Ch. 4: They were shadows in the dark, cocooned in its secrets, bathed in its silence, enspelled by each other

Nico wasn't so much as supporting Leo as Leo was supporting him. He imagined they were holding each other up as they struggled to make their way back from Tiki Bob's. Nico felt the shadows clinging to him- could feel the darkness eating him from the inside out. Gods damn it.

"So," Leo sounded as exhausted as the son of Hades felt. "Who's Bob?"

Nico could barely focus on the words coming from Leo. "What?" Slurring my words. That's not good. Will would be mad.

"Bob? You mentioned Bob before," Leo waved his free hand in the air in vague circles. "Before the whole hydra fiasco."

Bob. Bob. Oh.

"He's a friend."

Leo clicked his tongue against his teeth. "Demigod? Zombie? Zombie Demigod?"

Nico pulled a face at the son of Hephaestus. "You... you're…" Nico couldn't seem to grasp the words he needed. "Bob is a friend."

Leo glanced at him. "Yeah. You said that already. You okay, dude?"

"Tired." Nico felt as if he were dragging each foot through the unmucked stalls of the Triple G Ranch. "Can't...think." You can think. You just can't talk. There's a difference.

"Well," Leo glanced ahead of him. "We're almost there. Then you can rest, and someone can look at my ankle."

Nico nodded and kept trudging forward, keeping the silence.

"So. Why can't you shadow travel anymore? Like, you can't can't? Or you won't?" Leo's curiosity shone through his voice.

"Why are you so interested?" Nico could feel his scowl didn't have enough bite.

"Why not be interested?" Leo hesitated as if wanting to tack on actual additional reasons. But, he stayed quiet and let the conversation lapse into silence.

Nico saw the red brick of Union Station growing closer. Upon reaching the entrance to the Waystation, Leo reached out a hand and traced the red bricks. Nico opened his mouth to speak, but Leo shook his head.

"I haven't added you yet. Remind me, and I'll do it tomorrow." Leo looked up at the slightly lighter sky. "Or later today, I guess."

Leo looked back at Nico and smirked. "Let's get you inside, Ghost Boy."

Returning his gaze to the bricks in front of him, Leo spoke. "Dread Pirate Valdez accompanying guest Nico di Angelo."

"...Dread Pirate?" Nico felt the gentle caress of the air servants and shivered. Leo looked over at Nico, reddening slightly. Leo's heartbeat picked up, and he laughed sheepishly.

"Just a little joke. Not a long story, not complicated. Just...yeah." Leo pushed against the bricks.

Nico was too worn out to come up with anything snarky and just smiled wearily. "I like pirates."

Nico sensed Leo's heartbeat skip for a moment before settling back down into a normal rhythm. The son of Hephaestus brought a hand up, rubbing the back of his head as his eyes slid over to Nico. "Thanks." The pair entered the Waystation, dropping off in the Grand Hall.

"Well, I guess we should-" whatever Leo had been about to say was cut off. Emmie's usual routine of rising before the sun meant she was awake to see their late return. She crossed over from where she had been making tea in the kitchen.

"What's happened to you?" She glanced over Nico before setting her gaze on Leo. Her eyes took in his disheveled appearance. Noticing how he leaned heavily on one leg, her arms immediately took Nico's charge and led him over to the couch. She lowered him to the seat and sat down, pulling his right leg into her lap. Emmie removed his shoe and, with a wrinkle of her nose, his sock as well.

She poked and prodded his ankle as Nico slowly crossed over and sat on the arm of the couch furthest away from the pair. "It's not broken."

Emmie glanced up sharply. "How do you know?"

Nico shrugged, but his eyes tightened. "Personal experience." Nico stared at the pair for a moment before looking away and crossing his arms over his chest. "Picked it up helping in the infirmary, I guess."

Emmie's fingers gently ran over the bones in Leo's ankle until, at last, she sighed and agreed with Nico. "He's right. It's not broken."

Nico smirked wearily. I told you that.

Leo jerked his head toward Nico. "You need to take a look at him. Or get Cal down here to do it."

Nico's eyes widened slightly. I'm fine. "I'm fine." It's nothing.

"You're not fine." Leo frowned at Nico. "You passed out, Ghost Boy."

Emmie moved Leo's leg off her lap and stood up, crossing over to Nico. She reached out, but Nico flinched away from her touch. She dropped her arm as if she had been slapped. Emmie cleared her throat.

"Nico? Would you mind if I had Calypso come down and take a look at you? Chiron's letter said…" the ex-Hunter glanced over to Leo and trailed off, awkwardly changing her words as she did so. "...explained some of the things you're going through to us. Would you be comfortable with her checking you over?"

Nico hesitated before nodding and adding softly, "Can she meet me in my room?"

"Normally, we'd go to the infirmary." Nico's face twisted into a pained grimace full of anxiety, and Emmie quickly added, "But, of course, she can. I can help you-"

Nico shook his head. "No." His voice was polite but firm. "I can make it on my own."

Nico rose from the couch and walked over to the staircase on the left side of the Grand Hall. He stopped and glanced over his shoulder at Leo, giving a slight smile. "Feel better." With that, Nico turned and shuffled away and up the stairs.

Surprised he'd only had to stop twice before making it to his room, Nico turned on the light and sat down on his bed, trying to quell dizzy nausea rising in him. He could feel the shadows, could hear them whispering to him: Come with us. Join us. Be us.

Nico fought back a surge of longing and flicked on the lamp on his bedside table. The whispers faded to the back of his mind as more light filled the room. The faint murmurs were still there but not quite as loud. He buried his face in his hands and heaved a weary sigh. He remained still until he heard a knock on the door.

He called out softly, "Come in."

Calypso entered. He hadn't had too many conversations with the ex-goddess, but she seemed relaxed enough for being around a child of Hades. Her caramel-colored braid fell over her right shoulder, several stems of moonlace laced within the plaited hair. Her white t-shirt read "Music for All" with "Muncie, IN" directly underneath, paired with pajama shorts. Calypso caught Nico's gaze and blushed, her tired eyes looking down at her attire.

"Band camp." She smiled slightly. "I was there all summer."

She crossed the room. "Can I sit down to take a look at you?"

Nico nodded but didn't say anything, instead offering her his hand as she settled onto the bed. She eased his palm into hers and sat quietly, eyes closed with her head cocked slightly back.

After several moments, her brow furrowed, and she placed her other hand on top of Nico's. Calypso's touch was warm and gentle. Nico felt the shadows begin to recede, like the tide of the ocean slowly ebbing from the shore.

He did not know how long the two of them sat there- Calypso holding his hand and Nico letting her. But, eventually, the shadows were gone from his mind and his body, and she relinquished his hand.

She sighed, sounding more tired than when she had arrived; but, she opened her eyes and gave a wane smile. "How long?"

How long what? How long have I used the shadows? How long have I been having issues? Nico looked down at the covers of his bed. How long until I give up and join them?

He cleared his throat. "A few weeks."

Calypso looked at him expectantly, waiting for more. When he didn't offer it, she pushed. "Is this going to continue to happen?"

"I don't know." Nico swallowed his exhaustion. "It happened a couple times when I was transporting the Athena Parthenos. I thought I had it under control, but…"

"But?" Her tone was kind but firm.

Nico didn't speak for several minutes. Calypso waited patiently.

"Dionysus says that when my emotions aren't at my baseline, it's harder to control the shadows. As a result, I'm at more of a risk of losing myself." The son of Hades looked down at his hands, picking at one of his cuticles absentmindedly. "Shadow travel poses the biggest threat- it's an almost certainty that I'll become a shadow or fade completely unless my emotions are under control. Even using the shadows to hide us like I did tonight wears me down, and it's hard to resist them when I get that low."

"So," Calypso's curiosity saturated her voice. "Why did you use them then?"

Nico shrugged. "Leo and I might not be here if I didn't." He looked up and met her gaze. "I wasn't going to just leave him."

He didn't understand, but he saw pain flash in Calypso's eyes and her smile was tight when she looked at him.

"Well, I'm guessing you should try to avoid being in those situations then. Or come at it from a different angle. Try to think up some contingency plans, so you don't have to rely on the shadows." Her smile softened until it became a true smile. "From what Leo tells me, you're a very accomplished fighter. Skilled with sword and wit."

Nico blushed and inclined his head but didn't say anything. Calypso stood to go. "You'll want to rest more. I'll send up a plate of breakfast for you- it's my turn to cook."

Calypso crossed the room to the door and pushed it open.

"Thank you." Nico smoothed the blanket and looked down at Calypso's feet, unable to meet her eyes, but he heard her all the same.

"You're welcome, Nico. Let me know if you need anything else. Even if it's just a friend."

The door clicked shut behind her. Nico slumped onto the bed. He was drained but didn't feel much like sleeping. However, his body had other plans, and he drifted off.

Nico knelt in his dream, damp dirt soaking into the knees of his jeans. Nico's eyes screwed shut.

Jason's dead. He's...actually dead.

He fought against the bile rising in the back of his throat.

Why does everyone I love die? Why do they keep leaving me?

He could hear someone calling him in the distance. So far off but getting closer with each passing minute.

Nico opened his eyes. Dryads watched him from beyond, terror written plainly on their faces. Everything within a fifteen-foot radius around the son of Hades was withered and dead.

Dead like Jason.

Nico vomited onto the ground in front of him, the bile hot and acidic in his mouth. Tears stung at his eyes, and he choked back a wrenching sob.

What's the good in loving people if they ever only die on you? If they only ever leave you?

"There you are." Will knelt next to Nico, brushing the hair away from the son of Hades' face. "I'd ask if you're okay, but…."

Nico stayed still, refusing to come out from his stony silence. Will sighed and settled beside him, not caring that the water soaked through his shorts. The son of Apollo threaded a hand through Nico's right. Not talking. Not moving. Just sitting and caring.

He's going to die too.

Nico tried to hold back a sob, his body beginning to shake with the effort.

"Nico…" Will's voice was soft and warm, full of love. "It's okay to cry, you know."

And Nico did. Huge sobs wracked his chest. He pulled his hand from Will's to cover his face, to hide. But Will wrapped Nico his arms, rubbing soothing circles into his back.

"I won't leave, Nico. Of course, I won't leave you. But please...you have to try to get through this. I'll help you, but I can't do it for you."

I can't.

The memory began to fade, and Nico wrenched his eyes open, trying desperately to hold onto Will and pretend that everything was back to the way it was. Before.

But Will was gone. Nico faced the smoke taxi of the Gray Sisters. Chiron stood behind him, his voice warped as if being heard through water.

"Just a change of scenery, Nico. Perhaps you can use this time to focus on getting better."

Nico felt his words fall from numb lips. "You can't send me away. I need to figure out the prophecy."

Chiron's voice was gentle and soft as he spoke. "But you have to be alive to figure out the prophecy, Mr. di Angelo." His hooves clopped nervously as he bid Nico goodbye. "Good luck."

Everything went dark.

The lights were off in his room when he next opened his eyes. Who turned off the lights? Immediately, panic overtook him. Out of habit, he reached for the shadows to escape whatever enemy was lurking, nearly fading into them before he caught himself.

He lay on the covers, staring into the darkness. Is that where Jason was now? Bianca? His mother and Bryce and Octavian and everyone they had lost against the emperors? It wouldn't be long before everyone wound up there- in the dark. So why not join them now? Everything would be so much easier if he just let go.

Nico heard Dionysus' voice in his head: "You are more than the darkness." Nico concentrated on the words: I am more than the darkness. I am more than the darkness. He focused on breathing-it's just breathing- until a knock on his door drew him from his anxiety attack. Leo's sing-song voice sounded from beyond the door.

"Rise and shine, Sunshine. You missed breakfast, so I've got some lunch for you."

Nico sat bolt upright as Leo opened the door and entered the room with a slight limp, flipping the light switch at the doorway. He could feel a fierce scowl sliding across his face and heard the bitterness lacing his voice as he snapped at Leo, "Don't call me that!"

Leo's face twisted in puzzlement, and he held up one hand. "¡Como quieras, no hay problema! Chill, dude." The demigod frowned. "What's wrong with 'Sunshine?'"

Nico felt something twist sharply inside his chest, and he struggled to control his features. "Nothing. I just don't like it." That's what Will called me.

"Whatever you want, Ghost Boy." Leo crossed the room and set a plate piled high with roasted sweet potatoes, avocado, black beans, and kale. A creamy, light green-colored dressing had been drizzled over the food. Without asking permission, Leo dropped to the ground and sat cross-legged.

Nico raised an eyebrow. "How's the ankle?"

"Nothing a little nectar and ambrosia couldn't fix up." Leo wiggled his ankle cautiously. "So, wanna tell me who Bob is?" Leo's head cocked to the side, eyes full of curiosity.

Nico rolled his eyes and reached for the plate and fork. "Please tell me you haven't spent all day wondering who Bob is. Don't you have anything better to do with your time? I'm sure Calypso didn't enjoy you obsessing over it."

A sudden look of hurt flashed over Leo's face before he grinned. "Cal doesn't care much what I do." Although the son of Hephaestus was smirking impishly, Nico could feel Leo's heart thudding in the demigod's chest. "So. Bob?"

Nico shook his head and speared a roasted sweet potato on the prongs of his fork. He twirled it about and looked at the potato before setting it back down on his plate and putting it to the side. "Bob is a titan. Specifically, Bob is the titan formerly known as Iapetus."

Leo squinted one of his eyes shut and frowned. "Why does that name sound familiar?"

Nico shrugged his shoulders. "He and Damasen helped Percy and Annabeth get to the Doors of Death." The son of Hades gave Leo a pointed look. "He's also your girlfriend's grandfather."

Leo scowled but quickly turned his head away from Nico. When he looked back, his face held a forcibly light expression. "Ah. Cool, I guess." A few seconds passed before Leo seemed to fully register what Nico had said.

"Wait, so Bob is a titan? Aren't, like, all titans evil?"

Nico was already shaking his head. "Not Bob. Or Damasen." Nico swung his legs over the bed and leaned forward toward Leo, resting his elbows on his knees. "Bob got dumped in the River Lethe. With Percy. Long story short: he lost his memories and began to work in my father's palace." Nico glanced to the foot of his bed, unable to meet Leo's eyes. "He's my good friend. Bob listens when you have a problem. He doesn't try to solve it for you. I mean, he might give some advice, but he's really- he believes everyone is capable of solving their own problems given the right tools."

Leo nodded. "Sounds like a smart guy."

Nico agreed, "Yeah." The two demigods sat in awkward silence until Nico cleared his throat. "So, do I get to ask a question now?"

Leo held a hand up and ticked off fingers as he went. "My favorite food is Fonzies. My favorite color is red. Yes, I accept gifts. No, they don't have to be wrapped." He grinned up at Nico. "You're welcome."

Nico scoffed. "Not what I wanted to know." He paused for a second. "Fonzies? Those aren't even actual food."

Leo pouted. "They are too. What's your favorite food then?"

Nico sat in thought before saying, "I don't know. I don't think I have one."

Leo shook his head with a laugh. "And you make fun of my food?"

A huff of indignation came from Nico. "Are you going to let me ask a question or not?"

Leo gave a derisive salute. "Sure thing, Your Ghostly Eminence."

Nico ignored the mockery of his title and forged ahead with his question. "What's wrong with you and Calypso?"

Leo involuntarily jerked, and the raw expression of hurt flitted over his face once more before he schooled it into a stiff smile.

"Don't know what you mean, bro."

Nico stared at Leo, meeting his gaze until the other demigod looked away, his smile slowly melting off his face.

Leo looked down into his lap, fingers tapping against his thighs, and muttered, "She broke up with me, okay?"

"Oh." The silence that followed seemed deafening. Leo picked at a loose thread in his jeans, and his shoulders hunched inward. Nico simply looked at Leo. "When?"

The son of Hephaestus ran his fingers over the carpeting of the floor. "Day before yesterday."

Nico sat still for a moment before moving cautiously to the floor. He didn't sit immediately next to Leo but an arm's length away. Nico waited until Leo looked up and asked, "How do...how do you feel about that?"

Leo's eyes flitted about the room, never settling on one thing for too long. "I'm great, man. Great. Have a ton of time to focus on my projects and stuff." Nico looked over at Leo skeptically and cocked an eyebrow.

Leo sighed. "I dunno, okay, dude? I'm confused. Hurt. It's whatever, you know?" Leo looked away. Nico could feel the demigod's heart hammering, although, from embarrassment or being upset, he wasn't sure.

The son of Hades shook his head. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. That's okay. But…" Nico looked away, his own cheeks reddening.

"But if you need anything, I'm here now, at the Waystation. So I can make myself useful. If you, you know, need to..." Nico trailed off but cleared his throat several times, seemingly determined to finish speaking without looking at Leo. "If you need to talk, I'm here. Break ups- well," Nico cringed. How does Dionysus do this? "It'll be a tough adjustment period. But, however you want to handle it, it won't be wrong. Just let people know what you need."

Nico trailed off, his face burning with discomfort. How am I still not better at this? How can Dionysus, Lord of Sarcasm and Disregard, do this so damn well?

Nico jerked his head up, hearing the other demigod inhale haltingly. Leo nodded his head. Nico thought he saw the demigod swipe a hand across his eyes but diverted his gaze, unsure of whether he had overstepped.

The pair sat in silence for several minutes until Leo pushed himself to his feet. "Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I gotta head out."

Nico frowned. "You're going on patrol again?"

Leo laughed, voice still a bit shaky but sounding a bit more bright and sincere. "Nah, man. Besides, it's a bit early for patrol. I just have a prior commitment on Mondays and Thursdays."

Nico raised an eyebrow. "Well, I'll see you later then."

Leo smiled and waved a hand as he crossed to the door. At the threshold, however, he turned back to Nico. "Unless...you want to come with?"

Nico's mouth quirked to the side with suspicion. "Would I be an idiot to agree without knowing what you're doing first?"

Leo grinned wickedly. "Maybe. But, now that you're awake, the alternative is cleaning out Livia's enclosure with Lit."

Nico's eyes widened, and he grimaced, shaking his head. "Give me a second to get ready. Meet you downstairs?"

Leo stepped out into the hallway. "Sounds like a plan." Before turning away completely, Leo looked at Nico. "And Ghost Boy?"

Nico glanced back to Leo, a question in his eyes.

Leo said softly. "Thanks."

Nico smiled in return, and Leo shut the door.

"They were shadows in the dark, cocooned in its secrets, bathed in its silence, enspelled by each other." - J.D. Robb

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed! Your comments keep me going!