It had been a grueling seven months for Connie Britton. She had moved to Nashville with her recently adopted son Yoby and then spent a lot of nights wondering if she'd taken on too much. The role of Rayna Jaymes was one of, if not the most, challenging roles of her career. And she had no friends when she came to Nashville. She'd felt vulnerable and lonely in the beginning, but as she settled in, some, if not all, of her life started to settle in as well. She made friends – some of whom were new moms and moms of young children as well – and started to develop a group of women friends she could depend on. Yoby was mobile and she was beginning to feel more comfortable in her role as a mom. The work had been exhilarating in many ways, but there were long hours and that pesky anxiety over singing to overcome. But she'd had supportive help there as well. Still she was happy to be home in LA for a bit, not having to think about early mornings and late nights on set. Then she got some news that changed every single thing about her life up to that point.

A/N: This is something a little different that I wanted to try. Let me know what you think.

Connie

It was the Thursday before Christmas and she had barely been able to get out of bed, for the third day in a row. Her body ached and she felt exhausted, even though she'd slept through the night. She felt a touch of nausea and wondered if it had been something she'd eaten the night before. Food at the holidays was almost always richer than she typically ate. It wasn't surprising, after a meal filled with all the things she normally didn't eat, for her to feel a little sick to her stomach. Maybe it was that cheese plate. Or probably that beef tenderloin. She hadn't eaten much, but it was a friends' specialty and she hated not to have at least a little. She was trying to eat clean these days, so usually stayed away from that.

Or maybe it was the fact that she'd only seen Chip twice while they were both in LA for the holidays. She had felt like a teenager, the way she had turned that over and over in her head as each day passed. She knew she had no right to expect him to take time away from his family, especially during the holidays. He had told her, before they left Nashville, that it might be hard to get away as much as he wanted. She had told him she understood, that his family was paramount at the holidays. And yet, she had still been disappointed. Crying over a man was so not her style, but there she was, doing it anyway. She'd cried herself to sleep more times than she cared to count. The phone calls and texts just weren't enough. A wave of nausea rolled over her. She ran to the bathroom and tried to puke, but nothing was there.

The next day, her friend Carla suggested she go get it checked out. "We're going to Mexico in a week. I'd hate for you to be sick for that."

She made a face. She didn't want to miss her annual trip to Mexico with her girlfriends. "No, that wouldn't be good." She sighed. "I don't know. I actually do feel better already. The nausea seems to have gone away, so I'm pretty sure it was food. Don't you think it'll just, I don't know, run its course?"

Carla shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. Just get it checked out. It could be the flu or something. Couldn't hurt." She laughed. "At least you know you're not pregnant," she teased. "That's the only other thing it sounds like."

She felt a cold chill run up her spine. It can't be that. it's impossible. She breathed in and out. Of course not, that's absurd. She quickly thought about how long it had been since she'd had a period, but she'd always been irregular and she was even more so now. She made herself laugh. "Well, I know it couldn't possibly be that then." They laughed together. Just to be safe though, she called her doctor's office the next day and, as luck would have it, her doctor could see her the day after Christmas.

When she woke up the day after Christmas, she felt fine, had felt completely fine the entire weekend, in fact, but decided it couldn't hurt to keep the appointment. Just to be certain. Yet what Carla had said still was in the back of her mind. As she showered and got dressed, she tried to put aside any thought that what she had been feeling was anything else but the tail end of the flu. She and her girlfriends were headed to Mexico in just a few days and she wanted to be able to enjoy that. She got Yoby up and dressed and fed. She was too nervous to eat, so she just drank some tea. She focused on her son, chatting with him in the car, even though his vocabulary was still limited. He was a good listener and babbled happily in response to anything she said. By the time she got to the doctor's office, she was feeling much better about everything.

When she pulled into her driveway, she realized she had no memory of leaving the doctor's office or driving home. She remembered pulling into a fast food place and picking up a sandwich for Yoby, because the box was still in the car. She grabbed the box and Yoby and walked inside. She took her son upstairs and put him down for a nap and then she went in her bedroom, crawled up on her bed, and cried. She had no idea what she was going to do next. She wanted to talk to Chip, needed to talk to Chip, but wasn't even sure what she would say. He was part of her now – in more ways than one, as it turned out – and he'd become someone she couldn't imagine living without.

She rolled onto her back, thinking back to the first day on the set, when everyone got together for the first table read.

As she looked around the room, almost everyone at the table was young. Powers Boothe, who played her father, was older, as were a handful of others. She was anxious to meet her costar, though, the one who would play Rayna's former lover. Because of everything else going on in her life, she'd not yet met him. Callie had shown her pictures and she thought he looked handsome in a boyish kind of way. She knew nothing about him or any of his work. Callie had told her he was skewed a little more towards comedy, but that she thought he had the right look and he could play guitar and sing. She wasn't so sure of that, didn't think that boyish looking man could play the Deacon she had created in her head.

He was running late and she found herself getting a little irritated. She was always on time and it bothered her when others were not. This wasn't starting off on the right foot. She looked down at her script, tapping her fingers on the table in irritation. When the door opened, she looked up, and felt white hot heat shoot down to her core. If this was Charles Esten, he did not look like the photos Callie showed her. This man was gorgeously handsome, with scruff on his face, dressed in character, down to the boots. Her mouth went dry and she thought he had to be the sexiest man she'd seen in a very long time. This was Deacon Claybourne. This was the man that Rayna Jaymes would feel compelled to keep close. And this was a man who could be very dangerous, especially when she saw the way he looked at her.

He came and sat next to her and seemed alternately shy, engaging, and very funny. 'Call me Chip,' he'd said, in that voice that sounded like whiskey mixed with honey. She noticed he kept looking away from her anytime she turned towards him. As they started reading through the script, she was impressed with his command of the dialect of someone who probably didn't care much about the kind of life Rayna Jaymes lived in. On a break, he offered to get her coffee and then, when he came back, he looked at her a little sheepishly and said, "I can hardly believe I'm actually sitting here next to the great Connie freaking Britton." She stared at him for a second, then laughed out loud.

"Oh, I wouldn't go that far," she said, still laughing.

He smiled and it seemed to light up his face. His eyes crinkled at the outer edges and she could see that he still had a little of that boyish look he'd had in the pictures Callie had showed her. But he definitely had a sexiness to him that the man in the pictures did not, the kind that made her knees weak. She certainly understood why Rayna would still be in love with him. She felt herself shiver and her mouth went dry again. She was pretty sure if she'd put her hand between her legs she would have been completely wet. He leaned a little closer to her. "I told everyone that there were about a million reasons I was glad to get this show. And a couple hundred of them were you."

She could feel the heat on her face. She had butterflies in her stomach and her heart was beating hard. She'd never believed in love at first sight, but she knew that's what she was feeling. She told herself it was superficial, that all she was attracted to were his looks, but she knew, deep down inside, that was not the case. Since she knew he had a wife and family, she also knew she needed to tread carefully, skirt that fine line between friendship and something more. She smiled a little. "Well, that's sweet of you to say," she said.

"Oh, it's all true. I'm looking forward to learning from you," he said.

Her heart pounded so hard the rest of the day that she was surprised it didn't show. And the blood rushing to her head made it hard to concentrate. At the end of the day, they chatted briefly about the scenes they would play first and then made plans to spend some time together talking about Rayna and Deacon's back story before they started rehearsal.

They spent a lot of time together, mostly on set, as they started working, and, in between talking about story and mood and working through how they wanted to play a scene, they got to know each other better. She'd always had good relationships with her leading men and she didn't see why he'd be an exception. She was feeling more comfortable with him and the nerves and butterflies were calming down when she was around him. He talked to her about his family - although later she realized he'd mostly talked about his kids - and she had assumed he was happily married. She felt a sense of relief, because she did not intend to get involved with a married man. She also had no time for a relationship anyway. She shared with him some of her single parent struggles and he would listen compassionately and would offer advice occasionally, or his wisdom over the years, but mostly listen, something she really appreciated.

The third episode was a tricky one for their characters. There were two emotionally charged scenes, in the aftermath of the Bluebird performance in the previous episode. It was becoming increasingly obvious that Rayna and Deacon were still in love with each other, but not willing to admit it. Or at least Rayna was not. They had an uncomfortable scene, discussing their upcoming tour, full of subtext and a hint of the very deep connection the two characters had, even though they hadn't been together in more than a decade.

But the trickiest scene was one towards the end of the episode, sitting in a park, still talking in metaphors and circles about the very real dilemma they were facing. It was a highly emotional and deeply painful scene between the two. She was nervous about both of them, wanting to play them right, get the tone and the underlying emotions right. Their habit had quickly become to talk about the backstory of the characters, mostly their own version, which helped them decide how to play a scene. They were sitting on one of the sets, talking through their thoughts. And that's when the shift happened.

She sat up then, feeling restless. She brought her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. She loved him. Everything about their relationship was absolutely perfect and absolutely everything she wanted. Except that he was married. They had very tentatively talked about what the future might look like for them, but she was well aware that things could change. And now this. She sighed.

He had asked her that day if she wanted to run the lines and try different approaches. She had told him she wanted to, but she had to get home to Yoby. "Why don't I come by after he's in bed? I can bring some food. We can talk it through." It all sounded innocent enough, but she did hear warning bells in her head. She thought she had detected some kind of chemistry between the two of them, but told herself it was her imagination. He's happily married. She had told her girlfriends that, when they asked. He was really hot, but he was happily married. She was still wary, although she admitted to herself she wanted him to come over, and so she said yes.

When he came by, he brought Thai food because she had told him once that she loved it, they read through the lines, they talked through the mood and the emotions. They ran through the second scene again, trying to capture those emotions, especially towards the end of the scene, when Rayna basically told him how badly she was struggling. When she looked into his eyes, she saw something there, something she hadn't seen before, and her heart started to beat harder and faster. She breathed in slowly and then he leaned towards her and kissed her, gently at first. Then he pulled at her lip, putting his hand on her waist, pulling her closer. The voice inside her head was screaming at her to stop, but she couldn't.

The taste of his mouth was intoxicating, the feel of his tongue against her own was like a shot straight to her core. She was kissing him back then, her hands on his face, pulling him closer to her. She tugged on his mouth, unable to stop what she was doing. He was running his hands up her back and then, suddenly, he slid his hands down and under her ass, moving her onto her back. When he stretched out on top of her, she could feel his erection against her core and she moaned in the back of her throat, afraid she was going to come right then. He moved his hips slightly, so that he was rubbing against her. She drew her knees up slightly, which positioned him so that he fit right where she needed him to.

He tugged at her waistband and she thought she needed to push him away. This was dangerous territory. He slid his hand between the fabric and her skin and she shivered at the feel of his hand against her hip. He slid his hand down over her butt and she groaned. He took that to be acquiescence on her part – and it was – and he put his other hand under the waistband, hooking his thumbs over it and pushing down. She shifted her hips back and forth to help him and then, suddenly, her yoga pants and panties were down past her hips and finally on the floor. She could see then he wanted this as much as she did.

She took a deep breath and then waited. His lips were still pressing against hers and his tongue was dancing in her mouth. Everything sort of faded away until she realized his hand was sliding between them. She waited just seconds more, everything in her body tingling, and then she felt his finger enter her. She pulled her lips from his and arched her back, moaning out loud. He touched and teased, drawing his finger in and out, swirling it inside her until she found herself totally and completely swept up in what she was feeling. And then suddenly she realized he was entering her fully. She bucked up her hips and spread her legs wider, trying to take all of him inside her. She adjusted herself, moaning as she felt him moving deeper and deeper inside her. She moaned again and he kissed her neck, then her chin, her cheeks, her lips and nose, then her forehead. She was quivering inside and realized this was probably the most turned on she'd been in years.

"I've never felt anyone quite like you," he whispered. He was moving inside her and she thought she was going to die of it. She was so filled up. At one point she felt like she couldn't take him all in and then the thought of that overwhelmed her and she could feel the throbbing inside of her. She rubbed against him, then suddenly and unexpectedly, she came, so hard and wild she had stars in her eyes. When she felt him empty himself inside her, she came again, the little explosions all around her getting more intense until she really did think she might die of the amazingness of the two of them connected as one.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, planting little kisses on her nose, her cheeks, her shoulder. "That was amazing," she whispered at one point, her nerve endings tingling almost to the point that his touch was a mix of exquisite pain and fiery heat. She had wrapped her arms around his back and clutched his shoulders from behind. His kisses got more insistent and she felt herself responding to him again. His tongue filled her mouth again and she moaned a little.

He stopped and got up off of her. Is he leaving? Is he sorry we did this? Was this a mistake? Will things be awkward now? He looked down at her and she locked eyes with him. He reached out his hand for hers and helped her up. She slid on her pants and then looked at him questioningly. He breathed in deeply. "Can we continue this…?"

She smiled. "Upstairs?" He nodded. "I would love that." She took his hand then and led him up the stairs.

When they were at the door to her bedroom, he tugged on her hand and she turned back towards him. "Are you sure you want to do this? I know there's baggage and all that."

She felt like she couldn't breathe. Is he sorry? "We already have started it."

"Well, I know, but there's still time to stop it. I don't want you to feel like you can't say it was a mistake."

"I don't think it was a mistake, Chip. Do you?" He shook his head and she led him into her bedroom.

She tried to lay back down on the bed, but she was too wired. She could almost feel him inside of her, feel his fingers and hands on her flesh. She jumped out of bed and walked out of her bedroom and down the hall to Yoby's room. He was still asleep. She skipped down the stairs and walked around the kitchen and the den, rubbing her hands up and down her arms as though she was cold, even though she was not.

When he left that night, well after midnight, she sat in her den, her legs pulled up to her chest. Tears filled her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. It wasn't what she'd planned, but she had also known, from the moment she'd seen him that very first day, that he'd stolen her heart. She had sensed that he'd wanted her and it had scared her a little. He was married, with a family, and she couldn't see herself getting in the middle of that. And yet she had anyway. She had been uncharacteristically weak where he was concerned and she had understood, right from the beginning, that he had been swept away by the inevitability of it all as well. She tried not to think about it. it was the only way she could manage it, especially at first. The things they'd said to each other, though. Talk of love and soulmates and feeling like they fit together – two halves of a whole. He spent many nights with her. He nearly always came straight to her when he returned from a weekend in California. It was the happiest she'd felt in her life.

She would always tell herself she needed to end it, tell him they couldn't do this, but then, when they were together, she couldn't resist him. Had never been able to, in fact. He really was her soulmate, something she'd pooh pooh'ed for years, the idea of love at first sight and finding the person you were meant to be with. He told her he felt the same, and she believed him, because she had to.

It wasn't like she'd never had a crisis of conscience, because she had. Several times. The first time was right after that first night. She had told him she didn't think she could do it, that it was wrong, that she respected his commitment to his marriage and his family. He had looked disappointed, but told her he understood. For the next several days, every time she saw him, he would look sad and she felt herself waver. It had been a long time since she'd been with a man, since before she'd adopted Yoby. Being with Chip had made her remember how much she missed that. The closeness, the intimacy. He had set her body on fire and she had missed it. Missed him.

It was the day they filmed the scene after the country club performance. It was just a line or two, but it was fraught with all the weight of Deacon and Rayna's shared history. All the emotions and subtext they could no longer pretend wasn't there. Which us, Ray? Which us? The tears in her eyes were real, as she looked at him, waiting for his next line. And then I thought you needed me. She swallowed. I do need you.

He had been sitting at the front of the van as they headed back to the studio. As everyone started to disperse, she called out his name and he turned, waiting for her to catch up. "Can we talk?" she asked and he nodded. They made their way to his trailer and he followed her in. Her insides were crackling with electricity as she turned back to him. She couldn't make the words come out of her mouth, but he seemed to know, as he pulled her to him. When she felt his lips on hers, she grabbed at him, pulling him closer, as he wound his fingers in her hair. And almost before she knew it, he'd turned her around and, as she gripped the counter in front of the mirror on the wall, entered her swiftly. His hands were on hips as he thrust in and out, his mouth against her neck, then her shoulder. They both climaxed at almost the same time. He kissed her shoulder and then looked at her reflection in the mirror.

"I want you, Connie," he whispered. "I need you."

She ran her tongue over her lower lip and nodded. "I need you too," she murmured.

They had both had their moments of feeling unsure, guilty, conflicted. There had been little talk of his current situation or what would happen if or when his family moved to Nashville. In her mind, she was prepared for whatever the future might hold, but she also knew she could potentially be hurt and alone. They had talked about how they felt about each other and the desire to be together, but it was easier to say when he was on his own. She sighed. This is where the rubber would meet the road. This is where she'd find out where things really stood.

She couldn't sit still any longer. She really needed to talk to him. She jumped up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. She picked up her phone and tapped out a text.

I hate to interfere with your last bit of time with your family, but would you have some time for us to get together in the next day or so?

Chip

He was at a vintage guitar shop in West Hollywood. It had been a stroke of luck for him to get hired for the new show Nashville. After his auditions, he had prayed nightly for the opportunity. The role of Deacon Claybourne was a meaty dramatic role, a departure from the mostly comedic roles he'd had. It was a lead role as well, a first for him. When he finally got the call that he'd won the part, he was overjoyed. He got to do the two things he loved most, acting and making music. He'd done some writing, performed for his family and friends mostly, and he'd showed off his ability to make up a song on the fly on the various Whose Line Is It Anyway programs, but he'd be on a much bigger stage with this show about country music.

What he was most excited about though, was to be working with Connie Britton. Connie FREAKING Britton. He'd had a giant crush on her from her days on Friday Night Lights. Truthfully, it was more than a crush. He'd fallen in love, at least as much as you could fall in love with someone you'd never met. So, as excited as he was, he had also been a ball of nerves. He would be playing her character's former lover, possibly father of her oldest child, and still carrying a torch for her. He was on board with all of that.

He had moved to Nashville on his own for the first season. The plan would be to bring his family if they were renewed for a second season. He had also been excited about just being in Nashville, the home of country music. And though he missed his kids tremendously, he had enjoyed everything about feeling a certain level of freedom without the responsibilities. It had been more than even he could have imagined. He'd already met people in the music community, been able to sit alongside some of the best songwriters and musicians in the business. He'd even gotten to debut on the Grand Ole Opry, one of the highlights of his life.

The best thing about Nashville though, both the city and the show, had been the opportunity to work with Connie Britton. As in awe of her as he was, he learned quickly that she was down-to-earth, fun, and desperate for the company of people her own age. She taught him a lot about acting and they spent a lot of time together on set, because of the connection of their characters. And they quickly became good friends. Very good friends. And soon after, a lot more than that.

His stomach had been in a knot when he stood on her porch, with a bag of Thai food and his script, waiting for her to answer the door. He'd surprised himself by inviting himself over and then was surprised all over again when she accepted, without any pause. One of the great things about being in Nashville without his family was that he could really just do a deep dive into the show and the character and the relationships, without any other concerns.

He had also been itching to explore the possibility that she might be as interested in him as he was in her. The looks she gave him, the way she put her hand on his arm or his hand and then kept it there a little too long. She would squeeze his forearm and give him a little smile. She'd brush against him during rehearsals or even a scene, when it wasn't called for. And she seemed to really depend on him – as a scene partner, as a friend. Maybe as something else. He'd lost count of the number of times he'd gone back to his apartment after spending time on set with her and had to jerk off all alone.

So when she opened the door that night and her eyes lit up when she saw him, he was pretty sure she had the same feelings he did. He just wasn't sure how to find out for sure.

It happened when they were working through the second scene. Her line was something about holding hearts in her hands and then talking about how nothing felt right to her. She looked at him and he saw something. He couldn't have named it and he couldn't explain why he knew, at just that moment, that she wanted him to make a move. He'd never thought he would be the kind of person who cheated, but it didn't feel like that. It felt more like falling into the place where he needed to be, where she needed to be. There was a force between the two of them that was bigger than either of them. He knew she was who he'd been waiting for and then he found himself kissing her. She was kissing him back and then putting her hands on his face, and he was lost. Everything that happened afterwards just felt like it was meant to be.

His conscience had gotten to him a time or two and it certainly had for her as well. There was the time he'd gone to LA for the weekend and he was really struck by all he would miss without his family. He'd been there for Taylor's soccer match, happy to be able to cheer her on. He'd had a longer weekend than normal, so was able to go to teacher's night at Addie's school with Patty. The family had hiked in the mountains together, had a fun night at a neighborhood block party and cheered on the Steelers together. It had given him pause, made him wonder if he was just being selfish where Connie was concerned.

His time with her had been glorious and it still amazed him that he was actually in a relationship with her. He loved her, truly loved her. But he also wasn't sure what he could offer to her. He had such mixed feelings about the whole idea of leaving his family, upending everyone's lives. He understood the conflict he knew Connie felt, because he felt it too. He'd taken vows, had a family with Patty, never thought they wouldn't be together forever. Even if the bloom was off the rose of the marriage and the love had faded, he knew he was lucky to have a supportive wife and children. It had been a leap of faith for them to have let him go to Nashville without them, and he was ever mindful of that.

He breathed in deeply. Connie Britton was the best thing that had ever happened to him and each time they were together, he'd known the day would come when he couldn't be without her all the time. It felt a little like there would be some kind of tipping point, some trigger that would just change everything, but he wasn't sure, at that point, what it would be, or when.

Starting a new job, far from home, had been exciting. He'd been glad for the opportunity to immerse himself in it all, with no other real obligations. He did fly home to LA most weekends, but he was always ready to go back to Nashville on Sundays. More often than not, he'd drive straight from the airport to Connie's house, looking forward to spending the night – and maybe some of Monday, depending on their shooting schedules – together. He had fallen in love with her all over again, except this time it was real. Now he couldn't imagine his life without her in it.

He was looking at some Martins. The musician who, as he always said, was the voice of Deacon's guitar, Colin Linden, had talked with him a lot about guitars and he was hoping to find a quality vintage guitar for himself. He wouldn't buy it until he got back to Nashville, but wanted to get a feel for what he would like. He felt the vibration of his phone and made a face. He pulled the phone out of his back pocket, thinking it would be his wife, Patty, wondering when he'd be back. He sighed. As crazy about her as he'd been in college, the marriage had felt like it had been running out of steam for a while. They fought more, spent less time together, and much of the freedom he felt in Nashville was due to being away from her.

He turned the phone over and a smile crossed his face. It was Connie. I hate to interfere with your last bit of time with your family, but would you have some time for us to get together in the next day or so? He thought about telling her he'd come right then, but the family was going to a matinee movie and then to dinner. He texted back. Absolutely. Tomorrow work? He waited. Terrific. After lunch? He started to walk towards the door of the shop. I'll be there.

He headed out the door and towards his car wishing it was already the next day.