Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.
Winston Churchill
"Did you see that fish?! It was so pretty, like a little rainbow," Sera said as she peered over the side of the dinghy that she was paddling alongside her older sister. It was a lovely day out, and the sisters were spending some much needed time together. The water curled around the paddles and gently lapped against the boat with a pleasing sound. It was high summer and the sun's rays warmed the air around them.
Ellie tossed her black hair off to one side and scrunched up her face. "Ugh, Sera, don't do that! I'm gonna barf if you keep rocking the boat like this. This was a bad idea. I knew I shouldn't be out on the water today."
Sitting up, Sera looked over at her sister and worriedly asked, "Are you okay? I didn't mean to upset your stomach. Maybe you're right. We should go back; there's a lot to do anyways."
"It's okay," Ellie replied as she shot Sera a smile. "It's not your fault. It's just me being pregnant, that's all. Morning sickness sucks, that much I can tell you. But yeah, we have a lot to do. Reaping Day tomorrow and all."
Sera fell silent as she thought about the big day coming up. It was always a worrisome time - anyone could be chosen. It was Ellie's last year to be reaped, then after that, she only had herself to worry about for one more year. She thought the chances of either of them unlikely, seeing as their mother was a Victor. But it could always happen. Glancing over at Ellie's still flat stomach, she sighed. Her sister had been quiet on the whole matter. At least she was keeping the kid. Their mother had been… well, she hadn't been too upset about the pregnancy out of wedlock, but she had been upset that Ellie had rejected Quinn. "Ellie? Tell me again… just because you haven't said a lot about it, but why didn't you want Quinn around as the dad?"
Ellie pulled her paddle into the dinghy and placed it neatly at her feet, letting Sera steer them in to the waiting dock. She placed a hand on her stomach and sighed. "Sorry to cut things short. I just don't feel well." She paused to check their direction before saying, "He just… he's not mature enough to be a dad. I know this. Sure, I've had to grow up quickly too, but he's not serious about this. About us. He thinks he can just goof off or pretend this isn't happening. So no, that's not the kind of guy I need around me. But I have you and Mom to support me. I'm carrying a precious life inside me, and that's fucking scary and amazing at the same time."
The boat bumped against the dock, making Ellie retch a bit, but strong hands reached down for her and helped her up to the dock. A curt voice cut through the air. "About time you girls got back. You know we need the boats all shored up and pretty-like for tomorrow."
"Sorry," Sera replied to the silver haired man. "We should have gone earlier, or not at all." Grabbing Ellie's hand, she walked back to the Victor's Village. The usual bustle of District Four was amplified this morning as people darted about with the preparations. The girls managed to stay out of the way but avoided the town Square. Ellie thought it was bad luck to go there before the reaping. The breeze blew their black hair back behind them, and their sun kissed skin gleamed in the brightness of the day. "You feeling better?" Sera asked as they finally reached their mother's home.
"Yeah, I do, now that I'm not bobbing up and down like a cork. It's too bad though. I was really looking forward to spending extra time with my sister. We've both been so busy with training and getting the fish in. And what if it's the last time we get to do this?" Ellie looked away, not wishing to meet Sera's face.
Shaking her head, Sera lightly snapped, "Don't say that! Don't! I couldn't bear thinking about that. We'll get to do this many more times! You hear me?"
Ellie reached for her sister and the two of them shared a hug as she whispered in Sera's ear, "I hear you. I hear you. You're gonna be the best aunt ever and I'm so lucky to have you and Mom with me."
At last, Sera pulled away and looked at Ellie's stomach. It was still strange to think of it, being an aunt. At the same time, it was so exciting. Sure, the circumstances weren't the most ideal. How many times had the two of them talked over dreams of getting married and having a family one day? What the man of their dreams might look like? Her sister was a strong woman, that much she knew. They'd get through whatever the future would bring. She only hoped that she'd be just as strong as Ellie one day.
Dinner with the family was quiet that night. Isabelle looked at her two daughters. Her face look tired but her voice was undaunted. "Seraphina, Ellenore. You've trained well this past year. I have taught you so much. Ellie, your training has been on point this year. We've kept the secret of your pregnancy. I think we can keep it a bit longer if you are still wishing to do that."
Blowing out a breath, Ellie replied, "I think so, Mom. I mean, just until tomorrow at least. After everything is… over. I mean…"
Sera knew what she meant. If Ellie wasn't reaped, then it would be safe to come out with the news. After tomorrow, Ellie would never be in the reaping pool again, and she would be free to raise her baby and deal with life in District Four. It was a good decision, and she agreed wholeheartedly. Best to keep that secret from Snow for now.
Turning to her other daughter, Isabelle didn't smile as she soberly said, "Sera. You're not as strong with your Games training, but you're smart. You're not as quick as the others. That's not necessarily a bad thing. But if you're chosen, you need to remember all your Career training."
"But I'm not a Career!" Sera hadn't meant to blurt that out, but it was true. She never considered herself as a Career. It was Ellie who was the true Career girl. Ellie was the one who was always at the training centre. Sera had to be dragged there and made to go through the motions. It was so frustrating; everyone else seemed to be a better fighter. They were faster. They punched harder. They seemed to enjoy it. She wasn't a Career. She'd much rather go out in the boats and help with the fishing. Nothing pleased her better than to sit on the deck of the boats, letting the sun make her tanned skin even browner, and mend the nets. She liked making the knots over and over; it settled her in her brain. It was something they had all learned to do as children, but Sera was better at it than Ellie. So that was something.
She turned her attention back to her mother as Isabelle spoke firmly, "I know it's not your thing, Sera. I'm just saying I want you safe, if it happens. You still have one more year after this Reaping. Then after that, I won't have to worry about it anymore, other than keeping Snow off my back as much as I can. I don't want him to use either of you girls. You're my family." Isabelle reached for her glass and took a deep sip.
"Mom?" Ellie raised her eyebrows at her mother. "You're not drinking again, are you?"
Scoffing, Isabelle merely replied, "Just a little for the nerves. That's all."
Sighing to herself, Sera kept her eyes on her mother. She hoped it was just a "little" as her mom had put it. There were days when her mother would be totally out of it, lost in the nightmares of her Games. That's when she drank most, but thankfully she wasn't too bad for most of the year. It was just during the Games or the Victory tours that triggered her mom most, but Isabelle had been trying to kick the habit for the sake of her daughters. Mags had her basket weaving. Finnick could sit and do knots for hours. It was a coping mechanism, Sera knew. A thought flitted into her head: what if she or Ellie did get reaped? What coping mechanism would they use when they got back?
That night, Sera slept over in Ellie's bed. It had become a tradition since Ellie's first Reaping. There was always that little "what if we never get to do this again" even if no one said it. They snuggled together without saying much and fell into a restless sleep.
The day dawned bright and fair, just the kind of day the Capitol liked to have for their television. The morning was rushed as everyone made sure the last minute preparations were done before going to the town square to see the large television. The Reaping started in District 12 first, so Sera could take her time getting to the square. They might have watched it at home, but a Victor was expected to be out and mingling, as much as Isabelle hated that. And that also meant her two daughters were expected to join her.
Caesar was already jabbering about something or other and Sera was amused to see that this year's colour was purple. Actually, it looked pretty good on him, much better than that hideous orange from last year. Twelve's tributes looked okay; the boy looked like someone to watch out for but Twelve was Twelve. The poorest district. Eleven was just as uneventful, and Sera started to get bored waiting for District's Four's turn.
She had just been thinking that when a stream of cursing erupted from the television. Sera looked up in surprise as the boy tribute from 10 gave the guards a bit of trouble. A temper on that one. Not good. But maybe it would be fine actually. The hot tempered ones often were overconfident and eliminated early. Too bad the girl tribute was so young, a twelve year old. Sera gave no more thought to the incident since the guards seemed to get things under control and the cameras moved on.
District after district reaped their tributes and Sera bit her lip when the train pulled up to the square. Their turn at last. She looked at her mother, standing tall and proud looking. Good she didn't look drunk, though she did hold her liquor pretty well. However, no one could hold a candle to Haymitch. That man seemed perpetually drunk. Sera couldn't understand how he and Isabelle were close friends, but they were.
At last they were all ready and Effie stood on the stage. The crowd gathered around somberly. DIstrict Four technically was a Career district, and they were based on ranks. The boys stood apart from the girls and Sera wrapped her hand in her sister's for encouragement. She glanced over at the boys' section and looked them all over. She knew there might be some volunteers if they didn't like who was chosen for the Games. But if the tribute was among the three or four ranked best, then there would be no volunteers. Sera sighed, knowing she wasn't among them. But Ellie was.
Effie Trinket's fake voice grated harshly on Sera's ears. She had a name in her hand and she smiled at girls got reaped first and Sera thought that, other than Ellie, the best girl would be the big broad shouldered Lacey. She was a tough girl, someone not to be underestimated. But that wasn't the name drawn.
"Our District Four girl tribute is… Eleanor Lucas!"
The breath left Sera's lungs as she felt her sister stiffen beside her. Ellie had a grim expression on her face and strode up to the stage without a word and stood alone, facing the crowd. No. This couldn't be happening! Anyone but Ellie! And what about -
"Our District four male tribute is… Leviathan Moreno! Come on up on stage!"
Sera snorted but otherwise didn't say anything. So it was Levi. It was a good choice and people were pleased. Levi was top ranked in the boys in their district.. Mean, perhaps, but a force to be reckoned with. He looked proud as punch too to be standing there next to Effie and he smirked over at Ellie. It was that hateful look on his face that killed Sera.
"Wonderful! Just wonderful!: Efffie exclaimed in that horrendous excited voice. "Now are there any volunteers that would like to take the place of these tributes?"
Quick as a wink, Sera raised her hand before anyone else could blink. "I will! I will volunteer as tribute!"