AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I began writing this fic, then titled Light Embracing Darkness, in 2011. It was an experiment—a way to gauge how much I'd grown as a writer since creating the original characters you'll meet here. It ended up unfinished and collecting dust (and the spare review here and there) on this site. In peak pandemic, I unearthed some old files in quarantine and realized there were more chapters that never made it online. The problem was I couldn't stand them. These characters and their world gave me so much comfort, but again, I'd grown. I started editing and returned to the old question: Is it possible to write our boys to Paradise while still staying true to the spirit of the series?

This story was a source of light in a heavy time. If you do give it a chance, I hope it gives you an escape the way it did for me.

Logistical things:

Book of the Winds is the first of a two-book series. It's cross-posted to AO3, if you'd prefer to read it there. I've tried to keep things consistent across platforms, but because editing on FFnet is a bit of a hassle, AO3 will probably have the most polished version of the story. As inspired by some of my favorite fics (check out Lady Librarian's stories), endnotes cover behind-the-scenes thoughts and research (i.e. fun facts that are probably interesting only to me). Many, many references to canon, but I was careful to include new content in chapters that cover canon events. Bear with me. The story does eventually diverge.

I've deleted the old chapters of Light Embracing Darkness because I'm confident that Book of the Winds is an improvement, but if you find yourself missing them, PM me. I'd be happy to share a copy.

And if you are also still lurking around the fandom of this incredible anime, leave a review or PM me. I'd love to hear from you. :)

Jasmine and Salt

The Countess D

The winds grew stronger as they ran across the plains, the breeze turning to a gust to a gale that pelted them with chunks of ice and persistent flakes. It was Hige who'd spotted the cave, the mouth of it narrow and dark against the tundra, and ushered them in. They stumbled through the opening, relieved to find that it led into a cavern large enough to contain their four bodies, and then some.

"Looks like it'll be a long one," Tsume said, standing near the mouth of the cave to look out into the blustering white.

Kiba nodded from his seat against the wall. "Until evening, at least."

"I say we just spend the night here." Hige wasted no time in stretching across the cave floor, laying out on his belly. "We haven't had a real rest in days. At least this place is comfortable."

"We've rested plenty," Tsume replied. "You just spend all your energy complaining when we do."

"I wouldn't call sleeping in the snow resting."

"What, you want a resort? Find one. Be my guest."

"I kind of agree with Hige." Toboe curled up along the cave's back wall, cheek laid out on his folded hands. "It's been a while since we've slept indoors. And this is as close as we're gonna get for a while, right?"

Tsume frowned, turning to Kiba. "I assume you're going to want to move as soon as the wind lets up." He didn't respond. Though his ears were perked, Tsume's words failed to reach him. He stood near the entrance, his eyes stayed fixed on the raging storm. Tsume leaned forward with a scowl. "Hey. I'm talking to you."

"Did you hear that?" Kiba replied distantly. "Listen."

Tsume's face fell. "Not this shit again."

"Hear what?" Toboe asked. "The Flower Maiden?"

Kiba shook his head. "A wolf."

"A wolf?" Hige moved to sit up. The words had flipped a switch, transforming their exhaustion to hopeful curiosity. They hadn't seen another wolf since Freeze City. Hige looked to Tsume, remembering how the stubborn wolf was the last to join them, before his eyes returned to Kiba. "What'd you hear?"

Kiba frowned. It was faint, but even now it felt as if it were ringing in his ears. Plaintive. Desperate. Bright. "They're calling for help."

The wolves went silent, listening intently. After a few moments of hearing nothing but the storm, Tsume shook his head. "Nothing."

"You're wrong. Try harder."

"Listen, jackass—"

"Well, I think I heard something," Toboe said, pushing towards the front of the cave. Tsume crossed his arms, watching as he turned to Kiba with an eager grin. "A bark?"

Kiba shook his head, irritation flashing across his features. "No. A howl. It's difficult to hear but it's there."

Toboe's expression dimmed as Tsume strained to listen once more. No matter how he tried, there was little but the wind whipping about outside. But he knew better than to argue. Kiba would go on about Paradise and mysterious howls until the sun came up, given the chance. "Even if you really are hearing something, do you really expect us to go out and find them?"

"Well, we can't just leave 'em out there," Hige protested. "We have to help them, right?"

After a moment, Toboe suggested, "But if we're not really sure…"

Kiba frowned. After a few moments of thought, he reluctantly pulled himself away from the entrance, searching for a spot to rest. "We'll wait until the storm lifts and then search."

"So we're spending the night?" Toboe asked, his shoulders relaxing at Kiba's nod.

Hige frowned. "But a wolf might be dying out there."

"There's nothing we can do," Tsume said. "We'll have to do our best tomorrow."

Kiba got settled on the cold floor. As he closed his eyes, Hige's final words filled the cave. "Who knows if there'll be anything left."

Kiba woke at nightfall and listened to the snores of his companions, echoing off the rocks. The swish of fur against stone. Outside, the wind whistled, but when he opened his eyes to look out from the cave, the frenzy of white had eased to reveal night sky. They'd made it through the worst of the storm.

Carefully, he stood, turning his head to confirm that his companions were fast asleep. Toboe was curled tightly against himself, his metal bangles glinting in the depths of their shelter. Hige was stretched out against the wall, pose vulnerable and careless. And Tsume…

Kiba turned and found him sleeping near the entrance, a watchman bested by sleep. He walked towards him, treading softly on the cave floor, mindful of the stray pebbles around his feet. Tsume's brow twitched as he moved past. Beyond that, he didn't stir. In no time at all, Kiba was stepping onto a fresh coat of unforgivingly cold snow.

A gust of wind blew against his side as he thought back to when he'd first heard that miserable howl. It was weak, half-hearted, the swan song of a wolf who knew this call was their last hope. It came from the east. At least, that was Kiba's guess. Realizing he had nothing else to go on but that, he turned into the wind and pushed forward.

"Tsume."

He stirred, scowling at the sound. Growling, he blinked away slumber, seeing flashes of white peek through the shadows.

"Tsume, get up."

Slowly, Tsume's vision came into focus. The white wolf that regularly served as the bane of his existence these days stood just beyond the mouth of the cave. He blinked again and realized Kiba was carrying something: a mass of dark fur around his neck. He cursed under his breath, moving to ease Kiba's burden through the narrow entrance. As Tsume expected, he found himself carrying a black wolf shivering so violently it seemed on the verge of shattering apart.

As Kiba stepped inside, Tsume hissed, "What did you do?"

Kiba shook snow from his fur, one of the flakes flying into Tsume's eye. He didn't notice, instead gesturing at him to carry the wolf deeper into the cave. "I found her."

"Her," Tsume echoed, the volume of his voice slowly rising.

"She was nearly buried in the snow," he said hurriedly, leading Tsume to the center of the floor.

"You searched without us?" Tsume asked, the wolf's skin cold against him. At his voice, Hige and Toboe began to stir.

Kiba gave him a look that made it clear that he wouldn't deign to answer the obvious. Instead, he laid on the floor and left space for the black wolf beside him. "Here. You and the others, too. She needs warmth."

Toboe lifted his head, his mouth opening in a yawn. "Guys, what's going on?"

Tsume examined the wolf closely, now noticing the rise and fall of her chest. He set her beside Kiba with a care at odds with the tone of his voice. "You said we'd wait until tomorrow."

"Shut up," Hige groaned. "Can't you two bicker somewhere else?"

Kiba growled in response. "She would have died. Look at her."

"Is that…?" Toboe murmured quietly before suddenly perking up with a gasp. "That's—"

"Kiba made a friend," Tsume said bitterly. He beckoned Toboe over. "Make yourself useful, kid. Warm her up." Toboe nodded, scrambling to press himself against the wolf's other side, grimacing at the cold as he made contact.

"Warm who?" Hige said, sitting up to look over. He stared dumbly at the form laying beside him before blinking the last of sleep away. "That's…" The dark wolf stirred, moving closer to Kiba with a soft whimper. Hige let out a soft breath as he moved in for a closer look. "Holy shit."

"Will you shut up?" Tsume spat back.

A soft groan filled the cave. "Where…?" At once, the boys stilled. Kiba watched the wolf wake against him, her eyes fluttering open.

Kiba's fur was the first thing she saw, disorienting in that it matched the scenery she'd seen last—bleak white. But then she noticed that wherever she was, there was heat here, seeping into her fur and bones. She flexed her paws. Instead of dirt and snow, she was met with smooth rock. "What happened?" She said softly, voice hoarse. She turned her head and took in the sight of Kiba's concerned gaze, Hige's curious one, and Tsume, watching on from a distance, their forms shifting from boys to wolves to boys again.

She gasped, trying to will her tired limbs to move, only to push lamely against Toboe's side. He let out a soft cry, throwing his hands up in surrender as the wolf turned to look at him. "It's okay! We're—" Toboe faltered, looking to Tsume for help.

Hige chipped in instead, his hands also up in a show of good will as he laughed nervously. "We're all friends here! We're wolves, see?"

"How...?" She began, pale yellow eyes darting around the room.

Hige tilted his head, laughing nervously, "Uh, what do you mean?"

Kiba shot Hige a look before speaking in a low, calm tone. "You got caught in the storm, do you remember that?" She nodded slowly, focusing her gaze on him. "You called for us. You howled."

She stared at Kiba, her brow furrowing as she tried to make sense of his story. "Did I?"

Kiba nodded. "What's your name?"

The wolf gulped, looking again at Hige, then Tsume, then Toboe. Her gaze lingered on Toboe before she turned back to Kiba and replied, "Atra. It's Atra."

"Atra," he echoed, studying her carefully.

"Well, rest, Atra." Tsume frowned down at her. "We'll talk more in the morning."

Reluctantly, Atra laid her head back down, shooting half-hearted looks of suspicion at the wolves as they laid in a circle around her. But before long, the heat of their bodies and the aches in her flesh sweetened the prospect of sleep. Somehow, she was alive, she thought, and let her eyes drift closed.

The next morning, Atra found herself curled against the collared wolf with the tawny thick coat and the pup, each of them warm and still. She shifted slowly, stretching her limbs and testing the limits of her body.

"Hey, she's awake," the collared wolf said, his voice a bit too loud for Atra's liking.

Something or someone shifted at the cave entrance. Atra looked up and saw the white wolf from the previous night standing there, watching. Harsh sunlight spilled into the cave behind him, his coat catching fire in the rays.

She nodded, looking around the cave cautiously. The wolf with the scar was gone. Out to hunt maybe. When she turned back to the entrance, the wolf had been replaced with a young man, brown hair long and unkempt, eyes the shade of a cloudy day. He'd moved closer to her, ready to offer a hand. "Can you stand?"

Atra nodded again, slowly pushing herself up from the ground. The collared wolf shifted to give her enough space. The pup continued sleeping, his body shifting slightly into the space Atra had previously occupied. Atra gingerly took a couple of steps towards the boy. He observed her closely, moving back as if to give her more distance to travel and gauge her strength. She obliged.

The collared wolf got up behind her, circling her once. When he appeared on her other side, he was replaced by a boy with a kind if impish face, hair and eyes the color of honey. He grinned at Atra as she shied away from his gaze. "You don't seem hurt."

She shook her head. "No. Just tired."

"Good. We'll be able to leave on schedule."

The boy with the honeyed eyes looked at his companion in disbelief before turning back to her. "Atra, right?" She nodded. "I'm Hige. Sleeping beauty here is Toboe. Tsume, the grumpy one from last night? He's checking to see if the coast is clear. And this charmer," he gestured at the white wolf, "Is Kiba. A little rough around the edges but not all bad, I promise."

Atra looked from wolf to wolf, matching the faces to the names. When she looked at Kiba, her brow furrowed. "You're the one who found me." He nodded. Atra waited for him to offer more information, but none came. "How?"

She paced around the cave to stretch her limbs as they explained her rescue. On paper, the story was simple. Kiba heard her howling against the wind, improbable as it was, and when the storm lifted he went to search for her. At first, it seemed like a fool's errand, but then he caught the scent of her on a breeze and followed it to the place where she'd collapsed. She was partially buried under the snow by then. But her fur made it easy to find her, a dark beacon against the white. There was only one problem.

"I didn't howl," Atra insisted, pausing mid-step to turn towards him.

There was a flicker of annoyance in those gloomy eyes. "I heard you."

"Yeah, but…" Hige lifted a brow, looking to Kiba. "No one else did."

Kiba tilted his head slightly, as if a new angle might offer more answers. "You were caught in a storm. Why wouldn't you call for help?"

Atra's lips pressed into a line. "I didn't know there was anyone to hear it," she replied, letting his line of questioning fall.

Hige looked between them, shifting awkwardly in his seat. "Well, what were you doing out there anyway? It's not everyday we find a wolf out there."

Atra turned, continuing to pace. "I'm looking for someone. My sister." She was quiet for a moment, as if considering whether or not to share more. "What about all of you?"

She thought it strange that Hige turned to Kiba to answer. Kiba met his gaze before replying, "We're looking for someone too."

The conversation stopped at the sounds of crunching snow. Before long, Tsume appeared, stepping into the cave. "All's clear. We can leave whenever we're ready." He stopped once inside, noticing that Atra was up. With a critical gaze, he asked, "Are you coming with us?"

Before she could answer, Hige eagerly said, "Well, I think you should. It's not safe for a girl like you out there."

Atra narrowed her eyes, though she couldn't fight back a smile. "A girl like me?"

Hige grinned. "I mean I'm sure you can take care of yourself and all, but come on. It helps to have company."

"What Porky's trying to say is that you can come with us for a bit before going off on your own. We went through all that trouble to thaw you. It'd be a shame to waste it." Atra turned to Tsume to respond and blinked when she found a silver-haired man in his place, leather-clad and piercings in his ears. "We try to travel with our disguises when we can. You gonna have a problem with that?"

She shook her head, "No. It's just been a while."

"Good." Tsume looked to Toboe. "Someone wake the kid."

Kiba watched as Hige nudged Toboe with his foot, rudely raising his voice. "Come on, runt, we're leaving." The pup whined in response, moving away from the sound.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kiba watched Atra take her place beside him, the two of them waiting at the entrance of the cave. It occurred to him to ask where she'd been heading in the first place—it would make no sense for her to join them unless they were moving in the same direction—but when he turned to do so the question died on his lips.

She'd slipped into her guise of a human girl, her black fur matched with straight hair that fell to the contours of her collarbone, skin smooth and sun-rich brown. She was dressed modestly, plainly, her body warmed by a tight forest green sweater, black jeans, and boots. Her eyes, pale yellow in truth, had darkened too. They watched Kiba expectantly, pools of petrified amber studying him as he did her. "Something wrong?"

He shook his head. "We're headed south. Does that work for you?"

She nodded. "I was headed to a city there."

"Come on, kid," Tsume called out beside them. "What's taking you so long?"

Toboe pouted as he stood, his eyes still clouded with sleep. "I had a dream," he murmured.

"A dream?" Hige asked.

"Of Paradise." The wolves turned to him, the cave quiet as their breaths caught in their throat. "I had a dream we reached Paradise."

Atra's lips parted in realization. Kiba looked to her, curious, before looking to Toboe. "Why don't you tell us about it while we're moving, Toboe?" He felt it again, Atra's eyes on him, and smiled.

The wolves were kind. They traveled at a leisurely pace, mindful of Atra's weary legs, as Toboe told the pack excitedly about his dream. There were lunar flowers, he claimed, red and blue, as far as the eye could see. A woman named Granny was there, someone precious to this eager boy, and she welcomed the pack with a feast of food. "It was like a party and we were all treated as guests," Toboe said, kicking up snow as if he were dancing. "And there was great music and everything!"

"It sounds like a city coffee shop to me," Hige dismissed, closing his eyes and turning away.

"But it's true, Hige! It was so amazing! It made me really think it was Paradise," Toboe insisted. Of all the wolves, Toboe was the most expressive. As a boy, it was no different, his brown eyes quick to betray his wonder or frustration. As Toboe wilted, doubt seeping into his expression, Atra fought back a smile. Her sister would love him. "It's kind of… hard to describe."

"Well, with a brain like yours, what do you expect?" Hige snipped.

"Give me a break!" Toboe gestured to Kiba who was watching silently from the sidelines, smiling. "Not even Kiba's told me what Paradise is really like so how am I supposed to know? What color are lunar flowers anyway? Can you tell me that?"

"The color of the moon." They turned to Atra. She bowed her head slightly in bashful surprise. "Lunar flowers are the color of the moon."

Toboe's face fell. "So they're just all white?"

"You'd call the moon white?" Atra hemmed, "I'd say it's more beautiful than that… More like a pale gold."

"So you've seen them?" Toboe asked, leaning closer to her.

Atra shrank under Toboe's eager gaze. She laughed softly. "Well, that's just what I've heard." She looked to Kiba, "But you think you've seen them?"

Kiba noted her skepticism. "I did."

"We've been following the smell of lunar flowers," Toboe said, his head lifting with pride.

"So you're seeking Paradise," Atra said, a line appearing between her brows.

"We're wolves," Kiba countered. "All wolves seek Paradise."

Atra tilted her head at him, weighing him and his words on a scale. "No… I don't think they all do." Before Kiba could press her, she moved ahead of the pack and looked thoughtfully to the horizon. "What do lunar flowers smell like?"

Toboe raised his eyes to the sky in thought. "Well…"

"Jasmine and salt," Kiba replied easily. "Like it was grown in the sea." [1]

With a flash of recognition, Atra murmured, "Oh."

"Oh?" Tsume encouraged.

"It's your lucky day, boys," she said, a bitter note edging her words. "Follow me."

Atra led them to the top of a snowcapped hill. Down below, a concrete road stretched out across a cold sea. She waited patiently for the boys to join her at the peak. Tsume frowned at the sight; how the road disappeared into a thick fog. "What is this?"

"It leads to a city of wolves."

The boys started, looking to her with wide eyes. "Wolves?" Tsume repeated.

"Of a kind."

Kiba stared at the bridge, squinting into the wind, before looking to Atra. "The city you were headed for."

She nodded. "My sister's there. I've been tracking the crew that brought her here for months. The last time I got close, I noticed something strange about their scent." She looked meaningfully to Kiba. "A touch of something floral. Jasmine grown in the sea."

They climbed down the hill to the mouth of the bridge, the boys sniffing against the cold wind to investigate. It was wider than it had seemed from the hilltop, the remnants of train tracks peeking out from beneath the fresh blanket of snow. Atra watched them from up ahead, looking over her shoulder periodically to make sure no one was coming down the other way. After a few moments of walking, Kiba stopped and lifted his head. "It's faint, but it's there. The scent of lunar flowers." Atra nodded, gesturing at them to follow before breaking into a run.

As if discouraging them, the wind pressed flush against them, flakes of snow flying into their fur as they ran the length of the tracks. They grit their teeth and pressed forward, running for what must have been an hour or more before the shadow of a city appeared in the distance. As they neared the entrance, that pleasant floral scent was replaced by a rancid stench. Atra skidded to a stop. The boys followed suit.

"What's up?" Hige panted, looking to her. "Aren't we going in?"

Atra nodded, looking to them. She'd changed during the run, her curious and open expression replaced with a grim focus. "We're splitting up here."

"What do you mean?" Toboe asked, frowning.

"Makes no sense for you to stick with me," Atra explained. Seeing Toboe's concerned expression, she smiled gently. "We're looking for different things. So we should probably part ways."

"Are you sure? We can help." Hige offered, only for Atra to take a step back with a shake of her head.

"No. I'll go in first. You be careful. These wolves," She trailed off, her eyes resting on Toboe. "They're not like you."

Kiba nodded. "We will."

Atra looked at him for a moment, struggling to find the words. She settled on, "Thank you. I wouldn't have made it here if you hadn't found me." Kiba stared before nodding awkwardly once more. The corner of Atra's mouth twitched. "Maybe I'll see you all on the other side." She smiled before turning on her heel to run towards the city gates.

When she was out of earshot, Toboe turned to the rest of the pack. "We're really going to let her go?"

"You can't force someone to accept help they don't want," Hige said with a disappointed shrug. "She was nice though. Cute."

"Stubborn. Bit of a loner, if you ask me." Tsume added before cutting his eyes at Kiba. "She remind you of someone?"

Kiba glared at him before looking back to the cityscape, its buildings jutting into the sky like teeth. He remembered Atra's warnings—these wolves, they're not like you—and thought about how strange it was that she hadn't said "us."

Atra walked cautiously through the city, the sun hanging heavy above the horizon. She observed her surroundings, eyes passing over the decrepit buildings and those that lived in them. The humans, Atra noticed, peered out at her from behind the curtains. The wolves were relegated to alleyways, dark scowls on their faces. They knew what she was. It would only be a matter of time before she was approached.

She walked towards the docks, the salty air mellowing the stench of garbage and sweat. Fog was beginning to creep in, the piers empty. She peered down into the water and saw sludge on the rocks; strange clumps of trash that might have had form, once upon a time, before falling into this rotten sea.

"You're a new face around these parts." Atra turned to see a wolf in disguise, hair falling to her shoulders and golden eyes, soft and kind. The wolf stepped closer. "I'm Cole."

"Nice to meet you," Atra said, taking in the details of Cole's appearance. Her human guise had beautiful hands, soft and clean. Well-fed, if lean. No scars to speak of. She was beautiful, as a wolf or a human, and had an ease about her that made it seem as if she hadn't done a day's work in her life. Atra tensed slightly, knowing this was it. This was who she was looking for. Hastily, she introduced herself. "I'm Atra."

Cole was observing Atra, too. After a few moments, she spoke again, her voice low. "You look familiar."

Atra nodded. Carefully, she said, "I'm looking for someone. My sister, Kuri."

"Kuri," Cole repeated, a spark of recognition lighting her eyes. Atra was surprised to something else shining through the woman's calm expression. Relief. Maybe even hope. "I see."

Atra nodded, looking behind Cole to the warehouses, dark and looming. "I was told I could find work here."

Cole stared at her before her expression melted into one of sad understanding. She bowed her head. "Well, you've come to the right place."

NOTES:

[1] The flower that lunar flowers are based on (night blooming cereus) actually smell closer to gardenia than jasmine. But jasmine is often used to replicate the scent of gardenias in perfume, so it's close enough. As for the bit of salt, that's a little nod to the relationship between the moon and the tides. Little bit of earth, little bit of sea.