Author's note: I haven't done this in a while and I have no idea where I'm taking it all I know is that quarantine is not much fun and I figured I'd test my creative writing skills again. Please leave a comment, I have no idea if people still read on here. Off to it. Enjoy!
"I fucking hate doing this" Alex spoke into her earphones while putting back a pack of mushrooms to their place on the shelves.
"Ah, Vausey, you do know you don't have to cook for Sylvie to get her into your bed, right?" the voice of Nicky spoke on the other end of the line, making Alex chuckle and roll her eyes simultaneously.
"Very funny, Nicky. It just that… I don't know." Alex let out a loud sigh, which made Nicky focus more and clear her throat.
"Hey, Vause - what's up?"
"It's just that… we used to date, which was… not great, not terrible. But it wasn't going anywhere. And then it turned into an easy sex thing, which worked cause, ya know, no strings attached."
She picked up a pack of nicely marinated chicken, figuring a quick fry would be enough. Some mashed potatoes on the side and she'd be done quickly. In more ways than one.
That final thought made her laugh but she refrained from making it loud so it doesn't get Nicky's dirty mind into a whole different trajectory of thinking, completely derailing the convo they're having.
"Anyway" she continued on the phone "The last few times I went over to hers she was cooking me dinner and stuff and now I feel like I need to do the same cause she's coming over. And I'm dreading it."
"You're falling into the oldest lesbian trap there is. I don't even know if it's a lesbian trap or a trap in general."
This got Alex listening, nodding her head as if Nicky would see it to go on and explain what she means. After a few seconds of silence, she does.
"She's basically luring you back into a relationship. She knows your job is stressful and you are a tired, old lady most of the time. She also knows when that happens you don't exactly go out and meet new people, which makes you an easy target because she also knows the crucial thing about you."
Nicky stops there and Alex keeps waiting for her to say what it is, all the while racking her brain for the answer to this but not getting to it.
"Are you gonna say what it is or we're gonna play a guessing game, cause I swear to God, I'm not in the mood-"
"Sex. You need sex." Nicky interrupts "Stressful job, limited social life makes you cranky and your favourite stress relief hobby is sex."
Alex lets out a loud laugh at this, but in the back of her mind she knows Nicky is practically right about it. Maybe it is time to find a different way to blow off some steam.
"You make it sound so horrible, yet so true"
"Just one of my many charms" Nicky quips back with a laugh. "Listen, we both know Sylvie is not exactly the most normal girlfriend you ever had, nor is she the greatest sex you've ever had so… I really don't know what you're doing"
Alex sighs at this, cause she knows Nicky is right. "I know. I'll do this tonight cause it would feel really awkward to cancel on her but… I think I definitely need to find a different way to relax. And I'm not obsessed with sex, okay?"
At that point, a cart hits into hers and the blond woman pushing it looks up to see Alex standing there looking at her.
"Sorry, didn't see you there." She says with a bit of nervousness in her voice and turns her attention back to the kid in her cart.
Alex doesn't even manage to comment and say it doesn't matter before the woman is already gone. She's seen her before - sometimes alone and sometimes with the same kid by her side. She definitely found her pretty but didn't dwell on it much and turned back to her conversation with Nicky.
"Sorry, Nick, crowded store. Anyway, yeah, I think I'll get this figured out very soon. When do I see you?"
"When you're not banging Sylvie on your rare night off. How's Sunday? I'm busy with Morello tomorrow."
"Sunday's good. Let's chat in the morning and maybe grab some lunch or something if you're not that pussy whipped."
"Fuck off, Stretch. At least I'm not playing girlfriend with someone I don't even like. Talk to you on Sunday!"
Before Alex even gets a chance to respond the line goes dead. She looks around and sees the blond woman who hit her cart before, trying to control the kid with her from picking up every single chocolate he sees while she fills the cart with vegetables and quinoa.
It makes Alex laugh, that someone is trying to feed a kid vegetables, but she turns around and heads to the cashier to pay for her stuff and head back home.
The evening with Sylvie turns out to be exactly what she was afraid of - extremely boring. They have dinner and discussed random things about how their week was and when they're done with food, Alex pours them another glass of wine and they move over to the living room.
"So yeah, I got pretty pissed off with him and called him a jackass, and he hasn't spoken to me since."
Alex snaps to attention as she hears silence and figures she hasn't really been paying attention to whatever Sylvie was saying so she just nods along and murmurs a "Yeah" as she places her glass on the table and stretches her legs across an ottoman, resting her head backwards on the sofa and closing her eyes, tiredness seeping into her body.
"So, I was thinking… you wanna go to the MET tomorrow? They're setting up the post-gala exhibition, figured it would be a good thing we could check out."
It's then that Alex realises that Nicky was 100% right - Sylvie is doing all of this to get back together with Alex. The year they spent together she rarely ever wanted to go to museums, and Alex usually ventured those on her own or with some of her friends, but not once with Sylvie.
It annoys her, but makes her sad at the same time that Sylvie hasn't really seen their purely benefits focused relationship as such. Alex puts her legs down and turns her body towards Sylvie, knowing the conversation to follow will not be a pleasant one.
"Listen, Syl, I think we should stop seeing each other."
The surprise on Sylvie's face is obvious, even tho she does her best to try to hide it from Alex.
"What do you mean, we're not seeing each other anyway. We're just having fun."
"Yeah, whatever you wanna call it. I think it's best if we go our separate ways completely, this is not exactly working out. I'm sorry but, I feel like we have different expectations and with my work and everything… I just need to be alone."
"We are not in a relationship, Alex! If this is because of the MET for tomorrow, forget about it, I just-" Sylvie is almost yelling at this point, and she stands up to make an even bigger point out of it. "I just, I don't get it. We were enjoying dinner and having a great chat and I don't understand where this is coming from."
Alex stands up as well at this point and just shrugs her shoulders, not willing to have an argument with someone who's not even her girlfriend to begin with.
"I'm tired and I need more time for myself and I don't want to drag you on. I'm sorry but it's over." Her voice is quiet, and it hits her that she isn't even interested in how all of this makes Sylvie feel. It makes her feel cruel for a second, but then she shakes it off as she knows she never promised anything to Sylvie, especially not after their official break up.
Sylvia gives her a long look, shakes her head while picking up her stuff and gets to the door, saying a frustrating "goodbye" while slamming the door behind her.
Flopping on the sofa, Alex grabs her phone and scrolls through her Instagram feed aimlessly, trying to distract herself from what just transpired. She pours another glass of wine and puts her phone down, deciding that a book would be a better choice.
She knows she hasn't been the kindest to Sylvie here, but she really needs to focus on herself and get her life in order. She hasn't visited her mom in months, she's worked crazy hours since being promoted and she needs some time to herself.
She grabs her phone again, checking out the gyms in her neighbourhood realising she really needs to get herself in shape, let some steam out. She signs up for a boxing course for the next day, some 20 minutes away from her flat, on Park Slope's 5th.
After finishing her wine and just dumps the dishes in the sink, figuring that getting to bed early would probably do her good and she can deal with the rest of the world tomorrow.
She spends her morning having coffee, lazily scrolling through the most recent news and cleaning up the mess she left the night before. She shoots Nicky a quick text about seeing her at Red's at 2pm the next day, and receives a reply of a simple thumbs up. It makes her wonder how short communication has become these days, which is ironic that we have an infinite number of tools to use to communicate with each other.
Happy to have the day to herself, she props herself on her fire escape with a book in hand and enjoys the sunshine that's warming up her skin. Lighting a cigarette and exhaling slowly, she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, realising that this is what she's been missing lately - more self reflection, a slow day, a book.
About two hours later she realises it's time to head to her boxing class, so she puts everything down and gets ready to head to the gym. She enters and gives the receptionist her name, and as a first timer gets some forms to fill before being shown where the dressing rooms are and informed that her trainer, Janae will be with her shortly.
"Alex, right?" A tall black lady approaches her and shakes her hand as Alex nods to her name. "I'm Janae and I'll be guiding the class today. Have you done boxing before?"
"Hi Janae, nice to meet you. Yes, I have a little bit a few years ago but have gotten a bit lazy lately so I'm excited to get back into it."
"That's good to hear. To give you a bit of a background - this place is female owned and there's a few different trainers - so don't be surprised if some other time you come by there's someone else guiding the group. There's also kick boxing if you wanna give that a shot, which I actually prefer personally. I've been working here for the last few years, was a runner before but I now do different sorts of trainings for people. But anyway - so you're all set and I don't need to guide you through the basics?"
"I'm all good with that, thanks."
"Alright, if anything pops up during the class let me know and also if you're interested in kick boxing or whatever else - I'll be here after the class as well."
Alex smiles and nods - she already likes the atmosphere of this places and thinks she might make this a regular thing.
Janae grabs a towel off the racks and motions towards one of the rooms. "Let's go!" And they both walk into the room where some people are already getting ready for the class.
An hour later she's drenched in sweat and desperate to get a shower, which she does at the gym so that she can enjoy the nice weather and walk around for a bit.
As she is getting ready to walk out of the gym she sees Janae chatting with the receptionist, Tasha is her name if she remembers right, and as soon as she sees her Janae gestures to Tasha to wait and she walks up to Alex.
"Hey, just wanted to quickly ask you how was it?"
Alex smiles "Exhausting but great - it was exactly what I needed. I'll definitely be back and might even take you up on that kickboxing class that you mentioned."
Janae smiles, it's evident on her face that even though she tries to maintain a strong presence, she enjoys the praise and likes being around people.
"That's great to hear, Alex. You can sign up with Taystee here to get a membership - it makes it a lot easier to get a spot in the class and you'll see all of our other classes too. We sometimes rent the space out to other teachers to do their thing, and it'd keep you updated about it - yoga or stuff like that."
She gestures towards Tasha, who Alex now assumes is nicknamed Taystee and Alex nods her head and says she'd love to.
After giving her details to Tasha and signing up for a membership, with Tasha telling her that Janae will get her 'white ass in shape in no time, she just needs to come back regularly" she figures this was definitely a good idea.
Walking out, she grabs a cup of coffee on the go and decides to go for a stroll. It's a warm April day and the sun is shinning but it's not overwhelmingly hot - she loves these kind of spring days. Spending the day outside brings her calm that she hasn't felt in a while.
Ever since she moved into Gowanus some months ago from the bustle of Lower East Side, she hasn't really explored the neighbourhood much and she figures it's a good time to do that. She starts getting curious about all sorts of things - bookstores, best coffee places, date night restaurants, cocktail bars and keeps paying attention to the world around her.
And it's there that she sees her again - at Washington park, near the Old Stone House, alone on a bench with her nose in a book sits the same blond lady from her Whole Foods.
Alex can't explain to herself why, but she is the only person whose face she really remembers from all these random people she sees around. She can't pinpoint if it's just her beauty or something else about her that makes Alex wonder who this person is.
She watches her for a few minutes, careful to keep enough distance to not appear as a freak. Occasionally, the blond would move her head up towards the sun and close her eyes, seemingly taking deep breaths and enjoying the warmth of it on her skin.
A thought about approaching the woman and saying hi to her crosses Alex's mind but she shakes her head to it, realising that it would feel stalker-ish and creepy, like that guy from You. She laughs at herself for even having these thought and somehow wills her legs to turn around and walk back towards her place.
"Well, well, well, look who it is." Is the words she hears as soon as she opens the doors to Red's. The unmistakable voice of the Russian greats her and she sees Red walking around the bar to get closer and give her a hug.
"You don't really deserve it, but I did miss you." Red tells her around a strong squeeze. "Tell me, how's that strange place you moved to treating you?"
As they break apart Alex laughs "I moved to Brooklyn, not to Jersey! I missed you too, Red. And your unparalleled cooking."
"That's what I like to hear!"
Red gestures her to one of the empty booths towards the back and joins her at the table.
"But tell me - have you been doing good?"
"Yeah, things are good. Just busy and stressful."
"Listen, devushka, no matter what or how crowded it is here - there will always be a place for you here to get proper food. Good food is good health, remember that." Red tells her with a stern eye Alex has come to recognise as her way of showing how much she cares.
She squeezes Red's hand and nods, showing her appreciation as she feels a hand hit her back strongly.
"What's the matter here, I'm late for a whole of 10 minutes and it looks like a god damn soap opera has been playing out?" Nicky's loud voice booms through the room.
"Ah, Nicky, always so loud and obnoxious." Red replies as she stands up and greets Nicky with a slap on the back of her head. "I haven't seen you in a while either, so at least you should show some respect."
"Love you too, ma'!" Nicky replies loudly, as Red has already turned her back and walked away. As Nicky takes a seat across from Alex, Alex finally manages to speak up.
"You really need to come by more often, or she will one day murder you and there won't be anything I can do to stop her."
Nicky waves her off "She's always been like this, I got used to it by now. Give her 15 minutes and she'll love me again. Russian tough love, that's what I keep calling it."
Alex smiles at that, the sense of familiarity feels pleasant and very welcome.
"It's good to see you, Nick. How've you been?"
"Good. Lots of Morello time. Which basically means barely getting out of bed. I swear to you, Vause, that girl can keep going on and on and on and-"
Alex places her hand, palm up, in front of Nicky's face and almost yells a loud "STOP!"
Nicky laughs at her but Alex just goes on "I seriously don't want to hear about it."
"Yeah yeah, you're just jealous. How was your night with Sylvia, anyway?"
"Ugh. I told her that we shouldn't see each other and that she should leave."
Nicky's face shows an obvious surprise.
"Is there someone else keeping your bed warm?"
Alex gives her a look that could kill. "No, there is no one else. But you were right, we were having dinner and she rather casually brought up going to a museum together the next day and I just realised I have to end it before it gets complicated."
"Say that again."
Alex furrows her brows, utterly confused by this request "Before it gets complicated?"
"No, the other thing." The seriousness in Nicky's voice takes her by surprise and she's completely not sure what her friend referring to.
"What other thing?"
"That I was right!" Nicky exclaims with a loud laugh and makes Alex laugh as well while playfully rolling her eyes at Nicky's antics.
"Fine, you were right. Totally, completely, 100% right. Happy now?"
"That's my girl. Thank you! Now, let's order some food, I'm starving."
After meeting Nicky for lunch Alex makes a stop at Whole Foods to pick up food before going home, assuming that her work will keep her busy enough that she won't be able to do so during the week.
She knows she barely does any cooking at home, but she's decisive in following Red's advice that good food brings good health and after her heavy work out yesterday she wants to get back to healthier habits in life.
She is looking through all the different quinoa packages, wondering what the difference is and trying to read the labels: white quinoa, red quinoa, black quinoa, quinoa mix. She's already hating herself for making the decision to be healthier but would feel weak if she gave up before even doing some shopping.
She pulls out her phone and starts reading about texture and flavour and what they mix best with and decides finally to just grab a pack of mixed quinoa, laughing to herself at the fact it's called rainbow quinoa.
As she puts the pack in her cart, she turns around and is face to face with the blond woman she practically came to associate her supermarkets visits with.
Their eyes meet, not for the first time ever, and the blond just nods her head in acknowledgement, something Alex didn't expect and walks away.
Alex spends the evening wondering if the blond has been noticing her as well or the cart incident from the other day is the only reason she got acknowledged.
Author's note: I'm curious to see if people still read Vauseman stories and if this grabs your attention at all. I don't have clarity on where I'm taking it, but I think we're looking at a few weeks of being home-bound so a few chapters might be coming out of me here. Let me know how you like it and if I should keep it up and I might be throwing another chapter over in the next few days.
Stay safe everyone and stay at home.