I own nothing.
Asking For Trouble.
1.
Elsa Aleena Winters and Guest
Mr. and Mrs. Winter
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Anna Janica Winters
To
Kristoff Bjorgman
on Saturday the Eleventh of August
at three o'clock
St. Peter's Parish Church
Arendelle, Norway.
"Holy fucking Christ" Elsa cursed loudly, re-reading the gold and white invitation again, unable to believe her eyes.
"What is it?" Moana asked from the couch, as she shifted her attention from the T.V. to her friend.
"Holy. Fucking. Christ." Elsa repeated, with wide and terrified eyes.
"You already said that" Merida said as she sipped from her glass of wine and started to walk towards her. Before Elsa could even react, Merida snatched the invitation from her hands, reading it quickly. "I don't get it. What's wrong with this?" Merida said frowning in confusion, while waving the invitation in the air.
"Let me see!" Moana said as she popped her head next to Merida's while she read the invitation. "Aww! Your little sis is getting married! Aren't you excited?" Moana said with a big smile, but it quickly faded when she saw Elsa's horrified face. "What's the problem?" She asked.
"Yeah, you don't like this dude or something?" Merida asked, and Elsa quickly shook her head.
"No, it's not that! Kristoff is adorable. He's perfect for Anna" Elsa said, as she started pacing across her living room.
"Then what is it? You haven't been home for years, don't you miss them?" Moana said as she watched her friend pace across the room.
"Of course I do! And that's exactly the problem" Elsa said biting her nail. Merida and Moana shared a confused look, making Elsa sigh. "Guys, I haven't been there in three years" Elsa said noting the word. "Ever since I moved to New York I've been avoiding the constant invitations and family meetings. This I can't avoid!" Elsa tried to explain. Both of her friends stayed quiet for a moment until Moana opened her mouth to say something but quickly shut it again.
"I don't get it" She then said to Merida.
"Yeah, me neither" Merida answered, tilting her head to Elsa.
Elsa groaned.
"Guys, you do know the reason why I moved here, right?" She asked, and both nodded.
"We do, but what does that has to do with your sister's wedding?" Moana said with her eyebrows furrowed. Elsa bit her lip.
"Because, that's the other problem. He's gonna be there" Elsa said quietly, as if someone else was going to hear them.
"Him? Why? After what he did to you, he's invited to your sister's wedding anyways?" Merida said wrinkling her nose in disgust.
"He's the groom's best friend since ever" Elsa said sighing. "Meaning, he's the best man"
"Well, that sucks" Merida said and sipped her wine. "I still don't get what the whole fuss is about. She's your sister, right? You deserve to be there more than him, so.." She said and shrugged.
"The whole fuss is about the fact that I'm gonna go as lonely as a recent widow or even more so! It's been three years since we broke up. Three years of me disappearing and now I'm supposed show up even worse than when I left!?" Elsa said, squeezing the platinum blonde messy bun at the top of her head.
"Oh, jeez. Are you serious?" Merida said rolling her eyes. "You're single, so what? Marriage sucks anyway, and so do fuckers like your ex-fiancé. You shouldn't even be worrying about impressing that so-"
"Not everyone shares your opinion, Merida" Moana reminded her. "Even though if I agree that you shouldn't be trying to impress him, I guess it's also okay that you feel nervous about it" Moana said in understanding, and Merida just rolled her eyes.
"What can I say as an excuse?" Elsa said biting her nails.
"Woah, what!?" Moana said arching a brow. "You can't skip your sister's wedding, Elsa!"
"Ugh, I know!" Elsa said whining. "But it's just- too soon!"
"Els, it's been three years" Merida pointed out.
"Exactly! Who marries someone in such little time?" Elsa said exasperated.
"Uh, everyone?" Moana said incredulously. "You said they met three years ago, right? They met when they were both adults with degrees and jobs and stuff, they had nothing holding them back unlike you and douchebag that were high school sweethearts"
"But we got engaged when we had five years of relationship" Elsa said "that's a two year difference!"
"Yeah, but you're Elsa" Merida said a bit ironically and Moana elbowed her instantly. Elsa scoffed.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Elsa said a tad offended.
"It means that you always triple check that everything has to be perfectly perfect before you decide to maybe make your next move. You spent your sweet time overthinking, analyzing, and figuring every possible scenario before you decide to do something" Merida bluntly explained.
"Merida!" Moana scolded.
"Well it seems that even though my overthinking took five years I still failed because here I am: dumped after three years living with my dog as my only company" Elsa said trying to not sound hurt.
"Whatever, Elsa. He's the dick here, not you; but that doesn't mean that you can skip this" Moana quickly said trying to comfort her. Elsa sighed.
"I know" She said truthfully. "I just wished I could go with someone, you know?" She said and took a sip of wine from her glass. "It'll be a lot easier than facing him all by myself after all these years" She said trying to ignore the knot forming in her throat. "Whatever, I don't even have guy friends to ask to so I guess I should just book a ticket to Norway" She said and moved to grab her phone.
"Wait!" Moana exclaimed. "I have the perfect solution for you!" She said making the other two girls look at her in confusion. "So, two weeks ago my friend at the gallery had to go to a class reunion party and she was absolutely horrified because there was this guy that was constantly trying to flirt her, texting her nonstop and literally stalking her in every form of social media there is. She thought that maybe he was gonna finally stop if she had a boyfriend and showed up there with one. Too bad she wasn't interested in anyone at the time and almost every guy annoyed the shit out of her because she's grumpy as hell, and she refused to take someone she knew to begin with. So, she rented a gent" Moana said excitedly.
Both girls gazed at her in complete silence for a few seconds.
"A-A what?" Elsa said. Merida just stood quiet looking at Moana like she was insane.
"A gent! A male escort" She said like it was obvious. Elsa and Merida blinked. "Anyway, the guy was great, a little bit of a dork but a true gentleman and very respectful. Everyone bought it instantly and the perv didn't bother Astrid the whole night or ever again for the matter. She was so happy with the results that she invited the escort for a drink afterwards and then they actually fell for each other! They're so happy right-"
"Okay! I think that's enough" Merida said, clearly not wanting to hear a fairytale love story.
"Are male escorts a thing?" Elsa said still confused.
"Apparently! And there's like, a whole catalogue of them. Astrid literally sat down with me and picked this guy like she was online shopping from Wal-Mart. They show you a picture of them, info, likes and dislikes, and there's even a review section" Moana explained.
"This is, the creepiest shit I've ever heard" Merida said disturbed.
"This... is it!" Elsa said, jumping in joy.
"Are you insane?" Merida said in complete disbelief.
"Of course not! This is PERFECT. I pay a cute guy to pose as my boyfriend to make that stupid asshole regret dumping me without a fucking explanation and in the mean time I avoid awkward moments, pity comments and complete embarrassment in front of my whole family"
"I told you!" Moana said and moved in front of Elsa's computer, Elsa following quickly behind. "Uh- what was the name of the site again? Oh, yeah!" She said and she starts typing rentagent on Google.
"How did I end up with friends like you two again?" Merida said, and Elsa shushed her.
"Here it is!" Moana said once the page loaded.
There were lots of info and even some 'Sale' guys pics here and there, but the very center of the site was a 'Wanna rent the perfect gent? Get started with this quiz!' button.
Moana quickly clicked on it.
Mark all the options you like
1- Around what age you want your perfect gent to be?
-18-20
-20-25
-25-30
-30-35
-35-40
-40-45
-45-50
"I'm 24 so 25-30" Elsa said, and Moana marked the option and clicked on 'next'
2- You'll like gents interested in?
-Females
-Males
-Both
-I don't really care
"Let's mark females just in case" Moana said and marked it.
3- Any specific complexion for you perfect gent?
"Uh, no, no really" Elsa instantly said who cared about complexions? Moana skipped through the palette and marked the 'no'.
4-Any general interests you'll like your perfect gent to have?
-Politics
-Sports
-Business
-Art
-Music
-Outdoor activities
-Other (type key words)
-None
"Uh, skip" Elsa said. "He has to act so I guess I can just tell him to shut up if he starts acting weird" Moana just shrugged and marked 'none'.
5- Lastly, any specific traits you want your perfect gent to have?
-Sporty
-Vegan
-Vegetarian
-Sing skills
-Dancing skills
-Instrumental Skills
...
"Ugh, no, this is nonsense" Elsa said and Moana marked 'none' again "Are people really this specific when they're looking for guys?"
"The real question is: do people really use this shit?" Merida said and Elsa glared at her, while Moana clicked on 'finish'.
"Okay, here they're" Moana said as she watched how lots of pictures with names below started to appear "Your possible choices"
Elsa got closer to her and started checking the bunch of beautiful men that appeared on her screen.
"Oh my god, this is gonna be impossible" She said, not taking the eyes of her screen.
"Here, let's make it a bit easier" Moana said and went to the 'Sort by' button and instead of 'featured' she marked 'best rated'. The site quickly refreshed and new guys started to appear. "Ooohh, look at him!" Moana said pointing at one guy, the best rated one. "Hercules. Gosh, he looks yummy" She said while drooling over the picture of a bare chested (and ripped) red headed guy that had a cute Greek nose.
But Elsa had her eyes stuck on something else.
"Him" She said pointing at the screen with wide eyes.
Moana snapped out of her drooling and Merida got close to the computer, suddenly curious.
Elsa was pointing at a picture of a silver-haired guy (that was too, bare chested) with a lean yet also ripped body. His skin was like perfectly clean porcelain and her eyes were an incredibly striking, icy blue color. He had a mischievous smirk and his eyes too had with a glint of it.
"Did you just search 'Elsa Winters' gender-bend' or something?" Merida said in complete shock.
"Oh my god this guy is perfect for you!" Moana said still admiring the picture. "He's so handsome! And second best-rated for god's sake!" She exclaimed as she clicked in his picture.
Jackson Frost.
Born: January 3, 1992 (25)
Allows: Pretending, Public Displays of Affection (kissing included).
Prices to be discussed with renter: Sexual Intercourse.
Elsa nearly choked at that.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD" She nearly screamed. "Are these freaking prostitutes?" She whispered/screamed to Moana, and Merida fell on the floor crying of laughter.
"Well of course! Some of them are, others not" Moana said "But most of them are, yeah. I thought you understood that when I said 'escorts'?"
"Well no! I did not" Elsa said red as a tomato as she pretended not to look at this Jackson Frost picture.
"Oh, don't be a baby Elsa! If you don't want sex then don't have it! He won't rape you or anything, he's doing this for money after all" Moana scolded.
"You know what? I changed my mind, this is gonna be epic" Merida said recovering from her laugh attack as she dried the tears from her eyes. Elsa bit her lip again and gazed between her friends and Jack's picture.
Going alone, and facing her ex-fiancé as the crazy cat lady is gonna be way worse than having a sex-bomb undercover prostitute posing as your boyfriend.
"How many for 10 days" Elsa said and Merida and Moana fist-bumped. Moana then went back to the screen and selected the option for ten days.
"Holy cow" She said. "Fifty grand" She said and gazed at her biting her lip. "We can look for cheaper ones if you like"
"No way" Elsa said. "I want him" She said and moved to her computer pushing her a bit to finish her transaction.
Money was never a problem for the Winters, her parents were almost the owners of Arendelle (a small, yet surprisingly rich city in Norway). Still, Elsa has never spent tons of money in nonsense like her sister often did.
But, desperate times require desperate measures. She, under any circumstances was gonna be ashamed (again) in front of her ex-fiancé, much less she was gonna deal on her own with the awkward and somewhat rude comments that envious relatives were surely gonna give her at her very own house.
If 50,000$ was the price to pay to step out of the plane with a gorgeous, god-sent human being, then you might as well take all her money right now.
Once she finished the transaction and filled the blanks of the information the agency required, they e-mailed her almost instantly.
Good afternoon Miss Elsa,
We're glad that you decided to use RentAGent services, and we're happy to say that the gent you booked, Jackson Frost, will be available to accompany you the days you've requested.
The transaction was a success, Jackson has already been notified about your booking, and he should be getting in contact with you shortly with the information you provided us. Still, here's Jackson's number and e-mail (attached), in case he experiences difficulties with communication.
When you two meet, he'll be giving you a contract for you to sign, and we'll be ready to start.
We also want to say that your experience will be delightful, with no troubles of any kind; and we, the managers, will be always available in case of any doubt or problem (the latter we assure you, won't happen).
Jackson's a gentleman, as all of our gents. He'll treat you like a queen and won't ever disrespect you. You're in safe hands.
In case you want more services than what's already included, you can discuss them with him.
Attentive to everything,
RentAGent Management.
Elsa gulped loudly as her face started to burst in flames.
Holy hell.
What has she done.
Before she could even react, her phone started ringing.
She felt like her heart exploded.
Moana and Merida started to scream.
"Oh my fucking god what did I do!?" Elsa said horrified covering her face with her hands.
"C'mon Elsa! Pick up, pick up, pick up!" Moana said as she gave her phone.
"W-What do I say?!" Elsa let out a cry as she looked at her phone like it was the devil itself.
"Just say hi for fucks sake!" Merida said. Elsa trembled, but took a deep breath and hit the green button.
"H-Hello?" She stuttered.
'Oh my god, Elsa. You're pathetic'
"Hey, is this Elsa Winters?"
For god and all the saints that exist sake.
Of course he had to have a voice as deep as the blue ocean, as soft as velvet and as delicious as honey.
Her toes curled.
"Y-Yah" She blushed as how her voice sounded like a dying pig cleared her throat soundly. "I mean, yeah." She said and gulped. "W-Who is this?" She said, and heard a low chuckle that made her ears burn in flames.
"This is Jackson Frost" He said, and she could almost hear a teasing smirk that she was 100% sure his face had right now. "Jack, for short. From Rent-"
"Yeah, I know" Elsa quickly interrupted him. How embarrassing it was for a 24 old woman to rent a freaking guy, anyway? She was pretty sure he'll find this completely embarrassing as well.
"Okay," He said chuckling again. "So, they told me that you requested me from August 3 to August 12"
"Uh, yeah" Elsa said, clearing her throat again.
"I just wanted to say that, I normally meet the person I'm going to work for a few days before so we can discuss how we're gonna do this, but I'm not in New York at the moment and I'm gonna arrive there on August 2, late at night" He said. "So, I'm afraid that I won't be able to see you before the day, it's that okay?"
"Yeah, yeah! Totally" Elsa quickly said. "Actually, we'll be traveling that day, if that's not a problem"
"Traveling? Where?" He said curiously. "I mean, of course it's not a problem, I'll do whatever you say for those days. I'm just curious."
"To Norway" Elsa said, feeling a slight dread in her chest. "To my sister's wedding" She clarified.
"Whoa, that's far. Guess we'll have time to talk in the plane then" Jack said and Elsa could feel him smiling.
"Yeah, I'll sent the ticket to your address, it's that okay?" Elsa asked shyly.
"Of course, princess" He said and Elsa's heart stopped. "I guess I'll see you on August 3" He added, and Elsa laughed a little too exaggerated.
"Yeah! See you!" She said and hit the red button as fast as she could to then face-palm herself.
"So... how it go?" Moana asked.
"I think I'm gonna have a heart attack" Elsa breathed out. "And I already know the day I'll die!" She said and took 3 large gulps of wine.
"When is that?" Merida asked.
"August the third"
A.N.:
Oh my gosh! It's been a while since I wrote Jelsa stories and it feels SO GOOD to do it again.
Hey guys! I hope you liked this first chap/Introduction!
So, just so you know, this story will be loosely based in 'The Wedding Date' and 'Asking For Trouble' by Elizabeth Young (very loosely).
1.I just wanted to clarify a few things before I forget: Okay so RentAGent is a thing, I used the company/agency's name because I couldn't think of anything original. My intention isn't to advertise any of the company names I use, just so you know.
RATING WILL CHANGE. I'm still on T rating, but this will turn to M shortly.
Since this is loosely based on the movie and the book, please DON'T spoil anything in the review section, even if I don't use the stuff you think I will.
Anyway! I'll probably update tomorrow because I'm SO excited to write this and it's just so fun to do. Get ready for very awkward and funny moments.
REVIEWS ARE DEEPLY APPRECIATED; PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!
Till next time!
Silvana.
(Edited: 29/01/18)
(Re-edited: 10/12/19)