiously. She doesn't look mad. Instead she holds Elsa's face and kisses away her tears. She doesn't stop there, still kissing Elsa's face after the tears are gone. "I do. And I am sad it took me so long to notice."
Elsa fails to hold back a sob.
"The way I feel when I am with you- If you don't want this I would- I would never force you- I thought- I'm stupid- I assumed things." Anna laughs ruefully staring at a wall instead of Elsa.
When Anna makes mention of moving Elsa holds her.
Elsa doesn't say anything. Anna doesn't say anything either. They wordlessly stare at each other.
Elsa closes the distance between them, holding her Anna in her arms, seeking her lips desperately. The way Anna responds makes Elsa melt; she closes her eyes, her mind floating… this is real… it's happening- it's-
Elsa buzzes with joy and relief, finally having Anna in her arms. Her Anna.
After all these years… to feel against me… I don't deserve it.
For how long did I desire this? …Ever since I saw her kissing one of her boyfriends? Before?
Elsa can't pinpoint a moment when it could have happened. It didn't happen overnight. It occurred as small things changed… As Anna and Elsa changed. When Elsa started noticing why Anna never stayed without a boyfriend unless she wanted to. Elsa knew how much Anna had grown, how much she measured. She had noticed the curve of her breasts growing, the shape of her body. The fat going to all the right places…
And she had found Anna beautiful.
Elsa pulls away starry eyed, drinking in the sight of Anna. She grew even fuller, in all the right ways. "You're gorgeous…" Elsa blushes, embarrassed that she said it out loud. But I wanted to say it. Needed even.
Anna grins back at her like a happy cat. The reply is Anna claiming Elsa's lips again, hungrier than before. Anna's tongue demands entrance and Elsa allows, further melting into Anna's arms.
They're still kissing when Elsa feels her own hand being guided towards Anna's breast, being pushed against the soft mound. Elsa purrs into the kiss, unwilling to let go, but eventually she has to breath.
They look at each other. The redhead's face is red from blushing, her eyes full of mirth and unbridled want.
Elsa feels a shiver running up her spine, knowing what Anna wants. Her hands find the hem of Anna's sweater and Anna helps to take it off. She looks into Anna's eyes, her gaze lowering to take in Anna's body… the years gave her a more womanly shape than Elsa last remembered. Her attention is glued to the sea of freckles vanishing between the valley of Anna's bra… On instinct she closes the distance, resting her face on Anna's bosom. Her nostrils flare as she inhales Anna's scent, relaxing at the sound of her steady heartbeat.
"I love you." Elsa murmurs as Anna kisses the top of her head, caressing the sides of Elsa's face.
"I love you too Snow Queen." Anna bites her lower lip. "You think it's a bad time to guess what we got for each other? I've been wanting to do that all day."
Elsa blinks and pulls away to look at Anna. Her jaw drops stupefied. "Now? Really?!" Of all times she could want to do it- sure it's one of our old traditions, but weren't we supposed to do it tomorrow?
It is impossible to tell whether Anna is joking or not. Elsa snorts and pulls Anna's waist closer.
"What about no?" How can she think of something like that now? I am crawling up the walls out of sexual frustration.
"What about yes and I guess first because we just established you love me and you will do it because it will make me happy."
Elsa whines and buries her face on Anna's chest again. "Fiiiiiiine. But I hope your gift is good."
Anna giggles and taps her chin. "Let me see… Hmm… I assume you're even worse at picking presents for me than you were before, so you went with something safe. So I saaaay... you got me a baby Yoda."
Elsa only groans loudly, her face still buried in warm womanly comfort to drown her misery. "Am I that obvious?" Elsa mumbles against her chest.
"Apparently. Is it in the car?"
"Yes. Did you somehow spy on my car?"
"And used x-ray vision to see under the wrapping?"
"I don't put it past you, miss denies the right of mystic creatures."
"Sure. Guilty as charged, yadda yadda. Now guess mine."
"I can't lose if I don't play."
"Come on. Look up and guess."
Elsa huffs and pulls away from Anna's chest to look at her. She feels too horny to guess anything. She raises her eyes to look at Anna… and her eyes widen with realization when she sees Anna is wearing a present bow on top of her head.
"You cheap. Didn't even get me a real gift." She sounds mock offended, taking off the bow from Anna's head and kissing her knuckles.
"I got the holiday for us. Shut up and finish unwrapping."
Elsa can't deny the arguments in that or take the smile out of her face when she kisses Anna again and feels two arms wrapping around her neck. Elsa realizes she didn't need to be worried, they easily go back to where they had left off, their libidos catching up effortlessly. Actually, it feels better than before. Calmer. Easier.
Hotter. Mainly with the way Anna starts grinding her hips on Elsa's lap. "Fuck."
"That's the idea." Anna groans hoarsely, biting Elsa's neck.
Oh God.
Elsa sinks her fingers like claws on Anna's waist, lifting her own tight to give Anna more purchase. The woman takes it eagerly, her hands invading the hem of Elsa's shirt and pulling it up so it bundles on top of Elsa's bosom.
They keep kissing, devouring each other as Elsa finds the hem of Anna's shorts. She tries to tug it down to get it off Anna, but Anna doesn't budge. She keeps grinding on Elsa's lap, so instead Elsa just pushes her hand inside.
Her reward is a keen cry of pleasure when Elsa starts playing with her pubes, accidentally brushing her clit. She's- she's not even wearing panties, the minx.
Anna pulls Elsa closer, her hands hiding themselves under Elsa's bra and the need Elsa feels translates into seeking Anna's folds, exploring her.
Elsa wonders about stopping, about doing this in a different way, but the way Anna's hands grip her own breasts she can't imagine them stopping now.
Anna certainly doesn't want to stop now as she holds Elsa's wrist, pushing it further inside her shorts. Elsa whines, finding her entrance. Anna's channel wraps her and it's welcoming, warm, moist, so, so moist, so ready for me.
"Anna-" Elsa needs to express how she feels, but Anna kisses her again, riding Elsa's hand and lap and Elsa obliges with abandon, giving Anna anything she might want.
"Fuck- you feel so good." Anna sounds so hot on Elsa's ear. Elsa whimpers before she grunts and pulls Anna's waist closer possessively circling her thumb on Anna's clit and delving in deeper. Anna bounces on her lap, moaning loudly and Elsa drinks the sight in front of her. She had no other words to describe it but beautiful. Like a work of art. Elsa feels grateful for just being here to witness it… no. A hint of pride grows in her chest. It is her art.
And Anna likes it, both of her hands seeking for purchase on Elsa's shoulders as Anna finishes, her back arches and she stares at the ceiling, the pleasure written all over face as she comes. Her spasms wrapping Elsa wonderfully and Elsa herself feels in heaven along with Anna when the redhead pulls her into a needy kiss of post orgasmic bliss.
"I take back what I said," Elsa starts when Anna finally pulls away, leaving her breathless, "this was the best christmas present ever."
They stay like that in silence as both of them recover their breaths, Anna resting languidly on top of her.
Eventually, Anna wipes the sweat from her forehead. "Oh, is that what you think?" Anna raises an eyebrow, smirking and getting off Elsa's lap, much to Elsa's dismay, who tries to follow her and pull her back into her lap, but Anna pushes her back, keeping her seated where she is.
"Maybe not. You didn't even let me unwrap my 'gift'." Elsa crosses her arms grumpily.
"I will unwrap it for you." Anna purrs, swaying her hips as she expertly takes off her bra, then keeps the show by sensuously pushing down her shorts… making Elsa gulp as Anna is naked in front of her.
Seeing Anna's chest nude is one thing, but seeing her fully nude is something else entirely. Her throat bobs, feeling uncomfortable between her legs. Shit. I feel so fucking wet. This is embarrassing.
Elsa feels uncomfortable in Anna's behalf. She's still mostly fully clothed, while Anna is-
But Anna seems very intent to remedy that as she kneels on the floor in front of Elsa and starts tugging off Elsa's pants. It is then that it dawns on Elsa how much sexual experience Anna has. Her mind betrayed her, imagining Anna doing this for her boyfriends.
Elsa closes her eyes for a moment and stops Anna's hands. "You don't have to- I am good."
Anna frowns deep in thought. "Do you… Don't you like it?" Anna wonders curiously. "Are you like… a butch- no, wait. A top? Is that it?"
Huh? Elsa doesn't know if she's relieved or not with Anna's knowledge about lesbian culture. I think I am far more jealous of her with other women than with guys, but I hope I don't have to find that out.
"No- I- You don't have to worry with that- I'm not-" Why is it so hard to explain? It's so simple. Did I mess up? She licks her lips for comfort as Anna waits patiently. "I mean you don't have to do anything for me. I am fine."
Anna smiles, giving Elsa a playful light slap on a thigh, making the blonde jump startled. Where did this come from?
"I am being selfish," she confesses softly. "It's something I've been wanting to do with you for quite a long time now."
Wha- a- a long time? She has been wanting to- since when? Elsa blushes profusely. It didn't occur to her that Anna could be picturing this when she thought about Elsa.
"Is it alright?"
Elsa gulps. She really… she really wants to… it is hard to feel jealous when Anna says something like that. I am being stupid… it is not about that. Why am I so stupid? I love her. I really really love her and she wants me.
Elsa nods somewhat bashful, unsure of what to do.
Anna grins and licks her lips, tugging Elsa's pants down more assertively now.
Elsa gulps again and whimpers pitifully as she helps Anna take off her pants and watched stunned as Anna makes quick work of her panties, shoes, and socks.
Hawly frigging- she's really a force of nature- there's nothing I can do to slow her down- how is she so ready to do it? She just came! "A-are you sure? Aren't u tired?"
"Oh, I am very sure." Anna purrs as her hands make easy work of Elsa's shirt, finishing to pull it off from Elsa's head. She covers her own chest, which is already covered by her bra. Why are you covering your own chest! I don't know it just makes sense! No, no, it doesn't! You should hide your lower parts!
Instinctively Elsa closes her legs. The idea of staring is still too much… and she knows Anna is. Besides she's thinking Anna would maybe lay her on the couch or sit on her lap again. That would be less awkward but Anna stays right where she is, still kneeling on the floor and lightly kissing Elsa's thighs.
Their eyes meet and Elsa is sure she looks like a doe caught in headlights with the way her heart is hammering inside her chest, imagining very vividly what Anna is planning.
Anna seems to feel Elsa's tension because she smiles and lifts herself, resting her stomach on Elsa's knees and drawing lazy circles on Elsa's ribs.
Elsa exhales, relaxing under Anna's attention and they kiss again, more softly and briefly than before.
"You keep asking me if I am okay with this, but I think you're the one that is unsure."
"I- I want it. It's just hard to imagine you doing anything to me. I always saw you as straight. Doing things for you is easier."
"Then just imagine this as doing something for me. You will make me very, very happy."
Elsa nods dumbly. That's easy enough to do. I can do that. Yeah, just focus on that, I can do that. Anna kisses her one last time before she pulls away. She kneels again, this time further away from the couch and gently lifts one of Elsa's feet. Her lips kiss the heel softly. Then the sole, wrapping her mouth around Elsa's toes.
Elsa bites her own hand; her mind betraying her. Attempting to imagine things she doesn't want to imagine.
Anna is so… so… She's so beautiful. She looks like a content cat. There's a warmth in her eyes as her lips and tongue explore Elsa's foot.
Anna doesn't linger there. Her kisses trail the path of Elsa's calf, licking the underside of Elsa's knee.
By the time Anna is on her thighs again Elsa doesn't know if she's any more relaxed than before because her libido skyrocketed to the moon. She's so wet it's uncomfortable and Anna is so- so close.
Oh, God.
Elsa gasps when Anna pulls her closer to the edge of the couch. She buries her face on Elsa's belly as her fingers lightly explore Elsa's slit. The blonde trembles, the feeling travelling all the way up and down her body.
She's- she's… It is even harder to accept it is Anna lightly kissing her and testing her sex than it was to internalize what they just did. Going along with Anna's little requests and games is easy. Giving in to Anna is easy. Anna never asked anything she truly wasn't willing to give and as odd as it is to believe, she can accept a no effortlessly.
Anna's words echo inside her head. Focus on giving Anna what she wants. It's not hard. Not hard to see herself as giving joy to her childhood friend. It's not hard to see herself giving the woman she loves something like this.
The hard part is believing Anna wants me.
Elsa bucks and kicks the air when Anna's lips reach her sex. She feels her thighs being raised and spread, eventually giving up any resistance. Her body feels like goo and her hands move on their own to grip at Anna's smooth firey hair.
For how long did Elsa want this? When was the last time she'd even dare entertain the thought of Anna maybe wanting her? She didn't dare to, not even on her loneliest nights.
...But Anna seems to have had that in her mind for quite some time.
It intensifies Elsa's pleasure to imagine Anna thinking about her like this on her lonely nights and her hands… Shit.
Elsa is so needy any more foreplay would probably make her combust. Her hips buck on their own, her eyes focusing on the sight in front of her. Anna looks like a cat with a bowl of milk.
It's so enticing Elsa feels herself gush suddenly. She blushes, ashamed, hiding her face. Anna's giggle reaches her ears, obviously noticing what happened, being so close to the source.
"I am glad you're amused." Elsa knows there's nothing she can do regain her dignity, but she tries anyway.
Anna rubs one of her thighs, enticing Elsa to look at her. "I love that about you. I always wanted to see it, doesn't matter how hard it is for you to believe."
Elsa feels her throat going dry, her heart tight. I want to cry.
"Don't cry my queen." Anna kisses Elsa's belly, gracefully playing her fingers against her slit. "Unless you want to cry out in pleasure. That's fine by me."
You stinker. Elsa wants to laugh. She can't keep a smile away from her face when Anna is around.
The redhead purrs as her mouth travels up, catching one of Elsa's nipples between her teeth. She toys with it more than anything else. Elsa squirms out of despair as her hand carries on in her exploration of Elsa's sex, tantalizingly menacing the intention to explore her depths.
Fuck! I won't last long if she keeps that up!
"Annnnaaaaaa." Elsa whines, wanting and not wanting this to end. Part of her wishes it could last forever, that she never had to come.
"Sorry…" Anna replies unapologetic, letting go of Elsa's chest and kissing her slit again, enhancing the sloshing wet sounds her fingers make on purpose. "But I want to see if I can make you squirt. Ten bucks says I can."
Damn you! Elsa feels terribly horny at the same time she wants to laugh. It's such a terrible dichotomy, but somehow it works for them. It works very well for them; that makes Elsa's heart swell with joy. Anna plays Elsa like a fiddle, bringing her in and out of the final edge, making Elsa lose herself in the process, between pants and moans as her nails sink into Anna's scalp.
Anna doesn't seem to want Elsa to last long however. Finally tentatively driving two fingers inside her, her tongue done with teasing Elsa and choosing to close her lips around Elsa's clit in a merciless suck.
"Fuck!" It barely takes much for Elsa to come after that as pent up as she is after all that teasing. Her body feels melts further into liquid, perspiration all over her skin. Her chest heaves with the effort of breathing. Anna's playing doesn't relent however. The continued toying sends aftershocks all over Elsa.
Elsa only notices Anna pull out of her. She watches keenly as the redhead licks herself and her fingers, straddling Elsa's lap again. The sight and contact makes Elsa whimper. Anna's pussy is just… right there, making its presence impossible to ignore; its warmth and moisture pressed on Elsa's bare thighs.
Elsa doesn't feel like moving, it's… comforting instead. Just sitting here feeling Anna, Anna and nothing else. It feels right.
Anna caresses Elsa softly, her breath ghosting over Elsa's skin while Elsa trails lazy circles over Anna's hips.
"I wish this moment would last forever." Elsa confesses.
Anna nuzzles Elsa, lightly biting her earlobe. "We have forever… Or all of tomorrow."
Christmas day. Elsa frowns. Is she… really really serious about this? Should I dare to hope?
She feels dread and excitement tingling in her palms. Elsa wants to ask; she wants desperately to speak with Anna. To sort things out but she's afraid of breaking the spell. It feels like a Christmas dream.
Should I dare to hope?
Should I dare to accept that my dream became reality, that it isn't a foolish wish left in the past?
Elsa's fingers play with Anna's smooth hair as Anna nuzzles against Elsa's chest. Adjusting herself like a cat curling itself ready to sleep…
Looking at Anna after all they confessed to each other… I do dare to hope.
It doesn't matter what happens from now on, not really. Not right now. What matters is that neither the past nor the future can trouble her when her love is sleeping on her arms. And will probably make me wake up with all sorts of cramps.
They have all Christmas for the two of them to sort out anything they have to. To figure out what they want to do from now on. What matters is that, thanks to some Christmas miracle Anna wants her.
... and I am home again. It is warm here.