A/N This is a long story i've already practically finished. chapters will be posted based on feedback.
A/N #2 sorry some stuff occurred to me so i added.
"That doesn't sound foolish', Sara says, holding back tears.
'it doesn't?', John asks.
'no', sara reassures. 'it sounds beautiful".
She turns around trying to hide her tears. John puts his arm on her shoulder. 'Sara, what's wrong?'. She wipes her face and turns around. 'It's nothing. It's just
something Libby said'. 'what'd she say?'. 'nothing. It's not important'. 'Sara, what did she say?'. Sara takes a deep breath. 'Don't take this the wrong way John, but
she said the babies didn't do anything. they didn't take away the pain'. John looks away. 'you don't think my own child will fill a hole in my heart?'. 'no that's not what
i'm saying'. 'because i know it won't', John says. 'only you can do that'. he grabs her and kisses her. It takes her breath away and catches her off guard at the same
time. She knows its wrong, but she can't let him go. They walk backwards to her office wall, and John picks Sara up. She knows she has to stop this. 'John', she
mumbles in between kisses. 'John!'. He's startled and he stops. 'We can't do this', Sara said. 'you have a fiance and now a baby on the way'. 'sara, i don't want her. I
want you!'', John pleads. 'you should of thought of that before you got her pregnant', Sara snaps. John looks down helplessly. 'you said no to me, sara', he says, his
voice cracking barely above a whisper. His words pierce Sara's heart. She had, and she had to take responsibility for it. What was he supposed to do, not be intimate
with his own fiancé? She never thought in a million years the baby John Schuyler Moore wanted, she would want to carry. Her heart was breaking and she couldn't let
him see it. John looked down at her. She sees the tears in his eyes too. "Good bye Sara'. 'Good bye John', she says. Bitsy enters the office and She looks at John.
'congratulations john', she repeats, in an effort to sound normal. John nods. 'Thank you Sara'. He leaves the office and Bitsy looks at Sara, confused. 'congratulations
for what?'. Sara takes a deep breath to get the next sentence out. 'Violet is in a delicate conditon', she says plainly. Bitsy looks at Sara and then out the door. 'i'll kill
him, miss sara. I'll kill him and make it look like an accident'. Sara laughs. 'I had my chance, Bitsy. He moved on'. 'you still love him, miss sara! And he loves you! He
can't possibly be happy'. 'Bitsy, it is what is', sara says sadly as she looks out the door.
'Mr. Moore is here, Miss Sara', Sara's maid calls from the hall. Sara pokes her head out of her room. She's recently returned from work and barely dressed for bed.
She takes a deep breath. 'i'm in my room', she calls. She hears footsteps and sees John at her door through her mirror. 'come in, john', sara says casually. He comes
in and shuts the door. 'I wouldn't do that', Sara warns. 'we've had plenty a conversation with the door shut, Sara'. 'somehow i don't think this is going to finish in a
conversation', she says as she undoes her braid. 'so you've changed your mind about us?'. 'i won't be the woman you cheat on your fiancee with, John'. 'well
technically you already are', He tries to joke. She glares at him. 'like i said, we didn't think it through. I don't regret it but i'm not doing it again'. 'are you sure?', John
asks, stepping closer to her. Sara stands up and walks across the room. 'does your fiancé not wonder where you are at this late hour?'. 'Sara!'. Sara stops at the
firmness of John's voice. 'i have to go through with this, but you can't leave me again'. 'i can't be with someone i don't love'. His voice is low and quiet, like it always is
with her. If he got any closer, her resolve would break. 'john...' sara's voice trails off sadly, her eyes filling with tears. She looks up at him, his eyes also filled with
tears. He can't take it anymore. He bends down and kisses her, picking her up and carrying her to her bed in the process. Their kisses are fast and furious, like the
maid might walk in any second. Sara quickly unbuttons john's pants and zips them down. He lifts her nightgown up while she unties his tie and shirt. Sara lets out a
gasp and a moan as John thrusts into her. This would not be sweet and slow like it was a few nights ago. They were on borrowed time. Sara digs her face into john's
shoulder to keep from letting out a moan. The thrusts come harder and stronger, Sara having to completely wrap her arms around john to steady herself. They're both
panting. She feels him start to slow down, kiss her, kiss her forehead, her cheeks, her chin, her chest, her breasts, everything. She pulls his head back to her kissing
him fiercely. He lays his head on her chest in exhaustion. She doesn't want to speak up but she does. 'you've got to get home, john'. He looks at her and kisses her
fiercely, then rolls out of her on his side. Sara pulls up the blankets, grabbing her nightgown. 'john, please', she says, her voice shaky. John sighs, reaching for his
clothes. He dresses quickly and reaches her bedroom door. He opens it but looks back at her. 'I Love you', he says and shuts the door. Sara bursts into tears into her
pillow.
'miss sara, are you sure you wanna do this?', Sara's maid asks her as she ties her into her corset. She's preparing for Violet and John's wedding. Sara nods. 'John's
been my friend my whole life. I have to be there for him'. 'Miss Sara, i heard you two the other night'. Sara's face brightens. 'please don't tell anyone about that'. 'i
won't miss, but is this how it's going to be? Is Mr. Moore going to be making late night calls, while his wife and baby wait for him?'. Sara sighs. 'please don't make me
feel more guilty than i already do'. 'it's just something to think about, miss. I know you regret turning down Mr. Moore, but if he loves you, he shouldn't be going
through with this'. 'she's pregnant. He has to', sara answers, sharper than she was expecting. 'yes ma'm', the maid answers quietly as she laces sara's dress.
Sara arrives at the church, immediately spotting laslo and Karen. She runs over to give them a hug. 'how are you feeling today, sara?' laslo asks. 'I'm good. Excited
for john'. Laslo scoffs. 'are you really?'.'yes, really', Sara answers defensively. Karen tries to diffuse the tension. 'you look beautiful, sara'. 'thank you, Karen. You as
well'. All three sit together, Sara next to Karen away from Laslo. Laslo notices the tension. John had confessed to him about their tryst. 'you know sara, when the
priest asks if anyone objects you should raise your hand', Laslo whispers. Karen smacks him with her program.'ouch! Sorry, dear'. Sara rolls her eyes and tries to
ignore Laslo. She keeps her eyes to the front and suddenly sees John appear at the altar. She tries not to make eye contact with him but fails. She fears he sees the
tears welling in her eyes, but then she sees he's trying not to cry too. She hears murmurs of 'aw!' In the audience but she knows why he's crying- he's signing his life
away today. The wedding march stars and Violet walks down the aisle with Hearst. They reach John and he steps aside, as John grabs Violet's hand. Her dress is
certainly flashy, loose in the belly area to hide that baby, no 's Like the room is in slow motion as they say their vows. They peck on the lips, are declared
husband and wife, and the room goes wild. Sara is trying her best to stay calm. As everyone moves to the reception area, she feels a hand and looks over to see
Karen. Karen smiles at her and she smiles back.'i'm Gonna help you get through tonight, ok?', She says. Sara smiles and nods. All of new york high society is here.
She can't be an emotional mess. Everyone is seated and the newlyweds are introduced. They dance their first dance. Violet dances the father daughter dance with
Hearst. Then John steps up to the mike. 'as many of you know, violet and i don't have close family or family at all really here tonight. she has her godfather and had
her dance with him, So i'd like to invite my oldest friend, Sara Howard to the dance floor'. Sara is shocked. What is he doing? She looks at Karen and Laslo. Karen is
giddy, Laslo just shrugs. She sees the color drain from Violet's face. Her legs are like Jell-O as she walks towards John. They dance closely as a waltz begins. 'i just
wanted to be near you', john whispers. 'John, this is dangerous. People will talk', she whispers back. 'Everyone knows you're a family friend, sara', he says. 'no harm,
no foul'. 'oh is that what i am to you?', She whispers. 'NO!', John says angrily, 'but we have to let them think that'. 'how long do you think i'm going to keep this up,
john?', Sara asks. 'for as long as it takes to convince violet we are horrible together' he whispers as he twirls her for the final note. The room claps. Sara heads past
her seat, tears streaming from her eyes. Karen looks at Laslo and follows her. Sara rushes into the bathroom, karen right after her. 'why would he do that?', She cries.
'in front of everyone'. 'he has to behave normal, sara. Like nothing's wrong'. 'I can't do this!', Sara cries. 'its why laslo avoid these things', Karen says. 'he hates the
hypocrisy'. 'so he hates me?', Sara asks. 'no', Karen smiles. 'Quite the opposite'. 'he went to John himself and told him not to do this'. 'he did?', Sara says incredously.
'Yes', Karen says. 'and it pained John a great deal but he said he'd made a mess and now had to lie in it'. 'easy for him to say-he's getting the best of both worlds',
Sara says bitterly. 'so don't tolerate it anymore', Karen says simply. 'what?', Karen says in shock. 'don't come to him anymore and don' let him come to you'. Sara
looks away and is silent. 'can't do it, can you?'. Sara turns around to Karen, tears in her eyes. 'who have i become?', She cries. 'a woman in love', Karen says simply.
'A woman who made a mistake she thinks she can never take back, but she can. He's still coming to you, Sara. He is POWERLESS over you. Violet will never make
him happy'. 'but the baby!', Sara cries. 'the baby may pacify him for a little while', Karen agrees 'but not for long. It's not who he wants a baby with'. Sara can't take it
anymore and sobs, almost falling to the ground before Karen catches her. Karen holds Sara's hand as they walk back to their seats. Laslo immediately looks
concerned. 'is everything ok?'.'no, but i think you know that', Karen says. 'i think i will call it an evening' Sara says simply. Laslo nods. 'shall i walk you out to a cab?'.
Sara nods in appreciation, and Karen squeezes her boyfriends hand in thanks. Sara takes Laslo's arm and they walk out together. John, who is standing with Astor and
some of the other high society man, notices. He wants to run to her, comfort her, but he can't. Not tonight. He's just thankful his friend is in charge of her tonight.
It's the end of the night and John and Violet are saying their thank you's and good bye's. They reach Laslo and Karen. 'it was so good of you to come, my college
friend', John says. 'wouldn't miss it for the world', Laslo says. 'beautiful wedding', Karen says. 'thanks for the invite'. 'of course!', Violet gushes. 'we're so glad you
could come'. 'Congratulations. On all your blessings', Karen says. Violet looks down at her stomach and smiles. 'thank you'. 'what happened to sara?', John asks
sternly. 'she took an early night', Karen answers back just as sternly. 'that's too bad. Would have liked to say good night to her', Violet says. Karen's eyes try not to
roll back into her head. Laslo senses this. 'well, it was a lovely evening. Congratulations both of you', and he grabs Karen's arm and hastily leaves. 'what the hell?',
Karen asks. 'I had to get you out of there before you fought her', Laslo says. 'you weren't there Laslo! you didn't see her sob her eyes out in the bathroom!', Karen
exclaimed. 'But i was the first to call John out on his affection for Sara!', Laslo snaps back. 'when we all started working together 2 years ago'. 'You haven't been
there, Karen. You haven't been caught in the middle of their arguments that seems to be about work, but are totally about something else!'. 'I did all i could for them
to be honest with each other'. 'John was able to, But Sara was too late. She has to live with that'. Karen looks at him. 'you really think this is the end of this?', she
asks. He sighs. 'No'.