With one word, his world fell apart. What was once stress-inducing and frantic, but also shiny and bright was now reduced to ash. Gray and colorless ash, gritty to the taste. She was gone. He had always known that they were, in fact, two separate people, but in his mind, he had always framed it as he was the moon who orbited her Earth. Separate but cosmically connected. And now she was gone. His wife was gone. Alex was gone.
He couldn't speak. The air that was needed to form words was caught in the upper reaches of this throat. No sound seemed to be moving through the room. His ears were clogged with silence. Overbearing and resilient silence. It pressed down on him and choked his soul. What was he going to tell Penny? Or Leo? How would they survive this act of betrayal by the universe?
Slowly, his breath returned to him. He was panting, like a dog stuck outside too long in hot weather. His knees ached, holding his weight on the ceramic block floor in the hospital corridor for who knows how long. He felt a pair of hands on his shoulders, grounding him. His eyes lifted and met the gaze of one of his secret service agents. There was confusion there, in their depths. Suddenly, the dam inside his ears lifted and he could hear the sounds in the hallway. No one seemed to understand what had happened. He looked down and saw his broken phone on the floor. No one knew. He suddenly understood.
"Sir, Mr. President, what happened? You took the call, started screaming and then collapsed." The secret service agent gently pulled him to his feet.
Tom looked down the hall at the other agent. In this moment, he couldn't remember either of their names. It wasn't important. He focused on the man down the hall who was attempting to make a phone call that clearly wasn't working.
"We're trying to call the White House, Sir. To find out what happened, but Dave isn't having much luck. We're assuming something terrible happened based on your reaction and the fact that we can't get through. I'm sorry, Sir, I am rambling. I tend to ramble when I am unsure of the plan of action or how to proceed…" The agent's speech slowly petered out.
Tom tried to speak, without any initial effect. His throat felt like someone had ran it through a barbed wire fence. He cleared his throat several times in a row and tried again. "It's alright, the rambling is helping. I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name?"
"Oh it's quite alright, Sir. It's Ian. What happened, Mr. President? Can you please tell me?" Tom could see the concern radiating out of the man, like a beacon. It helped him to focus on the words.
"My wife….Alex. She was in a car accident. She didn't make it. That was why they called…to inform me that I am now a widower and single father. Does that answer your question, Ian?" He hadn't meant to be trite, but at the moment, Tom didn't have much control over his immediate reaction to the desolation of his whole world.
"Oh no, Mr. President. Oh my god, that's terrible. What can I do? What can we do for you?" Ian was frantically waving to the other agent, desperately needing a second person to help him deal with a partially present President.
"I need Mike. He was with Alex. I need him to tell me what happened. I need to go back to the residence and see my kids. If they find out from anyone other than me…I don't want to even contemplate how they'll react." Tom stood slowly to his feet, tilting slightly to one side like he was being pushed by a strong wind.
"Of course, Dave will call his direct line while we get you down to the car. Dave, call Mike Ritter. His private line, as fast as you can. We're going back to residence. Now." Ian led Tom to the elevator and pushed the button to close the door.
They dropped to the basement parking garage and hurried to the black SUV. Ian held open the back door while Tom pulled himself into the car and strapped in. The other secret service agent was starting the car as he passed the phone to Ian in the passenger seat. Ian's eyes lit up as he finally heard someone answer on the other end.
"Hello, Mike? Thank god, we've been trying to get through to someone for a while now. The eagle wants to talk to you." Tom could hear Mike ask Ian something, but he couldn't make out the words. "Uh, I think that's a conversation for another time. The President is anxious to speak to you, Mike."
Ian held the phone out to Tom. Tom hesitated a moment before he gently grasped the phone's edges. He pulled it to his ear. "Mike, is it true? Is Alex….gone?"
Mike could hear the ache in the man's voice and knew that his own would echo it. "Yes, sir. I was in the car ahead of hers. We weren't far from the residence. Some asshole ran a red and rammed into her. Sir…Tom….I did all that I could. I ran to her, but I was too late to be able to do anything. She was gone before I even made it to her car."
Tom could hear the strain in Mike's voice. "Do you think she felt any pain?" He hated to ask that question, but he couldn't help himself.
"No sir, I don't. I mean, I'm not God and I don't want to associate with Him right at this moment, but I do think He gave her that one service. The paramedics indicated that it was instant. And I'm sorry to put this on you, Sir, but how would you like us to proceed?" Mike felt like he was betraying the man he respected most in the world. All Tom needed to do was grieve, but being President of the United States didn't allow for that luxury at this moment.
Mike heard a tiny groan come from the other end. "I can't think straight, Mike. Do you know who is still in the offices from the trio? I need someone to go to the residence and make sure that Leo and Penny don't know anything about this yet. I'd prefer Emily, but I'll take any of the three if they are there. Someone needs to wait there with them until I get there."
"Of course, Sir. I'll call straight away. Would you like me to meet you back at the residence tonight?" Tom could hear the complete exhaustion in the man's voice.
"No, I think you've dealt with quite enough for the night, Mike. Go home and go to bed." Tom ended the call and let the phone slowly slip onto his lap.
DS DS DS DS
Mike heard the click and immediately started dialing Emily's number. It rang for several seconds before he finally heard someone pick up.
"Emily Rhodes." She knew it sounded terse, but whoever was calling her white house line at close to ten at night deserved a little bit of terseness.
"Emily, it's Mike Ritter. Are you aware of what happened?" Generally, Mike and Emily got along quite well, but Mike didn't have the patience for any sort of attitude tonight of all nights.
"Mike? You never call me. What? No, what happened? Is the President okay?" The change in tone was immediate. Emily almost sounded frantic.
"Yes, the eagle is fine. Are you still at the White House?" Mike's voice had softened. If anything, Emily was his favorite out of all the President's proteges, and he knew that she would take this hard.
"Yea, you know me, you can't pull me away. Does the President need something?" Emily's tone had quieted down completely now. Mike hated to crash through her sudden calm.
"Unfortunately, yes. Ms. Kirkman was involved in a car accident not long ago. She died, Emily. This is confidential as of the moment. Leo and Penny don't know about it, and Tom needs you to go to the residence and make sure that they don't find out until he can tell them. He asked for you specifically, Emily. Can you handle this?" Mike heard only silence on the other end for several long seconds.
There was a slight static of breath on the other end before she finally answered. "Yes, of course, Mike. I'll do whatever he needs me to do. I'll go over right now and check on them. Then I'll wait for him in the foyer." He could hear the catch in her voice and waited a moment before speaking again.
"He's going to need you, Emily. I think you mean more to him than even he understands. You are going to be one of the only people who he will be able to take the mask off for. I'm saying this as your friend and his. It's time to step up. Are you ready for that?" Again, there was silence.
"I will be there for him in whatever capacity he needs me to be, Mike. He's always been there for me, and I won't let him down. Go home and go to bed, Mike. I've got him for now." She clicked off the phone before waiting for his reply.
Emily slowly put the phone down on its base and sat back in her chair. She wanted nothing more than a moment to personally grieve for her best friend and his family, but she didn't have the time.
DS DS DS DS
She was standing motionless in the entry when he walked through the doors. Tom didn't realize until that moment that she would be his port in the storm, at least in this moment. He faltered slightly in his walk and she leapt forward to catch him. He closed his eyes at her touch and keened softly. She pulled him into her, enveloping her arms around his neck and holding him as tightly as possible. He slowly wrapped his arms around her back and tiled his face into the crook of her neck. Silent tears stained the neckline of her sweater, but she didn't care. The silence lasted for several minutes before he slowly sighed and moved back slightly.
"How do I move forward, Emily? How to I tell them their mother is dead?"
Emily didn't know how to react to him in this moment. He needed someone to hold him for longer than a few minutes, but as their father, he needed to at least appear strong for Leo and Penny. She slowly brushed her fingertips along his cheek, catching the streaks that his tears had left.
"Tom, no matter what has ever happened to us, you've always been able to play the part you need to. When you're with me alone, say and do whatever you like to make you feel better. But for them, you need to put on a mask. A mask of strength for Penny and Leo. Do you understand, Tom?"
He stood looking deeply into her eyes for several minutes, seeming to draw strength from her unwavering gaze. He clutched at the back of her sweater for a moment and then pulled back.
"You're right. I need to put on a mask, at least for tonight. Where are they at?"
AUTHOR NOTE: Hey all, this is my first so please be gentle. Still trying to figure out the formatting. Any comments are good comments.