You didn't have to say my name
Ignite my circuits and start a flame
But you did
~ Honeybee - Steam Powered Giraffe

A/N: Like it says on the label, these short stories are all about the sex between Han and Leia. PWPWF, if you will - Porn Without Plot With Feelings. If that's not your thing, feel free to move on.

These prompts were sent to my fanfic Tumblr (otterandterrierwrites) at the beginning of the year and I've been slowly writing and posting them there. I still have some requests left that will definitely get done, but since I've been working on a long challenge piece and not writing much of anything else, I thought I might start reposting these here.

Incidentally, the first story of this series doesn't have any smut lol. Enjoy!

Prompt: talking about (but not having) sex

Period: pre-ESB

Temptation

Han bolted the door of the small, run-down depot that was to serve as their safehouse while Leia scanned the space, blaster ready in front of her. Once she confirmed they were alone, she sat down on the floor near the door, her back against the wall.

'Made it, all clear,' Han grunted to his comm before dropping next to her. The message was short and concise, but enough for Chewie to know they were ready for pick up.

'So far, so good,' Leia said, bending her knees up and draping her arms over them.

Han gave her a sideways look. 'Don't jinx it.'

'I said so far .'

'Yeah, still. Hopin' it stays good.'

They sat in silence for a moment, surveying the room.

'So, I hear Hobbie and Tarheel were severely lectured for their little video,' Han said at last. He'd been meaning to tease her about it for a couple of days now, but mission preparations had kept them busy. 'You guys are merciless.'

Leia rolled her eyes. 'If you must know, we did more than lecture them. They've been sent out to different bases for a period.'

'Woah.' Han pressed a hand to his chest in mock dismay. 'That's so harsh. If that's how you treat your own, the Empire should be quivering!'

'Oh, stop it!' Leia said, bumping her shoulder hard against him. 'We weren't going to court martial them over a stupid sex tape!'

'I hear Dodonna nearly had a heart attack when he saw it. Doesn't endangerin' the lives of High Command members warrant a court martial?'

Leia narrowed her eyes at Han's mocking smirk. 'You hear so many things. Han Solo, Gossip Central.'

'But why d'ya punish both of them? I'm guessin' it was one of them that leaked it—probably Hobbie, he was braggin' about it before he got caught… which led to him bein' caught, in the end. Doesn't seem fair to punish the other just for havin' a good time.'

'You haven't heard…?' Leia gave him a curious look that soon turned into a smirk of her own. 'So I know something the gossip Han Solo doesn't? Oh, this is precious.'

'What are you talkin' about?'

'They made the tape to leak it . They were both in agreement. Hobbie tried to take the blame so we'd spare Tarheel, but she confessed.'

'You can't be serious.'

Leia laughed. 'I am.'

'Why?'

'They believed it was a service to their comrades, you see. Since nobody thought of bringing a catalogue of porn when we came into exile, they took it upon themselves to provide us with "high quality content",' Leia explained, her words dripping sarcasm. Han snorted.

'And they thought that was high quality? Amateurs.'

'Oh, you have pointers? I'm shocked.'

'Sweetheart, I'm not the kind of guy that gets off at some jigglin' butts and moanin'; 'course I got pointers. Trust me, don't go takin' this tape for educational material.'

Leia's cheeks became very warm and, against her better judgment, she said, 'I don't need any educational material and I certainly wouldn't take pointers from that , but thanks for your concern.'

'Ah-ha, you have opinions too!' He gave her a smug, lopsided smile, teeth flashing.

'Well, yeah, it wasn't very good, but what did you expect?'

'I'm not talkin' about doing a big porn production here. I'm just sayin', if that's how they usually have sex, I wouldn't get into either of their beds.'

Leia let out a loud laugh that she immediately stifled with her hand.

'It was rather… brief,' she said carefully. 'There was very little… um… romancing … for Tarheel to actually be having a—a good time—'

'Sure, a "good time" is what you meant to say,' Han said, doing air quotes and barely holding back laughter.

'—and even for it to have been a—an interesting piece of erotica,' Leia went on bravely, keeping her eyes away from Han. With a shrug, she added, 'But it's not as if most men really care about women having a good time .'

'HEY,' Han said, finger pointed at her. 'Some of us do, sweetheart!'

'Do you, or do you just think you do?' Leia asked in a fake sweet voice, flicking his finger away. He poked his thumb into his chest. When he spoke, his voice was low and dangerous in a way she couldn't pinpoint… almost as if there was a dare implied.

'Oh, I can guarantee you that I do, Your Highnessness. Just give the word,' he said, shoulders slouching slightly and leaning his head just so that his nose was level with hers, less than ten centimeters away, 'if you want to find out for yourself how much I care about it.'

Leia's skin tingled; unwanted visions of Han and her writhing together on the floor of this dingy depot flashed through her mind, painstakingly correcting everything that Hobbie and Tarheel had done wrong.

'You know I'm hard to please, Captain,' she said, matching his tone. 'Are you sure you'd be up to the challenge?'

A buzz from Han's comm startled them both, breaking the charged moment. Before he turned to give his full attention to Chewie's call, his eyes lingered on Leia for a moment, lips curled up in a faint smile, as if he had guessed at the images she had conjured up… or was picturing his own.