Overwatch vs. Team Fortress 2: Battle of Trump for Hong Kong
The EVIL conservative Team Fortress 2 characters wanted to kill the good leftist heroes of Overwatch because the right wing TF2 characters were jealous that Overwatch was more popular than them (because Overwatch is a good liberal game). That was when the evil Soldier got an idea….
"Hey!" Soldier said, "How about we frame the Overwatch cucks by making them look like bad guys!?"
"How are we gonna do that?" asked Spy.
Soldier pondered over this for a while, until he got an incredibly EVIL idea!
"We will make it look like the Overwatch cucks doesn't care about Hong Kong!" Soldier exclaimed; "We'll brainwash the president of Blizzard to be think he's a China puppet so he'll ban a Hong Kong player of a Blizzard game, than everyone we'll boycott Blizzard's games and soon the Overwatch players will have no other option but to play our game, and soon when they play our right wing game they will be converted to the side of the anti-SJWs and Alt Right to serve our dear leader Lord Trump!"
All the TF2 classes cheered over this idea, as their leader, Donald Trump, chimed in to exclaim, "Excellent idea, my Soldier! Soon the Overwatch players will be in my control once they go back to playing Team Fortress 2!"
The next day, Spy used his dumb sneaking powers to sap the brain of J. Allen Brack to brainwash him into Xi Jinping's puppet. Xi Jinping knew about this, since he is another one of Trump's evil friends, so he happily controlled the now robotic J. Allen Brack to ban Blitzcung from Hearthstone esports; and got everyone very mad at Blizzard after this…
"Oh no!" cried Tracer, "I can't believe everyone hates us!"
"Everyone used to believe we were heroes…" sobbed Mei, "But now everyone hates us because our company banned a Hong Kong player! I can never imagine any of us letting this happen…"
Mei was incredibly sad over this, since she believed the Overwatch team was meant to make the world a better place, but instead it seemed to people they weren't living up to their purpose.
"This isn't right!" Lucio said, "This isn't the Overwatch I believe in! Blizzard should be standing with Hong Kong!"
Suddenly Mercy and Genji came in to the room with an unconscious body of J. Allen Brack.
"Look what we found…" Genji told everyone.
It turned out, there was a sapping mechanic on the back of J. Allen Brack's head.
"Who could've done this?" DVa asked.
"It seems rather obvious to me…" Mercy said, "This is clearly the work of Team Fortress 2!"
"But how could the Team Fortress 2 guys be trying to hurt our reputation!?" Tracer said shockingly, "They're good guys, I'd thought they'd be proud of us as Overwatch was inspired by them!?"
"Yes," Genji replied, "The TF2 crew may have seemed good back then, but now they have become evil right wingers."
"How could that be though?" Mei asked.
Genji continued, "Team Fortress 2 was formed in the late 2000's, back when George W. Bush was president and before Barack Obama made the world a better place. TF2's popularity was at its peak before Obama's influence had turned the pop culture into smart liberals. TF2's heroes couldn't appeal to the audience once they've become more aware of their racist, sexist, and homophobic undertones in their so called 'humor and memes' as the TF2 heroes likes to call their jokes."
"Yeah," Tracer admitted, "When you look at them in a modern context, the TF2 heroes are pretty dated in their nasty senses of humor…"
"Especially that nasty Soldier!" said DVa, "That guy is such a racist piece of crap!"
Genji kept up with his monologue, "So once we became more popular than TF2 due to our superior politics and nicer humor, the TF2 crew snapped and became very jealous of us. Their envy got to a breaking point that every crew member of TF2 converted to the Alt Right and anti-SJW crowd, and they ALL voted for Donald Trump in the elections."
"That's horrible!" shouted Tracer, "How can they vote for that pig who's willing to stop me from loving Emily!? I'll never forgive the TF2 crew!"
The Overwatch team, consisting of Tracer, DVa, Mei, Lucio, Genji, and Mercy, all agreed to storm 2Fort and face the entire Team Fortress 2 gang, to demand answers for why they purposefully went out of their ways to destroy Overwatch and Blizzard's reputations.
Once the Overwatch crew got to their destination, they found the entire Team Fortress 2 cast in their office.
"How could you Scout!?" Tracer shouted, "I looked up to you! You were my hero! And now you just go ahead and try to destroy me and my friend's reputations throughout the entire world!?"
"Yeah," laughed Scout, "What about it cupcake?"
"And how could you vote for Trump!?" Tracer continued, "You know he'd break me and my girlfriend up!"
Tracer was on the verge of tears.
Scout pointed at Tracer and cackled maniacally, "This is why you shouldn't be so 'woke', kiddo! Me and the boys just thought it'd be fitting for you and your SJW friends get what you deserve and be shown to the world as not all your cracked up to be!"
"You lie!" DVa screamed angrily.
"I'm sort of retroactively glad Overwatch became more popular than us…" Spy said, "Once we became unpopular, we've come to the light and found the Lord Trump, to show us how great America can be!"
"We won't let you win TF2!" Lucio challenged.
"Oh yeah tough guy?" shouted Scout, "Let's see who the REAL heroes are! Let's get these diversity quota mothas, guys!"
So the battle begun. First Sniper tried to throw his pee jar at Mercy to make her smell like pee, but Genji deflected the pee jar with his sword and it bounced back at Sniper, covering him in pee.
"Crikey!"cried Sniper, "The heck you do that for!?"
Genji didn't respond and instead chopped off Sniper's head with his katana, blood oozing from Sniper's neck. Sniper's head landed on the floor, and Genji stomped on the decapitated head with his foot, crushing it.
Mei shot icicles at Engineer while he tried to use his sentry to shoot her.
"Yee haw!" shouted Engineer, "You gonna become momma's home cookin' once I'm done with you!"
Engineer also revealed that he had Demoman working for him. It turned out, once the TF2 team become full on neo nazi Trump supporters, Engineer gave in to his inner redneck and made Demoman his slave because Demoman is black. Engineer told Demoman to kill Mei for him. Demoman was about to shoot a sticky grenade at Mei…
"Wait!" Mei asked, "Demoman, don't you want your freedom back?"
"Yeah brother," Lucio added, "Don't let the white man put you down!"
"You know what?" Demoman said, "You both are right! Fuck you Engie!"
"How dare you talk back to your master!?" Engineer snapped, "I'm gonna whip you so hard once we're finished boy!"
Demoman shoved his grenade launcher way down into Engineer's throat.
"What the f…" Engineer was about to say before Demoman shot a grenade down his throat. The grenade exploded every organ inside Engineer's body, and all he could do was vomit out blood and destroyed organs before he passed out on the floor, covered in his own blood.
Once Demoman joined the side of Overwatch, the other Team Fortress 2 characters got really angry, especially Soldier.
"You'll all learn the power of 'MURICA once I've finished all of you!" Soldier snapped.
Soldier sent out the Medic and Heavy to take care of business.
"I'm so glad to not be a socialist and be serving dictator Trump!" Heavy exclaimed.
"And I can't wait to harvest the organs of these racially impure creatures," exclaimed Medic, "So I can create the purest German man with their body parts!"
"Wait!" Tracer interrupted, "Aren't you two gay for each other!"
Medic and Heavy then paused and then realized how much they truly loved each other this whole time.
Soldier immediately shot his rocket launcher at both Medic and Heavy before they could do anything else, killing them both.
"Ick!" Soldier said in disgust, "I should've killed those two homos when I had the chance!"
Scout tried to zip at Tracer and kill her, but Tracer was faster than Scout with her time traveling abilities. She kept zipping randomly around the place, giving Scout a headache.
"Stay in one spot already you dumb cow!" Scout screamed.
Tracer transported right behind Scout and stuck a time bomb over his face.
"Here ya go!" Tracer cheerfully taunted before he transported out of the way to save herself from the explosion about to happen…
The time bomb exploded Scout's entire body; every limb of his fell apart and onto the floor as blood oozed from every part of his dismantled body.
Soldier was extremely upset over half of the TF2 team was now either dead or on Overwatch's side. He was especially upset the slave of the group, Demoman, wasn't following his orders. Luckily for Soldier, his right-hand man Spy was good at taking care of traitors…
Spy cloaked himself invisible as he crept behind Demoman, before he immediately shoved his knife into poor Demoman's neck, slitting his throat as Spy carved around his neck like an ISIS member would before holding the fully decapitated head of Demoman above like some kind of sick trophy.
"We all never liked you Spy!" DVa said, "Even back when TF2 seemed cool, you always stuck out as a suspiciously nasty troll like someone on 4chan! You're probably the most evil member of all of TF2, I bet!"
"You're right muh lady…" Spy laughed, "I am actually a 4chan user in fact, I'm on there every single day 24/7!"
"People like you make me sick!" DVa said as she flipped her middle finger at Spy.
"You know," Spy said, "4chan users like me hate anime weeaboo girls such as yourself...Well then again, we 4channers hate women in general…but anyways, time to meet your end you little whore! Ho ho!"
Spy charged at DVa with a knife like a psycho, but luckily she was inside her MEKA, and she launched the MEKA at Spy as she was about to blow it up.
"NERF THIS!" DVa shouted.
Spy tried to get away from the MEKA's direction, but he was trapped in a corner as it flew near him and exploded. Spy's entire body immediately blew up on impact with the MEKA's vicinity, and all that remained of Spy was a pile of blood and guts making a mess on the floor.
Now only one of Soldier's minions remained, the Pyro.
"Go get them Pyro!" shouted Soldier, "Make 'Murica and Daddy Trump proud!"
Pyro stood in front of the Overwatch crew silently for a moment, before removing his gas mask to reveal he was actually Zoe Quinn this whole time!
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?" everyone else shouted.
"Yep," Zoe said, "I was the Pyro the whole time! And I intentionally joined TF2 to infiltrate it once the rumors of it secretly being a pro-nazi team came to light…"
"HOW DARE YOU!?" Soldier said, "You were spying on us the whole time!? YOU WILL FEAR THE WRATH OF 'MURICA!"
Soldier had rabies foaming at the mouth, as he charged at Zoe Quinn like a rabid dog with his pick axe. Luckily, Zoe Quinn still had a flame thrower at hand and burned the lunatic alive. The Soldier screamed in pain to death as the Overwatch heroes cheered at Zoe Quinn's heroic actions.
"Now we all need to leave this area at once!" Zoe Quinn exclaimed.
"Why?" asked Tracer.
"This place is going to explode at any minute!" Zoe shouted.
Luckily, a plane was outside, and in the plane was Soldier 76, Winston, Brigitte, and Reindhart, all waiting for the rest of the Overwatch heroes and Zoe Quinn to board the ship before 2Fort explodes. Everyone boarded the plane safely as it immediately flew away before the entirety of 2Fort exploded into rubble, with all the dead TF2 'heroes' inside of it.
The next morning, CNN revealed that after J. Allen Brack was cured by the Overwatch heroes of his brainwashing, he lifted the bans of Blitzchung and all other esports players he wrongfully banned and Blizzard became a pro-Hong Kong company. The Overwatch heroes celebrated that they had their good public image back.
Meanwhile, both Donald Trump and Xi Jinping were arrested and imprisoned for life without parole by the United Nations for their combined crimes of brainwashing J. Allen Brack and just being evil dictator scumbags.
Gabe Newell, after he realized TF2 was a pro-Trump nazi group all along, shut down the game, making only a handful of people in the world still playing the extremely-dated game sad about it. Gaben didn't really care anyways, he was too busy eating donuts all day and not making Half Life 3.
Once both Donald Trump and Xi Jinping were locked up in the same cell together, they noticed a police officer walk by.
"My rumbly tumbly tummy needs some honey," the police officer said, "But I have no honey, so I'm not in a good mood right now…"
The police officer revealed himself to be Winnie the Pooh; however he was super-ripped and ready to pound some ass!
"Instead of honey," Winnie the Pooh said, "I think I'll just make pound cakes out of the both of you!"
Pooh did his usual laugh as both Trump and Xi cried like little babies as they were both about to become Pooh's bitches…
THE END!