If you're a toxic fan then this is not for you, there will be no SAKURA BASHING here in fact I like- no love Sakura so if you hate her and still want to read the fic then it's better to keep your mouth shut than leave hateful comments towards my best girl.
Team 7 Meets Karen
By: Ari-chan
It was a clear day in Konoha. Shinobi's taking missions and civilians doing their business.
Team 7 is assigned to escort a merchant from Kiri to Konoha.
Mission rank: C-rank
Duration: 3-4 days
Assigned to:
Hatake Kakashi (Jounin)
Uzumaki Naruto (Genin)
Haruno Sakura (Genin)
Uchiha Sasuke (Genin)
Client:
Natsumi Hana (Merchant) (Konoha citizen)
Signatures:
Hatake Kakashi: HKashi
Uzumaki Naruto: #$%@%#*£#;
Haruno Sakura: Sakura H.
Uchiha Sasuke: Sasuke U.
The Jounin puts the Mission scroll into his backpack and goes out of his apartment to meet his team.
While he was walking a black cat is crossing the street so he decided to go to a different direction but then he happen to pass by a pregnant woman who is giving birth in the middle of the street with no help offered so he decided to bring her to the hospital, after his journey to the hospital he saw an old woman carrying boxes so he decided to help her while helping her ducks from the lake is forming a line and walking across the street together with turtles and a lion- wait what?
After four hours he met up with his teammates and try to reason with them for being late but of course was accused of being a liar.
"A lion seriously?" His pink haired student who he happens to have a pedo crush on spoke.
(Kinda ship Kakasaku but SASUSAKU all the way)
"Will your excuses ever gonna be normal dattebayo" the blond spoke.
"Hn" was all his emo student said.
After a day and a half they finally arrived at Kiri, there in the gate they saw a blond woman with a weird hairstyle and big sunglasses, she wore a white spaghetti strap shirt and bell-bottom pants together with high heels a scarf, and big round earrings, she has about four big luggage and a purse.
"Her style is... unusual..." Sakura said looking at her from a distance.
"Pink hair" Sasuke mumbles hiding his teasing smirk.
"OI! DON'T BE. MEAN TO SAKURA-CHAN TEME!" Naruto scolded.
"NARUTO! STOP THAT!" Sakura scolds back.
As soon as they reached the gate the woman looked at them weirdly and made a disgusted face.
"You must be Natsumi Hana we are told that you will be waiting for us in the gate" Kakashi said smiling.
"Um, so you and your kids are going to escort me?" She said in disgust. "How old are are you? You don't look like someone who'll get a woman pregnant... in some words, you look... too young"
"WE AREN'T HIS CHILDREN DATTEBAYO!" Naruto shouts.
"AND YOU HOW OLD ARE YOU THREE!?" She scolds.
"We're thirteen- well I'm thirteen their twelve ma'am" Sakura said in her very nice tone that hides the venom in them.
"Well girly I have nothing to say to you but look at you in disgusted," She said looking weirdly at her hair.
"Excuse me wha-"
"YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO SAKURA-CHAN ABOUT THAT!" Naruto shouts.
"Look here kid she dyed her hair which means she is DISRESPECTING THE HUMAN NATURE! AND YOU! ARE THOSE TATTOOS!"
"THESE ARE REAL! DATTEBAYO!"
"Maa, why don't we start on moving so we will arrive in Konoha earlier," Kakashi said breaking their fight.
"AND YOU! YOU SHOULD'VE PICKED SOMEONE MORE COMPATIBLE RATHER THAN THIS THREE KIDS! HONESTLY YOU DON'T ACT LIKE AN ADULT!"
"WE'RE NOT KIDS DATTEBYO!"
"I'm sorry ma'am but this are my students and I promise you they are more compatible than other normal shinobis," Kakashi said scratching the back of his head.
Sasuke who possesses the Sharingan and the strongest rookie of the year.
Naruto who has the fox sealed in them.
Sakura who can deceive you by those innocent looks and is a little creepy because she talks to her self sometimes like... Someone is with her that we can't see I think she calls her... Inner?
Yep definitely not like the others.
"Hmph fine," Hana said as she walks leaving her luggage for them to carry except for her purse.
Sakura took the smallest luggage, Kakashi took the biggest one Naruto and Sasuke took the paired luggage.
In the middle of their journey, the three boys keep on glancing at their pinkette noticing she has been too quiet.
"I can feel chakra," Sasuke said in a sudden halt.
"Chakras" Kakashi corrected.
Suddenly they are ambushed by a... pink-haired man who seems to carried by a flying blue cat, a naked man, a blond girl that has the biggest cleavage, a redhead with armor, a kid with purple-ish hair, and a flying white cat who seems to be sassy about everything.
(If you know them then you're awesome)
"ROAR OF THE FIRE DRAGON!"
"HEAVENS WHEEL!"
"ICE MAKE HAMMER!"
"I OPEN GATE OF THY VIRGIN!"
"M-minasan we-we should just ask them" the girl with purple-ish hair said but is ignored.
Sasuke activated his Sharingan and performed seals.
"KATON: GOUKAKYUU NO JUTSU!"
"HEY THAT'S MY STYLE! YOU COPYCAT!" The pink haired man is even more angrier.
"C-cleavage" Kakashi stutters as he looked at the blonde's... breast.
"Lucy-sama's breast is only for Natsu-sama" A girl with pink hair and a maid outfit said.
"V-VIRGO!"
"WOAH THAT'S PRETTY COOL DATTEBAYO!"
"Hmm hmmm and this armor allows me to manipulate men"
"WOAH!"
"PINK HAIR, GREEN EYES, TEMPER, AND CUTENESS YOU MUST BE A DRAGNEEL"
"I'M NOT CUTE! AND MY HAIR IS NOT PINK! IT'S SALMON!" A shout from a distance can be heard
"SHANNAROO CAN'T YOU WHERE SOMETHING!"
"Huh. What are you talking about"
Suddenly Sakura's eyes were covered with pair of hands.
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOUR UNDERWEAR! DATTEBAYO!" Another voice said.
"I will not let my student see... that"
"GREEEYYYY!"
"HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!"
"MORE PINK HAIRS! AND A PURPLE HAIR TO!" Hana shouted as she fainted.
After their weird encounter the three of them sighs as they stopped for tonight.
"That's it? No hotels? Motels? Not even tents?"
"This is how things work Hana-chan" Kakashi stated.
"So tell me..." She said as they sit around the fire.
"WhY dO yOu HaVe TaToOs On YoUr FaCe?"
"WhY Is YoUr HaIr PiNk?"
"ArE tHoSe CoNtAcTs?"
"WhO gIve YoU PeRmIsSiOn To WeAr A mAsK?"
"WHAT THE HELL! THIS ARE REAL WHISKERS DATTEBAYO!"
"MY HAIR IS NATURAL! SHANNARO!"
"hn"
"Hmmm?"
They spent the night trying to reason with the lady.
"I still don't believe you, you could've used makeup on that eyebrows"
"WHAT!? FOR 58TH TIME WOMAN THIS ARE NATURAL!"
"Show me your genitals then so I'll believe you"
"HEY!"
"Shut up brat you can't talk to me until you wash your tattoos"
"TATTOOS!?"
"Don't try to imitate Post Malone kid"
"Post watermelon? Who's that ttebayo"
"Hmph"
"OIII!"
And the fight began... Again.
"Yo kid with the contacts"
"What?"
"What's wrong with your eyesight?"
"Nothing"
"Then why are you wearing contacts?"
"Hn"
"Ma'am those are not contacts, those are Sharingans" Kakashi interrupted.
"What's Sharing Guns?"
"Sharingans" he corrects.
"Don't correct me young man I'm the adult here while you must've gotten a young girl pregnant now tell me what's a sharing guns? Is it like you share a gun using your eyes?"
"Where did you even get that?"
"ANSWER THE QUESTION!"
"Konoha is just up ahead"
"Konoha? That sounds like a place form that TV show"
"A tv show?" The pinkette asked.
"Ah yes, It's called Uzumagay Maruthoe and he is an idiot kid with a dog trapped inside him and he wants to be the Highkage of Weedsgakure,
they are spies and he has three teammates one is a girl with blue hair and yellow eyes her name is Hoeruno Chakura,
a boy with white hair and superpowers from his eyes, his name is Uchihoe Sasugay
and their teacher who has black hair and pink eyes, the name is Hoetake Bakashi who secretly reads the book Barney and friends,
One-night Sasugay left Weedsgakure to seek happiness so he followed Oreopedomaru because he wants more happiness
Maruthoe trained with the Barney and friends author named Bitchraya and Chakura trained with Tslutnade,
Sasugay wants to kill his brother Weasle, but he can't kill him because apparently Weasle has and already settled with Kishami and works for the organization name Akatsugays,
they are known for the most gayest people in the world,
one member name Ibot declared the tenth spy wars, kinda like Lazer tag but more serious,
then Sasugay realized that his happiness was always in Weedsgakure so he fought with them together with the five Highkages,
but apparently the first Highkage has having an affair with the strongest villain named Madahoe.
It was a lot of drama but was resulted by the happy ending,
Uchihoe Sasugay, Uzumagay Maruthoe, and Hoeruno Chakura settled together and had a kid name UchiUzuRuno Borada"
.
.
.
"That was beautiful... is there more?" Naruto asked sniffing.
"Oh yes there is a sequel,
Apparently their daughter Borada is supper op and Chakura was once again pregnant,
But apparently there is this girl named Hyuugay Bitchnata together with her cousin Gayji,
Bitchnata loved Maruthoe since like forever and Gayji hates Maruthoe,
Then there's this guy Stone Pusslee, he likes Chakura too,
Pusslee and Bitchnata teamed up to separate them apart,
But theres this God named Masashoe Kishitmothoe and he decided to kill Gayji,
When Gay died ninenine went bersek and joined Akatsugay,
The members of Akatsugay are Sasordick, dickdara, Hoedan, Hoenan, Peindick, Zetshoe, Kakuzhoe, Ibot, Weasle and Kishame,
And that's when the three brats siblings arrived,
Sabakhoe no Gaarhoe, Kankurhoe and Temabitch"
"A-and what happened?" Sakura asked.
"I don't know yet apparently Kissanime got banned so I can't watch anymore"
As they arrived in the gates of Konoha Natsume spoke to the guards.
"I want to speak to your manager, I want to know why you let kids dye their hair, put tattoos on their faces and wear contacts if not needed"
"Ma'am we only have a hokage hear"
"THEN I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR HOEKAGE!"
"U-Uh o-okay"
"May I help you Natsume-san?" The third spoke.
"YOU LOOK 80!"
"Excuse me?"
"LISTENT HERE OLD MAN I THINK TOU DON'T RESPECT THE HUMAN NATURES BY MAKING KIDS DO THIS!" She scolds as she gestures her hand to the three.
"AND THIS GUY GOT A WOMAN PREGNANT-"
"Ma'am I didn't-"
"SHUT UP PEDOPHILE I'M TALKING! AND PUT THAT MASK AWAY IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S BEEN A VIRUS THAT KILLS PEOPLE IF THEY DON'T WEAR A MASK!"
"Natsume-san please calm down we are like thia because of one person"
"AND WHO IS THE BITCH!? HUH"
"The strongest Shinobi, he has the ability to kill a character with a pencil or paper... his name is...
Masashi Kishimoto"
Part 2?
I apologize for spelling mistakes due to the fact I typed faster and never checked.