A/N: Credit for canon characters and various bits of what little remains in canon belong to Reki Kawahara, the original author of Sword Art Online. Credit for virtually everything else belongs to me, though I've been inspired by a great many things.

Enjoy, and be sure to review!

To thy milk drinkers who've never swung, know this. Even now, in thy weakness can thou use a weapon, amazing I know. Forsooth, whether it's a sword, fist, rock, or thy dignity, what matters is thou reacheth proper velocity. Swing faster, that be the gist!

Some weapons require thou to invest in [Strength], something thou most certainly shirk. Hear ye, a pinch of it usually suffices, unless thou art a total meathead like Strea. Yes, using a [Siege Blade] or [Slaughter Maul] demands great investments in strength, get good.

What's this, thou seeks [Sword Skills]? To use such, thou must possess significant levels in using a specific weapon type. Unlike ordinary swings, these have cooldowns, as they bestow tremendous power. If thou needeth an example, just ask Asuna.

- Godfree, The Beta Tester's Survival Guide, February 11th, 2023

November 7th, 2024 - Floor 54 - Lindarth

Hammering away at a heated [Arming Sword], fingers clenched, biceps swelling as I curled. Sparks flew with each well aimed strike, muting rainfall outside. My toes scrambled, relaxing only by conscious effort. Eyes shot towards nearby windows, their surfaces speckled by droplets.

"You okay?"

"Yes sir." I refocused. "Hope you brought an umbrella, wouldn't want you getting wet."

"I do, thank you."

Our [Music Box] played softly beside me, jazz from a bygone time bursting out like water from a dam. Particles tapped our roof, my feet scraping instinctively.

"Man, your shoulders. Did you lift cement bags every morning?"

A weak laugh escaped my lips.

"No kind sir, the bags were for my quads."

He laughed, infecting me with a nervous chuckle.

"Dude, they're bigger than my head!"

"Thank you. Gonna suck seeing how much I lost when we're out."

"Beats the alternative."

"True." I nodded, striking faster.

Something scratched our walls, my arm locking up as I swerved, checking around a window. Wind, dimly lit skies, puddles. Their reflection brought my feet inching away, skin crawling with a rush of cold.

"Uh, Garr?"

"Oh, I'm-I'm sorry, sir." I rushed back, hammering quickly.

Lost progress repairing for my digression, dammit stop looking.

"I can go to another blacksmith if you need to rest."

"No, I will fulfill my promise." I sweated, my open hand gripping our anvil's bottom.

Trees swayed harder, a distant rumble leaving my knees vying to bend. Biting my tongue, I focused down on task. Our customer's weapon was of great artistic quality steadily returning to a shiny vigor.

"Where'd you get this weapon?" I wiped my brow. "Pretty."

"Lisbeth, of course."

"Ah good." I nodded. "A blacksmith's like an artist, you see. She puts great pride in these."

"I can tell."

A light ring brought his [Arming Sword] to full health, my task completed.

"Alright, sir." I nodded, passing his weapon with both hands, bowing my head. "I've delayed you long enough."

"Thanks!" he gripped. "You're pretty good at this."

"Oh thank you." I ducked, digging under our desk for stuff. "Lisbeth's blacksmith shop, gotta perform with excelle-"

My exclamation ended when I rose, our customer long gone. I didn't even get to ask if he had any friends to advertise. A low, throaty rumble left fingers digging in wood, gaze fixated on our front door. Body stiffened, eyes darting as I forced muscles to relax. Nails slid out, my grip relieved.

"Oh, right." I shook. "Ore."

Retreating to our backroom forge, I quickly examined equipment. Trophies hung above, a crown of red ivory resting nearby. Water splashed outside, leaving me scrambling, checking for any leak. Thankfully, not a single spot of moisture was present.

[You have 57 unread messages]

The ancient furnace glowed, indicating it was ready, our [Tungsten] ingot. Heavy metal was drawn with a large pair of tongs, requiring both arms as it hissed. Retrieved from its trough minutes later, I held it up, letting every drop return to its source. Not a drop left, exhaling as I set it down. Dark silver, this extremely dense metal shined dully around open flames, whose collective effulgence dimmed. Pinched my lip, peeling loose, dried pieces with nails.

Splashing, tapped my boot. There's no water here. Rubbed my arms, still there.

"Hun?" I said. "Ingot's ready!"

"Aye, mind givin' it a shot? Bit busy back here."

"Sure!"

Sales have been a bit slow this week, Assault Team's on break. Raising my mallet, I stopped. Something wasn't right. It was on an anvil, I wasn't tired either. It was only until I looked left towards our forge's window, did my mind click. This's a weapon upgrade job, not creation. Had to inform our customer, prepping a message.

[To Yuuki: Hey Yuuki-

I stopped again, wrong person.

"Wait, why's she not on my friend's list after all this time? God, so busy."

[To Kibaou:-

"Nope."

[To Kirito:-

What was I thinking, I didn't want condescending lectures. I couldn't remember who ordered this, despite it being yesterday's purchase. [Tungsten] was used by US battle tanks for their density. Armor penetration, left me with one clue who ordered this.

[To Asuna: Hey, ingot's ready. Wanna upgrade?]

Waited a few minutes, hoped she wasn't too busy. Wood creaked, my shoulders raised as I looked. A green flash brought my gaze down, raising my thigh dropped hand.

[From Asuna: Huh? What're you talking about, Garr?]

Glancing quickly to our door, I exhaled before replying.

[To: You requested a rapier upgrade, didn't you?]

Another few minutes passed, maybe I messaged the wrong person? Scratching my mallet's handle, I pressed my back against stone foundation. Cold and dry, easing me as my body heated. Rain briefly fell harder, jazz slowing, its singer's voice muffled by our main room's walls. A wet slapping resulted in a twitch, my head jerking, reaching below my belt.

[From: I'm coming over.]

A breath escaped, throwing myself forward as I dusted myself. We had a customer, had to look professional.

"Rika!" I checked my buttons. "Asuna's coming by!"

"Sweet! Will be down soon, me bonnie."

Returning behind our counter, I leaned and forced a smile. Behind glass cabinets rested weapons and armor of masterful craftsmanship, embroidered and plated in metals known and unknown. My dress shirt and light blue colonial jacket fit neatly, sharp. Was gonna be great to see Asuna again, maybe she'll bring Leopon around too. Hell, why not party in here? I wouldn't mind it at all. Why couldn't we have one here, I'd be able to see how everyone's doing.

Our front door jingled, the white and red clad commander stepping only a few feet inside. Closing her umbrella, Asuna's eyes fixated on me, her posture stiff as her back length reddish brown hair fell.

"Morning." I nodded, bowing slightly. "How's the front line?"

"Oh it's going great, Garr." she put hands behind herself, stepping in hesitantly. "Finally made it to floor seventy five, how's commerce?"

"Uneventful. You're gonna need the best gear, may I see your rapier?"

To this, her expression turned pale.

"Uh sure, how about you bring Lisbeth down here first? It's been a while."

"Ah, gotcha!" I splayed a hand, heading upstairs.

Poor Asuna, Floor One really...got to her. There was nothing she could do, no stopping it. Climbing up, I looked towards every corner. Mischievous woman, found a new hiding spot.

"Rika? She's here."

No answer, bedroom was completely empty. Bed wasn't made yet, dammit. Fixing it up, I kept searching.

"Oh wait, she went to get Asuna's favorite snack." I smiled, heading back down.

Asuna waited behind our red wooden counter, playing with her hair. Seeing me, her posture stooped, a strained smile greeted me when I returned.

"Something wrong?" I said. "Godfree told me something's happened."

"Oh I was just curious of a few things." she shrugged, erecting herself.

"Go ahead, she should be back soon." I slid behind the counter, elbows on its surface.

"Thanks." she stepped around. "So."

Her pause brought an awkward silence, her arms crossing.

"Got a date with her planned tomorrow." I smiled. "Big garden, quiet lunch, some time in the sun."

"Aw, that's so sweet of you. I..."

Asuna's gaze veered from me.

"Never mind. How've sales been?"

"Pretty good, got to help repair stuff today."

"Hm, okay. Any new weapons?"

My heart lodged in my throat.

"She's been a bit busy trying to get up to speed on demand." I leaned. "You can expect an uh, three week delay? Going fast as I can here to fill out orders."

"No, no, it's fine." she turned quickly to me, eyes softened. "It's just..."

"What?" I splayed hands limp.

"Have you seen her? I mean, it's usually you-"

"Course! Like I said, she's just busy! She's getting some food for you, God bless her."

Asuna stared at me, lips drooping.

"What?"

Without further hesitation, she bolted out, our door swinging open as she sprinted away.

"I just said she was getting food!" I outstretched a hand.

Was too late, Asuna retreating to a space fogged with moisture. Racing forward, my feet scraped against pool skirting mud. Cold rain hit, a chilling wind digging it in. A green fog had swept over, sickly, congested. Puddles gathered, rising. Reaching over other doorsteps, my face went pale, my hands shaking, mouth drying. Nothing was gonna slow me down, slamming our store's door behind me upon my return.

"Oh God!" I clawed my face.

Water was gonna get inside. My dress shoes, their previously shined leather exterior was left splotched, tainted. Quick in removal, I tossed them both outside, only to cry afterwards.

"Ugh, I forgot I had a water trough!"

Went out again, course with my traditional leather boots. My dress shoes were drowning in algae ridden refuse, poor things. Reaching down, however, something slippery slid against my arms. Smooth, too smooth, rubbery. Gasping, I yanked quicker, jumping away before hurrying inside.

Returning to candle lit spaces, I slammed both doors shut. Clothes of splendor were replaced with layers of brass colored steel, dented and holed, helmet encompassing my entire head.

[Full Plate Equipped!]

Carpets were jammed beneath our front doors' slits, my face sweaty and cold. Something was out there, she had to know.

"Rika! We gotta go!"

Nothing was heard, besides of course my cracking voice.

"Rika?!"

Splashing, grumbling, we had to get out. I opened every store cabinet, taking possession of every item of value, I wasn't going to let anything happen to her creations. My legs slowed, weight increasing, sliding as I introduced mud to what were once pristine wooden floors.

"Ugh, I just cleaned those!" I threw my arms.

Entire suits of armor were stored away, beautifully crafted weapons tucked in my inventory. A squirt had me hauling, moving as quick as I could to our backroom.

[Warning: Weight limit approaching!]

My boots stomped, body pitching every descending step, every ounce of strength used to reclaim. Our forge room was already pooling, a sickly green liquid taking residence, wood absorbing it, staining our masonry. Opening containers left and right, I took her furnace, anvil, rarest metals, eyes swerving for anything valuable.

They set on a framed object, right above her personal chest. It was a poem, something I wrote for her years ago. Even as water rose to my knees, I smiled a little.

"Shit, I wrote her a poem that bad? Getting her a better one when I'm outta this shit."

Breaking it open, I took it before leaving. Dragging myself upstairs, soggy boots squishing with every step. Inches of sludgy fluid reached the ground floor, leaving only our bedroom dry. Desperately searching, she was nowhere to be seen.

"Rika?!"

"I'm outside, hurry hun!"

Dressers were opened, her favorite red dress first on my mind.

[Denied - Weight limit reached]

Cursing and shaking, I let it hang while examining others. A lone [Record Crystal] was left in a nightstand, our world's version of a camera. Had only enough room for that, since it weighed so little. Every pop or crackle had me looking, my head spinning as I checked for anything of irreplaceable value.

My feet slid, an unknown entity or object slamming against our store with a loud bump. Wooden piers cracked, groaning as parts fell away. Entire walls descended, our bed and wardrobe going with it.

"No!" I cried, falling on my knees.

Her favorite dress, gone. Rain pattered, a house divided. A snap of wood left me screaming, throwing stuff, kicking furniture, until our foundation shook again. Looking back, every drop of blood left my head, migrating away from my eyes. A tendril had grown from below the floodwaters, thicker than most trees, its hairs simply miniature extensions of itself. Writhing, psychedelic colors flashed, cells of an alien origin flashing in unison, like soldiers in drill...neural in speed. Staring and frozen, it rose over five stories, bloating out light with its shadow.

Laughter escaped my throat, raising my hands limp as I stumbled away, shaking my head. Turning away, I waved my arms, chuckling to myself as I fled. My legs buckled as I stepped down, our main floor taking in more water.

"How lovely!" I cried, kicking up waves with my boots. "Beautiful day, beautiful dream!"

It wasn't going away. There was nothing I could do to stop it. Nature's callousness drove me out, my weight limitations forcing me to abandon our [Music Box], yanking open both doors. Water rushed in like a battering ram, its only barrier parting as wind howled inside. Such mass threw me back, slamming against a wooden counter, my body shivering as icy claws dug. Jazzy tracks submerged, distorting as it drowned too.

I couldn't form words, my eyes were nearly popping out. Screaming out, I shoved back to my feet, lunging limply forward, liquid bubbling up to my thighs. Stepping out to a clouded sky, thick drops struck my helmet, my heart racing. My legs stiffened, eyes turning back.

It wrapped itself around, yanking down our store with a casual tug, roaring as wood and stone vanished beneath a rising, green abyss. Our store was gone, all of our work, erased. A titanic groan croaked from below, tears bursting out of my eyes as its eldritch frequency rippled through me, ignoring my mortal armor. It all happened so fast, my legs weakened.

All I could do was watch. Turning away, I could only laugh, grinning as I shook, fingers crooked as I marched.

[Marriage], for hopeless losers who wanna feel committed! Can't find anyone interested in marrying you? Don't worry, the NPCs are available. Yes, if you somehow manage to impress one enough, you can get hitched with one. Good luck, you'll need it.

Why get married? Well it comes with some serious bennies, though nothing you couldn't do without. Two rings, one for each, [Vitality] boosting when you're near each other, lovey dovey stuff. You can stalk your spouse once a day via teleportation (unless your partner's smart enough to stick themselves in a boss room!)

Whenever one of either partner completes a quest involving monetary reward, five percent of the total will be added on top. See, you can make money too while being an absolute slave!

Divorcing requires only an IQ above 90 and a ten thousand Cor fee, as breaking the enchantment is a delicate matter to the Church of Cel. Once completed, all items originally possessed by each partner will be returned. If an item was earned during a quest, the completer of the quest receives the item.

I tested everything, there's nothing special.

- Argo, The Beta Tester's Survival Guide, March 4th, 2023

A/N: With that, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Demon Slayer! A review is the best way to let me know whatcha think. A favorite and follow are also highly desirable, as I consider them accomplishments! Hope to hear from you all very soon!

H.P Lovecraft, who's that?