Story set-up: Sirius is a werewolf hunter who has failed to capture Remus Lupin three times. This will probably end up being about 5 short-to-medium sized chapters, with some angsty sleepingwiththeenemy!smut toward the end. Sirius is only an idiot when around Remus in this one (lolz).

Magical AU: Remus never went to Hogwarts and Voldemort doesn't exist.

Disclaimer: Tis Jo's, not mine.

Attempt #1

The first time Sirius had tried catching Remus Lupin, he'd ended up with a bloodied nose and a weeks' suspension.

It was his first month on the job and he'd turned twenty years old the week prior. The department veteran he was apprenticing for had over thirty years of experience as a werewolf hunter. Their actual title was Wolfsbane Officer, but it was a gentle name for a job that required capturing unregistered dark creatures by means of force, dead or alive.

"See that one in the blue?" his mentor, Davies, whispered as they peered through the grimy pub window. "That's Rooper, we caught him last year but he escaped our holding facility by snatching a wand from one our guards. The two pale ones are his long-time friends, the vampire Nightingale twins. Lupin should be somewhere around here, our spy said they arrived together an hour ago."

Sirius had sighed apprehensively but was eager to get on with it.

'The back door is open," he murmured to Davies. Davies nodded.

"Good—I'll check it out, you stay here and make sure they don't leave."

Sirius watched as his mentor crept around the side alley toward the back dumpsters. He checked his watch. Backup would be arriving any second now from the Ministry.

"Oh…"

Sirius scowled and jerked around in alarm toward a window near the kitchens. It was the opaque frosted kind of glass, made for a bathroom. He inched closer.

"Ungh, fuck, yesss…"

The window was cracked open, and as he drew up to it, he could see the outlines of two boys, pressed up against the adjacent wall next to it, thrusting together in a tight-locked embrace.

He had known it was wrong, so wrong. It wasn't any of his business. How would he have felt, if some creep spied on him in this way?

But he couldn't move away. A brown haired boy was pressed up against the wall, his head thrown back, the others' lips locked on his throat, and he was moaning with such sensual abandon that Sirius felt it reverberate like a shock wave through him that grabbed him right by the balls.

Sirius' curiosity got the better of him, and he inched toward the window crack to get a glimpse of what the boy looked like, when—

BANG

"AAAaaargh!"

"Oh fuck, what in the bloody….?!"

Sirius had fallen backward on his rear, cupping his face as his nose gushed blood down his front, and trying to blink away white stars that burst in front of his eyes.

It had all happened so quickly—the boy pressed up against the wall had thrown his hand against the window to push himself back up, without realizing the window wasn't secured. It flew open, causing the edge of the iron frame to crash directly into Sirius' nose.

The two boys, in various states of undress, gaped at him as they tried to right themselves. One of them swore.

"Were you watching us, you pervert?!"

"He has a Wolfsbane badge!"

"What's that?" the blonde panted in confusion.

"Fuck!"

The brown haired boy dashed from the bathroom, yanking his robes back on and shouting into the dining area. More yelling followed, along with the sound of heavy wooden chairs groaning as their owners made a run for it, a firework show of spells, and his mentor Davies cursing into the night air.

Sirius hadn't set any newbie records that night.

Returning to fanfiction, yayy! Is there still a community on here? Figured this would be better than LJ. Who's left? :)

Let me know if this story is worth continuing!