Five years later
Christine
My thoughts were jumbled upon Dr. McCoy's announcement that Mr. Spock, the Enterprise's former Vulcan first officer and the man whom I adored, would return tomorrow.
"Formerly adored," I inwardly corrected myself when Leonard informed me at the tail end of my shift. A year ago, I rejoined the crew of the Enterprise as a doctor, and although I wasn't a nurse any more, my friendship with Leonard McCoy was a strong one.
My own parents passed away many years ago, and I only had one brother left in my immediate family. By his own choice, McCoy stepped in as a father figure when I first joined Starfleet. He encouraged me to go to medical school and have StarFleet pay for it when the Enterprise's first five year mission ended. I often found his advice to be caring and on point.
"Christine?"
"Yes, Leonard," I snapped back to my reality. My thoughts dangerously moved to my memories of Spock and I entangled in my bed sheets.
"Yes, Len," I replied, smiling to cover my embarrassment.
"You weren't listening, Christine," he admonished, shaking his pointer finger at me three times with a playful twinkle in his blue eyes.
"Sorry, Doc."
"I don't want you to go gaga over a certain Vulcan first officer who is returning. Not like when you were a nurse," he sternly advised.
"Gaga?"
"Yes, you were head over heels in love with him. Someone who can't return your feelings because he's a green blooded hobgoblin. Trust me, it's his loss not yours, Chris," he grumbled, employing one of his favorite descriptions of Spock.
"I'm a different person than I was five years ago," I protested.
"Why didn't Spock tell me that he was going into kohlinar when we parted? Was I just a one time experience he had before he eliminated his emotions? A fling?"
I knew that wasn't exactly the case either- he and Zarabeth had "relations" I had found out. On an earlier mission, he was stuck in the Ice Age and he reverted back to the ancient carnivorous Vulcans who passionately displayed their emotions.
"Did you love her," I inquired, hoping that the answer was "no". Spock shook his head and instead explained it was an illogical question.
"Why?"
"I do not know the feeling of love as a Vulcan, Christine," he poignantly stated.
I felt my anger, betrayal and frustration bubble up in my body so I took a deep breath. For the past five years I participated in therapy to deal with many of my issues such as low self esteem and Spock's abandonment of me.
"Christine?"
"Yes, I hear you say that you are worried about my reaction to Mr. Spock's reappearance on the Enterprise," I summarized, without a hint of emotion, "but I promise you I have grown up."
"You have, Christine, you have matured into a beautifully self confident woman, and I am pleased to see it," the old country doctor flattered me but admitted," but I'm still concerned about you, kid."
"Don't be," I nonchalantly remarked, "do you need me anymore? I'm pretty hungry."
"Nope, just looking out for you kiddo," Leonard cautioned, touching my shoulder and I gave him my best reassuring smile that I could.
"Thanks, Len."
"You are a liar," I scolded myself as I exited Sick Bay and ventured into the Cafeteria to eat dinner with my friends.
Afterward, I ran some bath water and poured a generous amount of bubble bath liquid in it. We were supposed to conserve water, but I figured that I could take a bath once or twice a year without anyone noticing my water use. I disrobed, and threw my uniform in the hamper in the corner thenI dipped my toe in the water to gauge the temperature.
"Perfect," I declared and lowered myself into the bubble bath. As I washed my body with a loofah and some delightfully smelling soap, I rid my mind of Spock's arrival. Initially, it didn't work. Through our previous connection, occasionally I could hear his voice speak to me while he was practicing kohlinar. I was hoping this wasn't about to become the case. For fifteen minutes, I cleared my mind and enjoyed the soak in the hot water.
"Christine," Spock's deep voice called.
"Oh sh—," I cursed, disregarding the feeling and voice that I heard, "not again."
Rapidly, I withdrew from the bath and dried myself off with a towel. I decided that I needed to meditate so I put on my Starfleet issued cotton blue pj shorts and matching tank top, and went to my meditation mat in my small living room. Shutting my eyes, I sat down on the cream colored mat, crossed legged with my hands on my knees.
The first thing I saw was Spock's face.
Using the techniques I learned, I replaced it with one of my favorite places, the beach in San Diego. It was a struggle but finally I managed it. Consequently, I meditated for an extended time until I became sleepy.
"What will it be like with Spock back," I wondered, then promptly fell asleep.