'It's all my fault... I have to tell them it was my fault that Heichou used the injection on me... It wasn't his fault... It is mine alone... It's-'
"Armin you're spacing out again... Are you alright...", Eren suddenly appeared beside the boy, whispering the simple question in his ear. "Yeah Eren I'm totally fine, don't worry.", Armin answered. 'Lie. Why can't I be honest with them... Oh yes! So I'm not a bigger burden than I already am.' Eren looked unconvinced but was interrupted by a Military Police soldier entering the room, saying that the hearing will commence shortly and that they'll be asked inside in mere minutes.
They were sitting in a side room to the big audience room that would be used to interrogate the heck out of them. Armin took the chance and slipped away from Eren to the next window so he could distract himself from what was about to happen.
About 5 days had passed since they arrived back and they couldn't gain more free time since they had to report if Wall Maria was once again theirs or if they failed and lost 199 soldiers on the way. Armin closed his eyes and let the shiver run over him, as he thought back to the events that happened. He was nauseous, thinking about how he ate Berthold, taking his life and powers from him. He asked himself if Bertholds body had vanished when he took his life or if he had actually digested him when transforming back into a human. The door sprang open once again and a different MP soldier came in, announcing that they will be asked inside now. Armin was glad that he pulled him out of his spiralling thoughts before he actually had to vomit.
The small group of remaining scouts walked themselves into the room in a slow pace, most of them white as sheets, still shaken from what happened. Armin was basically a light shade of a sickly green and yellow colour. It was barely noticeable but if anybody had noticed, they probably wouldn't want to embarrass Armin by addressing it and the boy was thankful of that. He didn't want to know what tantrum Eren would throw to get Armin into a cot for some rest and leave the meeting to the others. 'Would Eren even do that? I already got him into so much trouble for making him make Levi give me the injection instead of Erwin...'
Thinking of the man, Armin looked at their Heichou, even paler than most days, gripping his left hand tightly, pressing it to the left side of his chest. He looked miserable, Armin noticed. Normally it was Levi-Heichou to kick them back into functioning right after losing people to the war against the Titans. He was the person, everyone knew, lived without regrets, moving on quickly to be as efficient as possible, making him humanities strongest. Was it also because of him? 'He probably regrets giving me the injection instead of Commander Erwin. How pathetic of me to put myself over humanities triumph against the Titans...'
They entered a room much similar to the court room where Erens trial was held. Instead of a podium with a place to bind prisoners to though, were many rows of wooden tables and chairs, on the opposite a table with the Regiment leaders and in their middle Historia on an elevated throne-like chair. She smiled sadly at the newcomers, sadness and horror in their eyes, as she noticed their small number. "Please take a seat where you want my dear friends. We will commence with the debriefing shortly, if you are ready."
They did as they were asked and picked seats for themselves in the two rows nearest to Historias place of seating. Levi took a seat on the very left, nearest to the next door and Hanji placed themselves in quick motion beside the frail man, probably sensing his distress. 'Did they know something we didn't?' next to them was Mikasa. She and Eren took Armin in their middle, scooting as close to him as physically possible. Floch took his seat right behind Eren in the second row. Beside him Jean and Connie. The group of scouts had left Sasha and Moblit, still severely injured with a doctor at the cottage, waiting for them to get better to write a report with their version of the story. Hanji had nearly freaked out like Eren often did when he had to do something he didn't want to do, when they were told that they couldn't stay with Moblit. They had been stuck to his side the whole time, not even leaving him when the others (minus Levi-Heichou) had gathered at the table in the main room beside the kitchen to eat a little and cope with the events, using some good old fashioned human interaction.
Moblit had woken two days prior too. Not too long at a time though, since he kept passing out from either the pain he was forced to deal with as a bodily reaction but also the pain and sleeping meds Hanji stuffed his face with in the highest doses possible, rather keeping their not so secret crush drugged up to oblivion than having him deal with excruciating pain all the time. On could often hear them cry at his side when changing the dressings on his wounds to apply more cooling cream to the burns his body featured. Hanji still blamed themselves for not taking better care and not paying more attention to their surroundings for it was what Moblit did and therefore enabled him to push Hanji out of harm's way but getting in it himself. Moblit had always looked out for them and they always took it for granted to have his hands that promised safety over their carefree and reckless head. They never once imagined that Moblit might die before them, always seeing friends die but never him and getting used to that.
In the end, they relented and threatened the doctor they have left them with to be her next object of interest she might put in front of her newly captured Titans' face to observe what would happen. They had paled and promised repeatedly that they would give their utmost best to please his patients. The doctor had left that part out but Armin was sure he also said that for his own sake.
Armin tried to focus on the meeting again. "The next point we need to discuss is Commander Erwins death, how it happened and why Levi-Heichou didn't use the injection on him." 'Please take me back inside my head to spiral in dread! Please!' He saw in the corner of his eye how Levi twitched uncomfortably.
"As we already stated, Erwin led the men in an infantry charge to give me a free way to kill the Beast Titan. He was severely injured and Floch, when noticing that the Commander was the only other survivor of the charge, took him back to me where I was about to give the injection to Armin Arlert. We discussed which action was best and ended up with choosing Erwin. I sent them all away to have my peace doing it, Erwin though gained consciousness back in the very moment I was about to insert the needle, ripping his arm away from my grip. Based on what he said and that action, I decided to let him die. Erwin had done enough for humanity and keeping him alive would only torture him more after all the deaths he has to account to. I decided to safe Armin Arlert by giving him the injection which went very well. After that we discussed what we were going to do and after Armin gained his consciousness back and had been debriefed with everything that happened during his time of unconsciousness, we stayed in Shiganshina another five days to ensure safe travel for both us and our still severely injured, Sasha Brauss and Moblit Berner. Then, as you know, we settled in that cottage Erwin had someone built for us to rest a few days before giving our statement that Wall Maria is once again ours, after the many sacrifices that have been made. We will all mourn our fallen comrades, especially Commander Erwin, though it cannot be helped that they are gone and have moved on forever.", Levi explained with an emotionless facial expression and tone, shutting his personal feelings out or at least not letting them shine through within his report.
Many stares fell on Armin who twitched uncomfortable in his seat. Eren suddenly laid a hand comfortingly on top of Armins own hand that had started gripping his thigh unconsciously, effectively making it tense up first but relax the next second. The higher ups seemed to accept this answer though and didn't question any further. "Erwin gave Levi-Heichou the injection, trusting him to make the right decision on when and whom it'll be used on. Therefore, we won't question it. We will mourn for Erwin and give him a proper ceremony in a few days. I also want to speak my condolences to you, Levi-san. It must have been one of the hardest decisions you've ever made which is also a point why I trust you with your decision. You still have to sign the papers though for your inheritance. Erwin set everything in place before his death so you might want to come by later alone... I'm very sorry for you again..." "Thank you but please keep in mind that we have witnesses here that are not supposed to know some... military secrets." "I understand."
After that the hearing went uneventful. No one asked anyone questions except Hanji and Levi. Eren was asked one or two about his Titan hardening and if he knew anything about durability but nothing special. Soon enough, he was led outside by Eren and Mikasa on their way to the cottage to stay there for another two months of leave to gather themselves, mourn and arrive in the present again. The last might be directed at Armin, or at least the boy thought it was. Back in the cottage, everything went as usual. The doctor was kicked out, Levi went inside his room, gripping his left hand to his chest (Armin might ask him at some point if he has chest pain or anything since that could actually be lethal), Connie and Jean started telling Sasha what happened and started pampering her (Armin never really knew if they were just friends, friends with benefits, lovers or dancing around each other), Floch went to stare at some book pages without reading them, Hanji rushed to Moblits side (who was actually conscious and handling the pain pretty well for the first time since he woke up), took his hand and ran their fingers through his hair, Mikasa went to make her two friends and herself some tea and Armin was about to go to the next window to space out again but was held back by Eren, gripping his arm.
"Come on Armin lay down, I know you don't feel well.", Eren said. 'How does he know that?! Oh yes... He went through the same thing. But he didn't have anyone to pamper him and just endured it alone in that cold cell in the dungeon below the court. I could do that too!' "No Eren I'm fine!" "No you aren't so stop resisting because it won't work! Please let me help you, I know what you are dealing with! Please be happy that you don't have to spend your sick time in a cold cell. Let me help you, please!"
Armin sighed and let himself be dragged to the cot near Moblit and Sasha. Eren suddenly picked Armin up bridal style before slowly lowering him on the cot in a sitting position, helping the boy out of his dress clothes for court and into a more comfortable shirt and some soft track pants. Then he took one of his own blankets and wrapped them around the small boy before stacking some pillows against the wall behind the head part of his cot to give Armin the chance to lie down in a sitting position, which he did without arguing. Mikasa passed Eren a warm cup of mint tea, who gave it to Armin, knowing he wouldn't deal with the embarrassment of having to be fed the liquids inside the light blue cup. Armin wasn't surprised anymore that Eren suddenly slipped under the blankets after having changed himself to press Armin against his chest and run his fingers through the blond hair of his friend. Armin was always a little confused about the gesture though. Wasn't cuddling like this reserved for couples? But who was he to question him, Eren always being a little touch seeking as reassurance with his slight BPD tendencies.
He drank the whole cup and started to drift off again, safely tucked to Erens chest with many giant blankets wrapped around him and for the first time since he tried to sacrifice himself for his friends and humanity, he felt absolutely safe and loved.