.oOo. Chapter One - Confusion Is A State Of Mind .oOo.
21/10/20

Beca & Kimmy-Jin's Dorm Room
Freshman Year

*bleep*... *bleep*... *bleep*... *bleep*

The soft, rhythmic noise carried itself around the room, echoing in the quiet corners and reverberating across the ceiling tiles.

There were no other sounds in the small dorm room, except for the gentle breaths coming from the lone occupant, whose head was currently buried in a large pile of pillows and throw cushions.

Beca Mitchell was half awake, half asleep.

She could hear the - what she would later recall as the most annoying disturbance ever as it was interrupting her favourite dream - distant beeps but could not fathom where they were coming from.

Beca just wanted to stay asleep for as long as possible. It had been so long since she'd felt refreshed when she woke. She had fallen into bed the night before, still dressed in the clothes she'd worn to the radio station for her afternoon shift with Luke, the station manager. He'd taken a liking to her since she covered the Spring Break weekend and proved a bit of a hit with her twist on the contemporary pop music favoured by most college students.

*bleep*... *bleep*... *bleep*... *bleep*

She groaned, the slight rattle in her throat loud in the soundless room as she breathed out her annoyance. She was cold but devoid of energy to reach out for the blanket on the end of her bed. She needed more time to rest, not quite ready to face the day.

*bleep*... *bleep*... *bleep*... *bleep*

"Kimmy-Jin, is that you?" Beca croaked out, unable to get her eyes to open properly.

*bleep*... *bleep*... *bleep*... *bleep*

"Kimmy-Jin?" Beca called out, her voice a little stronger. "Please keep it down. I'm trying to sleep."

*bleep*... *bleep*... *bleep*... *bleep*

Beca forced one eye open and with great effort, turned her head towards Kimmy-Jin's bed. Her eye felt heavy immediately and she blinked a few times, trying to rid herself of sleep.

The room was empty. Kimmy-Jin's bed was neatly made, as always. The white starkness burned a hole in the back of Beca's brain as she shivered, despite the warmth in the room.

Everything ached.

She tried to clear her throat but it was no good. Her brain felt on fire as she settled back onto the pillow. She blindly reached down for something to keep her warm and her fingers brushed against a starchy, stiff blanket that she had no recollection of owning.

She shook her head at the lack of memory, vowing that she'd book an appointment with the campus doctor as soon as she was more coherent and tried to get back to sleep.

She had been in the middle of a delicious dream and was desperate to see how it ended.

She'd had the dream before. It was one she'd had on repeat for the last week or so. Unknowing why, she felt at peace in the dream, almost happy. This was a relatively new feeling for her; the girl with the built up wall around her heart.

She'd tried to let people in but it was taking time. She was slowly learning to trust and not keep everyone at arm's length. Her unconventional upbringing didn't afford her luxuries like confidence in others or love.

She felt the pull of sleep around her eyes and as she succumbed, back to her dream, she saw the one person who'd managed to worm their way into her conscious thoughts.

She smiled in her sleep.

.oOo.

It was just Chloe and her.

They were driving in Chloe Beale's old Thunderbird, fast and carefree. The road was clear, no houses or signs of life for miles as they pushed the car beyond the speed limits.

The roof was packed neatly onto the backseat – the mechanics of why it didn't get stored anywhere else completely lost on Beca - and the warm, late afternoon sun was beating down on them both. The car was old, and the cracks on the dash matched the rips in the leather seat. The air conditioning no longer worked, satellite navigation was twenty five years into the future and there was a definitive Thelma and Louise – yes Beca had been made to watch that movie with Jesse - feel about the vehicle.

One of Beca's mixes was playing through the clunky radio and she could just make out Luke's dulcet tones over the sound of the road as he introduced one of her favourite mash ups next.

Beca was slouched down low in the seat, managing to keep Mother Nature's cordless hair drier from matting her long, soft hair too badly. She was laughing about something and nothing with Chloe who was driving with just one hand on the wheel. Her other was reaching out as far as she could to catch the wind as they drove towards the hills.

They were carefree and happy.

Having managed to successfully escape from Bella's practice undetected, they were both enjoying their afternoon without the iron fisted, obsessively strict, overly routined Aubrey Posen and her beady eye. Chloe struggled to say anything untoward about her friend while Beca had no problem.

It was no secret that Aubrey Poison – Beca's latest nickname for the Bella's Captain – and she didn't always get along.

Chloe called Beca a bad influence as they left practice that afternoon but Beca would say that she never forced Chloe to leave through the back exit. She didn't make Chloe take the roof of her Thunderbird off and not once did she make her pop the key in the ignition and drive out of the student parking lot.

Chloe had gotten nervous, seemingly not much of a rule breaker, but as the miles passed, she began to care less. Chloe claimed that Beca had lured her away with the promise of an ice cream – something Beca didn't deny, even though there was no truth to it – and that was the only reason for the desertion. Ice cream was not on the list of allowed foods that Aubrey had oh-so-kindly issued them all with in the second week of Bella's practice, way back in the first semester.

Beca glanced over at Chloe. She took a moment to really look at her. Chloe's red tresses were billowing behind her. She'd long since given up trying to keep the curly mane under control and just let her hair fan out as they drove. She said she would worry about trying to get a brush through it when she got home!

Beca loved Chloe's hair.

She always wanted to reach out and touch it. But she never did. They were just friends and while Beca knew Chloe wouldn't bat an eyelid at the familiar action, Beca didn't trust herself.

Chloe caught Beca staring at her and gave Beca one of her trademark winks and as usual, Beca beamed inside. She did love that cheeky wink and wondered to herself if there was something more to their friendship. She didn't feel she needed friends, was quite content with her own company but there was something about the redhead that fascinated her.

Perhaps it was Chloe's sincerity. Or her friendliness. Or just how kind she was to everyone. Beca hated the way Aubrey spoke to her on occasion but Chloe would brush it off, citing Aubrey's bad day as the reason for the moodiness. Chloe always seemed to know what to say and do. Whether it was a smile, a wink, an elbow nudge or one of her big, warm bearhugs that made the recipients ribs ached for an hour, Chloe just knew.

Beca was a fist bump, high five, back slapping kind of girl rather than finding enjoyment being wrapped up in an envelope of warm-cookie-dough-hugginess but she loved the closeness she had with Chloe and accepted that it would never change. She was a personal space invader and that was that. Beca secretly loved Chloe's lack of awareness of boundaries.

Not that she'd tell her that.

"You okay?" Chloe asked as the song changed onto the radio. Beca reached out to change the station, unable to listen to One Direction screech out their latest release.

Beca nodded her response. Chloe's question helped her forget Aubrey screaming in her face three hours beforehand that she was a square peg in a round hole as far as the Bella's were concerned. Beca didn't need Aubrey's approval, in fact, she didn't really care what Aubrey thought of her at all. Aubrey would blow hot and cold with her but what she didn't like was being reamed out in front of the girls she thought of as friends.

In their defence, they had the good graces to look embarrassed at Aubrey's outburst and Chloe tried to make it better, explaining that Aubrey was stressed about Finals and waiting to hear back about an internship that summer. Chloe always tried to make things better.

Beca sighed in her sleep, tucking the blanket up under her chin.

She knew what was coming next and both loved and hated this next part of the dream.

Beca tried to warn Chloe. Every time she opened her mouth to speak, no words came out. She tried yelling, whispering, shouting, singing but she couldn't get Chloe to hear her. She tried to reach out to her, touch her, anything to get her attention but her arms were unable to move.

Chloe kept on driving with the same serene look on her face.

The storm hit them hard and fast. It was similar to a scene change in a movie and within the blink of an eye, the Heavens opened and both girls were pelted with big, fat, heavy and very cold raindrops.

Beca could never change or influence the outcome of the sequence of events. She wasn't surprised this time was no different. There was a lot about her life that she felt she couldn't change so why would the weather in a dream be any different. She was taking part in a college degree she wasn't particularly interested in, playing nice with her father to appease her mother - despite them being divorced - and having to conform to Aubrey's stupid rules.

She rolled with it, slightly too lazy to do anything about it all.

It was at this point, she usually awoke from the dream. She always thought it was the stress of trying to warn Chloe that the rain was coming. This time though, the dream began to roll on further.

"Chloe, pull over!" Beca called out to the redhead over the sound of the rain falling all around them. She could see puddles of water forming in the foot well and the cup holder.

"Hmm?" Chloe said quietly, keeping her eyes on the road.

"We need to get the roof up before we drown." Beca laughed as she undid her seat belt. She pointed ahead to what looked like a side road.

Chloe chuckled back at her friend, not lifting her foot from the gas pedal.

"Dude, seriously?" Beca said as they passed the only pulling in place she'd seen for an age.

Chloe laughed again, throwing her head back before throwing a knowing smile at her friend. She nodded towards the road again and Beca saw a truck stop ahead. She'd seen no signs for it before but there it was, in all of its redneck truck stop glory.

Chloe slowed the Thunderbird as she pulled onto the slightly worn and pot holed road, finding an empty spot with ease. There didn't seem to be anyone around, just an aged minibus that looked similar to the Trebles bus.

Chloe slipped into neutral and switched off the engine, unplugged her seat belt and laughed out loud at the sight of a very damp Beca. She gathered up her curls into a messy bun and popped open the drivers door.

Beca was confused as to how Chloe managed to look so gorgeous when she was soaking wet. As Chloe walked to the back of the Thunderbird, Beca noticed Chloe wasn't as wet as she first thought, which confused her even more.

Beca fought with the door handle of the ancient car, managing to open it after several tries. Her bare feet squelched in the sodden grass as she looked down to see they were now parked in a field, a couple of rolling hills in the near distance.

'Huh?' She shook her head to clear her thoughts, confused as to where they were.

She moved back to the side of the car, holding onto it as she began to slip and slide in the soggy mud. She waited for Chloe to open the back door so they could get the heavy roof back on the car. They needed to hurry so everything didn't short circuit in the car; the last thing she wanted to do was to call Aubrey - the only other Bella with their own car - to come and rescue them. Beca didn't mind getting wet, her concern was for the car.

"Chloe, come on, help me with this thing." Beca yelled over the raging water. It sounded like a waterfall all around them. She released the door handle and started fussing with the canopy. "Chloe?"

Beca lifted her head to see where Chloe was. She looked left and right but she was nowhere to be seen.

"Chloe?" She called again.

Beca spun around, a strange, burning sensation flooding through her, wondering if Chloe had fallen somewhere. She left the side of the car and scrambled up the embarkment that she would have sworn on her favourite guitar hadn't been there before. Panic began to bubble in her throat. Suddenly, she caught side of her happy-go-lucky friend standing in the middle of the road, arms outstretched, twirling like a child in the pouring rain.

Beca blinked as she watched her friend for a moment; the sheer joy on her face making her smile.

In spite of the rain, Chloe had no mascara running down her face, yet Beca's eyes were stinging with her own eyeliner. As she spun around, Beca decided that Chloe had never looked more beautiful. She was almost glowing, ethereal in some way. The look of joy on Chloe's face was filling Beca's closed off heart with a warmth she'd never felt before.

Beca almost couldn't breathe as she watched her. Those who say sunshine brings happiness had never seen Chloe Beale dance in the rain. It was so typical of Chloe. She would always see the delight, wonder and awe in everything around her.

Beca opened her mouth to call for Chloe's help again but somewhere from far away in the distance, the sort of sound she'd question whether she'd really heard it or just imagined it, Beca heard a strange, loud, metallic popping sound that echoed all around her and sent a pulse whizzing through her core.

She stumbled forward, feeling something knock her down to the ground and onto her knees. She looked up at Chloe who'd suddenly stopped spinning and stared at Beca as thought it was all she could see.

Chloe's beautiful cerulean blue eyes widened with fear and surprise and her legs began to crumble beneath her as she continued to stare intently at her best friend.

"You okay?" Beca called out, scrambling to gain purchase on the slippery ground.

Chloe's eyes fixed on Beca, the look of sheer terror etched on her face as she clutched her stomach. Her smile dropped as her knees buckled and Beca rushed forward to catch her, before she hit the ground.

"Chloe!" Beca yelled as she reached her and caught Chloe just as her knees hit the gravel. "Chloe, what's happened?"

Beca helped lower her to the ground as Chloe's eyes began to close. As a tiny bubble of blood popped from her nose, she opened her mouth to speak.

"... bleep..." was all that Chloe said.

"What?!" Beca cried out. "What are you trying to say? Chloe?"

"... bleep..."

Then everything went black.

.oOo.