Author's note: Um... this isn't the best thing I've ever written, but I hope you'll enjoy it all the same. Biggest thanks to my dear beta, fififolle, for putting up with my nitpicking.

Addendum: Updated between January 18th and February 4th, 2020. The above is probably still true, but I did tweak it a bit for a (hopefully) smoother reading and fixed a couple of characterization niggles. Also, I originally posted this in one piece - I'm still not entirely sure why (it's not that short) - and now split it up.

Two Roads to Córdoba

Chapter 1

It was early morning and Sheppard was asleep. That was apparently enough of a provocation to the fates; somebody shook him like a pillow they wanted to fluff. He exaggerated a moan and opened his eyes only to come face to face with Rodney McKay.

»Sheppard! Wake up! Aren't you military types used to waking up hours before dawn?« Rodney whispered urgently.

»That's the infantry.« Sheppard rolled away from his teammate. »It's dangerous to take off in the dark.« Not that danger ever stopped John Sheppard...

»You're not taking off. Well, you are, but...«

»I am?« That was all that was needed to make him wide awake. He rolled back to face the scientist.

»Yes. I need you. I have things to do, can't be bothered with flying as well.«

»Carson won't like that.« John waved a hand at the ceiling as if giving a clue to McKay that he was actually in the infirmary.

»I need you more than he does.«

»What for?«

»I need you to take me to the Mainland.«

»Why?«

»You'll see.«

The sense of excitement gave Sheppard extra energy. He was already sitting on the edge of the bed. A rolled up bunch of clothes was thrown at him from somewhere up ahead, where Rodney had his head stuck in a cabinet. He unfolded it to see what he had been given. It was a uniform of a very large size, judging by the sleeves. He was about to complain when he noticed the large sleeve was in fact a pantleg. Rodney obviously had enough sense to get his own uniform. He changed as quickly as he could.

»Wait, wait, wait!« Before flitting away, Rodney none too gently pulled Sheppard's IV hand to himself and deftly disconnected the apparatus.

»Let's go!« McKay spun in confusion; Sheppard had disappeared.

»McKay!« his teammate whispered at him from the door.

»Wait, wait, wait...« He stepped to one of the cupboards where he picked up a few small boxes and IV bags. He waved them at Sheppard. »We're not coming back just for these.«

»Hurry. Someone will see us!«

»No they won't. There's no one here.«

»What about Ricardo?«

»We sent her off to Zelenka. She'll be away for a while. You only have Carson to worry about.«

»Zelenka's in on this? What do you want me for?« Sheppard asked suspiciously.

»Nothing special.« McKay looked and sounded too innocent.

»In your vocabulary, that means something dangerous, McKay.«

»No. It's not dangerous.« He paused. »I hope.«

»You hope?!«

Rodney yanked Sheppard's arm from his place in the doorway. »Let's go!«

Just as he ran after McKay, John spotted nurse Ricardo returning.

ooo

Carson was in a good mood. He had just had a pleasant breakfast with Teyla, who was wearing a particularly lovely dress that day. The weather was nice and there wasn't much work.

However, all that went out of the window the moment he stepped over the threshold of the infirmary. He entered an empty room; unusually silent and dark, no one came to greet him. The nurses on duty often had to help in the labs, so that wasn't so unusual. More worrying was the fact that Colonel Sheppard wasn't in or anywhere near his bed.

He was there in a single stride, as if expecting the bed would tell him where his patient had gone. As it happened, that was the case. A piece of paper waited for him on haphazardly ordered bedclothes. In McKay's handwriting, it said: »Gone to the Mainland. Be back by supper. Take the day off.«

For one moment, the thought that Rodney had kidnapped Colonel Sheppard invaded Carson's mind, but he immediately dismissed it as stupid. More likely it was the Colonel's idea in the first place.

Carson felt anger mixed with worry wash over him. Of all the irresponsible actions...

He called the nurse on duty, remembering a moment later that the infirmary was empty. He tapped his radio. »Major Lorne, can you please come to the infirmary.«

»Right away,« came the reply.

»Carson, what's wrong?« Elizabeth's voice sounded in his earpiece. Apparently he had used the public channel. Bugger. He switched to private.

»Colonel Sheppard's missing.«

»Missing?!«

»Well, I got a note from Rodney. They went to the Mainland.«

Lorne entered the infirmary just in time to hear the last sentence.

»Oh,« said Elizabeth. »They probably went to visit the Athosians.«

»Athosians?«

Lorne picked that up and called another of his team to contact the Mainland settlement. He patted the doctor's arm in a calming 'we'll find them' gesture.

»Is the Colonel well enough to go?« Elizabeth asked. Lorne shook his head – they weren't at the Athosian settlement.

»No,« Carson cried, getting a strange look from the soldier. He knew it was an exaggeration, but it was more than likely that Colonel Sheppard wasn't up to his usual adventures yet.

»Don't worry,« said Lorne calmingly. »We'll find them.«

»I want to go with you.«

»Okay, doc.«

Carson informed Elizabeth of his plans. »Take Ronon with you,« she suggested. Ronon was a part of the team anyway, and the whole military contingent was grateful anytime they could get out of sparring practice with the Satedan. »Good luck,« said Elizabeth.

»Come on, doc,« Evan said. »Let's go.«

ooo

Flying a puddle jumper was a miracle cure for John Sheppard. He looked infinitely better than just twenty minutes earlier.

Rodney quickly glanced at his friend and just as quickly glued his eyes back to the screen. He pretended to type intently on the computer, doing something scientific. He hoped he was fast enough to make that impression. Unfortunately for him, the only game that fit those requirements was Tetris.

»McKay...« Sheppard interrupted his concentration on the falling blocks.

»What?« He managed to sound far more irritated than he really was.

»You needed me to fly you, in a jumper, to the Mainland, just so you could play...« He leaned over to see McKay's laptop screen.

»Hey!«

»...Tetris!«

How on Earth did Sheppard see through his ruse? Rodney was doing his best to hide the fact, but Sheppard must've been clairvoyant.

»Well...« he really didn't know what to say.

»What is so scientifically important about a computer game? Antique one at that.«

»Tetris is a classic, not an antique.«

»You keep deluding yourself, McKay. So, why are we on our way to the Mainland?«

»Well, if you must know, I needed a break. I started making stupid mistakes, Zelenka was getting the better of me, that sort of thing. I had to take a day off, so I came to get you, and we're heading to the Mainland...«

»And why do you need me? You can fly a jumper.«

Rodney didn't even try to think of an excuse. »You were so much better and I thought you could use a few hours away from Carson's voodoo rituals and...«

»I see.«

»I'm sor...«

Sheppard didn't let his friend finish that sentence. »Thank you, Rodney.« He gave a few moments' attention to the jumper controls, then turned back. »Carson'll have your hide, though.«

»You think so?« McKay sounded panicked.

»Oh, yeah.« Sheppard's open show of mischief told Rodney it was all in fun. Unfortunately he couldn't share the sentiment, because he was a dead man! He sighed as loudly as he could.

»Where on the Mainland exactly are we going?«

»Córdoba.« How exactly they started naming the beaches after Spanish cities was a mystery among Atlanteans. Legend had it that it was Ford's idea to name that first beach. It didn't really sound like Ford, so that was unlikely. Some suspected their Spanish military contingent, but those men didn't seem to know much about it either.

McKay continued: »We won't be bothered, nobody's booked it yet.«

»Cool.« Sheppard felt livelier by the minute, but there was one little fly in the ointment – Córdoba wasn't good for surfing.