A man slowly open his eyes to find himself adrift in the emptiness of space." What the hell ? . Where the fuck am I ?, is this lucid dreaming ?, it feels a bit too real ". He looked down at his hands " Wait, green skin. The fuck ?! "
' Who are you? ' a familiar anime character asked.
" Wait. Cell ?, Perfect Cell ?" I realized who the voice is." Are you in my head? "
' Yes. How do you know my name and why are you in my body? ' Perfect cell asked.
" I honestly have no idea. All I remember is drinking a nice glass of whiskey watching a movie and falling asleep. Thought you had some answers. And how I know you, well let's just say I've been watching and I have to say I'm a big fan of your work " I answered.
' Why thank you. But I still like to have my body please '
" I don't know how to but can you catch me up I don't know where we are? "
' Tsk... Dammit. Well, as I was unleashing my kamikaze attack. Kakarot transported me to a small planet. Abnormally small '
" So King Kai Huh. So we're in that phase ". I looked deep in thought ' Damn it. Why am I here. I mean the only Dragon Ball I watched was DBZA. Even though they told me to support the official release I never watched a single DBZ episode and Super. Wait don't lose hope, for all in know I'm stuck in the abridged version ' I cheered.
' What is DBZ, DBZA, Super and this abridged version? ' Perfect Cell asked.
" Wait, you can hear my thoughts "
' Yes '
" Let's just say one's better the other worse. um question. P is for ? "
' ... Perfect? '
" FUCKING DAMNIT I'M STUCK IN DBZ!! ". I yelled in realization. " Dammit damnit damnit damnit damnit!!! "
' If you're done throwing a tantrum. I would like to finish what I started '
" Shit, OK. The Cell Games, How the hell are we going to get there?
' Luckily I managed to learn Goku's instant transmission technique but it's a pity we don't share memories. looks like we have to fly there ' Perfect Cell answered.
" Wait let me try something " I hold to finger to my forehead.
' What are you - '.
Suddenly Perfect Cell memories flooded into my-our head. Everything, from the time of creation to now. Every beatdown, punch, kick and person. But more importantly. Every Technique.
' What!!... How?! '. He asked as I performed simple techniques to complex one's. He realized I looked into his memories.
" Well I just tried to remember, it is your body dude. " I answered.
' Then why can't I looked into your memories? '
" Because I don't have a body. I think my soul is in your body "
' Such embarrassment. To have my perfect body invaded by such a pathetic human '
" First off, phrasing. Second, hey I don't insult you for literally absorbing people through your tail which I'm convinced is your asshole "
' Can we just get to Earth already? '
" Fine " I performed the instant transmission and we immediately arrived outside Earth's orbit. I sensed a group of strong Ki's and immediately deducted that that's where the Z-Fighters are. While I did wanted to unleash an orbital strike, I smirked at the chance presented in front me to relive a scene in DBZA but with my twist.
' Let's pay them a visit ' Perfect Cell said.
" Of course. But I want to do it..' My way ' " I laugh at my own personal joke.
' Sure '
As I slowly descended, I unleash a devastating Ki that made the hill crumble and the winds rage.
" ~ P is Priceless, the look upon your faces .
E Is for Extinction on all you puny races.
R for Revolution, which has been televised.
F is for how Fucked you are, now allow me to reprise.
The look of terror on the Z-Fighters brought a smile on my face, appeasing my sadistic side.
E is for Eccentric, just listen to my song.
C is for Completion, which I waited for so long.
T is for the Terror upon you I'll bestow ~"
I chuckled, A wave of satisfaction washed on my body. " My name is Perfect Cell " I pointed a Ki blast at both Vegeta and Trunks killing them both and learning from Perfect Cell mistake." And I like to say... Hello ".
' Wow. Were you a Showman because that was impressive '.
" The show's not done yet " I looked at Gohan trembling from the lose of his two allies and finding out his enemy is still alive. " So Gohan. Ready for round 2 "
Gohan was trembling from the rage for Cell " You... You.. AHHH " Gohan yelled as he charged his Ki for the signature Kamehameha.
I also began to charge up my Kamehameha wave. We both unleash at the same time and both held equal footing but it was obvious Gohan was losing as he was drained of energy.
The other Z-Fighters regained their will at launch a barrage of attacks but it didn't faze me, the closest being Piccolo but it wasn't enough. Gohan's blast was weakening and I also match his intensity.
When the blast stopped, Gohan collapse. There was only a crater to mark where our standoff was. I slowly walked to the collapse Gohan." Aww, he's all tuckered out " I mock.
" Just kill me " Gohan gritted.
" Whoa, you know if it was the other guy I immediately comply but you know I want you to live " I said which alarmed everybody.
" What? " Gohan ask
' What? ' Perfect Cell asked
" WHAT?!! " The rest of the Z-Fighters yelled.
" I'm dissapointed no one said Nani but like I said I want to let you live because you and the rest of the Saiyans can bring me a challenge. I honestly didn't think this through. I mean what would happen if I killed you ?. Floating adrift in space blue balled from the lack of excitement, no, no, no. I realized that Earth is home to a plethora of fighters and also a magnet that attracts trouble. I mean it's barely a decade and you fought Saiyans, tyrannical space emperors and we'll... Me."
' You're right I didn't think of that. But why can we just rule the planet and terrorize it's people '
' Ehh, to much of a hassle besides I'm a hedonist. I only live for pleasure and doing the things I enjoy and live in the moment. Plus I'm more of a planet guy myself' I answered.
" So with that said let's end this game and dub me as the first winner of The Cell Games. While the prize was the fate of the planet I'm gonna add a wish from the Dragon Ball."
" No, You can't " Gohan yelled.
" Don't worry Gohan I won't do anything bad " I looked at the Z-Fighters " Now take me to the Dragon Balls, you'll know what happens if you don't " I threatened.
The Z-Fighters reluctantly led me to Kami's Lookout some were carrying the corpses. Bulma noticed the incoming Z-Fighters but not me." Hey guys did you manage to beat Cell ".
" No " Cell's perfect deep voice silence everyone as I chuckled." I'm happy to announce the first winner of The Cell Games is your dashing host, Perfect Cell. It was a great game. So great in fact I decided to spare the earth and at last minute edit the prize not only is to decide the world's fate but also a wish from the Dragon Ball." I then greeted the rest of the cast. " Why hello Bulma how motherhood going, Oh and Dende or is it Kami Dende, I don't know which. And if it isn't the housekeeper, The Genie Mr. Popo. Maybe I should be glad this isn't the Abridged version else Mr. Popo burn me out of existence. And how could I forget cute baby Trunks ". Bulma held her baby more tightly." Whoa there don't choke the baby I was only giving a compliment.
This time Dende interrupted and asked to clenched teeth " What... Do you want ?"
I looked at Dende and realized " Ah yes. sorry I was distracted there. The Dragon Balls please and like I said. " I lowered my gaze and drop my smile. My voice lost all the cheerful tone and was replaced with a serious and sadistic tone." You don't have a choice ".
Dende quickly gathered the Dragon Balls and said the password. " Eternal Dragon grant our wish ".
The sky blackened with thunder drowning any sound the wind blew hard as the mighty Dragon rise up." I am the Eternal Dragon Dragon state you're two wishes and I will grant."
Everyone was nervous and fearful of my wish as I slowly walked forward. " Thank you Dende ". I was now in front of the Dragon " Two wishes Huh, alright. I, Perfect Cell wish for everyone including my Cell Jr's to be revived."
" Your wish has been granted ".The others were surprised at my choice but we're to preoccupied as their fallen comrades rises up and Goku was transported here.
Goku was confused but immediately had his guard up when he noticed Cell " Relax, it was all a bit of fun, where your sense of humour "
This time Vegeta yelled " YOU KILLED US ALL AND YOUR EXPECTING US TO BE KIND AFTER WHAT YOU DID ?!! ".
I chuckled " Oh Vegeta. Just like your mother, I accept all comers but I recommend not now after all I have some wishing to do "
" Daddy? " A small voice called. I turned around to the Cell Jr's." Ah kids, welcome back. Everyone, I would like to reintroduce my spawn. Norio, Dameon, Travis, Curtis, Dale, Jonathan and as gratitude for helping me reach my Perfect Form, Vegeta Jr. " Vegeta growl in anger as his name was used for a monster.
" You know what, I'm feeling merciful. Who's got a wish ?. Anybody ? "
Krillin asked Cell. " Uhm Cell-".
" Mr. Perfect Cell " I corrected with a stern voice.
" Mr. Perfect Cell. Could you wish 17 and 18 to be human again? "
I tilt my head in amusement. " Sure, why not. Eternal Dragon make Android 17 and 18 human again ".
" I cannot grant that wish " Shenron stated.
" You can revive people but you can't turn androids to humans. Whatever, Krillin you heard the magical dragon. You know what, I wish for their bombs to be removed, a waste of a perfectly good wish but I did asked "
" Your wish has been granted ".
18 Woke up and jumped at the sight of Cell " No. Cell you won't absorb me " She pressed her chest and was surprised to find nothing happened, thinking it just malfunction she pressed her chest harder.
" 18 I know you're legal but please keep it in your pants women " I quipped. A few chuckles could but Vegeta laugh loudly. " Now Goku, since I have revive you please don't squander this second chance. I may be leaving the planet but I will come back for a Second Cell Games and if I win ". I lightly chuckled. " I'll actually finished what Vegeta couldn't ".
I then turned to the Cell Jr's." Kids hold hands we're meeting grandpa. Wave goodbye kids " The kids wave goodbye as Perfect Cell teleported somewhere.
Now left alone. Yamcha asked " Wait they're meeting grandpa? " but got no answer.
[ Outside Gero's Hideout ]
Cell and the Cell Jr's teleported outside of Gero's hideout
" Wait here, Daddy needs to meet someone ". I said to the kids. The Kids held their thumbs up. As I walked to Gero's hideout a voice pop in my head.
' Why and how do you know If his even there '. The original owner asked.
" Well, this is where he died and I just want to meet. So do you have anything to say to him "
' No and I don't understand why you didn't at least kill a few of those pest '.
" Ehh. Fuck it, let them enjoy life, I wasn't kidding when I said I was gonna blow up the planet if they failed to meet my expectations " I maliciously laugh.
" You are an enigma and if you can sense Ki, Why can't you teleport there " Perfect Cell point out.
" Because... I didn't think of that ".
I teleport there and found Gero among the rubble. He notice me and greeted me " Ah Cell my perfect creation, thank you for reviving me. I assume you've killed off Son Goku ".
" No. It appears the Saiyan in me couldn't resist a challenge ". I answered.
" Hmm. Pitiful, even my perfect creation can't finish of a simpleton, just another failure "
' WHAT DID HE SAY, I WILL SHOW YOU FAILURE YOU RUSTING CYBORG!! ' Perfect Cell's rage was so big it also affected me as I instinctively clenched my fists but I laughed and continue to laugh harder.
Gero notice my laughing. " What's so humourous ?"
I answered." You know, I did kill Goku but 16 or whatever your son's name is, won't come back ". I sadistically smiled.
Gero was silent for a while but answered calmly " Of course he won't come, he is dead ".
" You know, You really upped your game after The Red Ribbon collapse "
" Of course. We were so close to world domination and Son Goku destroyed our facilities "
" Sure but why Goku. The androids were already strong enough to topple anyone who opposed you. And yet you sat around waiting your enemies to grow stronger. What were you to busy building another son ". Before I could continue Dr. Gero yelled.
" DON'T YOU DARE INSINUATE MY SON IS CHEAP REPLACEABLE MACHINE UNLIKE YOU ". Dr. Gero was trembling in anger. " He was my son. He was my son and Son Goku took him away ". Tears were bow falling from his face as he held his head low.
' Wait, Goku killed his Son. I thought that was in the abridged version, Didn't he supposed to die with... A bullet something, I don't know, I knew I should've supported the original release ' I then walked beside Gero and said the words he needed." Retire old man "
" What? " He asked
" Take a rest and enjoy life while you still have it, I know you're more machine than man but you are just rotting away and you don't even know it ". I advised.
" But Son Goku- "
" Isn't going anywhere, and even if you did manage to kill him. Dragon Balls ". I answered." Just let it go, I'm sure that your son wanted you to live instead of chasing something that'll probably never happen. So please Dr. Gero. let it go ".
Dr. Gero though deeply about the prospect of letting go his hatred before realizing it for the best. " Yes you're right. Thank you Perfect Cell ". We both stand in silence not knowing how to continue until Gero broke the Ice." So what will you now Perfect Cell? "
I chuckled " I'm glad you asked. I'm thinking of an interstellar roadtrip. Maybe picking up a hobby along the way "
Gero wholeheartedly laugh. " Well, I wish you luck in your endeavors "
" And so do I. Kids say goodbye to grandpa ". The Cell Jr's flew to meet their grandfather and wave at him goodbye." Well goodbye... Father ". I solemnly said
As Me and the Cell Jr's flew out of earth's orbit. I said goodbye for now to this green and blue rock and thinking of all the soon to be adventures and soon to be threats." Seven years is a long time, I wonder what I should do... Fuck it, some training will do
AN - It's me with a new story. I'm not dead, surprisingly.
This story was dedicated to the greatest villain of all time Perfect Cell which if you hadn't guess is my favorite.
The character controlling Cell's body isn't a morally strong character his more of a grey area and From the title. He's a hedonist. I don't want to make cell a good guy or at least typical righteous heroes. Maybe they will be good but it's gonna take a long time and a lot of convincing
And don't worry there will be more Perfect Cell as he banter with his unexpected hijacker.
Please tell me what you think and maybe I'll make a new chapter.