We Knew This Wouldn't be Easy
I needed to know what was going on. Every text I sent came back with a two word response. That's when I got a response at all. And they were coming far and few between.
What's up?
You there!
Nothing. Not even a 'Take care." That had been a common response lately. It's been 27 days and all I get is take care.
This was too much. I needed to hear her voice. Hell, I needed her with me but that couldn't happen right now. I mentally worked out what time it would be for Elle. There was no way around it. I would need to get her out of class. Sure, she might be mad at first, but we needed to talk. Normally not the four words anyone wanted to hear: We need to talk.
I waited impatiently for the office lady to get Elle. I may have laid it on a bit thick claiming to be Elle's Dad, but if it got Elle on the phone, it was worth it.
"Hello?" God how I've missed her voice. And the rest of her.
"Hey, what's going on with you?" Damn, I sounded like half the girls I used to date before Elle.
"What? Uh what do you mean Dad?" Nice save Elle.
"Why aren't you texting me back?" Ok, so that might have been an exaggeration. It was only one time she hadn't texted me back. Probably because she was in class.
"Well," Something tells me Elle's not alone on the other end of the phone. "Um... What? Oh my God, that's horrible news about Aunt ... Rose." I know for a fact Elle doesn't have an Aunt Rose. My girlfriend being best friends with my Brother all of her life meant I knew more about Elle than I probably needed to.
"Is everything ok?" I was right. The office lady is close by.
"No. Could I please have a moment in private?" Good thinking Elle. We needed some privacy. This was not going to wait a minute longer.
"Sure." Wow, I must have been more convincing than I thought because the office lady sounded as though she was totally buying it.
"Just give me a second. I'm stepping into the office to take a second to process this." I hear the sound of a door closing. "Why are you pretending to be my Dad?"
"It was the only way I could think of to get you on the phone." So I was desperate. I was big enough to admit it. Also I didn't think it would go down well with my parents if I ditched classes to get on a plane to visit my girlfriend when I'd only got here 27 days ago.
"That is not true." Seriously? I thought we would be talking every day. And she'd barely spoken to me.
"No. It is true. It is true. You barely call. When you text, you send these weird two word text messages, like you know "Take care""Talk soon". That's when an unbelievable thought entered my head. "Are you breaking up with me?" Ok, so now I really sounded like a teenage girl.
"What? No, no, no, no. The opposite." That's not what it sounded and looked like.
"Then what, why? Why are you ignoring me?" Moving to Boston and leaving Elle had been so much harder than I had thought it would be. I knew it wouldn't be easy. I hadn't realised that my past would come back to haunt me. Now I knew how all of those girls had felt when I hadn't returned texts or calls. This was brutal.
"I, I don't know. I guess, I guess I'm trying to be mature. And not come off like some clingy girlfriend." Great. Elle was being mature and I was turning into a teenage girl.
"Elle, I told you I wanted to make this work." I had meant it then and I meant it now. If we had been in the same room, I would have sworn on a stack of bibles.
"I know, but people always say that when they leave. I just wanted to give you space so that you could figure out if this was really what you want." How could she not know? How could she not be sure? Had I not made myself perfectly clear?
"This is crazy. I don't want space. Space is not what I want. I don't want space. I want you. I want you around me all the time. I want you with me right now actually. I just want you, ok? Text me, call me. Send me a messenger pigeon, whatever it is." How could I make myself any clearer? When did I get so clingy? "Just don't give me space, ok?" At least I had her laughing. That was a good sign.
"Ok." This was why we needed to talk. Text messages could be misinterpreted. Especially when they were only two words long.
"Ok." Things were going to be ok. I just missed her more than I had thought I would. More than I'd ever missed anyone in my life. Elle and I could make this long distance thing work. We just needed to communicate.