Tony Stark was known by many names.
The name that always felt most accurate was Incubus.
The first time he'd had the name thrown at him was after a particularly bad one night stand with a doe-like amber-eyed angel. It was his first time sleeping with an angel, his first time breaking the spirit of something so pure, but the sensations sent shivers down his body that he could find no explanation for.
The name had been screeched at him the next morning, when he was caught sneaking out from the previous night's events, by a broken heart woman with tears streaming down her face. He didn't look back. He never did.
In a world protected by angels, it felt right for people to recognize him as a demon. He wasn't the biblical presence everyone prayed for, but he believed that was fair because he was something the world needed to keep balance. In a world filled with purity and love, there had to be evil to balance it out. Some people had to be bad.
The belief gave Tony the motive he fiercely needed to live his life. He was going to do things the way he wanted to. He didn't care who got hurt. He didn't care about the wretched murder-some weapons he created. He didn't care about the hearts he broke.
If the world saw him as a demon, he was going to be the most bad-ass fucking demon they'd ever seen.
Of course, demons were never real. There was no record of them ever really existing, just bedtime rumors of monsters under the bed that kept children behaving. People were born to create and live good lives. There were no people born evil.
Tony knew it was a lie, told to himself to excuse the horrendous acts he committed by creating weapons of mass destruction that killed thousands. It was easier for him to see himself as the stylish womanizing Incubus than the Merchant of Death people saw him as.
He tried not to think of the death count he'd created in the world. He wasn't an angel, it wasn't his job to keep humanity safe and protected, but there was still a part of him that knew he shouldn't be contributing to the planet's losses either. He shouldn't be hurting people.
Instead, he continues with his daily routine. It's easier for him.
He spends most of his time in his lab working on projects where he can bury his feelings. He hides from the bustling world around him because only in his lab, does he finally feel peace. He's less of a burden when he's locked away in his own personal dungeon.
He would stay hidden away forever if it numbed the pain he feels inside.
When tinkering isn't enough, he finds himself with a bottle of booze in his hand, hoping to further push down the ache in his chest. The drink burns through him, but it's barely enough to numb his hatred. On these nights, when he's drinking himself towards a slow painful death, he can't give in to the pain he feels. He's too much of a fighter to give in.
Drinking isn't enough. Tony Stark wakes up in the morning, time and time again, despite drinking enough to kill a small horse. He needs something stronger.
He decides if he can't poison himself to numb enough of the pain, he might as well enjoy the pleasure his body can provide. He always has good old sex and drugs to fall back upon.
So, instead of torturing himself about all the destruction he's caused in the world, he turns to angels, to provide the highest form of bliss his money can buy.
September 25th, 1996
"One second, babe," Tony mutters as he lines up the white powder for the third time. He just can't seem to get the line straight. His hands are still too jittery from coming down from his previous high. He needs to get one more hit in before the withdrawal symptoms become too unbearable.
"No problem. You paid for the night. Take all the time you need," she replies calmly.
Tony takes another look at the prostitute waiting for him. She's sitting with her legs tucked underneath her on the bed, dressed in thinly laced lingerie. Every part of her is irresistible, and he can't wait to defile her. He plans to rip off her clothing any moment now; he just needs to get high first.
It isn't like Tony Stark to hire a hooker. He's usually much more predatory in his mating routines. He knows he's skilled enough to score any woman he wants, but angelic women are just so delicious, and he needs his fix tonight.
(The market for the fetish has become extensively rare with the high morals they tend to have. And Tony Stark has the most expensive tastes. He can afford the skyrocketing costs of burying himself inside pure angel bliss.)
He snorts to himself in contempt as the drugs begin to rush through him. Its rush of euphoria just feels too good.
He's rough with her that night, leaving bite marks across her neck. He tugs on her wings in an equal mixture of frustration and pleasure as he lets himself loose. He marks her as his property. He paid for her. He owns her for these few bliss filled nights.
When the weekend is over, he tips her like the employee she is and leaves her in an empty hotel room to deal with the consequences alone.
He returns to his job as the Merchant of Death.
June 1st, 1973
The first memory Tony Stark has is more of a feeling than an actual scene.
He can feel himself crying, the sobs choking from his young throat as tears stream down his face. He's too young to yet control the overbearing emotions that flow through him.
He can't remember the events leading up to the memory, the scraped knee or the amount of blood dripping down his pants. There's a burning he can't quite locate as alcohol is poured over the wound and the small rocks are plucked from his skin. There's just pain.
And then there's peace. A safety that Tony remembers fondly. The angelic wings of his mother wrap around him as the tears continue to fall. A quiet hushing as she soothes him.
He remembers her wings. The large white glowing wings that wrap around his delicate body in comfort. He'll never forget the way it feels. The softness, the delicateness, the warmth.
He gets lost in the memory of his mother's love.
October 15th, 1974
Tony Stark had to fight for his parent's affection from a very young age.
He learned very early on that a quiet child was a good child. He learns to bite the inside of his cheek instead of crying - his noises distract his parents from their vital work. He learns to hold his tongue when something isn't right. He learns to obey their commands.
He learns who he can trust before he's even five years of age.
They mark him as a prodigy child, a genius of technology and engineering. The legends speak of the tale, of how he builds his first circuit board at age four, his first engine at age six. They write how he was always thirsty to improve, eager to learn more. He was their prodigy boy. Their perfect puppet.
But there was no real yearning for the skill or desire to become something great. Only an undying amount of anxiety and pain way too early on in life. Only fear.
If he wants his parent's attention and praise, he needs to earn it.
He finds the easiest way to earn their love is in his father's lab. He has the brain of a Stark, and the concepts click into place quickly enough. He pours himself into textbooks with words so long he can barely comprehend them, but the pictures and diagrams are easy enough to understand. He learns how the flow of electricity creates life within his father's products.
At age four, Tony Stark builds his first circuit board.
At age four, Howard Stark takes an interest in his son. He receives no praise, but he does get another textbook to start skimming through and space in his father's lab. His father buys tools for him to create something grander. He gets a chance to make his father proud.
At age four, he earns a kiss on the forehead from his mom as she tells him she loves him and calls him her prodigy boy for the first time. He wins her love. He earns the warmth of her wings wrapped around them as she embraces him.
At age four, Tony Stark settles into his new role in life. The young man learns who he's meant to be. He discovers his place in the world.
He learns the meaning of the name Stark.
December 22nd, 1996
The first time Tony meets Pepper Potts is at a Stark Industries Christmas party.
He arrives late, even more so than usual. He can't stand these mandatory appearances, public events put on in the interest of high workplace morale. It's a waste of his hard earned money, and something always seems to go wrong at these things.
He's even angrier when he has to attend. He doesn't care how much human resources insists it's good for his brand. It's a waste of his valuable time. He could be in his lab inventing his next big success, but instead, he's being forced to mingle among the common folk.
At least, among the sea of drunken employees, he can find himself someone to take home tonight. There are plenty of eager women here ready to sleep their way into a promotion. This night won't be a complete waste of time if he can find someone who excites his fire within.
He scans the room for anyone to suit his needs, downing another shot of high-end scotch as he works through his options. There has to be a single person here who ignites him.
And then something catches his eye in the sea of rushing people. Wings.
How had he not noticed it before? There's an angel here. They're so rare to see at lower end functions, but he can't deny the blessed white wings that peak above the sea of people. He's been blessed with an angel tonight.
It ignites the feelings deep within him. He feels warm, safe, happy. He feels desire. There's something about the protection wings provide that he needs so badly right now. He needs her.
He quickly decides that she's his reward for coming tonight.
He grabs two drinks as he makes his way through the crowd. It takes a bit of effort for him to elegantly move through the flood of people, but his excitement drives him on. He's used to this game, his body well versed in the dance of predator and prey.
The first thing he sees is her wings. With her back turned towards him, he takes a few moments to bask in the glory that are her feathers. They're long and well cared for, delicately hovering a few inches from the ground. They're white and pure, precisely like the feel of the memories within him.
He watches as a stranger runs his hand down her wings eagerly. Tony has to push down the insane jealousy rising deep inside him as he watches the man defile her. Her down is so thick he yearns to run his face against them too, but he knows it'd be inappropriate, so he gulps down his rage instead.
He rounds her beautiful display when he feels her conversation dying down and hands her a drink with a smile. This is his chance.
"I couldn't help but notice the attention your attracting. I just came over to make sure you're feeling safe here at Stark Industries. I wouldn't want anything happening to any my employees tonight."
"Oh no, Mr. Stark. Everything's fine. They were just curious. They've never touched wings before, and I told them it was okay if they wanted to feel them quickly," she says in a hushed tone, almost embarrassed of her actions. He can't help but notice the way her wings curl in on herself as the blush dances across her face.
He's still focused on the grace of her wings as he replies. "Of course. There's nothing wrong with a little touching as long as everyone consents."
She rolls her eyes at his antics but bends a wing towards him anyway. She can see the way his eyes focus on them. She already fully aware of allure she creates in the men around her. "You can touch them too if you want. I don't mind."
He rubs his hands together before placing them gently along the backside of her wing. He can feel the strong muscles rippling underneath as he runs his hands down the thick feathering. The velvety feeling sends shivers down his spine that he can only describe as pleasure.
"They're very impressive. Very well kept," Tony says as he takes a step back to admire her attraction.
"Thank you, Mr. Stark. I appreciate the compliment."
"Please. Mr. Stark is my father's name. You can call me Tony. And what can I call you?"
"Pepper, Pepper Potts."
As Tony reaches to shake her hand, he moves his eyes from her towering wings and towards her face. He can't help but falter as he looks into her gorgeous blue eyes. He's simply shocked by her beauty. He isn't prepared for true fascination.
He's used to wings. That's a beauty he can handle. But he's never seen eyes so deep before, clouded in blue like the afternoon sky. There's no halo in them yet, but he feels there's something deeper within for which she's reaching. He suddenly understands why some claim the eyes are the window to the soul.
And there's something about this woman. Not only are her eyes dazzling, but every bit of her body is framed in the grace of an angel. Her flaming red hair, the freckles that dance across her skin, the light pink lipstick she wears, the air in how she carries herself.
It isn't just the wings he wants to bury himself in. He wants to get to know her. He wants to care for her. He wants to provide for her. He wants to love her.
"I've never seen you around before, Miss Potts. And I would have noticed someone like you. These parties are usually so boring," he jokes. It isn't his best material, but he's too hypnotized to think of anything more sophisticated.
"I just started working as a secretary a month ago. Parties aren't really my scene, but I'm having a great time networking. There's so many impressive people here tonight. I never imagined I'd be meeting you tonight, though," she says, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.
The two continue to spend the evening together, chatting delightfully as they share drinks. They're inseparable as they work for the crowd. Even when the situation calls for it, Tony doesn't leave her side for fear of losing her.
He finds himself fascinated by her every presence. He learns her favorite drink, what makes her happy, and every bit of information he can about her. He listens intently.
He's pretty sure she's flirting with him too, but he makes no moves in her direction. She's rocking on her heels by the end of the night. He deeply regrets handing her so many drinks, but he makes sure that she's escorted home safely.
She stretches a wing over him with a yawn and a silly excuse of stretching her wings. She invites him inside for coffee. He politely declines.
Tony Stark doesn't have sex Pepper Potts that night, even though he could have. He doesn't take to his penthouse suite. He doesn't live up to his name of Incubus.
She deserves so much better than a one night stand.
June 4th, 1987
Tony should be ecstatic. He's about to graduate from MIT. He's the youngest ever graduate and top of his class, but he just can't find the pride without his parent's approval. They need to share in his moment. He wants them to be proud of him too.
Something isn't right. Tony can feel it in the air as soon as he wakes up. He just can't place the feeling that's keeping him so vehemently on edge this morning.
He quickly showers, already anxious for the day ahead of him. He needs to look his best as he steps down the stage tonight, but there are already bags under his eyes that he can't hide. He hopes the warm water will restore some normality to his skin.
As he's drying off in his room, his ears finally hear what his mind was sensing all this time. There's shouting downstairs. He can barely hear the echo of his father's booming voice as it pounds between the vents, but it's there.
He thinks back to his childhood. All the times Howard would shout and throw a fit, upset at a speed bump in his work. He didn't take mediocrity well, and even the great Howard Stark wasn't always perfect. His family received most of the built up anger.
His mother received the worst of Howard's beatings. That never sat right with Tony, but he learned very early on to hold his tongue. He may live under his father's roof, but he knows what his father was doing is wrong. His mother was, in all senses of the word, an angel that blessed their family. She deserved better than Howard Stark.
She shouldn't have to do this. If she didn't see herself as the guardian angel of the Stark family, she wouldn't put up with his thrashings. Time and time again, she sticks herself in harm's way to make sure her son is safe. She puts herself between Tony and Howard. She takes the worst of his anger.
She becomes the protector of the Stark household.
But she shouldn't have to be.
"Thanks for driving me, Jarvis."
"It's no problem, master. In fact, it's my pleasure."
Tony's thankful for the ride towards campus. He's old enough to drive himself, but he can still feel his nerves bubbling in his chest from this morning's events. He doesn't know if he could have safely driven himself.
He doesn't need to be at the school for another few hours, but he just needs to get out of the house. He can't handle the pressure any longer. He can't handle the shouting.
"Are you excited?"
Tony wants to shake his head. He isn't excited. Honestly, he feels sick to his stomach. Jarvis is the only one he trusts with his thoughts, but he holds them down anyway. He's been working his whole life to make his parents proud, and now, at the moment he's worked so hard to reach, he can barely stand to think of them.
When he closes his eyes, all he can hear is his father's booming voice and his mom's wings spread around herself in defense. All he can feel is pain and sorrow. All he sees is red.
"I'm just nervous. It's a big day, you know. What if it doesn't turn out to be everything I want?"
"It will be. You earned this. I'm so proud of you," the butler says in earnest. He is proud of the boy he's raised. He's proud of the man Tony is growing into, even if he can never replace the love that the boy's parents should be providing. All he can do is be there.
The ride is mostly silent. Tony can barely hold down the creeping feeling in his stomach, the growing bouts of nauseousness. He knows something isn't right, but he can't place a finger on it. He feels like crying.
Jarvis helps him gather his things in the back of the car, but he can see the look on Tony's face. He can feel the fear the boy emanates. He just wishes there was something he could do to help him.
"Is everything alright master?" he asks one last time.
"I just… you'll be there tonight. Right, Jarvis?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"You promise?"
"I promise."
Tony isn't sure why he's so nervous. Everything seems to be working out great.
He looks great in his robe. He becomes handsome and confident and successful. His parents will have to be proud of him tonight. He's going to do great things.
He presents his speech flawlessly. The crowd roars as he delivers the words he'd been working so hard on. He can't see his parents among the group, but he's sure they're there somewhere, smiling and proud of their boy. He even feels the pride growing within.
As he accepts his diploma, a swarm of people step forward to take his photo. The attention is entirely on him - he is the future of Stark Industries after all - the press desperate for a picture of him graduating. It feels nice to be this important once in a while. Tony would never admit it, but he revels in the praise the night brings.
The crowds disperse. Rhodey gives him the strongest of bro hugs he's ever received before. He's feeling good. He just wants to see his parents now.
But they aren't there. Tony waits as the room empties, looking around desperately for any sign of his family. He can feel his heart smashing in two at the realization. Even Jarvis is missing in attendance. His heart breaks as quickly as the promise from earlier.
He sits on the cold doorstep of the school, his diploma clutched firmly in hand, as he waits. He doesn't have a ride to get home, but he sticks around to feel the pain this day has caused. No one had come to see his greatest achievement. No one cares.
Every bone in his body freezes as the cold night air chills him thoroughly. He chews the inside of his cheek so hard that he can feel the iron taste of blood filling his mouth. He lets the tears win, streaming down his face in anger. He allows his pain to fill him.
He'd visit his mother in the hospital that night. She'd been beaten so hard that she could barely stand. He'd never forget her eyes swollen shut, her bruised skin, the red that stained her wings. He'd never forget their fingers intertwined with his as she apologized for disappointing him.
She'd protected him once again. And he could never protect her in return.
December 25th, 1996
Tony Stark spends Christmas in his lab like he does every year.
He's used to being alone, but this Christmas feels even more lonesome. He can't help but feel something missing this year. He wants more than tools and robots.
He doesn't drink. He doesn't get high. He doesn't seek pleasure in the human form.
He thinks about her.
He hasn't stopped thinking about Pepper since the party. He can't get her out of his mind. It drives him insane. When he closes his eyes, all he can see are her gorgeous pooling eyes. Her laugh fills his dreams. Her scent is always there lingering.
He hasn't contacted her since. He never asked for her number. It's not that he can't get ahold of her phone line - she works for his company - but he doesn't want to seem creepy. And deep down, he knows she deserves better than him.
The least he can do is try to be better. He can try to help her.
"JARVIS. Did we send Christmas bonuses out to the employees this year?"
"We sent a usual bonus of five hundred dollars to every Stark Industries employee this year. Would you like me to bring up the financial records?"
"No, thank you. Did Pepper Potts receive a Christmas bonus?"
"She did not. She has only been working at Stark Industries a total of forty-six days. She will not qualify for bonuses until she finishes her ninety-day probationary period."
"Please send a Christmas bonus of one thousand dollars to Pepper Potts."
December 31st, 1996
Tony wishes she was here tonight.
New Years is especially depressing when you have no one to hold close and kiss.
He could have any woman in the world by his side tonight, but that feeling doesn't sit right with him. He can't stand kissing anyone else tonight. It wouldn't be right.
He only wants to kiss Pepper.
January 4th, 1997
Tony can't stand it anymore. He has to see her again.
That's how he finds himself marching through Stark Tower towards the human resource department. All it took was a quick search for him to learn; she works as a secretary to one of the top workers in the department. It was easy for a genius like him.
He's not sure what he'll say when he finds her. There's part of him that wants to ask her on a date, but there's no guarantee she'll even remember the night they shared. And he doesn't want to take advantage of his position within the company. He's trying to be better.
As the doors to the elevator open, he doesn't get a chance to organize his words. He's heartbroken at what he sees. The last thing he expected to see was Pepper Potts step into the elevator with a large box in her hands, fighting to hold back the tears.
"Pepper? Are… are you okay?" he asks gently. She's barely noticed his presence, and he speaks slowly so that he doesn't frighten her.
Suddenly aware of his presence, she brings up a wing to create a wall between them. She rubs the tears from her eyes where he can't see her. She needs to stay strong in front of him.
"I'm fine," she says with a choke. She's trying so hard to hold everything back, but she's completely torn apart. She doesn't know what she's going to do.
"Everything doesn't seem fine. Did something happen?"
She shakes her head, but he can't see the gesture with her feathers separating them. He can only see the way her body vaguely shakes.
"Pepper? Can you please talk to me? I promise whatever happened, it isn't as bad as you think. We can still fix this together. But, I need you to let me in."
He places a hand gently on her wing. He can feel the way the muscles relax into his touch, the same automatic reaction he felt weeks ago. He can feel her begin to unwind.
As she tucks her wing behind her back once more, Tony closes the space between the two. He can see her face much better now, though he's deeply upset by the tears rimming her eyes. Something deep within him struggles with the sunken look of Pepper's face.
"Now tell me who's ass I have to kick," he jokes, desperate to see her smile. It doesn't work.
"It's my fault. I made a mistake on some forms, and because I'm still on probation, they decided it was just easier to let me go." She keeps her head down in shame. It's such a stark contrast to the woman he met at the Christmas party weeks ago.
"They fired you?" He can barely believe his ears and his tone is much louder than he meant it to be. He knows things like this happen all the time within his company, but he's never been so personally affected before.
"Yeah. It's my fault though. I should have been more careful."
He can't take it any longer. He taps his watch to the elevator wall and listens to the beep. He can feel the elevator slow it's descent, before stopping and reversing in direction.
"Is that all of your stuff Pepper?" he asks.
She nods, though there's slight of confusion in her expression. She's unsure of what's going on, but she trusts Tony. He kept her safe at the party, and she knows he won't hurt her now.
"I need a new secretary. Been looking for someone worthwhile for a few weeks now. I took a look at your supervisor reviews and your works good. You're a hard worker."
She looks up at him, unsure of what he's asking her, and he finds himself lost in her eyes again. He's rushed with the feeling of protection. He needs to help her.
"If you'll accept my offer, I'll offer you double your salary. You'll be well taken care of."
She would have accepted it even without the raise.
March 14th, 1997
The lab was supposed to be empty today. Tony was supposed to be alone in his mourning.
He can't find the strength to build anything worthy. The scattered tools litter his desk, but they won't be touched today. He has no inspiration, and no fight left to use them. He has only pain.
He downs another shot of his drink, barely flinching as it burns his freshly cracked throat. His face still feels raw from his last bout of tears, and he can feel the burning that fights behind his eyes. He would usually fight harder to hold his emotions back, but on this single day of mourning, he allows himself to be human. He allows himself to hurt.
Every angel has a Calling. It's a fact of life, something written into the stone tablets that lend meaning to a very complicated world. Tony knows this early on in life, but it wasn't something he dwelled on until he was much older and alone in a cruel world.
It takes something special to create an angel. The wings are rare for a reason. It takes something truly unique in a person to be born as a servant of the Lord. They have to be destined for a truly heroic event.
Most Callings are a sacrifice. They are destined to give up their chance at something greater to save someone else - a true hero's sacrifice. They're born into the world knowing that a day may come when they have to put them self last. They will grow into the true definition of a guardian angel.
And when they fulfill their Calling - if they survive through their ultimate sacrifice - they will earn their Halo. Their eyes rim with golden flecks as a sign of their sacrifice.
Because of this special requirement, angels tended to be beautiful, kind human beings. They know they are destined for something truly great, but they are never conceded about it. They have an air of protection and will always go out of their way to help others.
Tony Stark calls it The Angel's Complex. And he hates the concept with every ounce of his being.
His mother had the worse case of Angel's Complex that he's ever experienced. Maybe it was the sense of duty to protect her son, or the constant beatings she took from her husband, or the Calling that told her one day she'd sacrifice herself for the greater good. He can't be sure, but he feels sick even thinking about it. He hates every part of the Angel Complex problem.
It's been years since the day of his parents' deaths, but this day still leaves him in complete shambles. He spends the time wholly wasted as he wonders what their last moments had been. He wonders if they regret anything.
They had died a horrible car crash. He'd been told the excruciating details of the circumstances. His only hope was that the crash was quick and painless, his mother at least deserved that luxury. She deserved a peaceful ending to her time on Earth.
But he knows it was likely long and painful, filled only with suffering. His mother had likely died protecting her husband, the man that treated her like a damaged piece of goods for as long as Tony could remember. She would have died doing her best to fulfill her Calling; she would have believed this is her moment of ultimate sacrifice.
He couldn't blame her. She'd spent every moment of her life defending the two boys she loved most. And even if she wasn't born with an angel's curse, Tony liked to believe that's who she was. She was just a fantastic human being.
It still left him in shambles, though. It didn't make the pain of losing them any less.
Tony is completely wasted now. He can barely stand with the amount of booze pumping through his veins. The room swirls around him as he tries to make his way to his bedroom, but finds himself stumbling to the much closer couch nestled in the corner of his office instead. This will have to do tonight.
He doesn't even notice the beeping of the keypad. He somehow misses the closing of the door and stepping of high heel shoes until it's too late for him to protest. His head is pounding too loudly hear her coming.
When he opens his eyes, all he sees are the large white wings that cloud the corner of his vision. It leaves him dazed for a few moments as he's lost in the memories of his mother.
But the wings don't frame his mother. They mount a much more beautiful woman. They frame the gentle swirling eyes that he finds himself falling for time and time again. They frame the soft smile that always laughs at his jokes. They frame the woman that works so hard for him every day.
"Pepper," he mumbles to her. He didn't know what else to say. This was supposed to be his day of mourning. No one was supposed to see him like this. He was supposed to be alone.
"It's okay, Tony. I know what today means to you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I didn't want you to be alone on such a hard day."
God, she's such an angel.
Tony tries to shake his head. He tries to tell her to go home, that he can handle this by himself, but he can't find the words because Tony's not okay and he doesn't want to lie to her. He just doesn't have the ability to lie to Pepper.
She takes a seat in front of the small sofa and gently lays her hand on top of his. Tony looks deep into her eyes before squeezing his eyes shut. He can't bear to look at her when he's in this state. He doesn't want her to see him so broken.
"She died because of her Calling. We lost her because of it," he finally says. The words pain him to admit, but he can feel a bit of relief as he finally lets them free.
"Your mom?" she asks, only vaguely aware of his parents.
He nods in response. "It isn't fair. How can someone be born to let everything go, to give up everything so that someone else can live? I don't think I can believe in a God that sentences his people to a fate like that. She spent every day of her life keeping us - keeping me - safe."
"And now you get to spend your time here. If she hadn't kept you safe, maybe you wouldn't be here right now. We may have never met. I mean - I don't know how this stuff works any better than you do - but I just have to believe that everything happens for a reason."
"And you're okay with bearing that curse? Okay with giving everything for the people you love?"
"Sometimes the people we love are all we have."
June 17th, 1997
Tony doesn't speak of the Angel Complex ever again. He can't bear to.
It's always there, hidden in the back alleyways of his mind, but there's no need to dwell on it any longer. He needs to let the words go, he's spoken them all, and now he can begin to heal.
He accepts that there will always be angels. There will always be protectors in the world, but if he dwells on the sacrifices they make, he can never be happy. He can't continue to reject the kindness around him. He can't continue to see the world as a dark place.
There's a part of him that regrets his words, laments the way he threw them upon Pepper. She didn't deserve to be insulted that way, thrown to the side and looked down upon for something she can't control. No one can control the circumstances thrust upon them at birth.
He had questioned her Calling that night, questioned her life's purpose. He told her that her life isn't worth living. He called her a curse to humanity.
And yet, she still supports him. She's still there for him. She returns to work each day and does her best to keep his life organized.
God, she's such an angel.
'No,' he corrects his thoughts. 'That's just who Pepper is.'
He needs to do better if he wants to keep her around. He needs to see her as the human she is, not the angel she was born as. He needs to respect her kindness.
He can't afford to lose her. Not only is Pepper Potts the best secretary he's ever had - she's organized, keeps a perfect schedule, and puts up with all his shenanigans - but she's found a way into his life. She makes him feel so happy.
Tony still has his fear when it comes to angels. It's rooted deep down in his blackened heart, twisted into the painful memories he tries to keep locked away, but he can feel the way it pushes through at the worst times in his life. It will always be there.
He's terrified of protection. He's scared that someone will put them self in harm's way to keep him safe. He's terrified to lose someone he loves. And he just can't go through that again.
Not with Pepper. Not with anyone.
But he can't let his fears hold him back any longer either.
"Pepper. What does my schedule look like this weekend?"
She rolls her eyes as she checks the tablet for his schedule. She was talking about a completely unrelated topic, but she knows he was only half listening anyway. She's used to him interrupting her when he's in the zone.
"Your schedule looks pretty clear," she says. "Is there something that you'd like me to add?"
His hands are clammy as he clenches the screwdriver in his hand. He's focusing way too hard on just staying calm as his heart pounds in his chest. His throat feels tight as he struggles to say the words he's rehearsed in his head so many times before.
He can do this. He needs to move on. He can't be afraid of what might happen any longer.
"I thought maybe we could go to a nice restaurant. Get to know each other a bit."
Her feathers shimmy innocently around her body. She's been waiting for Tony to ask for so long, she can barely believe he's doing it now. She needs to be sure. "Like a date?"
"Yes. Like a date. Would you like to go on a date with me, Pepper?"
He doesn't need to hear her response. Her eyes already say yes.
September 18th, 1997
"We have to get up. We can't just lay in bed forever, Tony."
"Mmmmm, no. Don't want to," Tony protests as presses himself closer to her chest. He's tucked into Pepper's warmth as the two snuggle in his oversized bed. There's nowhere else he'd rather be right now.
She laughs as she tries to wiggle her wings free from his grasp. They're currently tucked around the two, creating a bubble of softness and warmth that she knows Tony can't resist. She knows how safe it makes him feel.
He grabs on gently and holds her closer. He doesn't need to try too hard, she's already barely resisting him. Neither of them really want to separate. They'd much rather stay in this moment forever.
"We both have to get to up. I have lots of work to do today."
"You should play hooky today. I have a feeling if you call in sick, your boss will be none the wiser. And then I can keep you all to myself. We can cuddle all day."
"I know you want to do more than cuddle, Tony. I know what that smirk means."
He tucks his head into her neck to hide his laugh. He shakes his head against her as he embraces the heat of her body, tucked away she'll be none the wiser to his growing fondness.
He can't help it that every bit of her drives him crazy. She's like no other woman he's ever met.
The feathers brushing against his bare back would be enough to drive any man insane, but he's not just lusting after her touch anymore. He's falling for this woman, and he's becoming desperate to spend every minute of his life with her.
"We have to get up, Tony."
"Come on, Pepper. Just admit that you want to stay here too. It'll make things so much easier in the long run."
She rolls her eyes as she tightens her arms around him. He's right. She doesn't want to leave him either. She just wants to stay dangerously close to him.
"Fine. You win," she says as she leans in to kiss her boyfriend's lips. They struggle against each other for a few seconds before taking a breath. "I'd like to take a vacation day, Mr. Stark."
"Hmm... Application pending. And application approved."
They wrestle together for a bit longer. The two don't make love, though. They have a whole day ahead of them to do naughty things. And they're both so happy in each other's grasps that they don't find the need to rush the moment.
He holds himself against her chest and listens to her heartbeat. He has so much to worry about in life, but he's soothed by the beating of her essence. He's completely safe in this perfect moment.
He needs to tell her. Even though he's felt it for so long, he needs to make the words known. He needs her to relish in his feelings. Even if she doesn't return them, he needs her to know.
"Pepper?"
"Yes, Tony?"
"I love you so much."
"I know, Tony. I love you too."