She dials the number she has memorized quicker than any. It's ringing. One ring, and just before the second one he picks up, just like he did yesterday and the day before that and the one before that and…
"Hey," he answers in his deep, warm, comforting voice.
"Hey," she says and after a beat adds: "I miss you so much."
"I miss you too. I love you."
"I love you."
It's the same start as to all the phone calls they've had since he moved almost a week ago. He called her soon as they got to St. Louis and they've talked on the phone every night since, for hours each time. Tonight she has something new to ask him, since fall break is over. "So how did school go?"
He sighs before answering.
"You know what's worse than being the new kid in class in the middle of senior year?"
"No?"
"Being the new kid in class in the middle of senior year who just moved here from Hawkins."
"Aw, I'm sorry. Was it bad?" She asks even though she knows the answer. This was a worry Jonathan expressed to her soon as the move was final. He was very much not looking forward to having to start at a new school in the middle of senior year, full of new people and having to be the new kid, the one from the now infamous town at that.
"Yeah. I wasn't even going to mention it but the teacher said it. Everyone stared at me like I was an alien or something. So much for blending in."
"Ugh, I'm so sorry."
"Someone did come up to talk to me though."
"Oh?"
"To ask me if it's true that the 'chemical leak' made everyone in town crazy psychopaths and if I came here to escape it or if I knew people who died in the fire."
"Oh."
"Everyone else just stares and whispers behind your back."
"Oh. That sucks. I wish I could come to St. Louis right now and kick their ass. Every single stupid kid at your stupid school."
"Me too. Because then you'd be here."
"I know. I wish I was."
"I wish you were too."
"Have you told your mom? About school."
"No, I don't want her to feel bad about that. Think she already knows I didn't want to move and feels bad about it enough."
"Yeah. She had her reasons though."
"I know. Still, think she's second-guessing herself. She hates her new job too, apparently her boss is an asshole, not at all like Donald."
"That sucks. Tell her I said hi. And Will and El of course."
"Yeah, they say hi too. So, how's Hawkins?"
"Eh, like it is. Ghost town. Except for the reporters still coming from out of town. Did you see the Cutting Edge report?"
"Yeah."
"I still see reporters everywhere, at what's left of the mall, and at city hall and stuff. If only they knew the real story."
"Yeah."
"Imagine if we just told it, just wrote down all that really happened."
It's a thought she's entertained many times in the past. Ever since they together with Murray watered down the real story to a chemical leak to get justice for Barb. They had to do it then, to get justice. But really she hates having to have watered it down. She knows the truth and she wishes it was out there. People should know what really happened then. And all that's happened since.
"Hah, yeah. People wouldn't believe us."
"Yeah I know. But still, I keep thinking about it. And like, given all that's happened, what's being told now… maybe people would believe at least a bit more. Of the real story. I wonder what would happen if we opened the curtain a bit more," she muses.
"What did you have in mind?" Jonathan asks. She detects caution in his voice. And she knows he's right to be, she knows it's too risky. She just wishes they could do something more.
"I don't know I…" she hesitates, realizing maybe it's not a good idea to talk about this over the phone. The Lab is gone but… are they still listening? She hasn't thought about it for a long time, kind of figured after the Lab shut down so did the surveillance but… she can't be certain of that. "Never mind. We maybe shouldn't… maybe we should talk about something else, something less depressing."
"Yeah…" Jonathan answers with weight behind it after a slight pause. She senses he understands the real meaning behind her words, behind her sudden change of mind. "How's Mike?"
"Missing his girlfriend like crazy. And Will," she answers, thankful for his change of topic.
They continue talking about safe topics for hours until they're both in bed. About their siblings and school and St. Louis and the job at the gas station he managed to secure yesterday and Thanksgiving when they'll finally see each other again. And a lot about missing each other. She falls asleep to the sound of him breathing and wishes he was here or she was there so she could hear it better and feel him holding her. So she wouldn't be alone.
She's alone when she goes to sleep, she's alone when she wakes up. She's always alone now it feels like. She goes to school and there's no Jonathan, and no Barb. No Steve even since he's graduated. She sees him around town sometimes but it's odd, they know they can trust each other when it matters, in life and death situations but just seeing each other out and about in non threatening situations feels weird, they don't really have anything to talk about then. They're just too different, she feels. But they'll always share… all this shit they've been put through.
School is so goddamn weird now. Not only because Jonathan isn't there anymore, or Barb. But also because Heather Holloway and almost a dozen other students are just gone too. Due to the "fire" at the mall. She can't believe they managed to sell that story. 30 people dead in freak fire at the mall — at night. Why would 30 random townspeople be at the mall at night on the 4th of July? She's so tired. So tired of sitting through memorials for dead classmates knowing the truth of what really happened but not being allowed to say it. Having the answers to all the questions she hears people ask again and again: What were they doing at the mall, why did my son/daughter/husband/wife/mother/father/sister/brother/uncle/aunt/grandma/grandpa just randomly leave the fair/house/park/whatever? How did any of this happen? What happened to our town?
But not being able to share the answers. She knows it all. And people should know what she knows. Ideally, everything. But she knows that may not be possible… at least not all right away. But they need to know more. At least know for real who is responsible for destroying their town, who has blood on their hands. The government. People has started to lose trust in the government, with the chemical leak story, with the mall fire story and Mayor Kline's downfall. But it's not enough. That's not even close to enough. People should know how dark and twisted and evil and insidious their government is. How it spies on them, how it experiments on them, how it kills and covers up.
At lunch she sits with Ally and some of the other girls in their class. At least they accepted her joining their table when she had to rejoin the cafeteria after Jonathan moved away and lunch couldn't be spent with him on the hood of his car anymore. That's something at least, but it feels stilted and not just because she didn't hang around them much for months but in the way something feels off for the whole school. Everyone's still reeling and adjusting after everything. Not only the gaping hole in the student body but also all the other lost lives. Ally lost her uncle. They don't talk much about that. She expressed her condolences several times and held her tongue every time Ally mentioned how none in the family can understand why on earth he just walked away from the fairground, leaving Ally's young cousins behind, to disappear off to the mall. They all have stories like that. There's 30.000 people in town. 30 of them died at once. Everyone at the least knows someone who knew someone who died.
She eats quickly and excuses herself to the library. Because she's fed up with it. With being alone in this hell town. The people responsible for her loneliness is the ones responsible for turning dreary old Hawkins into Hell Town, USA. They killed everyone. They made this into a place that Joyce felt she couldn't stay in anymore. They changed Hawkins from her boring old hometown that she was looking forward to getting out of one day to a ghost town she's desperate to escape. She writes a letter to Jonathan. She's never written him a letter before, never had cause to, but now she has. Because whether he's here or 330 miles away he's hers. Her boyfriend, soulmate and partner in truth-seeking and monster hunting. And it feels safer to take this per letter rather than the phone.
Dear Jonathan
I miss you lots and love you more. But we can talk more about that on the phone. But I didn't want to say this over the phone last night, maybe I'm paranoid but I want to be safe.
I'm done with this, keeping my mouth shut and not saying anything. The truth needs to be out there. People need to know what really happened. Maybe not everything, but as much as possible. At least more than they know now. A chemical leak, a freak fire? It's not good enough. More than 30 people are dead and people don't know how they really died but they don't accept the story they've been fed. Not really. The chemical leak story was one thing, but the fire at the mall? People are still asking the same questions they've done ever since summer. They wonder why their loved ones went there for no reason in the middle of the night on the 4th of fucking July. It doesn't make sense to anyone. No one's got closure.
This place is a ghost town. They've killed people. They've made it uninhabitable, at least for some like your family. And it's not okay, none of it is. People need to know. Maybe they can't know everything, I'm not naïve. But they need to know more. We had to water it down last year, to get justice for Barb. But I think people can take more now. At least a bit more than the watered down version. People have started to question the government, to lose faith in it. But they deserve to know just how evil and twisted it truly is.
I know we can't tell everything. I don't want to tell anything that puts you or your family or anyone else in danger. But we have to tell more. Open the curtain a little more. I don't know how yet, but I'm going to do it once I've figured out how to. But I can't do it without you, I won't do it without you. Because we're a team. And I know it doesn't sit right with you either. I need your help. What do you think we can do? What can we expose? What should we expose? Please think about it and get back to me. Yes I know it will be dangerous but I've thought about it and we can and should do more. It just can't be like this.
I love you.
Your Nancy
After school she drives the kids to Family Video. She puts the letter in a post box across the street before walking after the kids into the video store. The kids are as always crowding in the sci-fi section bickering over which movie to rent. She casually strolls around the other shelves, letting her gaze mindlessly wander around them while she waits. Not really taking anything she sees in as her mind is preoccupied with the question of what to do, how they could go about opening the curtain more.
"Looking for anything special?" A voice suddenly asks from behind her. She turns around to find Keith there. He's always kind of given her the creeps, she's felt him staring at her before, when she's taken the kids here or before that to the arcade, or seeing him in school or just in town. He's always stared, never really talked to her before. Presumably seeing her first with Steve and then with Jonathan made him keep his distance.
"Not really, just waiting for the knuckleheads to decide."
"You just let them pick the movie, no input?"
"Well I'm not going to watch it with them."
"Oh, right. Of course," Keith quickly answers. Pausing briefly he looks her up and down and seems to make his mind up about something. He runs a hand through his greasy hair and stands up a bit straighter before continuing. "Well, so in that case, you're free tonight?"
"Uh… not really."
"Come on, let me take you out, we can go to The Hawk. I'll let you pick. Anything you want, you can choose something girly and I won't mind, I'm not like those other guys."
"No thank you."
"Come on, give a guy a chance. I know I'm not what you usually go for but you gotta appreciate I'm going out on a limb here and it takes some guts to do so."
"Okay…? Um, still no."
"Why not? Come on…"
"Well, for one I have a boyfriend…"
"Byers? Didn't he move away?"
"Yes? And? He's still my boyfriend."
"Come on-"
Really tiring of Keith and this whole thing now, she interrupts him.
"Listen, Jonathan's still my boyfriend even though he doesn't live here anymore. And even if he wasn't my boyfriend the answer — which I shouldn't have to give you three times — would still be no. Even if we were the last two people on earth the answer would still be no, Keith."
"Swing and a miss, Keefer," Steve, who's just appeared from the back, calls out. "And no use to even go up to bat at against that, Byers and her are like peanut butter and jelly."
She has to think twice about his metaphor but she thinks it's a compliment.
"Sticky and sickeningly sweet?" Robin, who's joined Steve behind the counter, butts in.
"I meant belong together!" Steve retorts, looking at her. That's sweet, she appreciates that. They've come a long way in a year.
"Sure, sure. Anyway, you need to learn to take a fucking hint, Keith. A girl tells you no the first time she's not gonna tell you anything else the third time and she shouldn't be hassled with the question again and again," Robin lays out.
She doesn't know Robin all that well, never really hung out with her at school even though they're in the same grade. They still don't talk a lot at school even though they share this secret now, just polite greetings and sometimes little small talk. It's weird to try and strike up a friendship out of nothing more than the fact that they almost died together with their mutual friend…s. Steve let slip that Robin apparently used to think she was "a priss" but that "the whole mall… battle changed her mind". She's not sure what gave Robin the impression that she was "a priss" but hey. She's also still not sure just what the relationship between Steve and Robin is, Steve insists they're just friends and they sure don't seem like anything more than that but she never thought Steve would be the kind of guy who'd just be friends with a girl and nothing more.
"We'll take these two," her brother interrupts, placing Gremlins and the third Star Trek movie on the counter. Both of which she's sure Mike and his friends have seen at least three times before already.
"And this," Dustin cuts in, heaping a huge pile of candy onto the counter. "Family and friends discount?" He adds, winking at Steve.
"Fine," Steve rolls his eyes and starts ringing it all up.
"There is no discount, Harrington! Come on!" Keith protests.
"Oh come on dude, you're gonna get all pissy just because you struck out with Nancy? That's so lame," Lucas throws back.
"Yeah, real lame. And gee, a real mystery why girls don't like you. Who wouldn't like a lame, Cheeto-smelling cheapskate who can't take no for an answer?" Max adds.
Keith mutters something under his breath and shuffles off into the back. Steve rings them up.
"You alright Nance?" He asks while hammering away at the register.
"I'm fine."
"How's Byers doing in St. Louis?"
"Alright I guess," she shrugs. "Not worse than this ghost town. But imagine being the new kid in school in the middle of senior year and everyone knows you're from here."
"Ouch, yeah that's gotta be rough. And Byers whole blending into the background routine…"
"… didn't go that way really no. God I wish it was Thanksgiving already so I could just go there."
Steve nods and they say goodbye and head out. She drives home and heads up to her room while the kids all disappear into the basement. She tries to focus on homework but it's difficult with other things gnawing at her. After twenty minutes of not being able to focus on her essay for English at all she decides to just put it away for now and opens a new blank page in her notebook.
How to open the curtain and make people see the truth, and possibly tear down the government, without putting any of us at risk
Under no circumstances use anyone's real name or personal info when getting the story out there.
PRIVATE: Write down the full story of what's actually happened. Only show it to the people who know. Then work out what from that we can expose and how without 1) Risking anyone's safety 2) Risking people not believing it.
To do:
Do more research into the Lab. Learn everything about it and the projects. El is 11. What happened to 1-10?
Keep watch of the Lab and the whole town for suspicious activity.
Find out everything possible about the Russians. Research. Talk more to Steve and Robin about it. Joyce and Murray.
Evidence we have: Our tape, Jonathan's photo, Dustin's tape of the Russian message.
Can we get more evidence? What's left at the Lab? And the mall?
Witness accounts… there are 13 of us who know the real story. We can always back each other up if it comes to that…
She puts her pen down and thinks. She needs to check out the Lab. She needs to go to the library to do research. There must've been things written about the Lab before all that happened. She needs to talk to Steve and Robin about the Russians and the mall. And Joyce and Murray. And she needs to talk to El. About the Lab. About what her number means.
Writing down all she knows about everything that's happened is a daunting job, but she figures that's where she can begin. She can fill in more of what she doesn't fully know later. She just wants to get it all down on paper, to organize for herself if nothing else. She figures it's good to have a framework to work from, to subtract from. That's how she figures they should work on getting more of the truth out there. She knows she can't share all this right away, but having it all down they can then work out what they can start with. She's not sure just where to begin though. So much has happened over the last three years. But really it started long before that. Finally she decides to just start with Will's disappearance, because that's where it really all started for her. It's an arduous process, it takes her hours to work through it all. She's at it until her mother calls that dinner is ready, and resumes it after.
"Yeah, they say hi too. So, how's Hawkins?"
"Eh, like it is. Ghost town. Except for the reporters still coming from out of town. Did you see the Cutting Edge report?"
"Yeah."
"I still see reporters everywhere, at what's left of the mall, and at city hall and stuff. If only they knew the real story."
"Yeah."
"Imagine if we just told it, just wrote down all that really happened."
"Hah, yeah. People wouldn't believe us."
"Yeah I know. But still, I keep thinking about it. And like, given all that's happened, what's being told now… maybe people would believe at least a bit more. Of the real story. I wonder what would happen if we opened the curtain a bit more."
"What did you have in mind?"
"I don't know I… Never mind. We maybe shouldn't… maybe we should talk about something else, something less depressing."
"Yeah…"
This could be something, perhaps. Worth bringing to attention at least. She presses the button to call her supervisor over and rewinds. He comes over and listens to it. Nods.
"Isolate this part and make a copy. Is the call still ongoing?"
"Yes, subject changed back to mundane things though."
"Keep on it and let me know if anything else of note comes up."
"Will do. Here's the copy."
"Nice work. I'll take it from here."