The morning wind was cold against Nagisa's body.

He was dressed pretty heavily, since the plan was to ride towards a major battle, but still he was chilled to the bone. Potechi kept bumping against his side, asking for attention, but Nagisa couldn't give it to him. He couldn't take the wolf's pitiful looks towards Karma's tent, wondering where Karma was and why they couldn't go see him.

Honestly, Nagisa hadn't slept that night. Not that he could have, if he wanted to. Most of their soldiers had taken the wedding as an excuse to celebrate. He couldn't blame them for that. They'd been dragged halfway across the kingdom as it was, and into a battle that was set up to be a distraction. A night to celebrate a new alliance, and a wedding… he couldn't be mad at that.

It almost meant, as one of the most senior people there, he couldn't excuse himself from it all.

Admittedly it had helped keep his mind off things, but still when everything had died down he couldn't find rest. He'd stayed frozen in his position, not too far away from that main tent itself, and waited until morning. He'd expected Karma to be up at the breaking of dawn. He was by no means a morning person, but Nagisa would have thought that something as pressing as the war was reason enough.

The preparations had actually begun without him. Of course, it took some time to mobilise an entire army, especially with the addition of Yukimura's forces. There was a lot of reorganising to do. Unfortunately for him, Nagisa wasn't the best person to make that call. He was once again ever thankful for Karasuma, whose word everyone accepted.

But that had all happened at first light, and there was no sign of Karma. It wasn't like Nagisa could strike up a conversation with him like nothing had changed, but that didn't mean he didn't want to see him at all! It was making him feel anxious, all the waiting around. At the very least, just a glimpse of him… Even though a part of him knew he'd come to regret it.

Some sort of maid dove into the tent, then, and Nagisa couldn't help but feel the hairs raise on the back of his neck. Was something wrong? Of course, he knew that it wasn't weird or anything for there to be an attendant. But, still, weren't there more pressing issues? It wasn't like Kayano had attendants the entire way there.

The maid came back out again, a crimson stained sheet in her arms.

Nagisa felt sick to his stomach. They wouldn't have… would they? Right after he and Karma… Nagisa couldn't breathe at the thought. What happened to marriage for show?! Even when Karma thought he'd been a girl, he hadn't touched him. Was there something wrong with him? Most of all, though, Nagisa couldn't shake the feeling of intense betrayal.

"Nagisa."

He turned, eyes meeting with Rio Nakamura's. "I-"

She sighed dramatically. "I don't care what you're doing. Your men want orders, and they can't take them from Karasuma."

"We should wait."

"You're in charge, de-facto," she pointed out. "They're pretty much your armies. You need to give them some kind of command, if they're fighting in your name and everything. There's already questions, about why you're not the one marrying into an alliance."

He swallowed. "T-tell them to prepare to march."

A wicked smile came onto her face. "Tell them yourself."

Nagisa didn't like taking charge. He… really would have kept his life as a nameless assassin forever. Even if it meant never seeing anyone again… at least that he was good at. It was less complicated. Nagisa was built to slit throats, not to shout orders at armies. A large part of him wanted to just ride towards the crownlands alone, and take the King out in the best way he could.

He was on the wrong path.

It was better than just sitting around though, he figured. He picked himself up, finding his own horse. At least that way, he didn't have to feel so short. At the very least, their armies had been preparing already, and were mostly ready to leave. He did feel weird though, riding right to the front. He would have been more than happy to just let Karma take all the commands.

He tried his best to project his voice, at least. "We'll start to ride south shortly… Line up with the siege weapons."

They were the most complicated thing to transport, at least.

Right then, as movement started to begin, it seemed Karma was finally showing himself. Nagisa couldn't help but feel intense annoyance. He was on top of a horse, though, so he couldn't just turn his back. Well, maybe he could turn the horse? Nagisa did actually do that, which may have been petty, but he deemed it necessary.

It wasn't long until they headed off after that, with Lord Yukimura riding out to accompany them at least until the edge of his own territory. There was an edge in the air, and Nagisa could feel it too strongly. Well, what else was he expecting? They were riding into a war after all. Nagisa had already given up any semblance of 'comfortable'.

He missed his nameless life, truthfully. Things were simpler then at least. If only they hadn't already come so far, he might turn around and run away with Potechi again. Now that he'd paid off his debts, he'd be free to do whatever he wanted… He wished, but he also couldn't let all of this be for nothing.

Of course, they did have to rest their horses, even if the mood really did seem to lean in the direction of wanting to get out as soon as possible with their entire army at the ready. At each one of those points, Nagisa did his best to avoid everyone, slipping off somewhere hidden, and acting too busy to be disturbed if he was actually discovered.

"Long time no see, Lady Nagisa."

He jumped, dropping the piece of wood he'd been pretending to pick up. That voice… "I-irina?"

She leant to the side casually. "Well, don't sound so disappointed to see me."

"I'm surprised!" He stood up properly, taking her in. Her clothes were a lot more practical than usual, but she wasn't dressed as a man or anything, though her hair was also tied back.

"I was bored," she pouted. "That Lord Karasuma, he practically locked me in a tower!"

He blinked. "So it's been going well between you two then?"

"Of course," she looked down, though, almost like she was embarrassed. "He asked for my hand."

It took Nagisa a few moments to get a picture of that clearly. Imagining Irina… married? It was a hard concept for him. Not that Irina was unmarriageable by any standards, not at all. It was just… she was quite independently minded. And Karasuma always seemed quite traditional to him. Nagisa couldn't picture them fitting in a real marriage.

Regardless of that, though, he felt at least a little bit happy for her. How could he not? They had a complicated past, but Nagisa genuinely owed a lot to her. And even though the idea of Irina running a household was humorous to him, to say the least, it was definitely something he could come to accept. At least someone might be happy.

"Congratulations," he ended up saying.

It immediately seemed like her confidence was rebuilt, and she stood firmer. "Don't say congratulations to me when there might not even be a wedding."

"Huh?"

There was something somewhat wild in her eyes. "You look pathetic right now. Distracted. Why are you moping, huh? You're about to go into war."

Nagisa felt the urge to defend himself. "I'm not distracted-"

"I would have thought a year with Lovro would toughen you up," she scoffed. "I get it, you're sad, your first love is married to another. But that's no excuse to let your guard down when you need it the most. If I don't get my wedding because you lose this war, I'll gut you."

Was that seriously her main concern?! "The marriage was my suggestion."

"Oh," she stills. "Well, it was a good one. I'm not so cruel as to deny praise when it's deserved."

Nagisa just wished it wasn't like that. That this marriage wasn't just a political play in favour of their victory in the war. Of course, the entire reason he ended up tangled up in this was from a similar arrangement. It made him feel tainted inside, though, more so than actually killing someone. Like some kind of stench on his hands.

"My mood is fine," he tried his best to remain sturdy.

"Hm," she glared.

Perhaps it would be better to change the subject. "Does Karasuma even know you're here?"

Irina looked at him like he was stupid. "It's none of his concern."

"So what are you doing?" Nagisa was genuinely curious. "Unless you rode halfway across the kingdom just to yell about your wedding."

"You should learn to pay more attention to the whispers in the shadows," she said. "I thought you knew that."

"What whispers?"

There was a look in her eyes, and Nagisa just about caught her pull a small pouch from her skirts. Before he could react, she blew the powder – thankfully harmless – in his eyes, which blinded him for just a moment. He batted the remnants of the powder away as quickly as he could, allowing himself vision again, but it had already given her enough time to escape.

It was a basic trick, but unfortunately pretty effective if you had enough stealth to escape quickly.

All of a sudden, Nagisa felt lethargic. He was so far out of his depth he wasn't sure how to breathe anymore. Something about Irina's words set a chill through his body. He knew that what she'd said was some kind of warning, but it was too vague to properly decode. Was it fear he felt, or something else?

Unfortunately for him, his thoughts of such things got cut off by the scene before his eyes, which he noticed as he naturally drifted from his hiding place.

Kayano was smiling contently as she strolled along beside Karma, who had Itona sat atop his shoulders. Itona was pointing excitedly at the artillery they walked past, saying something which Karma laughed and responded to. Nagisa had no right, but it squeezed his heart. They looked so much like a family.

Nobody had done wrong in this situation, Nagisa was painfully aware. In fact, really all of this was his fault. But this affirmed to him just how much he'd have to get out, once the war was done. Whether that meant secluding himself in his castle, far from the capital, or running away completely… he couldn't stand by and watch this.

'You can say goodbye.'

He couldn't have expected Karma to never move on from him, to commit to a life of loneliness. And of course, it was only natural he'd end up doing that with his actual wife. But the sight of it made him sting and that was the issue of it all. Nagisa had to get away from it.

It was at that moment he realised he'd been staring too long, and Karma clearly caught sight of him, and what he was doing.

Nagisa tried his best to remain casual. He turned slowly, walking in the opposite direction slowly. When he was sure he'd cleared a reasonable distance, he picked up his pace, practically marching his way out of the area. It wasn't like he had anywhere he could very easily hide, though, so he ended up moving to where the horses were resting. It seemed like the most easy excuse to make.

"Nagisa," he heard his voice from behind him the second he stopped.

"I'm just attending to my horse."

Rough hands turned him around at the shoulders. "Could you at least show me the decency of honesty?"

Nagisa swallowed, unable to look him in the eye. "Not here."

"Then let's ride somewhere."

Finally, Nagisa looked up at him. It didn't seem that Karma was going to back down. Perhaps he could attempt to ignore him further but… no. It was probably best to just get this over with, to finally face up to him. He'd already said his goodbye, but at the end of the day they were still allies in this war. Maybe Irina was even right.

Karma was a stronger rider than him, unsurprisingly. That meant that Nagisa ended up following behind, as their horses cantered away from the boarders of their resting place. Karma picked up pace, like some kind of furious determination as they sped up higher ground, finally coming to a stop at the top of a hill as he dismounted.

"Y-you can see far up here," Nagisa cut through the silence.

Karma didn't appear to be in the mood. "What were you doing?"

He clenched his fist. "I was trying to find a way to keep myself useful."

"You were watching me."

"I've kept my distance from you all day," he half hissed. "I didn't intend to cross your path."

Karma tilted his head. "That was more than a momentary glance."

What was Nagisa supposed to say? There didn't seem to be any words to actually get him out of this, not with Karma batting away his weak attempts with ease. A part of him just felt deflated. But Nagisa wasn't even sure what that meant either. Perhaps… he needed to speak from his whole heart as it flowed.

"I saw the maids leave your tent this morning," he finally admitted. "I know I pushed you for this marriage, but it had only been a matter of hours. And you already-"

Karma just stared at him, and it felt certain he'd said all the wrong things. He should have just kept his mouth shut. After all, what right did he have to be angry? If anything, Karma should have been the angry one.

There was a hell of a look in his eyes as he yanked his trousers up, exposing a fresh cut just above his ankle. "We needed to create evidence," Karma explained. "So Yukimura can't just call annulment if he feels like backing out."

Nagisa processed that. "O-oh."

But then Karma was even more in his space. "If you needed to know, Lady Akari and I played cards for most of the night. She can pull a pretty good bluff, did you know? And then we spoke about war plans, and how best I should draft a pardon for the two boys, since their 'father' is an enemy. And then I took my rest on the floor."

"I'm sorry," he got out. "I shouldn't have-"

"No," Karma said. "You shouldn't have."

Nagisa suddenly felt annoyance rise in him. "That doesn't mean you should act so- so cold either."

"Nagisa-"

"Don't," he snapped away. "I know that I upset you, and I'm sorry for that, but you know this is the best arrangement."

Karma stormed in front of him. "So then what I do with my wife is none of your business!"

"I know!" Nagisa found himself practically panting. "That doesn't mean that I like it."

"You sure made it clear that you wanted nothing to do with me."

"Then why are you punishing me?"

For a moment, Nagisa trembled through his words. Karma's mouth opened, but then it stilled again. Like they were both completely stripped of the energy they needed to have this kind of conversation. In truth, maybe Karma didn't even have a response. Maybe Nagisa pushed too far, too hard.

"I don't know what we're fighting for," Karma finally said, far quieter.

Nagisa swallowed, shaking his head. "I can't love you Karma."

"You don't think you've made that clear enough already?"

He squeezed his fist tight. "But I can be your friend. If you'll have me. Even if I have to watch your happiness. Even if… when you move on with your life. It might feel like I'm being torn apart from my insides, but it'll be feel better than this."

"Who said I was moving on?"

"Eventually-"

"You," Karma grabbed his shoulders. "You lied about who you were, and you ran away the moment I found out. And then, after not a word that you were even safe, I suddenly hear that you've reclaimed your title? And now you've decided to dabble in politics, you want to act like there was never anything between us. You want to be friends." He laughed without humour. "Yes, let's be friends."

Nagisa wished for the ground to swallow him whole. Was all of this his fault? Perhaps it was. He'd been wrong, to let himself feel those things for Karma again. Their marriage was from another life, another time. Nagisa would have been okay, to just let it go, but now he had to see him again. Now that he was right there in front of him? He was breaking his own heart, and Karma's along with it it seemed.

"I'll leave," he got out. "The moment your throne is secured. If it's what you want, you'll never see me again."

It was the only way, wasn't it? He saw it then, the pain he'd caused. His thoughts and feelings were so confusing, and it only made things worse. No, surely the only solution would be to stay as far away from Karma as humanly possible.

But Karma looked furious.

"You think that's what I want?!"

"I don't-"

Before he could finish that thought, there came a sound from their army's resting spot. That meant some sort of announcement, but why? Karma had his eyes squinted, peering out across the horizon. His facial expression was impossible to read at that point, but he easily looked puzzled. And Nagisa really didn't know what to say.

"My Lord!"

From behind them, a messenger ended his sprint, clearly out of breath. "Your scouts returned. Yanagisawa's army… spotted… could be on us… within hours."

It seemed like the real battle had just begun.